30 Dad Jokes We Found Asleep in Their Comfy Chair

‘What do you call a man with amnesia?’
30 Dad Jokes We Found Asleep in Their Comfy Chair
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Behold, a collection of jokes perfect to toss out while mid-schmooze. Fire off one of these bad boys with a wink while you're manning the grill, lucky apron fastened around your waist. You'll have the fellas rolling and the children rolling their eyes.

CRACKED Why can't you trust a balloon? It's full of hot air.
CRACKED Snowmen hate it when the weather gets nice. They have a complete meltdown.
CRACKED The alternate universe's Spider-Man aced his driving test. Не was a natural Parallel Parker.
CRACKED I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
CRACKED How do you find Will Smith in the snow? It's easy. Не left Fresh Prints.
CRACKED I never wanted a beard. But over time, it grew on me.
CRACKED If you've seen one shopping center, You've seen the mall.
CRACKED Where did Washington keep his armies? In his sleevies.
CRACKED There's plenty of reasons to visit Switzerland. For example, the flag is a big plus.
CRACKED To the guy who invented zero: Thanks for nothing!
CRACKED Why can't you borrow money from a crab? They're shellfish.
CRACKED Had a nice chat with the spider in the garage. Не wants to be a web developer.
CRACKED I read that crocodiles can grow up to 15 feet. Funny, I've only ever seen them with 4.
CRACKED What do you call a nervous Spartan? Shakespeare.
CRACKED I'm really bad at sticking to this diet. I've got too much on my plate.
CRACKED Did you hear about the fire at the bread factory? The whole thing's toast.
CRACKED Do I like my job selling seashells by the sea shore? Well, it's hard to say.
CRACKED My friend's studying to be a necromancer. He's always been very ghoul-oriented.
CRACKED What did the scarf say to the hat? You go on a head. I'm gonna hang around.
CRACKED I'm headed to an execution later, if you want to come. Should be a good hang!
CRACKED What's the worst part of kissing a vampire? Bat breath.
CRACKED If you ever get cold, just sit in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees.

Did You Hear About the Nun Who Got Lost?

CRACKED Did you hear about the nun who got lost? She was a Roman Catholic.
CRACKED What's the movie Titanic about? Three hours, give or take.
CRACKED What do you call a pig with three eyes? A piiig.
CRACKED What do you call a man with amnesia? Whatever you want, he won't know the difference.
CRACKED My son's learning how to make ice cream. He's going to Sundae school.
CRACKED I bought a universal remote control, and let me tell you: It changes everything.
CRACKED My friend hurt himself playing peekaboo. Не ended up in the I.C.U.
CRACKED My father was buried in the wrong cemetery. They made a grave mistake.

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