30 of the Wildest Conversations People Have Overheard on a Plane

‘He’s taking ecstasy, and he has a knife in his bag’
30 of the Wildest Conversations People Have Overheard on a Plane

Legally, it’s not like time spent on a plane is equivalent to some sort of international waters situation. As far as societal norms and morals go, however, planes truly do seem to be a no man’s land. Bare feet are much more prevalent than anyone would prefer, and half of flights, especially long-haul flights, feel like they’re on the brink of descending into pure chaos.

If there’s one thing to be said for the unsettling energy of an airplane cabin, it’s that it makes for great eavesdropping. Everyone onboard knows it’s unlikely they’ll ever have to interact with the other passengers again, and so things that should be whispered instead come out at normal speaking volume. 

Redditors have shared the wildest things they’ve had the fortune or misfortune of overhearing while a couple thousand feet above sea level. Hopefully, you don’t remember saying any of the following.

Pawpaw-22 . 2y ago The lady beside me told me that she was farting a lot, and she didn't care about telling me because she wouldn't see me again
RonnyLuvsU . 2y ago A 5 year old boy once said Dad, can you ask them to pull over so | can go to the toilet?. Haha
monkeysolo69420 2y ago There was this kid was behind me that kept telling her dad she lost her tooth and the dad was disgruntledly trying to find it, and some guy nearby said hey kid, | hear if you lose your tooth on a plane, the tooth fairy gives you 50 bucks to which the dad replied, hey look sweetie, the tooth fairy decided to sit next to us on the plane!
CMCORMS cmcorms 2y ago - - Everyone is boarded and the plane is in the middle of the taxi when a kid about 10 seats up and on the left side (I was on right side) starts crying and screaming at the top of his lungs I NEED TO POOP and I'M GOING TO POOP over and over again until the seatbelt signs came off. I've never seen so many worried faces and the look of panic as the mother picked up the kid and bolted to the toilet.
Delicious_Ad8201 2y ago I am a pilot for a major airline. Decades ago I was running for a deadhead flight home and managed to snag the last seat. A mother and young daughter were seated next to me. Halfway through the flight the mother, seeing my disheveled look after flying all day, asked if | wanted her daughters PB&J sandwich that she wasn't going to eat. | politely declined, but she insisted. That was the best Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwich I'd ever had!
ChangingMonkfish 2y ago Not that crazy as such but when literally about to touch down, a lady got up and started walking urgently towards the bathroom. The cabin crew immediately started saying Madam! We're about to land! You have to sit down! The lady responded by screaming in a panic I'M GONNA SHIT ME-SELF!!! They allowed her to continue
Alternative-Yak-8657 . 2y ago | was sitting next to a father with his small child. The child wouldn't stop hopping around, until the father said sit still and be a good boy or the plane will crash because of you and we will end up dying. Never seen a kid so quiet before.
Soopercow 2y ago Way too late for anyone to see this and it wasn't so much overheard as said to me: I was flying alone and this little girl (maybe 5) wandered down the aisle and said hello. I asked where her parents were and she said they died and a police officer was flying with her to take her to her aunt. My brain was not able to conjure any response at all apart from  errr.... sorry she asked if she could look out my window so | moved over to the aisle seat and let her, me continuously
BigMushroomCloud 2y ago On a charter flight from Goa to the UK He's taking Ecstasy, and he has a knife in his bag, said an old couple to the stewardess, referring to me. I said, I don't have a knife, I'm taking vallium. I just want to go to sleep Stewardess believed me & moved the couple.
Traffodil 2y ago Edited 2y ago Pilot accidentally left the intercom switch on. The whole plane heard him say Ooo. That's weird. Nothing else. Plane took off amid varying levels of anxiety throughout the cabin. I'm here to tell the tale today, so thankfully it wasn't too weird!
MasterClown 2y ago I had a seat near the lavatory. Some poor bastard was in a rush to use it, and once he got inside, it sounded like he fired up a chainsaw followed by some alarming gurgling, gushing noises. It took a while for him to come out, but he seemed okay.
mauore11 . 2y ago A guy coming home early to bust a cheating wife. Не was on the phone with a friend/family who told him the other guy was at his house abd they didn't expect him back until the next week.
 . 2y ago not something I overheard but a friend was telling me he was on the flight between Stockholm/Thailand (either from/to) and there were two old guys openly talking/bragging about all the shit they had done with young boys whilst in Thailand
Prag-O-Matic . 2y ago A small child once told me that she had to fix the plane by lifting the armrest up and down. She also called me a dog-headed boy girl. Roasted.
 . 2y ago We're runnin' late. but i'm gonna fly it like i I stole it. ~ coolest pilot ever
itsrae2you . 2y ago I was sat next to a teenage boy and his dad. The kid was telling his dad how much he loved the song sexual healing by Marvin Gaye, when the kid was finally done talking the dad just looked at him and said you're a virgin
Running_zombie_ 2y ago Nothing too crazy. A couple in their 50's who were all over each other (like tongues in ears, hands in pants etc). They were busy working out the logistics of their next getaway. They were both cheating on their partners and laughing at how gullible their SO's were believing another business trip would come up so soon.
MarleneFrancais 2y ago Sat next to a college guy once who , while drinking some alcoholic beverages, started crying and telling me he killed his best friend in a drunk driving accident. Because he had good lawyers he got off wo jail time. Не was sobbing and drinking. When we landed I made sure he was NOT driving.
 . 2y ago Not so much what he said, but I sat next to this fully grown man that was playing plants VS zombies the whole 3 hour flight with incredible enthusiasm. Everytime a plant got eaten or he killed a difficult zombie he'd jump in his seat, pump his fist and aggressively whisper yeerrsss, YEERRSSS, gert em yessss....
floweringsouls 2y ago Two mormon missionaries trying to convert the sweet, naive man sitting between them the entire flight.
EngineeringVirgin . 2y ago I've told you many times Brenda, I am not shaving my balls! It's my balls and I'm a man!
_joeBone_ 2y ago I was flying solo into Orlando. The woman next to me was so excited about her new boyfriends boat and was going on and fucking on about how excited she was for this trip. I nodded and put my headphones in and about 1 minute later, she grabbed the cord on my headphone and pulled it out of my ear so she could blather on about it... I asked her if she had lost her mother fucking mind.
KittikatB . 2y ago Some guy told his partner that she didn't need more yarn and every woman in earshot promptly told him how wrong he was.
leafygirl . 2y ago Before takeoff, after the doors were closed, a kid of about 6/7 yrs old towards the front of the plane stood up on his seat, faced the rest of the plane and yelled we're all gonna dieee while his parents tried to pull him back down.
 . 2y ago Nervous passenger: Excuse me. How often do planes crash? Flight Attendant: Only once!
eisify 2y ago Once | was nervous flying on a plane, and I apologized to the man next to me that I might be a little fidgety for that reason. Не said I know what will make you feel better and proceeded to show me a video of him playing guitar for a group of deer. It stunned me out of my nerves to say the least.
 2y ago Once I was flying at night and 90% of passangers were sleeping. Suddenly stewardess with poker face ran down the aisle with small fire extinguisher in her hands. | think almost nobody noticed and that made it kinda funny, but it was still scarry, she was really runnig for her life :)))
 2y ago I commented another story elsewhere but I got a good one someone must have overheard. Sat next to this girl on a flight to florida and she started talking to me. Turns out she was flying down to get into porn before she joined the navy, wanted to live a little before joining the navy. It was a wild conversation, I told her to be careful and asked her if someone knew exactly where she was going and stuff just in case, they didnt, so she texted her friend the info. Got off the plane and a
Fla5hP0int 2y ago I was just on an international flight and the dude sitting behind me was talking to another woman. She asked him why he was in Europe and he said it was for a UN summit (or something). Then she asked him if there was any good news that came out of that, he just sighed and said No.
Damolisher2 . 2y ago Yo, are those snakes OK back there?

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