51 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of March 24, 2024

‘Being old enough to see the word goon switch meanings is crazy’
51 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of March 24, 2024

Despite his short stature, Danny DeVito is long on talent.

Abbott Elementary star William Stanford Davis, who plays Mr. Johnson on the beloved ABC sitcom, not only hinted at the debauchery to come in the second half of his series’ crossover with It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, but he also took a moment to hype Sunny’s resident trash man in a recent sitdown with Collider. “The time I spent with Danny DeVito was, really, just outstanding,” Davis said of the five-foot-flat actor. “Such a giant man, just a giant professional, that I just had a ball.”

Davis wasn’t the only star giving out accolades this week either. SNL alum Joe Piscopo recently opened up about his time sharing the stage with Eddie Murphy, revealing that they immediately clicked upon first meeting each other at the SNL office. “Chemistry, whatever it was, we hit it right off the bat,” Piscopo told Cracked

These hilarious tweets from the last seven days may not be able to sing your praises, but we’re confident they’ll make your day. The funniest included those about a black plague silver lining, the true size of the number two and the educational benefits of being a hater.

sarina @sariverse 19h G ... this is what it's like to sell something on facebook marketplace Candice started this chat View buyer profile Hello, is this still available? Message sent Candice is waiting for your response. MAR 22 AT 10:28 AM hi, yes Candice changed the theme to Pizza Change 29 1.2K 39K 507K
the heart @Fredward3948576. 16h ... I'm well respected in the bug community, but unfortunately bugs don't live very long so in a month or two I'll have to earn the bug community's respect again 90 6.4K 77K del 1.1M
The Sensitive Warrior @coffeetime33 - 21h ... asking the waiter for her phone number and then texting her can i have more coffee? two minute later 28 2.2K 51K 814K
G ... expert youtube viewer @rinnyposting 17h bamboo. by technicalities it doesn't count meat joe black @slime_machine. Mar 22 found the stick to end all sticks 17 173 10K 151K
Dr. ر Walter Sparkey @hogsbreathvip82.17h G ... God forbid a man have hobbies AUSTRALIAN BORDER FORCE AMAN FORC i Sydney Sydney 'science nerd' may face jail for importing plutonium in bid to collect all elements of periodic table 116 535 6.1K 163K
connor @1867connor . Mar 24 G ... dentists after saying some battleship coordinates and telling you to come d@ back on june 23rd 2027 15 1.7K 53K 1M
disco lines @discolines 19h ... hootin is a gateway drug to hollerin 83 10.5K 59.5K del 1.3M
G ... debora culos @deboraculoss Mar 24 ? del 1.2M 157 4.1K 75K
KJ @K0LL3X Mar 24 ... y'all remember when Nickelodeon would shut down for a whole day and told kids to go touch grass? 314 5.6K 43K 758K
G ava @avagraciee 20h ... i've never needed a shirt more 1/2 YOU'LL LOVE MY IF YOU LIKE MY BUSCH MOUNTAINS.... Beer Likes Likes 67 67 18 819 15K del 307K
L - matt @rat_adjacent 5h uniqlo kinda feels like government issued clothing but i love 22 991 14K del 244K
addyson @mchinegirl Mar 25 ... I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It's in a banana but it's also the sun? sure. 176 8.5K 140K 2.4M
Grip Skylark @talleyberrybaby Mar 24 G ... This is so silly because one of the first things you learn as a bartender even at the worst of bars is to burn the ice if you break glass. 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm Mar 24 New teaser for 'FINAL DESTINATION: BLOODLINES' In theaters on May 16. 0:05 1.8K 10K 237K del 15M
@imagesaicouldnt. Mar 24 G ... Images Al Could Never Recreate r/shittymoviedetails Join u/ 1y i.redd.it S 6 4 2 In Coco (2017) you can see one of the skeletons is wearing Sid's shirt from Toy Story (1995). This means that Sid died during some point in his goth phase, and also converted to Mexicanism before that point. 18 2 3 17 Share 401 7.8K 229K 3.6M
Eve @bxtchwifemoder Mar 25 ... Things that feel SOOOO good when im a little high -touching myself -touching myself -touching myself -touching myself -eating a burger -touching myself 63 4.4K 43K del 465K
OK @JJJ4Y0_0 Mar 25 america so racist rn i dont even think they would have made dora 24 1.5K 29K 325K
Hott @tonyahtopaz Mar 24 Ngl if I had roommates I'd hate when they come out their rooms 184 3.5K 54K del 1.1M
cole @juul_survivor Mar 24 ... My uber just went over a pothole and it made me follow the person I was stalking on instagram GIF 93 2.5K 102K 1.4M ارار
EmperorJot @cdnursebaker.23h G ... oreo & monkey @oreoeocat Mar 24 She is a big fan of my ceiling fan 5 763 10K 126K
megha @megjpeg Mar 26 G ... ASK me a question failed two exams this week should i drop out TWO is nothing .one of the smallest numbers you'll be fine prezoh @prezoh . Mar 25 ok? and i'm 27 a much higher number x.com/buwygfiib/stat... 32 8.5K 203K 4.2M
longback lin @_lupee_loo Mar 25 G ... It don't say nothing about calling her $lap @slvppy . Mar 24 bro folded AC-SI 25Faz CAL A X DO NOT TEXT HER 15:14 A + Shield sSee .... Allite COFF AMERICAN 10-201 O F g Settings Count 00000249 95 8.5K 136K del 2.9M
G ... Millie @bumpasshell . Mar 25 Lol Millie @bumpasshell Mar 24 Newborn baby stomped my foot so hard it's got a big lump and I can't walk without limping 304 5.5K 233K 6.1M
still. @_vicdagoat.N Mar 26 ... being an adult is just locking in, doing laundry, wiping down the counters, and figuring out what the fuck to eat on a loop. 215 23K 184K del 3.6M
el .w @_like_an_angel Mar 26 ... no it's gooning danishka @chaosfetishist Mar 25 the female version of gooning is laying down and day dreaming about being in love 135 9.9K 167K 2.6M
Images AI Could Never Recreate @imagesaicouldnt - 8h ... AliExpress Shopper 16 Oct 2018 Color:537384 128 Shoe Size:9.5 Am not satisfy with the product Seller's reply: Не is lying 5 97 1.1K del 14K
big duntles @biglunty 5h G ... sitting on these with the lads and having a couple pints directly up your arse >>> Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3 Mar 26 'Beer up' systems, filing the glass from the base ZAPEE ICH MEIN BIER COME SPILL Prendi V 5 da IXTA WTH Vertica se / SOHM EL Vintasco de CE 2 - 100ml Los d por sono - EXTO adidas Goder la ha two adidas HELLES BIONDA 0:14 0.5 45 461 17K del 914K
saturn @he4venscent Mar 26 its like no one wants to makeout for 30 minutes straight anymore 116 5.4K 34K del 700K
Washingtons ghost @hartgoat 23h 0 ... Wearing the skin of your enemy is wild Domino's - OPEN FREE LATE in CHOCES DOMINIS 40 --- 346 2.3K 39K del 940K
H. @Haster18_ Mar 26 ... The black plague had people dropping like flies & they doctors just started aura farming MrZed @spinitbackzed Mar 26 The black plague really had doctors dressed like this 159 6.8K 104K the 2.6M
Josen @josenworldv2 Mar 25 Being old enough to see the word goon switch meanings is crazy 524 12K 156K del 4M
jess @luvjessicablair 15h G ... Thinking of this orange chicken my bf got in Italy 156 64 3.6K del 80K
Ethan @ethanmead4ever. 23h ... me: why do my antibiotics costs $400 my health insurance company flirting with the cheerios bee on twitter: so what ELSE tastes like honey?? 9 1.9K 33K del 417K
DIA FFS FearBuck @FearedBuck Mar 25 G ... working for Amazon with a 48' vertical is crazy Delivery guy's skill 0:08 From 2.5K 28K 534K 19M
Severance Fans @vizualdiary Mar 26 G ... severance fans seeing Corporate employees 21 2.7K 53K del 1M
star @stxrinsky Mar 26 G ... How men drink a bottle, for some reason + 1.4M Search: dean winchester driving scene x 11,561 comments Zthombe3 Gotta keep your eyes on the road. 35 1.5K 52K 1M ادار
Cre @y0lilb0ifriend Mar 25 If you're white you can't crash out you can only go bonkers 560 19K 206K del 4M
Luis Vercetti @97Vercetti Mar 25 0 ... Buying this to take my small friend to concerts PIGGYBACK 3K 22K 304K 15M
Sean Becker @Sean_Becker 15h ...  JOHANN SEBASTIAN BACH: do they still play the harpsichord in the future? ME: only Vampire Weekend sometimes JS BACH: Vampire We- ME: do you want to try texting and driving? 6 350 6.1K del 111K
Hollywood Deals @LocalDingus Mar 26 ... people forget that hating is an inherently valuable form of critical thinking. I've learned tens of thousands of facts via hating 80 9K 58K 1.3M
tel3tuby snip3r @tel3tuby_snip3r. Mar 27 G ... The situation has escalated. tel3tuby snip3r @tel3tuby_snip3r Feb 11 Haven't hit a parlay in months so now I'm wiping my ass with paper towels 288 4.7K 115K 5.1M
jay @jayythewave 20h ... this that shit that turned donkey into a horse jarvis @jarvistwts 21h what you doing after you drink this? D'USSÉ 214 11K 115K del 3.2M
retrocvnt G ... @retrocvnty Mar 26 Good luck finding a cast as good as this MYSTERY ACHINE PENTES Film Updates @FilmUpdates Mar 26 A Scooby-Doo live-action series is in the works at N Netflix. 750 27K 319K del 7.3M
Reni+ @Thaatguyreni Mar 27 G ... NO AN insert a sim card. vinstar @Vinstar66 Mar 27 what would you do with this space? 376 21K 237K del 3.9M
mike from veep @selinaknope 19h G ... his typecast is just HR violators Joanna Robinson @jowrotethis Mar 27 Adam Scott Falling In Love At Work 40 4K 80K del 1.9M
wdds @_wedds Mar 27 G ... Billionaire can't afford $40 art commission Mike Tyson @MikeTyson - Mar 26 My happy place 384 4.4K 87K 1M ارار
Cocchi @CocchiDeer Mar 26 G ... r/NuclearEngineering r/ u/Plutonium_Nitrate_94.335d 18 NSFW Attracting too many furries Hey everyone, I'm a Nuclear Engineer an Aerospace Firm making $195k in Seattle. Every time I go to a bar, party, or any social event in general, I try my best to avoid telling people what I do. Every time I tell a furry (male or female) I'm an nuclear engineer they start hitting on me. Last week I went to a friend's birthday party. Told his brother I was an nuclear engineer. Не kept asking me can you cause a reactivity excursion with your
Ruth Husko @dank_ackroyd Mar 26 0 ... So tell me... is there a Mrs Cig? rocahistory Mr. Cig visits the hospital patients, 1948 48 870 18K 553K
@filmfae 13h ... currently losing at movie trivia because no one believed me that robert downey junior was oscar nominated for tropic thunder II GIF 59 848 48K 811K
no context memes @weirddalle Mar 27 G ... Typa sh*t your mom will send you after a minor argument 149 6.2K 120K del 2.5M
Ace @AceK3chi Mar 26 ... French is not real kill myself me suicider English French 545 17K 259K 4.5M
slatt @slqttyo . . 21h G ... i thought she was in a microwave Minga @itsminga_ 21h My daughter loves to sleep with her butt in the air and it's the cutest thing 94 4.4K 80K 1.3M ارار

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