36 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, December 4, 2024

It’s downright insulting
36 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, December 4, 2024

Long before Kieran Culkin was Scott Pilgrim’s sassy little roommate or wreaking havoc on the Waystar Royco offices, he got his start in one of the most beloved holiday blockbusters ever: Home Alone. Culkin has since added a number of films to his resume, including his most recent outing in Jesse Eisenberg's buzzworthy road trip dramedy A Real Pain, and the 42-year-old actor could easily tell you what they’re all about — but the same can’t be said for Home Alone. Culkin revealed to the Los Angeles Times that he had “no idea what the movie was about” when he first watched it as an eight-year-old, but that didn’t stop him from “dying laughing” when he saw it at the premiere. 

Meanwhile, it looks like there’s no hard feelings between Eric André and John Cena. Despite the now-infamous episode of The Eric Andre Show where Cena, with the help of a metal shelf, gave André a concussion, the two will be reuniting for the Netflix comedy Little Brother. The creative team behind Fox’s short-lived sitcom The Grinder is set to write the script, which will “follow a famous real estate agent whose carefully curated world is upended when his eccentric ‘little brother’ unexpectedly reappears.”

Over on the timeline, they’re ever-eccentric, and it’s given us some more tweets to laugh at. Today’s funniest include those about a sharp first date idea, a new venture for Stephen A. Smith and a way to wake abuela up. 

$. @staciajoliee . 1d I be hanging with anyyyyyyybody in my dreams 459 14K 79K del 1.8M
605 @niique2u . 1d I hate interviews give me the fucking job or else 161 7.4K 45K del 882K
leviya @lisco_2000.4h this spotify wrapped somebody posted on instagram Top Artists Top Songs 1 Smooth Criminal-... 1 Pitbull 2 Trent Reznor and... 2 Roxanne 3 Epic Rap Battles of... 3 Challengers: Match... 4 Lin-Manuel Miranda 4 Challengers 5 AJR 5 Deep Down (feat.... 35 172 3.7K 61K
Ging Freecss Hate Account @Khuze_Elikhulu 12h DE I have sex with the goal to take advantage of the economies of scale and deliver shareholder value by implementing market best practice solutions in order to achieve stakeholder satisfaction kb @kbkills 2d People that have sex with no purpose scares me 35 2K 6.5K 209K
Trevor Knapp @KnappBets 1d Jameis Winston every time he drops back to pass 46 2.5K 52K 1.9M
JON ARO @Liljonaro 13h peter I think that line of coke was actually k ٢ 5 117 2K 39K
John Frankensteiner @JFrankensteiner 10h Love this guy's mask choice in Eyes Wide Shut, zero backstory needed, you just know this is the sickest freak fuck in the room 4 51 1K del 22K
aitana @arobthc. 1d ... first date idea 24 4.6K 26K 571K
altera lynn @whitetailani - 1 1d child left behind TIME SENSITIVE 15m ago Child left behind This item is no longer detected near you. It was last seen near University of Wisconsin - Platteville. 78 1K 32K 346K
tiktok comments @commentsooc• 1d ? POV: you're telling me the most traumatizing story on FT but I see myself in the corner + x 2,969 comments View 25 more V Hide^ Abril Me last week while they gave me my sons autism diagnosis through zoom 2d Reply 6391 1 127 4.5K 75K
Daniel Richtman @DanielRPK 1d Не won an Oscar? Cosmie Daily Cosmic Marvel @cosmic_marvel - 1 1d #Morbius star Jared Leto has found his missing Oscar. ЭКЗМТ 8A33 JS3 IN HE HOTTAMOOD DMV 575 867 60K 3.8M
mary @theoceanblooms. 1d Imao Culture Crave @CultureCrave 1d Ridley Scott was asked how often he thinks about the Roman Empire Never thought about it once 51 3 1.9K 51K
Daimax @DaimaxREAL 18h is this anything? every ISPY adidas NOWNSRY like THE SHIP Me too OF THESEUS BLUE BARO VAN MORNISON 10 U840 BLACK DEMBATH ANTS RED LORRY YELLOW LORAY STREET earth not ISPY CHECK SCHATEL 3 3 TAS MORKIRON a ANTS OW LOAR STREET 157 5.6K 70K 957K
jae stephens @jaephens 20h ... my mother's ozempic tree....... 559 8.4K 176K 2.9M
Crafty Glass @craftyglassldn2 23h ... I've always said this The massage reduces pain of 3 FIGH 3210 Disc Herniation Pain IMAGE BARBER Uges Days Lumbar Pain SIA EN Gervical Pain not blo3 С Hair is like 1997 6109119 Verte sex 200mm Lum alzolybnonz or is good, 2120010] 100% or.. no thanks! 13 418 8.3K 176K
Grace @graceyldn.22h Just completed my faeces. UNIVERSITY OF FIAT LUX POO 38K 170 1.7K 1.3M
miss bae @yungskuntebony- 4h ... When you in the top 0.001% of listeners you should be able to go to the artist house 117 4.6K 26K 356K
Paula Anne @misspauwrites 1d a bowel movement 10 minutes after a shower. BIG SOSA @SosaOfT....2 2d what is betrayal? 573 22.7K 276K 8.7M
The Ball Is Orange @theballisorange 3h Seeing the United Healthcare CEO get shot made me realize I treated you as deductible when I should have put a premium on you to fully cover the preexisting conditions of our relationship. No need to reply, I know this is out of pocket and open enrollment for your heart has ended 39 1.4K 12K 395K
Mexican Rug Dealer @DealinRugs 21h When abuela says she's too tired to make more tamales 43 1.5K 12K 614K
@bklynb4by . 1d Brooklyn ... walk a mile in these louboutins LET e 19 654 6.1K 169K
rhéa @yyentaa.21h ... pour one out a a alamy alamy alamy Image ID: BOBOW7 www.alamy.com Dexerto @Dexerto 1d Eminem's mom, Debbie Nelson, has died at age 69 1 2K 30K 2M
Fred @Red_Dead_Fred19h ... COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFF Wanted to go What if You to The CFP CHEEZ IT. CITRUS BOWL But god said Gamecock Football @GamecockFB 23h POOTBALL SOUTS WE BELONG I X Article The Case for Carolina South Carolina is the only team in the Top 16 of the major Dec. 1 polls (Coaches/AP/FWAA) who is undefeated in the last seven weeks and has played (and won) four Top 30 teams (using Sagarin... 610 15K 26 998K
audrey hepburn enthusiast @darylandfilms.1 19h ... drew barrymore to jonathan bailey and whoever plays dorothy in wicked part two: bring out the original 100% asbestos snow you guys @PopBase.2 20h Pop Base Drew Barrymore surprises Ariana Grande with the original Glinda wand from 'The Wizard of Oz.' 19 628 13K 357K
megan @neckdeepslive 5h This is possibly the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to me Your top songs Wonka You've Never Had Chocolate 1 Like This (Hoverchocs) Timothée Chalamet JOBY TALBOT Wonka Oompa Loompa 2 Hugh Grant, Timothée Chala... Wonka A Hatful of Dreams 3 Timothée Chalamet, The Cas... Wonka For a Moment 4 Calah Lane, Timothée Chala... DOET TALBOT Wonka Scrub Scrub 5 The Cast of Wonka 11K 196K 3.3M 1.1K
roro, PhD @fuglibetty • 1d ... A beautiful intelligent woman. A strange metrosexual man. And a pathological gay guy. these are the three wisemen of the modern day, & once you have completed the trifecta your destiny awaits 13 535 4.1K 711K
Jonah Koslofsky @Koslofskyspeaks - 2 23h Yeah crime... a crime for a movie to be this good!!! Bobby Wagner @bwags 1d crime? crime??? crime????? Phantom Thread R 2017 - Romance/Crime - . 2h 11m ... 1 548 5.8K del 216K
New gal @Kuntress_ 23h drew janda ... @drewjanda The haters said I couldn't do it. And they were correct. Honestly great call from the haters 1:10 PM Dec 11, 2023 11.9M Views @PopBase 23h Pop Base South Korea President Yoon announces he's lifting martial law. 7 5.3K 69K 1.4M
rebecca @abcdrih. 1d I need whatever happened in september to happen to you forever. 45 @hoodispida.2d One month to go 2024 shower count January: 18 February: 6 March: 3 April: 27 May: 9 June: 5 July: o August: 14 September: 30 October: 7 November: 1 December: 359 16K 6M 277K
mads @madsagascar - 1d ... 901 honestly if barry keoghan cheated on sabrina carpenter after please please please she should be able to kill him on stage at her next show 147 11K 163K 2.3M
Dominique @ChefDominiqueO - 1d ... I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first. 103 8.6K 54K 862K
рес @cowboycrimez 1d guy who temporarily forgets the words for locked in: I'm knocked up 19 4.6K 44K 624K
kenzie @pk_kenzie • 1d say imagine having autism and then having a body language expert make a video on you 212 5.8K 134K 1.8M
molly @angelinrealtime. dd my AirPods didn't connect so the whole office heard five seconds of Bill Simmons 60 181 7.4K 485K
RedditCFB @RedditCFB 16h ... (%) CFB Boise State playing a game this Friday for either a bye to the Playoff Quarterfinal with a win or a trip to the LA Bowl Hosted by Gronk with a loss might be the biggest stakes on a single game in the history of the sport. 35 427 10K 548K
Hale FC @awwhalenawl.2 21h @Phil_Lewis_ 21h philip lewis ESPN and Stephen А. Smith are closing in on a new contract that will give him potential access to other parts of Disney variety.com/2024/tv/news/e... 59 27K 2.7K du 2.8M

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