12 Kids and Their Formative Moment

“Me and my mom found a sick bird outside, and we nursed it back to health. Once it was healthy, it went batshit. Clawed and pecked me until I cried and it flew away clutching a huge chunk of my hair in its talons. Last time I ever do anything nice for anybody.”

“My father was a gambler, and one day two men came to our house and broke his legs. Right then, I knew I had to be better than he was — at poker, I mean.”

“One of my toys broke, and I took it apart. I loved seeing the insides and how they worked. Next, I moved on to squirrels, and crows.”

“I was a tomboy, but my mom always wanted me to be more feminine. She broke down crying when I told her my life’s dream was to do something traditionally done by men: bomb Kosovo."

“I tried to swallow a whole egg without chewing and had to go to the hospital. I learned my lesson: Gotta wait until I’m bigger.”

“Some kids at school bullied me because of my shoes. So my mom worked overtime for two weeks straight and bought me brand new sneakers. I’ll never forget what I learned from her: Shoes are important.”

“I stayed with my uncle one weekend, and he spent all night trying to explain some complicated board game called Gloomhaven to me. When my parents picked me up, I was sobbing and said I never wanted to sleep over at Uncle Mike’s again. A couple miscommunications later, and he ended up in jail. Got shanked in the canteen.”

“One year, me and my brother came down Christmas morning, and there were no presents under the tree. Dad explained that the value of Ethereum was down because of a market correction and he needed to wait it out before he sold. Right then and there, me and my brother promised each other to stick to ETFs and index funds.”

“Sometimes, my daddy drinks too much. And when he does? He becomes an incredible dancer.”

“When I was three, my parents lost track of me at the mall. I cried and cried, but they never found me. I’m seven now, and I still live in the mall. I’m going to be really weird.”

“I saw a guy get hit by a train. Probably going to try to avoid doing that.”

“I looked at a mirror and a ghost went in me! I have to find her husband!”