30 of the Wildest Wrong Assumptions People Made

‘My ex-wife was convinced I had a family in another state’
30 of the Wildest Wrong Assumptions People Made

Wrong assumptions have served as the catalyst for some seriously embarrassing moments. It makes sense that people would try to put two and two together on their own, but there are times when just asking a question can spare them from having to do any math at all. 

One Redditor remembered the time someone tried (and failed) to crunch some numbers about her, and wound up at an embarrassingly wrong conclusion in front of an entire dinner party. People kept offering her alcoholic drinks that she continued to politely decline, which prompted one of the other guests to sleuth out a reason for the behavior. After a while, her eyes lit up as she looked back and forth at the Redditor and her husband. “Oh my gosh, are you pregnant?” she asked. The Redditor laughed and responded, “No, I have epilepsy.” 

She was handed no more glasses of wine after that.  

This sobering scenario is one of many cringey wrong assumptions people have made. From language barriers to divorce court proceedings, here are some of the times peoples’ detective skills were way off…

 5y ago I was at a dinner party and people kept offering me drinks that I continued to decline. Eventually one woman's eyes lit up as she looked between me and my husband and then she asked, oh my gosh, are you pregnant? Everyone around us got quiet and I laughed and said no, I have epilepsy. I was handed no more glasses of wine after that! 20K Award Share ... + 280 more replies
Hwhiteeee 5y ago . Edited 4y ago I started at a new high school my junior year. For starters, I looked like a hippy. I have very long wavy hair and dressed pretty boyish. Everyone, including the school administrators/nuns, assumed I was a drug dealer of sorts. I had never even seen weed or any drug at that point. I got randomly chosen for our schools monthly drug tests several months in a row and periodically there after. People constantly asked me for hookups or where to find hookups. On the plus side, the other hippy types gravitated and became
MAXIMILIAN-MV 5y ago My ex wife was convinced I had another family in another state. Simply because she heard a kids voice in the background when I was traveling for work and sitting in a restaurant once. During divorce depositions, i once spent a full day being questioned, and half the questions were slightly different wordings of so you have another family/child/spouse/kid/dependent/etc... 33K Award Share ...
paleo2002 5y ago Around the holidays my students often wish me Happy Hanukah. The exchange usually follows this pattern: Student: Happy Hanukah, professor! Me: Uh... thanks, Happy Hanukah! Student: Oh, I'm not Jewish. Me: Neither am .... but thanks for the sentiment. Happy Holidays! I'm a college teacher in a Brooklyn school, so a lot of my students simply assume I'm Jewish. 16K Award Share ...
toast_is_ghost 5y ago Before my high school prom I went to get my hair done. Pretty sure my hairdressers assumed I couldn't speak spanish because I was white, but I was fluent. They spent my whole appointment worrying aloud about how my hair was so straight there was no way it would stay curled all night (they were right, it's reeeally straight). Throughout the appointment I would wait a few minutes after they spent some time worrying about it and say something like I know my hair is really straight and I don't expect it to stay perfect, this is
FloorSwimming2384 5y ago Edited 4y ago u That i am clever because I like to read and wear glasses. Then they see my grades and are really suprised Edit: Thank you for the silver! My first. I will pass it on :) 6K Award Share ... maxvalley 5y ago All Fs? I saw your glasses and assumed you get at least all Cs 2K Award Share ...
rissaro0o 5y ago i'm 26, almost 27, and female. i'm 4'11 and have resting nice face. people either baby me or are awful to me because they think i'm a teenager. people constantly ask me what grade i'm going into. i get into places for free sometimes or at kids price, especially if i'm with my family and my nieces and nephews are present. it's a blessing and a curse. but people assume a lot about me. i like it, i'm often underestimated. 1.1K Share Award ...
FakeCraig 5y ago One time in Japan I asked an old lady for directions (in Japanese). I was still a beginner but I tried my best to speak in their language rather than asking stuff in English. So this lady assumed I spoke very good Japanese and started chatting. I tried telling her I couldn't understand and everyone else on the bus was trying to hide their laughter. The conversation went on for 10 minutes and I still have no idea what she was saying. She was very nice though! 42K Award Share ...
 5y ago A bloke from Scotland thought I was Canadian Canadian, rather than naturalised Canadian, and thought the Russian accent was how Canadians speak lol - 22K Award Share ...
StraightSalt7 5y ago I live in a very Hispanic/Latino area and one woman heard me speak English and yelled at me for not speaking Spanish, calling me a traitor to my ancestors and bringing shame to my past family history in Mexico and Puerto Rico. Imagine her surprise when I told her I was Arab and Middle-Eastern. Still felt guilty for not knowing Spanish for some reason Imao. Award Share 19K ...
BananApocalypse 5y ago I sound like a major nerd and often talk to work contacts for months over the phone before meeting them in person. I've lost count of the number of times someone has told me they thought I had glasses. But my vision is perfect. 14K Award Share ... + 162 more replies
Mielornot 5y ago My teacher asked my mom if I was taking drugs because my eyes were bright or something. I was not and my mom knew it so nothing bad happened but a good laugh. - 1.7K Award Share ...
rawr_nickie_rawr 5y ago People assumed is highschool i was eating nothing but junk because i was rapidly gaining weight while my twin wasn't. In truth i was starving myself because i couldn't figure out why i was gaining weight. It wasn't untill my 20s i found out i had a tumor on my thyroid and that's what caused the weight gain. 4.7K Award Share ...
RyeDoll13 5y ago My MIL assumed I couldn't cook, even though I've been cooking my entire life and enjoy doing it. She always insisted that we go out to eat when they visited, to the extent that she would ruin our family plans because she was that adamant about not eating at our house. Until one time, after about 3 years of being together, my husband refused to eat out and insisted that I cook. After eating she turned to my husband in surprise and said, wow! This is really good! I didn't know she could cook like this My
Ihlita 5y ago . Edited 4y ago Usually my age. I've had people guess 15, 17, and even 12 once. I'm almost 31. Guess I walked into this one. No, I won't be sharing any pics. - 4.3K Award Share ...
meerkatherine 5y ago Edited 5y ago That I'm a lesbian, like my whole family thought that. I guess my short colored hair, lack of interests in guys in highschool, and eccentric clothes don't help 4.1K Award Share ... Classifiednukes 5y ago My parents think I'm gay since I'm growing out my hair or something, which is really annoying, considering I'm just bad with girls 1.7K Award Share ...
 5y ago 4 Edited 4y ago A lot of people assume I work in the trades or have no education because I have a lot of tattoos. I have 4 degrees and work in L&D *(learning and development). A lot of people assume I am a heavy drinker, because I'm Eastern-European. I have maybe 10-15 alcoholic beverages a year. A lot of people think I am 22ish. I'm 30. I've had a few people tell me I'm quiet; I just didn't like them and avoided talking to them. - 2.6K Award Share ...
RipenedFish48 5y ago People assume I am unintelligent because I am quiet. Being quiet doesn't mean I don't have thoughts. I just understand that not everyone needs to hear every thought that comes into my head. - 2.4K Award Share ...
 5y ago People seem to always want to talk about kneeling for the flag and other stuff because, as a Marine, they assume it pisses me off. Always seem baffled by my response, I served because of my belief in their right to do that. 2.4K Award Share ...
Planspiel 5y ago People assume that I am unemployed, poor and therefore uneducated because I always wear the same clothes, drive a small car, and am not very talkative. When i need clothes i buy the same piece 4-5 times. I don't feel like bothering about what to wear. My car is exactly as big as necessary. Why should i pay for more? I have 2 different academic degrees and am a freelancer, working mostly from home. 2K Award Share ...
lizardgal10 5y ago People think I'm super fit and in great shape. I'm not particularly tall and am naturally super skinny. I just am. More recently I have started to put some effort into working out and eating healthier. (Because I like to cook and I feel better when I'm eating well and moving.) But people still thought I was in great shape in high school and the beginning of college when I was eating fast food constantly and not moving a bit. It honestly got annoying. Genetics, man. Skinny doesn't equal fit. - 932 Award Share ...
LickClitsSuckNips 5y ago Edited 5y ago I'm 29. Even though my username makes me sound like a 14 year old who just discovered porn. - 644 Award Share ...  5y ago That seems like an awfully 14 year old thing to do is to lie about your age on the Internet. Your mom needs to have a talk with you 570 Award Share ...
MotherofJackals 5y ago Edited 5y ago A lot of people assume I got married soon after my divorce and gave custody of my daughter to my ex because I was cheating. Nope. I gave him custody because she asked to live with him and he has the ability to provide for her much better than I could. I could have made the divorce super messy and petty and came out very well off. I didn't want to put my daughter through that simply for money. I got married soon after my divorce because an amazing guy came into my life
 5y ago I lost all my hair and eyebrows during chemo, and someone I hadn't seen in a while asked when I was getting my Make-a-Wish, thinking I had shaved for the hell of it. They had no idea I actually had cancer 530 Award Share ...
splintersmaster 5y ago This will get buried I'm sure but, I'm half Latino and completely white looking. I get a lot of racist people spouting their hate against Mexicans and the like since they feel comfortable around other white folks. I always try to work in a clever reveal after their rant and watch them squirm if my comment forces them to realise their fuck up 318 Award Share ...
Corporate-Asset-6375 5y ago My freshmen dorm mates initially thought I was a straight edge because of the wholesome show I put on for my parents during move in day. They were sneaking drinks around me the first couple weeks because they were worried I'd tattle on them. Little did they know I had a trunk at the end of my bed full of booze and a bit of coke, plus some stinky weed in the trunk of my car I intended to sell on campus once I made friends. But they were tiptoeing around me because they thought I'd blow
wizardoftheboats 5y ago I'm autistic. Unfortunately, a lot of people think I'm a stuck up bitch when really I'm just very uncomfortable being alive. Apparently, you can't be the silent type and also a woman without being a bitch. I have literally never had conversations with people but have heard vicious rumors about me come from their mouths. They never even try to talk to me. Its baffling. 150 Award Share ...
Danne660 5y ago My 7th grade class was visiting a court for educational purposes, i was a tall person with glasses talking with the teachers when somebody who works there walks up to me to inform me that the students can enter the courtroom and to go over some rules with the people in charge of the class. The thing is i was one of the students and not one of the teachers. Не looked pretty embarrassed to have mistaken a teenager for an adult. Award Share 145 ...
 5y ago I really can't blame people for this one: I present as someone who thinks light jazz is a tad bit too wild. In reality I'm a pretty huge metalhead. Cannibal Corpse, Behemoth, Darkthrone, and such. It's pretty funny sometimes. Award Share 127 ...
Fluttermun 5y ago Edited 4y ago Had a friend I was crushing on that I felt liked me too. We were talking online one day and he had to go to work, he says I'll bbl and then get to spend more time with my favorite Asian. I asked, who's that? For as long as I knew him he thought I was Asian. Once he found out I wasn't he ghosted me. ETA: Just to say, I'm Hispanic American lol enough ppl were wondering I figured it was a good enough reason to add it here. 11K Award Share ...

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?