22 Contests at Which People Are Pretty Sure They Could Beat the Devil

‘Mario Kart’
22 Contests at Which People Are Pretty Sure They Could Beat the Devil

You know the song “The Devil Went Down to Georgia”? If not, you’re either too young or too cool to be reading this. If you don’t feel like looking it up on Spotify or Tsunami or whatever the kids use to stream music these days, it’s about a bet the devil makes with a young Southern violinist: If he can play better than the devil, he gets a golden violin, but if not, he has to give the devil his soul.

That raises a whole lot of questions: Why even take that bet? Metal isn’t a very good material for constructing violins, is it? Where did the devil learn to play violin? Is he generally magically competent, so he just chose whatever bet he thought his target would accept? And what if the devil had stumbled upon you? If the devil looked you up and down, what contest with him would he think you’d think you could win?

That’s what was on user MittyPoots’s mind when they asked r/AskReddit, “In a ‘Devil Went Down to Georgia’ scenario, at what mundane competition could you beat the devil?”

BuckarooBonsly 7y ago The Office(US) trivia
dreadmuppet 7y ago Loading a dishwasher.
sinicuichi 7y ago Remaining in bed and continuing to sleep after you've woken up and have to pee real bad
Mutant_Llama1 7y ago Mariokart, moo moo meadows.
_Oscar 7y ago Connect four on the condition I go first.
zenspeed 7y ago In true Canadian fashion, apologizing.
IrishAmerican95 7y ago The most demanding of challenges, Bop-It.
gertrudeblythe 7y ago Treading water. I can do that for daaaaays.
bunniesslaughtered 7y ago Finding that one spot to pet a dog that makes its leg bounce.
FembotFemputer 7y ago Ben Stein impersonations
Speaker_for_the_Sad 7y ago Binge-watching Netlfix. He's a busy dude with things to do, and my skill at avoiding productivity is the stuff of legend.
theshardunique 7y ago Forklift driving, it's my job and I could thread needles with that thing.
RangerTanner 7y ago Oh I'd be walking away with a golden foosball table
Whiskeyjacks_Fiddle 7y ago Miniature painting. Thin your damn(ed) paints.
4thwiseman 7y ago Ms. Pac-Man. One quarter, standard, standing arcade cabinet. I'm fairly certain I'd crush death.
 7y ago Losing a game of pool, while legitimately putting in effort to win. I can't beat anyone at pool if they're actually trying. I am the best at playing pool poorly.
Octoember 7y ago Makeup. Let's see the devil do a perfectly blended glitter cut crease with graphic eyeliner.
amosmydad 7y ago Folding fitted sheets. I am a male who lives alone and does all his own housework. I figure the devil gets zero practice. Folding sheets is seriously mundane.
Thats_right_asshole 7y ago Devil: How much longer are you planning on sitting here doing nothing? Me: I have all day to win this golden couch. Feel free to leave any time. Devil: No, I'm fine, just sort of sad. Me: Wuss.
asf3trw35 7y ago Digging holes. I used to work construction and I got so goddamn good at digging holes I actually considered writing an essay on it. I wish I had, I've forgotten more about digging holes than most people ever knew. I dug perfectly square holes of exactly the right depth. Everyone knew my holes when they saw them. No that wasn't necessary, but it was fun. I like digging holes and I like optimizing so optimized hole digging was twice as fun as just digging holes. At my peak I led a team digging a six foot deep
southernsideup 7y ago So I feel like a lot of the normal answers don't hold water: Jerking off- I've heard many a preacher say the devil is controlling you when you masturbate. If that's the case then he controls all masturbators and should be really good at hand jobs. Napping/sleeping - Idle hands are the devils workshop, so obviously he's aces at not doing things. Music/playing an instrument - So many artists have sympathy for the devil or are runnin' with the devil. The devil is friends with a lot of good musicians. He's probably picked up a thing or two. Not challenging him
Zzrmax 7y ago That bitch better have brought his deck because it's time to d-d-d-d-d-duel

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