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40 Conspiracies and Myths That Need to Be Lobotomized From the Collective Consciousness

Goldfish get a bad rap, but they can probably remember what you did last summer

40 Conspiracies and Myths That Need to Be Lobotomized From the Collective Consciousness

November 16, 2024

Carrie Fisher rules. She was a once-in-a-generation talent, and an incredible writer to boot. But we have to start being honest with ourselves: There’s simply no evidence she was a script doctor on The Empire Strikes Back.

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40

Split Ends

MYTH You can repair split ends with the right products. x FACT Once the hair is split, there is no repairing the damage. The only thing you can do is cut them off. Products that advertise fixing split ends are lying. CRACKED — Source

39

Jaywalking

MYTH Jaywalking has always been illegal and immoral. x FACT Jaywalking wasn't a thing until the invention of the car. Prior to that, pedestrians and carriages shared the street with very little issue. The auto industry coined the term jaywalking to shield themselves from lawsuits. CRACKED — Source

38

Mint

MYTH Mint products are the key to a healthy mouth. x FACT In the early 1900s, Pepsodent mint dental products became hugely popular due to a Hollywood studded ad campaign. People began associating mint's tingly sensation with cleanliness, and went on to continue buying the products. CRACKED — Source

37

Gun Safety

A blank can still kill you. Blanks are only safe at a distance. Stand less than a couple feet away, and the expanding gases and wadding can do real harm. Several actors have died this way. CRACKED.COM — Source

36

Goldfish

THINK YOUR FORGETFUL PAL HAS GOLDFISH MEMORY? 5 6 10 50 in 15 45 20 40 35 30 25 THINK AGAIN. Contrary to popular belief, that goldfish have a three second memory span, studies have shown that they can remember and recollect information for periods as long as five months, better than most other fish. GRACKED.COM — Source

35

Carrie Fisher

MYTH: Carrie Fisher was a script doctor on The Empire Strikes Back Carrie Fisher was a great script doctor, but she didn't actually rewrite the script for The Empire Strikes Back. The changes were actually made by the movie's director, Irvin Kershner. CRACKED — Source

34

Iron Maidens

CRACKED Iron-maidens were-used in the Middle Ages. People in the Middle Ages weren't as barbaric as people think. The idea that they used iron maidens was made up in the 18th century. — Source

33

Alanis Morissette

Wrong Lyrics Alanis Morissette Ironic The song talks about different situations, but none of them are actually ironic. They're mostly tragic (An old man turned ninety- eight / He won the lottery and died the next day), but there's no irony. CRACKED — Alanis Morisette/YouTube
Genius Lyrics

32

Fresh Produce

MYTH: FRESH PRODUCE IS HEALTHIER THAN CANNED OR FROZEN. FACT: PRESERVED FOODS HAVE moRe NUTRIENTS. Unless you're harvesting your fruit and vegetables from your own garden, that fresh produce has likely traveled over a distance before landing on your table. During that time, it has lost vitamins, minerals, and antioxidants. Freezing and canning stops that loss, because it locks the nutrients in. CRACKED.COM http://abcnews.go.com/Health/reasons-buy-frozen-fruits-veggies/story?id=20683879#1 — Source

31

Absinthe

GRACKED MYTH: ABSINTHE WILL MAKE YOU HALLUCINATE (AS SEEN IN MOULIN ROUGE) FACT: Absinthe contains thujone, which can cause people to hallucinate. However, both modern and older bottles of Absinthe have been proven to not contain enough to make people hallucinate. Reports of hallucination are probably due to the high alcoholic content. — Healthline / IMDB

30

Fingerprints

MYTH: FInGeRPRINTS ARE ALL sUper unique. FAGT8 THEY'RE ACTUALLY WORRYINGLY SIMILAR. Your fingerprints aren't all that unique - -relatives will have ma

29

Nail Growth

Nails Grow After Death CRACKED.COM A common myth says nails (and hair) keep growing after death. Retracting skin may make nails and hair appear longer, but they cannot continue to grow without glucose. Ancient cultures may have come up with this myth to explain why corpses look so fabulous. — Source

28

Tongue Rolling

MYTH: ROLLING YOUR TONGUE IS A GENETIC TRAIT. FAGT8 TONGUE ROLLING IS SOmeTHING yoU LEARN. Elementary school science teachers like to use tongue rolli

27

American Exceptionalism

CRACKED.COM MYTH: The United States is exceptional. The American character is distinctive in some regards (like in its religiosity, optimistic individualism, and disregard for other countries' interests) but these qualities don't consistently set the American people apart from the rest of the world. — Source: Pew Research

26

Lobsters

MYTH Lobsters are monogamous. TRUTH Female lobsters spend up to two weeks with a mate. CRACKED.COM — Source

25

Roadrunners

MYTH Roadrunners can outrun those pesky coyotes. TRUTH Roadrunners can run up to 20 mph, but coyotes can run twice as fast. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

Bulls

MYTH Bulls will charge anything that's the color red. TRUTH Bulls are colorblind to the color red. CRACKED.COM — 18 Animal Misconceptions We Learned From Movies & TV

23

American Express

Prior to 1999, the mythical American Express Black Card was just a myth. AMERICAN EXPRESS 3763 9 Valid Thru GRACKED.COM 02/12 NG CHUN KEUNG The myth became so pervasive that AmEx decided to capitalize on it and actually make a black, ultra-exclusive credit card. — Money Tips

22

Milk

MYTH: MILK BUILDS STRONG BE BONES. CRACKED.COM This myth started when schools were provided nutritional material that boasted the importance of dairy in your diet, when studies cannot link milk consumption with healthy living and especially stronger bones. Who gave them this material? The National Dairy Council. — 6 Ridiculous Science Myths You Learned in Kindergarten

21

The Wizard of Oz

MYTH: A munchkin killed himself on The Wizard of Oz People often say that a munchkin killed themselves while they were making The Wizard of Oz, but that's not true -- it's just an urban myth. CRACKED — Source

20

Spiders

MYTH: DADDY-LONGLEGS ARE THE MOST VENOMOUS SPIDER IN THE WORLD. CRACKED COM The myth states that the deadly arachnids are harmless to humans because their fangs are in the back of their mouth, SO they can't bite us. Daddy-longlegs, otherwise known as harvestmen, not only aren't actually spiders, but they have no venom at all. — Source: Burke Museum

19

Sugar

MYTH: TOO MUCH SUGAR WILL MAKE YOU HYPER. CRACKED This myth stems from a single study in the '70s that proved one child's behavior improved when sugar was removed from their diet - go figure. Don't worry about polishing off your leftover Halloween candy before bed, although maybe consider a change in diet yourself. — Source: Association for Psychological Science

18

Circumcision

MYTH: Circumcised penises are less sensitive Circumcision of the penis has no negative effect on sexual function, sensitivity, sexual sensation, or satisfaction. CRACKED.COM — Source: National Library of Medicine

17

Neanderthals

NEANDERTHALS ACTUALLY HAD GREAT POSTURE. Neanderthals stood upright. The myth of the hunched knuckle- draggers came from one Neanderthal skeleton that — Source: NHM

16

Vikings

CRACKED ALL VIKINGS WORE HORNED HELMETS Actuallys the misconception came from a painter who had drawn the Vikings with horned helmets. He was inspir

15

Madagascar

Myth: Madagascar is all jungle and primitive tribes. Reality: It has a thriving economy with its own airlines, 5 star hotels, and shopping malls. The

14

Antacid

MYTH: ATE So MucH you FEEL SICK? POP An ANTACID. FAGT8 ANTACIDS MAke YoU FEEL even FULLER. Eating causes your stomach to produce hydrochloric acid to

13

Twinkies

MYTH: TWINKIES WILL LAST FOREVER, GUYS! NEVER DATE: IPIRATION FACT8 THEY ACTUALLY LAST ABOUT A MOnTH. The urban legend goes that Twinkies aren't made

12

The Pull-Out Method

MYTH: pulling out doesn't prevent pregnancy. FACGT8 It's alrost as effective as condorors. Used properly, the withdrawal method of birth control is

11

Pork

MYTH: ALWAYS COOK PORK UnTL I'S SWELL-DONE. FACT8 PORK IS MUCH SAFER THAN you THINK. The myth that undercooked pork is swimming with worms is left ove

10

Conspiracy Theory Rock!

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM Good luck finding reruns of Conspiracy Theory Rock. CONSPIRACY THEORY ROCK! Smigel created a parody explaining how huge corporations were buying up all the major media outlets. It just struck me as really funny to do it on our own network, says Smigel. SNL has never rebroadcast the cartoon after its initial airing. — Snopes

9

Jason Ravnsborg

When the South Dakota AG ran over a man on a highway, he was reading a conspiracy theory article. fatne Just before Jason Ravnsborg hit Joseph Boever, he was reading Realclearpolitics and Just the News on his phone- specifically, an article about a conspiracy involving Joe Biden and China. — Source: Law And Crime

8

Alex Jones

ALEX JONES IS KNOWN FOR BEING A POPULAR CONSPIRACY THEORIST... BUT BEFORE INFOWARS AND FAKE DIET SUPPLEMENTS, HE DEVOTED MOST OF HIS TIME TO GETTING RIPPED. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Celeb Early Photos That Don't Look Like The Same Person

7

5G

Conspiracy theorists mistook a guitar pedal for a 5G chip. A TREBLE BA5S DA3 22 220 1223 5G FREQ 10n 2KA4TK In December 2020, an electronic diagram started circulating online in Italy, with conspiracy theorists claiming it was for a 5G chip added to COVID-19 vaccines. It wasn't, though- an — More: 5 Dumb Garbage Conspiracy Theories Spreading Right Now

6

Stevie Wonder

THE CONSPIRACY: Stevie Wonder can see. llllth CRAGKED CON THE THEORY: He likes basketball, and once caught a falling mic stand: two things typical of — Source: YouTube

5

JFK

THE CONSPIRACY: JFK is still alive (and consulting for other presidents). CRACKED COM THE THEORY: The assassination attempt was real, but he survived, — 5 Insane (but Convincing) Theories About Dead Celebrities

4

Michael Mann

Michael Mann, a climate scientist, was just doing his job when he began receiving death threats from people who didn't believe that climate change was

3

FDR

IN 1933, WEALTHY BUSINESSMEN PLOTTED TO OVERTHROW FDR. But the general they recruited for the coup ratted them out. A group that allegedly included th

2

Hunter S. Thompson

Some believe that the king of gonzo journalism, HUNTER S. THOMPSON, was ASSASSNATED for saying 9/11 was an inside job. Much of the theory comes from t

1

The Avengers

The race of aliens that invaded Earth in 2012's The Avengers are based on a conspiracy theory. A CRACKED.COM Mark Millar's conception of the Chitauri was inspired by the British conspiracy theorist David Icke, who believes the world is se- cretly run by shape-shift- ing reptilian humanoids. — Source

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