35 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, September 3, 2025

‘Three hours into the mineral show and I have already been shown a rock that can never be discussed’
35 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, September 3, 2025

Sorry, Chewing Gum and Fleabag! John Cleese says British comedy ceased to exist in the mid-aughts. 

The famously curmudgeonly Monty Python member recently argued that bureaucracy killed British comedy, telling audiences at Bristol’s Slapstick Festival that “there has been nothing funny since The Office.” “The people in charge have no idea how to make comedy happen,” Cleese said. “The whole process (of making a comedy show) has been replaced by a bureaucratic process which does not begin to work.” 

Over on this side of the pond, former Saturday Night Live star Michael Longfellow quashed rumors that he auditioned for a spot on “Weekend Update.” According to a Redditor who says they were in attendance at Longfellow’s weekend gig in New York City, the comedian took audience questions about his departure from Saturday Night Live and clarified that he never actually screen-tested for “Weekend Update.”

We can, however, confirm the rumors that these tweets are absolutely hysterical. Today’s funniest include those about “rantch,” Donald Trump’s new look and Spotify DMs.

i like food @messedupfo... 19h s ... rantch C RANTCH ey rantch 44 567 13K 186K
Chase Passive Income 20h s ... POV: You legally changed your name to American Red Cross and now people randomly send you money on PayPal Comprete USD$ 159.20 Completed USD$ 159.19 USD$ 159.19 Completed USD$ 146.27 Completed USD$ 129.32 Completed VISA USD$ 136.85 Completed VISA USD$ 120.87 Completed USD$ 112.55 Completed VISA USD$ 148.79 Completed USD$ 148.88 Completed USD$ 120.88 Completed 43 221 10K 248K
Emma @overdahedgestan-23h s ... #help Start of your chat 12:04 PM Hey do you listen to music Accept message request from You'll be able to chat and share more content with each other. Block Delete Accept 34 386K 1.5K 39K
David Weigel @daveweigel - 7h s ... Sarah Osment @sm_osment. 1d my employer emailed me to congratulate me on my 4-year anniversary with a link to a button that said view recognition which takes you to a page that says you a... 17 1.1K 35K 1.2M
vorloe @Vorloe 1h G ... THIS ANNOUNCEMENT IS WILD. НЕ LOOKS so DIFFERENT. 43 825 22K 231K
7/11 Truther @DaveMcNa... . 1h G ... He's ok UNU 12 360 10K 112K
Mike Beauvais @MikeBeau... 18h s ... TORONTO Unfortunate Bill Belichick stat ahead of -VS EVERYBOAK his UNC debut. N BILL BELICHICK HAS TO BE UP EARLY TO DRIVE GIRLFRIEND TO SCHOOL ESPN Marlins o Nationals 2 MLB Final E ALL OF ESPN. ALL IN ONE PLA MIA > 2H are fewest in single game this season DOWNLOAD NOW 31 328 13K 940K
سماء 18h ... SUMMER ISN'T OVER UNTIL SEPT 22 SO SIT YOUR PUMPKIN SPICE ASSES DOWN! I'M NOT FINISHED WITH MY MARGARITA YET! 18 1.4K 10K 169K
Everything Out Of Cont... 23h O ... Me after finding a fake PNG for the 50th time un D 30K 27 1.5K del 273K
kimchi p @uzukith.21h ... when u text someone and they turn DND on u GIF ALT 88 2.5K 37K del 646K
15h ٠٠٠ @reeceollld + $ 3 friends is enough. 1 for the movie theater, 1 for drinks & apps, 1 for texting concerning mental health information 59 3.8K 44K 570K
Pissed Pissedofferson @fe... 9h : Pissed Pissedofferson @femm... 6/4/25 0 ... We're only moments away from Reese Witherspoon releasing a statement advocating for women in Al 8 309 V Variety @Variety.10h Reese Witherspoon Says Women Need to Be 'Involved in Al' Because It's the 'Future of Filmmaking': 'You Can Lament It All You Want, but the Change Is Here'... 39 2.4K 39K 725K
@ctrlarchive-16h girls only want one thing and its to be photographed candidly on 35mm film 26 4.4K 25K dJ 313K
Turnbull @cturnbull1968.9h ... These three men share a common problem and they've all chosen to handle it in a different manner. 554 2K 30K del 782K
itty bitty cocker titty @hase... 1d G ... i was really listening to WHATEVER Replay 2017 ... JASON DERULO Talk Dirty (feat. 2 Chai... E 47 ... Jason Derulo Ath Me Gu... 48 ... GFriend Wizards Un Poker Everything Is Not As It Se... 49 ... Selena Gomez 94 3.1K 54K 842K
11h anna !!! :)) (at an incredibly low point in my life) i should start dating again 30 865 9K del 117K
МЕССА @iH8Meccavellii -16h G ... They all Tish in different fonts Pop Base @PopBase.22h Miley, Noah, Tish & Brandi Cyrus grace the cover of The Cut Magazine. FALL THE CUT 2025 The Real Story of THE CYRUS WOMEN 98 5.5K 88K 2.4M +
@Res... 8h S ... Respectful Memes explain it to me like im dumb not cause im dumb or anything just like if i was 1.1K 6 9.1K 165K
Respectful Memes @Res... 12h O ... My deepest C250 BOU toyota corollances 618 3 8.5K del 206K
larry davids mistress @b1g... 14h s ... first day back in office after a 4 day weekend i am hungover at work scratching my positive affirmations into my desk with my fingernails all my exes miss me nicotine is good for me i i create shareholder value i have a perfect rack 5 578 10K 110K
Erin @getpseudoed 1 15h Three hours into the mineral show and I have already been shown a rock that can never be discussed. 122 313 12K 246K
Meg @megannn_lynne 19h confession time: i have never remotely understood how minesweeper works & just randomly click on little boxes until things go BOOM 91 868 18K 278K
Khera @Kheramahira21 21h oh that gap on my resume is from when i was the architect of my own hell 20 3.7K 26K 298K
Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz .18h My doctor has sleeve tattoos and is younger than me. But he prescribes everything I tell him to. So there's a mutual respect 28 746 35K 468K
no context memes @....13h s ... TOP OR BOTTOM TWIN ????? 62 1.8K 32K 442K
Ben @The_GM_is_God id s ... It just hit me that this is Lego Batman and Robin 33 1.4K 35K 569K
kira @kirawontmiss.20h s ... - This generation is cooked . - 16 17 6 19 20 21 33 25 26 F2 . to 30 JI за 26K 413 780 596K
horse dentist @equine_....1 16h s ... the bird flu? @tnerefore.yeehaw yeah they tend to do do that that 10 1.1K 16K 232K
 @archer_uwu•1 1d s ... reached the mental age where i am liking posts like this and hoping to see more sal @howlsbooks.2d happy Ber months The BER months are Coming NovemBER SeptemBER OctoBER December 48 6.7K 112K the 1.5M
@vamptact-11h O ... s1nfvl 12m ... they said the heat out here stroking people Where at? 47K 19 4.4K 568K
rosa fernanda @idcwowlov... 16h s ... i made a giant sandwich for dinner 54 594 12K 158K
Advit @advitwake.1 1d ... we need an entire episode set during a 21 minute standing ovation Jillian @JillianChili 1 1 1d The Venice Film Festival episode of The Studio is going to go hard 56 1.5K 35K del 1.5M
+ + rreeceollld . 2 20h ... sorry i'm late i sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes staring at the wall 26 3.1K 24K del 292K
Zik @_Gottalovezik . 21h ... the AC in hotels be a different kind of cold. 73 2.7K 20K del 281K
Tanner @Flair3_.16h S ... fired :( Tanner @Flair3_.19h Threw a bunch of ice cubes into the fryers LOL 177 891 52K 825K

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