36 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, December 17, 2024

The anesthesia has fully worn off
36 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, December 17, 2024

Despite a bunch of Grinches trying to ruin his Christmas, Dwayne Johnson might have gotten the best gift of all from Amazon. While Red One has yet to recoup its budget during its theatrical run, it became Prime Video’s most-watched debut after being added to the streamer. Johnson’s holiday jaunt is said to have amassed 50 million worldwide viewers over its first four days of release (although the streamer is very, very vague about how it landed on that number). The previous record was held by Jake Gyllenhaal’s Road House remake, which reached the same viewership numbers in two weeks time.

Speaking of remakes, Jamie Lee Curtis may be taking on the mantle of one of Hollywood’s most famous detectives. Multiple outlets have confirmed that the Oscar winner is Universal’s number one choice to play Angela Lansbury’s Jessica Fletcher in a Murder, She Wrote film adaptation. The potential film wouldn’t be the first whodunnit for Curtis, who starred in Rian Johnson’s Knives Out back in 2019.

There’s no need for an investigation to find the humor on the timeline. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the joy of being a hater, a true one-stop shop and a dog that got what he deserved.

Ron Iver @ronnui_ 1d ... The Trader Joe's cashiers are using their secret bell language to talk shit about me again 38 2.9K 45K 1.1M
Soup @soupinthering- 1d Girthmaster implies the existence of a girthapprentice 71 384 7.7K 430K
Sam Franzini @samfz7.22h Okayyy I'm in New York!! I can't wait to go to The Bodega since everyone talks about how good it is... does anyone have the address?? 40 608 20K 396K
jud @judson 1d did not get interstellar on imax tickets 341 4.9K 99K du 2.9M
lain @user000000 12h ... this year felt like being awake during surgery 35 7,969 23.4K 437K
Natsuki. @twtZero_ . 6 6h let people enjoy things okay I enjoy critical analysis and being a hater 133 985 5.8K 132K
mrs papaw @mrsballs69.21h $100 tip Text Message . SMS Today 16:04 Hi, this is DoorDash connecting you to your Dasher for updates about your order. I'M ON MY WAY The sender is not in your contact list. Report Junk 145 5 3.8K 46K
Chris @citehchris 4h ... CITY the kid @basicallytori - 5 5h ok i hate to say it but hear me out, morning walks are kinda good for the soul 5 483 6.7K 342K
man man. @whorezx 18h ... mind you ... he just picked up our child... Today 6:37PM Special cargo obtained, on the way back to base Subject + Text Message RCS 321 7.3K 132K 2.1M
VICIOUS @viciousfrockery . 1d incels yearn for james charles Denims @DenimsTV 4d Pic from the game on the left, fan made on the right. Hire fans lol x.com/EndymionYT/sta... 334 15K 290K 4.9M
tay @hairball1952.22h ... everything i need is here ADULT NOVELTIES BJORK ALBUM'S MAGIC POKEMON YUGIOH AIRSOFT GUNS KARE AATH 10 496 5.1K 99K
ali @alialialoalialo 1d Being in this show is like jury duty for anyone who gets popular on twitter for a little bit FILM UPDATES @FilmUpdates 1d Film Updates The official teaser for 'THE WHITE LOTUS' Season 3 has been released. Premiering February 16 on Max. max Welcome to the White Lotus in Thailand ka! : 12 134 7.3K 251K
Anna Krauthamer @AnnaKrauthamer . 1 17h ... this weekend i participated in a white elephant with a sort of new group of friends. the gift i gave? a curated box of my favorite desserts from throughout пус. the gift i received? a taxidermied toad 190 625 34K 658K
autist @litteralyme0 . 1d I already fucked up 2025 2026 my year fr 104 11K 95K 2.2M
V inho 1 @itto_inho 17h me when im bi and need to code switch swirl.lol @C_SwiirL-10/9/24 Hard 1 83 1 SPID3R @DojaSpid3r-10/9/24 ty goat 106 1 this covers @bardizbirkenn-10/8/24 Pretty 1 74 1 SPID3R @DojaSpid3r r.10/9/24 Ty siss 1 88 1K 11K 22 141K
meatflavor.bsky.social @meatflavors.23h love this animal....... The shart SHARO RT T I H E C M 1v A > O O V Б m AN I D 1 s 110 H I 1 S 8.6K 86K 1.1M
Jack @GayLaVie. 23h Kristen Chenoweth will now travel to Washington where she will be asked to decide if the EPA was unconstitutional in imposing emissions standards on an Ohio factory. & Juliet Broadway @AndJulietBway.1 1d Justice served. 1:21 210 5 5.1K 181K
iana murray @ianamurray 1d he's a challengers fan IndieWire IndieWire @IndieWire 1d Brian Cox Says the Oscars Only Celebrates Films Released 'Between Thanksgiving and Christmas' indiewire.com/news/general-n... 195 4.5K 120K
@Yuritones 1d It's the way he deserved it like every single time mei @sillyfarters - 6/30/24 brian getting beaten up! 0:22 479 9.9K 172K 5.4M
Meryl Streep Shady Facts @mikesmicYT.19h what is rizz if not swag persevering 72 8.8K 61K del 1M
Andrew Woods @JimJarmuschHair . 2 21h lol cinesthetic. @TheCinesthetic• 2d Who is a Nepotism kid with actual talent? 5.1K 6.8K 19K del 58M O'Shea Jackson Jr Follow @OsheaJacksonJr Den of Thieves 2 out January 10th 10:41PM 12/13/24 270K Views 38 105 2.1K 51 28 435 11K 284K
Thermostat @Kthurmz - 14h ... Likely place for them to be. VIKINGS (11-2) AT SEA 126 5.1K 114K 2.2M
skooks @skooookum . 1d recently read Stanley Tucci's book chronicling what he ate in a year and therein he makes several passive aggressive implications that his wife is sleeping with other men. Never really discussed it further. Found it amusing. Italian thing guess. Stanley Tucci @TucciStanley_ 2d Making yourself happy again is the biggest comeback. 520 6.9K 228K 20M
Riki Prosper @RikiProsper 1d Я Last night we let the Yellow Tail X Domino's collab talk tail] LIMITED EDITION MERLOT  SHIRAZ с AUD Domino's WORLD -MOST- INTERANT 550 THE LOVED WINE AWARDS & 2022 CRAFTED BY E CASELLA FAMILY THE PERFECT SIP AUSTRALIA John Conell FOR EVERY SLICE THE RED BLEND ERLOT YELLOW TAIL 17 398 9.4K 361K
Sopranos World @SopranosWorld 1 1d ... Staring at the computer all day hoping no one asks me to do my job 55 5.3K 54K del 1.7M
eleanor @dimestorepaglia 1d ... heist film but they're stealing the giant calico critters from fao schwarz Critters 8 542 7.1K 134K
@notcishet . 1d told someone good luck instead of good night at my dispensary job TikTok greenkingdrech GIF ALT 28 202 8.7K 102K
twinkerbell @Coma_Toes_ 21h Found my target audience 3:12 5GUC Notifications All Verified Mentions Vintage gay porn and 41 others followed you Vintage gay porn and 99 others liked your post Thrift finds have been godly in Texas pic.x.com/62M7Ts3SSp 17 76 6.4K 308K
The tumboy @TheTumboy 1d ... people in the early 90s went absolutely insane for Macaulay Culkin. they had an 11 year old out there hosting SNL 40 660 26K 800K
Skyler Higley @skyler_higley - 1d ... I THINK that gender roles trick us into narrowing our human experiences to conform to societal standards but i iFEEL that a man should not have a birthday week. 67 1.1K 25K 532K
er!c @airwrec2 . 1d this diva went to turkey POP CRAVE @PopCrave. 1d Pop Crave First look at M3GAN in 'M3GAN 2.0' :@EW Entertainment PBS 2025 لما FIRST LOOK 48 2.1K 55K 1.5M
spencer. @_ontologic - 1d what's ur bronouns? lately I'm partial to big dawg 613 7K 70K 2.6M
florida man @yungxabes 1d ... Lord, take Teams not TikTok 86 10K 69K 1.5M
John @coolgoofball.21h ... Would go CRAZY on a bagel WALL GORILLA REPAIR SPACKLING PRIMER ******** KY the Cream Free WARNING: SIDE IRRITANT INDOOR - 16 fl. oz (473 mL) 38 1.5K 30K 528K
Who? Weekly @whoweekly.21h WHO? WEEKLY the circle Meghan Trainor News @Meghan_News01-1d BREAKING: .@Meghan_Trainor reveals she had to perform through a migraine for today's iHeartRadio Jingle Ball performance in Boston. 149 4.1K 172K 4.2M
Cade Onder @Cade_Onder • 3h oh my god he's going to have them executed 4F DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm - 3h Netflix used an A.I. generated Christopher Nolan voice to announce accomplishments for their film division at their holiday party this year. (Source: puck.news/newsletter_con.....) N 12 106K 301 7.1K

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