30 Puns to Stoke an Angry Fire in Your Brain

‘Will my invention, the glass coffin, take off? Remains to be seen’
30 Puns to Stoke an Angry Fire in Your Brain
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Everyone says they hate puns, and almost everyone is lying. They’re like the Werther’s Originals of jokes: They get a lot of crap, but it’s not like you won’t get a little enjoyment out of them. 

So, unwrap these jokes, which belong in a grandparents’ house both in terms of this metaphor and their comedic sensibility, and let that soothing, familiar caramel taste wash over you.

CRACKED I feel bad for bakers. That's a crumby job.
CRACKED I used to be a baker. I wasn't making enough dough.
CRACKED I used to be a banker. Then I lost interest.
CRACKED I 'd tell an autumn joke. But you probably wouldn't fall for it.
CRACKED I'm addicted to skiing. I tried it once, and went downhill fast.
CRACKED Why are claustrophobes so creative? They prefer thinking outside the box.
CRACKED R.I.P. boiling water. You will be mist.
CRACKED Every time I get naked in the bathroom, my shower gets turned on.
CRACKED I hate long fairy tales. They have a tendency to dragon.
CRACKED What did E.T.'s mom say when he got home? Where on Earth have you been?
CRACKED I used to work in an orange juice factory. But I couldn't concentrate.
CRACKED I used to work at the Coca-Cola factory. But then I got canned.
CRACKED A clown opened the door for me. It was a nice jester.
CRACKED My book on watches is finally finished. It's about time.
CRACKED I forgot how to throw my boomerang. But eventually, it came back to me.
CRACKED I ordered 2000 pounds of Chinese soup. Sure enough, they brought Won ton.
CRACKED What's Forrest Gump's e-mail password? 1forrest1.
CRACKED I got a custom reversible jacket made. Can't wait to see how it turns out.
CRACKED I bought a dictionary, but all the pages were blank. I was so angry, I had no words.
CRACKED A man jumped off a bridge in France. Не was in Seine.
CRACKED A guy thought I wouldn't know the 9th letter of the alphabet. But I was right.
CRACKED A hole was found in a public bathroom wall. The police are looking into it.
CRACKED No matter how much you push the envelope, It'll always be stationery.
CRACKED No matter how kind your children are, German children are kinder.
CRACKED What's a sea monster's favorite meal? Fish and ships.
CRACKED I warn people that I'm not a good electrician. It's not my fault if they're shocked by the results.
CRACKED Will my invention, the glass coffin, take off? Remains to be seen.
CRACKED You hear about the 2 silkworms in a race? It ended in a tie.
CRACKED What do you call an American bumblebee? USB.
CRACKED Bruce Lee was almost as fast as his brother: Sudden Lee.

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