30 Dad Jokes to Read While Drinking Black McDonald’s Coffee

‘What time is it?’
30 Dad Jokes to Read While Drinking Black McDonald’s Coffee
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Dad jokes, unfortunately, are sometimes the subject of derision. 

Why? Because they’re clever? Because they inspire delight? Because they’re not fake edgy satire? That groan you emit when you hear a good one is actually some of your cynicism physically forcing its way out of your body, and you should embrace it. 

Below are a bunch of prime dad jokes to help you pursue just that reaction.

CRACKED How do you organize a space party? You planet.
CRACKED What do you call a careful wolf? Aware wolf.
CRACKED What time is it? I don't know! It keeps changing.
CRACKED Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work.
CRACKED Where do hamburgers go to dance? The Meat Ball.
CRACKED I used to have a job recycling cans. It was soda pressing.
CRACKED Did you know that protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic.

We Had to Do Origami in School Once...

CRACKED We had to do origami in school once. I got an A as soon as I turned my paper into my teacher.
CRACKED What do false teeth and stars have in common? They both come out at night.

Why Was the Stadium So Hot After the Game?

CRACKED Why was the stadium so hot after the game? Because all the fans left.
CRACKED A ghost walks into a bar and asks for a whiskey neat. The bartender says, Sorry, we don't serve spirits.
CRACKED Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? Не was too far out, man.
CRACKED Being an organ donor is a brave choice. You could say it takes guts.
CRACKED To the person who stole my anti-depressants: I hope you're happy now.
CRACKED What's the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.
CRACKED I lost my job as a keyboard inspector. I kept missing shifts.
CRACKED What do you call two guys hanging out by a window? Kurt n' Rod.
CRACKED Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Well, then it would be a foot.
CRACKED I always wear a mask at the graveyard. Because of all the coffin.
CRACKED I have a fear of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them.
CRACKED Why did the house go to the doctor? It had window panes.
CRACKED Why are there no seagulls at the bay? Because then they'd be bagels.
CRACKED Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Thank god, he woke up.
CRACKED What kind of shoes did ninjas wear? Sneakers.
CRACKED Did you hear about the girl who didn't get picked in volleyball? She was Annette.
CRACKED What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K? HDMI.
CRACKED I lost the spelling bee on catamaran. I was out at C.
CRACKED I invested in a submarine company. Unfortunately, it took a dive.
CRACKED I'm fascinated by whiteboards. They're remarkable things.
CRACKED Where do fish keep their money? The riverbank.

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