61 Funny Tweets About Marriage and Relationships That’ll Make You Say, ‘Honey, Come Here and Look at This’

Everyone has their priorities
61 Funny Tweets About Marriage and Relationships That’ll Make You Say, ‘Honey, Come Here and Look at This’

While every relationship is different, there are a few universal truths about them, like the fact that being in a bad mood and watching your boyfriend complete a task very slowly is a recipe for disaster. Or that being on the same page means you can utter a request like “Can you take the thing off the thing?” and the other person somehow knows exactly what you’re talking about. 

These are some of the funniest, most relatable tweets the very online and very in love have posted about being in a relationship, including a fun new argument to have about Top Gun 0.

limp brittzkit ... @Brittymigs Telling my husband not to cheat by saying we have pussy at home 5:17 PM Jun 20, 2022 12 605 12K 179
limp brittzkit ... @Brittymigs 1939: my husband is going off to war 2022: i am helping my husband choose which jibbitz to put on his crocs 2:12 PM Oct 15, 2022 37 1.3K 27K 219
= ely kreimendahl Subscribe ... @ElyKreimendahl today I discovered my husband still has me in his phone as Elyssa Brooklyn which is so FUNNY because he's still in my phone as don't pick up 1:22 PM. Jan 30, 2022 159 3.1K 97K 677
Sarah ... @heyaimsarah So my husband grew up on a rural cattle farm, and later became a massive history buff. Не recently decided to invest hours of research into tracing his family line all the way back to 15th century Sweden: -where they were all rural cattle farmers. 1:52 PM Oct 4, 2024 1.3M Views 196 3K 103K 3.5K
Lucy Huber Follow ... @clhubes My husband just got a new job so he got sent some COBRA forms in the mail. Husband: We don't actually need COBRA, though, my health insurance already started. 4yo: YES WE DO NEED A COBRA 8:57 AM Sep 25, 2024 873.6K Views 121 973 35K 577
SpacedMom Follow ... @copymama My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said That would be like sitting in a field of french fries. 8:49 AM May 20, 2024 4M Views 113 13K 185K 4.2K
sarah Follow ... @sarahradz_ Last summer, my husband met me at a restaurant, and we were so genuinely happy to see each other that the couple sitting at the table next to us broke up 3:26 PM Jul 18, 2024 4.6M Views 181 8.3K 244K 9.2K
madeline odent Follow ... @oldenoughtosay remember that time I ruined my husband's proposal because it was cold and I refused to go walk down and look at the lake anyone else play themselves 8:52 AM Nov 3, 2024 549.7K Views 184 258 12K 528

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Christin Follow ... @hexprax Leftists: it's because of Liz Cheney Liberals: it's because of white supremacist Latinos My boyfriend: it's called Balatro it's kind of like poker but not really 1:23 PM Nov 6, 2024 143.2K Views 8 425 6.4K 189
rob delaney Follow ... @robdelaney Not really political but I am excited to cancel out my wife's boyfriend's vote 6:14 AM Nov 4, 2024 338.7K Views 48 353 9.5K 68
helena ... @freshhel Making my boyfriend stop everything he's doing to look at a picture of a really big lemon i saw in 2019. and then he has to go that's such a big lemon or else I will act weird for 7 hours 11:42 AM Sep 22, 2024 3.1M Views 184 5K 100K 4K
Pastrami Mommy ... @Ewelannawhite got home last night to my sweet, thoughtful boyfriend surprising me with a fresh batch of brownies. ate a few then left them in the kitchen for an hour and came back to this 1:18 PM Jul 19, 2023 16.1M Views 00
chase ... @_chase my boyfriend will whisper bye room when we're leaving the hotel we stayed in for 1 night 4:46 PM Oct 15, 2024 8.1M Views 1.2K 10K 332K 8.4K
tatum ... @planetgraves I was talking to my boyfriend and he was like. I need to start writing down the things you say. And I was like.. Why? And he was like. I want a collection. A collection? I said. Of my thoughts? And he smiled 8:55 AM Jan 2, 2024 3.9M Views 165 6.5K 6.5K 96K
... @katiekmkay stopped texting my boyfriend first and we haven't talked in 36 hours II GIF 9:11 PM Aug 2, 2024.2.3M Views 490 7.2K 4.4K 122K
charles entertainment cheese ... @jmurfffff the first thing my boyfriend does when he looks at his phone in the morning is open google maps like ???? 11:12 AM Mar 31, 2024 5.8M Views 462 2.2K 77K 2K
helena ... @freshhel In a bad mood and watching my boyfriend complete a task really slowly. what could go wrong 8:28 PM Jan 13, 2024 4.4M Views 202 7.4K 142K 3.6K
clip ... @imnotclip I love my boyfriend I mean husband I mean soulmate I mean boy best friend 4:45 PM May 17, 2024 3.5M Views 74 5.8K 30K 4.6K
cass city ... @HeavenlyGrandpa got this for my boyfriend who loves architecture Brutalist Buttplug. 3:24 PM Aug 4, 2024 4.7.8M Views
skooks ... @skooookum I love spending time with my girlfriend etc but the 3000% productivity boost on nights when she's away is hilarious to me. Turns out when there isn't an insanely hot women loafing about it's way easier to focus 8:12 PM Nov 6, 2024 1M Views 77 1.3K 31K 3.7K
bailey ... @baytato My girlfriend just said I can't Kill Myself because I actually deserve to live more than these people like yeah that's actually facts 12:27 PM Nov 6, 2024 . 3.5M Views 145 37K 296K 8.9K
picardie aurora ... @picardie_aurora this is what i eat when my girlfriend is out of town and they stop fully rendering my environment 11:53 AM May 9, 2024 4.3.8M Views
latke ... @latkedelrey you look like trouble is 30+ monogamous man speak for i want to cheat on my wife/girlfriend with you so badly, take my bait please, pretty please 7:14 PM Sep 29, 2022 176 7.7K 76K 1.4K
av ... @clairobeatty quitting my job to pursue my true passion: loving my girlfriend 7:35 AM Nov 3, 2024 1.1M Views 101 6.5K 40K 2.1K
Patrick ... @audiohymn my girlfriend's stomach hurts. she just requested one wheat thin and one grape for dinner 6:23 PM Jan 16, 2024.3.7M Views
the giant ... @chaser_bait my highschool girlfriend's mom was a public defender and would always call cops pigs. and when my gf was 5 a cop walked by and she went hiii piggy!!! hii 3:54 PM Aug 24, 2024 446.7K Views 13 924 42K 686
Dubzy ... @DubzyOnceAgain My girlfriend listening to me work on my Creed songs in the shower before we head out for karaoke 0:19 Last edited 1:19 PM May 20, 2024.3.9M Views 197 4.2K 40K 3.7K
Louise! ... @themouseyouknow Obsessed with the way my girlfriend holds burgers like she just picked up a wounded pigeon 1:57 PM Feb 23, 2024 33.5M Views 15K 1.1K 197K 9.3K
jem ... @eijisboyfriend this is how my girlfriend tries to get me to talk about my feelings SAVE THE FUTURE... TELL YOUR GIRLFIREND WHAT IS MAKING YOU SAD TELL ME BEFORE THE ANDROIDS COME 10:03 PM Oct 9, 2024 1.9M Views 413 10K 138K 10K
Liv ... @Liv_Agar Showing my girlfriend a tik tok I know I just don't think it's funny Sorry 11:11 PM Oct 2, 2024 . 7.5M Views 432 7.3K 278K 9.3K
KNIFE ANGEL (mouse infestation arc) ... @godlovesgoths My zoomer girlfriend was saying that she thinks Chapel Roan's music is too baby queer and I as a queer elder had to remind her that back in my day if we wanted representation in pop music we only had Adam Lambert 7:55 PM Nov 4, 2024 2.1M Views 232 4.8K 108K 3.7K
Cjay Syre ... @CjaySyre This my first girlfriend that's not a broke bitch. I feel like I'm on mars rn 8:23 PM Nov 3, 2024 2.3M Views 311 3.2K 17K 1.7K
faith ... @girlcel_ cheating on my girlfriend with the ghost version of her that i cuddle in my bed when she's not around...... 10:58 AM Nov 2, 2024 133.6K Views 33 435 6.8K 249
Ross Sayers ... @Sayers33 My girlfriend just asked me if I could make her another couple bits of toast. She probably thought I'd need to get a second knife dirty. Wrong. I'd carefully rested the original knife on the edge of the sink. Been training my whole life for this moment. 10:38 AM Oct 14, 2024 1.8M Views 124 2.4K 75K 1K
Armand Domalewski ... @ArmandDoma My girlfriend bought a bag from another woman on FB marketplace...she had me go pick it up and I wound up grabbing it from...the other woman's boyfriend, whom she had dispatched to hand it over 10:17 PM Jun 11, 2023 from San Francisco, CA 12.1M Views 401 8.1K 199K 3.9K
Aubrey Plaza is Wow Platinum ... @NBABabySecret Getting a Woj push alert that my girlfriend is declining my 2024-25 option, but she has interest in bringing me back in a reduced role as a part of her roster 5:11 PM Jun 29, 2024 1.7M Views 67 2.8K 41K 1.8K
onion person ... @CantEverDie while dating: my beauotiful girlfriend, while engaged: my perfect fiancee, 5 minutes into being married: my bitch wife, 9:36 AM May 22, 2024 1.8M Views 52 2.7K 53K 2.1K
v ... @Valcamio girl shut up, he fw both of us..... U my girlfriend in-law 9:28 PM Oct 9, 2024 6M Views 510 3.3K 21K 1.9K
FINN ... @fnafluffy my girlfriend wont stop coveribg every text i send in shrimps 1:32 AM . Jun 12, 2024 5.3M Views 943 15K 237K 8.8K
lovecrypt ... @lovecrypt real texts from my wife it's unfair that only the liberals get put in crystals I want to go in a crystal Now 6:57 PM Nov 6, 2024 . 507.7K Views 130 810 22K 986
elie Follow ... @catboygirlboss i have a wife fetish i'm a freak about my wife 12:06 PM Oct 30, 2024 3.6M Views 227 13K 94K 5.3K
carter hambley Follow ... @carterhambley seeing my girl lost in a corn maze would give me the ick. my wife would never get befuddled by grain 11:01 AM Sep 3, 2024 4.6M Views 147 10K 150K 5.2K
Kristen Arnett ... @Kristen_Arnett crouch like a gargoyle and wash my wife's hair schizotearz @crybabybuick. Jun 25 What would u do here
Robert Komaniecki ... @Komaniecki_R My wife before she jams her ice-cold feet into my thigh: @808mafiabackup Oct 29 if you're in a relationship your partner is entitled to your body. Readers added context No, they aren't. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape Do you find this helpful? Rate it 1:46 AM Oct 30, 2024 8.7M Views 150 8.5K 236K 6.3K
Sakeenah ... @sakeenah_o Can't wait to overuse the my husband said, let me phone my husband, I'll ask my husband 5:59 AM Nov 1, 2024 490.5K Views 36 7.3K 18K 1.1K
sixfootcandy ... @sixfootcandy You know you've mastered marriage when you shout to your husband, Take the thing off the thing, and he immediately removes the tin foil from the baking sheet. 12:25 PM Mar 4, 2024 115.3K Views 23 313 4.7K 106
Marshall Scott ... @Marshall_Scott No I didn't notice the time change I was busy looking at my wife 10:10 AM Nov 3, 2024 1.5M Views 85 5.1K 53K 1.5K
clay ... @claybaebae_ Apparently telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because it's your first marriage is not the right thing to say 7:04 PM Jul 9, 2024 1.2M Views 56 1.9K 43K 755
emily may Subscribe ... @emilykmay Sometimes I'll run into a friend's husband and think to myself, bro you have no idea how hard I've worked to help save your marriage. 9:10 AM Aug 9, 2023 . 3.7M Views 217 4.3K 2K 90K
Imogen Peach ... @NotoriousPeach asked my wife to spoon me this morning and after less than a minute she goes how long do you want me to do this for 12:29 PM Oct 31, 2024 549K Views 68 637 26K 887
Squeaky Emmy (COMMS OPEN???) ... @NighttimeMuffin me: god i wish i had a rich sugar mommy to dote on me and gift me all the stuff i want my wife: hey hun would you like me to make you some lunch? me, sobbing profusely: n-no dont worry about it i dont wanna be a burden 3:43 AM Nov 4, 2024 287.5K Views 22 2.4K 24K 1.3K
Emeline Posner @emelpos 2/8/23 ... just got divorced on zoom in a dunkin donuts, the way the lord intended 246 3,836 89.5K del 2.7M
THE lusty argonian m... 10/29/24 ... my friend has an asshole cat named bart & everytime she talks about him it's like an abusive husband. wdym it's going to set off bart if you get home late 433 15.8K 328K 7.5M
vacation boy @epsilina 10/14/24 i just found out my husband has a hot dog counter on his phone to track his yearly intake of hot dogs 401 1,704 42.7K del 1.8M
ghost @ghost_prole 9/19/24 ... There's a woman on this flight who's Lock Screen is her husband and two kids that she's sitting with and I just checked the husband's Lock Screen and it was the punisher logo 477 7,387 210K 4.9M
Tayoncé Defense Attorne... 9/27/24 ... lana del rey picking a husband 2022 TNN adidas adidas TRUM 259 6,715 130K 2M
Emily Heller @MrEmilyHeller 2d I asked my husband what we should do tomorrow night during the election and he said I'm going to be playing Balatro. was like So... I'm on my own? and he said No, you can download it too. 43 1,076 18.2K 522K
milo edwards @Milo_Edwards 5d ... gf turns to me while i'm driving and goes they're making a top gun 2 and i'm like you mean top gun 3? and then we basically had the bodybuilding forums argument about days of the week where it turned out that she regarded the first top gun as top gun 0 185 1,746 67.7K 1.2M
FLEA @babyibeenajoint. 1d ... don't trust a woman 2 run the country but need ya gf to do all ya job applications 1,871 45K 362K 5.5M
hope hopes hoping @hopes_... 5d ... i know that my gf can't get me pregnant but sometimes i feel like she doesent even try ? 3 417 5,447 138K
Fesshole. FESS ... HOLE @fesshole Saw a fess on here how someone randomly texted their wife saying love you and it saved their marriage. Tried it and now my wife thinks I am having an affair as it's out of character 8:25 AM May 3, 2024 860.2K Views 77 248 13K 153

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