31 Secrets That Kids Think Their Parents Don’t Know

‘His search history popped up with ‘thick girl walking dog’ and ‘jiggle physics’’
31 Secrets That Kids Think Their Parents Don’t Know

Kids of all ages try to hide things from their parents — from toddlers to teens. Of course, what the teenagers are trying to hide is usually much more upsetting than what the toddler is trying to hide, which is usually “a cookie for later.” Though teenagers’ capacity for subterfuge is inarguably higher, chances are good that as you age, looking back, you’ll realize your parents absolutely knew what was happening.

Redditors have shared the secrets their child believes are all sewn up, and for the sake of avoiding redundancy, I skipped the ones that are basically “we know what you’re doing in the shower for 45 minutes.” 

Read on for tales of less-than-stellar spy work by parents and their offspring.

angmarsilar . 8mo ago My kids sneak food from the pantry after they go to bed. I always know because they forget to turn the light off. Every. Damn. Time. | refuse to let them know what their tell is.
SnapCrackleandCrazy 8mo ago My five year old sneaks into his 18 month old brother's bed every night. Не thinks he's being sneaky, but I hear him crawl back into his own bed when I get up at 5am. It keeps both of them calm because our neighbors are loud and scare them often.
ysivart 8mo ago My daughter's bike was lost/stolen after she left it at the bus stop. After a few days of looking she had given up on finding it. She was crushed and I couldn't take it. I picked up an identical bike, I took the training wheels off just like the first one. When I got home I tried to pass it off that I found her bike. A couple of days later she told my wife, that she knew it wasn't her bike, but she didn't want to make me sad by telling me she knew. | know
AdventureBegins 8mo ago My 2 year old tries to hide a car behind his back when I put him to bed. I pretend not to see it until he gets in the crib and go ooooohh you got me SOOOO good! You tricked daddy! Then I tickle him which causes him to drop the car, I take it and hide it. Then I continue to play with him for a minute until he forgets about the car.
8mo ago pantherrecon My 5 year old daughter has a stash of snacks inside of a cat tree. The cats usually end up dragging them out and then I overhear her scolding the cats. I let this go on because 1) it's hilarious, and 2) it's nothing I haven't already given her.
GizmoTheGingerCat . 8mo ago Mine is still little enough to be very, very bad at hiding things. The other day he asked for a toffee. I said no. Не went and got a toffee from the kitchen counter, 'hid' under the kitchen table, loudly unwrapped it, and when I still didn't react, he said 'I'm eating a toffee!'
. 8mo ago Supermac34 My daughter thinks she gets away with reading when she should be asleep. The fact that I have such a large book expenditure each month is also a dead give away.
IKnowAllSeven 8mo ago My son has a crush on a girl in school. Не walks home from school every day and visits our neighbors very old dog. My son gives him belly scratches and, in exchange, my neighbors dog doesn't tell a soul what my son tells him. However, the dogs owner...who is working nearby in the garden is an excellent eavesdropper and knows everything, and she in turn shares it with me. Не will never know that I know.
Chaoticlnsomniac 8mo ago Не likes to read my journal. I'm an avid writer and keep several, including my laptop. It honestly makes me laugh because no one, since my little sister eons ago, has expressed such interest in what I write. What he doesn't know is that the one on my laptop is my real one, and it's password protected. The ones I leave on my bookshelf and office are the ones that are safe for him to read.
Significant_Sort7501 B 8mo ago Not a parent, but when we were kids and one of us was sick, my parents would give us those disgusting purple Tylenol flu pills that you had to chew. My little sister would fake taking them and then stash them under the couch. Our house got flooded in a hurricane and when we pulled the couch out the carpet underneath was dyed purple from all the pills dissolving in the flood water.
liberty285code6 . 8mo ago My friend has a 13-year-old son. I used his laptop to google something and his search history popped up with thick girl walking dog and jiggle physics. Lololololol
SuperSpeshBaby . 8mo ago My kids read in bed at night after bed time. They thought they were so clever buying book lights with their Christmas money.
daejane1 . 8mo ago Right now, my 10 year old is supposed to be asleep. Instead she's laying in bed searching for Zoro with his shirt off and composing a folder with the pics. She has completely forgotten that we share a Google account. She's hasn't even gotten to time ship zoro yet.
8mo ago Oceanbreeze871 Не had a secret character/identity he dresses up as in his room with a jacket and hat and acts out some hero thing. He's never told us what it is. Been doing it for years.
Starbucks_Lovers 8mo ago That she pooped. Lady, I can smell your dirty diaper from across the room
Threndsa 8mo ago My daughter (10) has been using a shared Google doc to chat with a friend while they play games on the switch. She told me yesterday I delete all the text so don't bother trying to see what I wrote. I wasn't planning on reading it but since she spoke up I went and checked and it was the most boring to the point game stuff ever. What pokemon they wanted to trade and what courses they wanted to do in Mario Kart.
hipityflip 8mo ago Mine wakes up early (some days) and sneaks in to take her phone to play games under her bed cover. I know it every time she does it. I don't tell anything.. 30 mins later I go to wake her up loudly so that she gets time to 'put it away'. And she pretends to have just woken up and I pretend to have not known that she was on her phone the last half hour.
MysteriousWait476 8mo ago Mine is barely a toddler so right now it's No, I'm TOTALLY not pooping right now, just the floor got REALLY interesting, so I need to squat down to look at it for a few minutes! She plays with her fingers in the carpet as if she's doing a good job fooling us
Jenos00 . 8mo ago Not believing in Santa, she's playing her cards close for the other two that still seem to believe.
Murkla 8mo ago I thought I was sneaky at 11 and smoked my parents cigarettes, hiding in the barn. My father threw a package at me, here you go, but not in the barn, you can burn the place down. You can smoke indoors!. I stopped, COS it just wasn't fun anymore.
mrlamcran 8mo ago I was talking to my dad about getting away with stuff when I was a kid and said, You never knew that I would stay up reading every night with my flashlight. Не got an amused look on his face and responded, You did that for years and never changed the batteries in that flashlight did you? That's when I realized he knew and was encouraging it the whole time.
mummyoftwoboys 8mo ago I think my 11 year old hides how much he really knows about stuff. Example: he wrote his Xmas list for 'Santa' but I'm pretty sure he doesn't believe anymore. He's a smart boy and you know, the internet is at the tip of his fingers. I just think he won't admit it incase he thinks he won't get any presents which is not the case.
Thevshi 8mo ago . Edited 8mo ago That my 20 year old son is gay. | wish he would just come out and admit it so we can stop pretending we don't know.
btdparadise 8mo ago not a parent but, i thought i had been hiding me smoking nic so good for a year and then one day she came in my room asking to borrow it for a bit to smoke it
My daughter also thinks she sneaky when she bringing toys to school, I haven't heard a complain from her teacher do I genuinely don't care lolz You can hear the clunking sounds coming from her bag in the morning.
Everybody_5olo . 8mo ago My 15 year old thinks I don't know they stay up all night on weekends playing COD with friends. Kid, as if the tired eyes and the mega sleep in the next day weren't a huge giveaway.
photoexplorer 8mo ago My 10 year old always says yes when I ask if he's changed his clothes. Yet when we do laundry there's like 10 pairs of pants and one pair of underwear.
Resident_Concern_860 8mo ago My kids (16 & 10) stay up till midnight on Thursday nights to watch both of their favorite YouTube channels together. They fight like cats and dogs all week long but Thursday nights after I go to work, they make popcorn and spend hours watching Markipliar and old Technoblade videos until midnight, 1 hour before I get home from work. They both think they're being sneaky and they clean up after themselves but they forget 2 things. Popcorns my go to snack and they never delete the YouTube history which is timestamped. My 16 year old is
maestrodks1 8mo ago My niece came over to help get the house in order for a 20-something Thanksgiving dinner. While sweeping in my 15 year-old son's room, she found a couple of naughty video tapes (this was many years ago) and nudie magazines under his bed. I told her put them back and never said anything about it. At some point during his senior year, he informed me that he and his girlfriend had sex for the first time. I knew his dad had already done the talk, so | just looked him square in the eye and said, You
MyDesign630 . 8mo ago My 6-year-old truly thinks she convinced me our dog got toothpaste on the walls. Our dog is 10 pounds and cannot reach the toothpaste, to say nothing of the whole lack-of-opposable- thumbs thing.
senrad . 8mo ago My niece (4 yo) wrote her brothers name on the wall and claimed he did it. Her brother was not even a year old yet.

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