30 Squeaky-Clean Jokes A Pilgrim Would Approve Of

‘Why do ghosts love elevators?’
30 Squeaky-Clean Jokes A Pilgrim Would Approve Of
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Plenty of people love a dirty joke, but sometimes you have to keep things thoroughly above board. Whether you need a family-friendly joke for your niece, your boss or the extremely religious parents of your newest paramour, we’ve got you. 

What follows is a collection of classic jokes that would fly at even a Catholic confirmation.

CRACKED Have you heard the rumor about butter? It's spreading.
CRACKED Which vegetable is only kind of cool? Rad-ish.
CRACKED I told the doctor I broke my arm in two places. Не told me, stop going to those places.
CRACKED Ducks keep attacking my dog. I think it's because he's pure-bred.
CRACKED What do you call a toothless grizzly? A gummy bear.
CRACKED What do you call a dog magician? A Labra-cadabra-dor.
CRACKED How do you make a pork chop? Teach a pig karate.
CRACKED Why were they called the Dark Ages? Because of all the knights.
CRACKED What happened when the frog's car died? It was toad.
CRACKED Why do ducks have tailfeathers? To cover up their quacks.
CRACKED What did the house wear to the ball? Address.
CRACKED You should never trust stairs. They're always up to something.
CRACKED What did the duck say after buying lipstick? Put it on my bill.
CRACKED I entered a suntanning competition. But I just got bronze.
CRACKED I just got a job running Old McDonald's Farm. I'm the C-I-E-I-O.
CRACKED What state has the smallest drinks? Minnesota.
CRACKED What did zero say to eight? Nice belt!
CRACKED How close is eight to infinity? 90 degrees.
CRACKED What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na.
CRACKED What's the leading cause of dry skin? Towels.
CRACKED Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits.
CRACKED Kleptomaniacs have no sense of humor. They always take things, literally.
CRACKED I watched a cucumber become a pickle. It was a jarring experience.
CRACKED What do you call a half-bear, half-skunk? Winnie the Pee-yew.
CRACKED Why do golfers wear two pairs of underwear? In case they get a hole in one.
CRACKED Who's the biggest rock group in the world? Mount Rushmore.
CRACKED How do billboards communicate? Sign language.
CRACKED What makes bees' hair so sticky? They use a honeycomb.
CRACKED Why was the beekeeper's hair sticky? Не used a honeycomb.
CRACKED Why are tomatoes red? Because they saw the salad dressing.

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