30 Wild Stories from Retail Workers

‘Does this audiobook have pictures?’
30 Wild Stories from Retail Workers
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Working retail is basically a perpetual societal study. Reading about the Stanford Prison Experiment, as someone who’s worked multiple retail jobs? Seemed to me like a waste of time, when they could have observed the same dynamic emerge at pretty much any Walmart.

If you’ve ever worked retail, you’ve met at least a couple people who remind you that monsters walk among us. It’s like a vampire movie, except the biting is mostly on the shins — from unsupervised children who are extremely disappointed in your lack of the Bionicle they wanted. 

Redditors have shared some of their worst stories from past real jobs, and you should hope you never share a checkout line with anyone mentioned.

GotHamm 7y ago | seated this couple at a table that was half a booth but the husband wanted a whole table. So I moved him over there but his wife wanted the booth. So he yelled at her to move over and then he started cursing at me for ruining his lunch. Не left his table so messy because he knew I had to clean it. Like he smeared food on the table for God's sake. Не was still a regular and always tipped like shit so the waiters hated him.
TheOrangeTickler 7y ago Worked in a vitamin store and a lady came in like a bat out of hell and stomped to the counter. She cuts the entire line to make a return. It's like she completely ignored the other people. She was angry that one of our sales people sold her a product and she later saw on Dr. Oz that it really didn't help much. I told her to please wait in line and we will get this sorted for you. She was insistent that she be helped now. She said her doctor said it wouldn't help her
UNC LOLduke 7y ago way too many, but the one that made me the maddest: waiting on an elderly lady, she fainted and hit her head on the counter on the way down. Everyone went over to help her, talked to her as she regained consciousness, pressed a paper towel to her bleeding head, kept her calm as we waited for the ambulance, etc. Another lady stepped over her prone body to the counter, and demanded to be rung up, as she was in a hurry.
Pardon_my_baconess 7y ago Decades ago. Manager at Toys R Us. Probably 25 years old. Christmas Eve so we are closing at 6pm or there about. After running 100 hour weeks since Halloween. Along about 5:30pm, I get a call to come to the front customer service desk. There I am greeted by three adults, all obviously intoxicated, and sharing 8 or 9 teeth between them. Granny proceeds to spit-splain (explaining her issue with much sputtering and spitting) that they are upset that the season's three hottest toys are not available and wants me to find them for her. And we
SarasDino 7y ago I had someone shit in the dressing room while trying on a bathing suit. Also had a customer start gagging at checkout, asked them if they were ok, they said they were, then continued to gag and at this point I chuck a bag at them and run to the back while they puked everywhere and into the bag. Also, had moms come in and ask me to find their daughter a pair of jeans that won't make them look fat. This was a pre-teen store, and as if teenage girls aren't already awkward about how they
Sillyhighguy11 7y ago Women came in and we could all tell she was in a bad mood. (Parked like an asshole, ,slammed doors on the way in, no smile on face, etc.) Orders a large hot black coffee. Easy enough, make it, give it to her and she takes one sip and asks if I put cream and sugar in her coffee. Well no I thought you said black. She explains that she did say black, but wanted cream and sugar and was talking about a black roast of coffee. I calmly explain to her that's she's mistake and she's
YoHeadAsplode 7y ago I hadn't been working this job long and after we had closed there was a family still shopping. I mentioned to them we were closed and the older lady blew up and spent the entire time checking out yelling at me how We were coming to the register! You're being rude and ignorant!. Note, this was a dollar store and we counted things by hand rather than scan them. I had to count over 100 items while being yelled at. The cherry on top? Our machine didn't accept the family's card so we had to put everything
SupernaturalSally 7y ago At my company, one of the products we sell is for emergency pediatric equipment. Well, long story short they were on back order for a really long time, due to no fault of our own, it was all on the manufacturer. One lady was very upset about that and said that I was going to be responsible for the babies that come in and die because they don't have this product. This product is a convenience item and is not 100% required to keep the child alive. Ruined my whole day, but my boss sent her a
CaptainDiabetus 7y ago I used to work at a narighborhood convenience store that had plenty of alcoholic customers. One of these customers had a daughter that came in frequently along with the mom. One time the mom came in with enough booze in her system to down an elephant and told me and my coworker (both males in our early twenties at the time) that she trained her dog to attack mens balls if she said redrum and that she wouldn't hesitate to use him on us if we looked at my daughter. Another time she called the police on
gt35r 7y ago Customer wanted to buy a pair of expensive boots with cash. Told him we didn't have the boots but could ship overnight at no charge from another store directly to him. Ok but I want to pay with cash, that's what you're not hearing. I tell him don't worry sir we can still pay with your cash! I explain to him that he buys a gift card from me for the exact amount+tax and then pay for that pair over the phone with the other store, simple! Nope, he said he would never shop here again and
sasquatch_raper 7y ago Edited 7y ago When I was a teenager I worked at The Jungle, which was a place for kid's birthday parties kind of like Chuck E Cheeze's. I had to oversee an overnight party once with one other employee. There were about 50 out 60 kids, and four or five parents.The parents sat around and drank beer while their kids ran amok, and things quickly got out of control. Me and my co-worker were in over our heads, but too afraid to ring our manager, dumb teens as we were. By the next morning, food was smeared
hit_the_button 7y ago Not retail necessarily but it's customer service, so I think it applies. I'm in college and used to wait tables part-time before it became too much for me. I once had a customer who initially seemed really nice, she came in alone and knew her order right away. Apparently her food was too hot and she became insanely angry when I apologized and told her everything comes out fresh from the oven/grill. She grabbed my hand and stuck it into her (very hot) food and yelled DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TOO HOT DEAR? in the angriest, most
TheOrangeTickler 7y ago Worked in a vitamin store and had a crazy customer. She would come in and demand I punched in all the sku's manually as she did not want the radioactive stuff to hit her vitamins when scanned. Another lady had a meltdown when out credit card machine went down. She looked me dead in the eyes and demanded, fix it. Let me just go get my fucking toolbelt on and crack this baby open. It was a network connection error with the banks.
BerserkBabyDeer 7y ago There's a machine that dispenses change to the customer. I rang one guy up and he said You're going to walk around the counter, pick up that change and put it in my hand. I'm not going to do YOUR job for you by getting my own change. If you expect me to get my own change I require a discount on all of my items because now I'm working here. If you don't agree to this, I will call your corporate office, tell them you refused to serve me and make sure you get terminated. Long
OneFallsAnotherYalls 7y ago I used to work the service desk at a grocery store, but mainly dealt with the backroom stuff. I'm also something of a giant, 6'5, 275 pounds, broad shoulders, I lift weights. The girls at the actual service desk were all super short, and it became pretty common for me to be called to the desk if they thought customers were going to get physical or especially abusive. Basically I'd stand there, chat with one of them, just being big in everyone's presence. I'm actually a pretty big teddy bear. I'd never gotten physical with any customer,
Blasphemiee 7y ago | had a guy headbutt me in a lumber yard because he was drunk and our inventory counts where off. This was at a brand new store so it's not like he had beef with anyone either. Then I had an elderly guy hit me with his cane because when he asked where the lumber yard was I responded with outside and he couldn't grasp the concept that if it wasn't in the parking lot, it must be out back. Got worked up because he thought | was being an asshole. Got me right in the nose.
r0th3rj 7y ago Worked for a popular home supply store with an orange logo. I was staffing the christmas tree lot, carrying trees around, trimming them, bailing them, and then securing them to the tops of customer cars. It was freezing cold and I was covered in sap, aching from a long shift. Customers typically would try to tip once you finished getting them their tree, but corporate did not allow us to accept tips. So I finish tying a nice 9ft frasier fir on top of this dude's car, and he tries to slip me a couple bucks. I
mrcarlita . 7y ago Worked at a party store that sold costumes at Halloween. Had to call the cops over two dads fighting over the last batman of a certain size on the 30th
7y ago I lasted four shifts and then | realized this shit isn't for me. I was just everyones personal spittoon behind the counter when they came to the supermarket tired and grumpy. I particulary remember one lovely young lady who came to buy Rizzlas. She acted somehow weird, at the time I thought she was drunk or high or had really bad withdrawal. (Now I've been thinking she probably was underage and really nervous that I wouldn't sell) I don't smoke so I had no idea what Rizzlas were and no one had filled me in on those.
nehpeta 7y ago I'm not a retail worker, but Jesus Christ you guys are heros. I have no idea how you do it, so thank you. The messes made are so easily avoidable or cleaned up by the customer. The worst I've seen include a small child driving those motor chair carts around publix and running into a very large tower of some kind of beer, hundreds of boxes fall and the bottles break and the adult with them just walked away and said nothing. Not to mention the time I was in a costco/Sam's and there in the middle
jrayl10 . 7y ago Not me, but my wife. She used to work at a book store that rhymes with narnes and boble. middle aged male: Does this audio book have pictures? me: ummmm do you know what an audio book is? middle aged male: YES for listening. me: ok... (few seconds of silence while he actually awaits for my answer) me: they only come in black and white if you want color pictures you should try our DVD sections!
BettyPitch 7y ago I worked in a gas station. One day a really old man came in and started screaming at me demanding to know why I cut his gas pump off at 4 dollars, calling me a stupid bitch, etc. One he had it out of his system I calmly explained that I never turned the pump on for him, much less off. Someone else had prepaid that pump for 4 dollars, forgot to pump their gas, and he was simply the next person to use the already prepaid pump. Не screeched out you're a fucking liar! And threw
AzureBluet 7y ago The other day I heard about a lady who had a food allergy to milk, ordered a frappecino, which had milk in the whipped topping, got really sick and went to the Emergency room, could've died from it, and wasn't too mad because she still wants to come back.
secret_ninja2 7y ago Had a alcoholic OAP shit her pants and just stand there as i refused to serve her booze before 10am (Scottish Laws). She came into the store in just her nighty which went down just below her knees, wasn't wearing shoes around 9am. i refused to serve her and this went on for 20 mins or so before she goes I need to go to the toilet . Told her to go home and come back by that time it will be 10am and I can serve you. NAW I'M NO GOING ANYWHERE UNTILL YOU GIVE ME DRINK.
Jahadaz 7y ago I work a part time retail gig that I don't really need, but I like having a discount. My worst customers are generally the ones who walk in the department pissed off and yelling at employees thinking it'll get them a discount. Maybe it works on high school aged associates, but as a guy in his mid 30's working a 9.50$ part time retail gig, I won't be putting up with that shit.
openrsm 7y ago Worked in a Men's store in college... Lady would come in twice a year and buy her husband 4 or 5 suits, 10-15 dress shirts, ties, underwear, socks, etc. Basically a new full wardrobe every 6 months.... With her 3yr old daughter, who would run around and pull displays onto the floor and crap under the pants racks. To her credit, the lady would clean it up, apologize, and buy anything her little brat pulled off the racks. Every six months, for several years.
Miss_Minus 7y ago Parents came in with their little daughter, asked if they could take up 50 cents extra with their transaction to go to the public toilet next door. Before they were done paying, their daughter peed her pants. Parents turned around and walked out with her without saying a word to me or my colleague. I mean, I get that accidents happen and especially with little kids, but at least apologize to us and offer to clean it up..
supremedalek925 7y ago Was working the checkout registers. A woman and her daughter came to checkout with 2 shopping carts full of products. They made it an absolute nightmare, taking almost 2 hours to get them checked out. They kept repeatedly doing the most ridiculous things, like taking items that were scanned, and putting them back in the cart; the same cart they were still taking items out of to put on the conveyor! Then they started using the register next to me as well, and continued rescanning the same items and making it unclear what items had already been
kittycakes97 . 7y ago Far too many, but by far the worst was the lady who dropped trou and pissed all over the floor because her favorite lotion was out of stock at the moment.
041109 LibbyGoods 7y ago Didn't happen to me but a coworker. We work at a high end department store that has a lot of theft. One day we noticed a lady putting something into her bag and called security who found out that she had roughly $750 worth of products. While waiting for the police to arrive she slipped security, pulled out a syringe, uncapped it and stabbed herself. She then announced loudly to the store that she has HIV and will attack anyone who comes close. We all stepped back, we don't get paid enough to deal with this

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