43 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, November 5, 2024

American Psycho Killer
43 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, November 5, 2024

Marvel is testing the magic of Agatha All Along by submitting the series for award consideration in the comedy categories for next year’s Emmys. The decision will place Kathryn Hahn alongside previous winners, including Jean SmartQuinta Brunson and Ayo Edebiri. As for the show itself, the choice to submit the WandaVision spin-off as an Outstanding Comedy Series hints that a show that was initially conceived as a miniseries may be destined for more than a single season after all. 

Meanwhile, a trio of men are taking a little break from Marvel — but not from each other. After the big success of Deadpool & WolverineRyan Reynolds revealed that he’s writing a movie for himself, Hugh Jackman and director Shawn Levy that’s decidedly not part of the MCU. Plot details are obviously being kept under wraps, but it will mark the fourth collaboration between Reynolds and Levy after Deadpool & WolverineFree Guy and The Adam Project.

Over on the timeline, everyone’s getting ready for whatever Election Day might bring — and for the time being, it’s humor. Today’s funniest tweets include those involving a new way to console a friend, a sign with a backstory and an innovative way to get a piercing.

Admiral Snaccbar @Chr... 16h ... Imagine you just took an edible for the night and then you hear a knock on the door and it's Kamala Nandita Bose @nandita... ...16h .@KamalaHarris is knocking doors in Reading, Pennsylvania cc 1:28 1,172 20.4K 386K 12.1M
Lizzy Vivino @LizzyVivino 17h ... Mickey Rourke and I have the same internal monologue RollingStone Subscribe Donald Trump can go fuck himself, he said. He's not a tough guy. He's a bully and he's a bitch, and he can suck my fucking dick. I'll meet him in the hotel room any motherfucking day of the week and give him a Louisville Slugger. Kiss my motherfucking ass, you bitch, punk, cocksucker. evan loves worf @esjes... 23h This rocks so incredibly hard 0:29 MICKEY ROURKE ON U.S IT'S NOW THE DIVIDED STATES OF AM I 1,529 81.8K 3.3M 9,565
Dylan @dylthorn1 . 1 1d The way I thought this was an Abbott Elementary promo pic... Andrew Keenan-Bolger @... . 2d Himbos 4 Harris HARNIS FOUT 43 1,492 60.6K . 1.2M
trinity @trinityemari 19h yall wanna live at chipotle so bad INTERIOR PORN @INT... 22h This refrigerated drawer is what I NEED 218 3,044 113K 2M
Habitual line stepper @drewapi.... 1d ... Tumi @Tumi213.2d Can someone just post a normal plate of breakfast 2,422 14.1K 237K 14.3M
alec @StilllAlec 18h ... TBT to when I lost my license and then brought this to airport security 2:57 LTE Alec Cohen Alec Cohen 3.2K friends Edit profile + Add to story Reels its Photos Details Lives in New York, New York See your About info Edit public details Home Video Marketplace Notifications Dating Menu 23 55 4,977 136K
Liam NissanTM @theliamnissan 1d ... Voters of lowa, you have an opportunity to do the funniest thing in the history of mankind Joey Mannarino CONSERVATIVE Follow @JoeyMannarinoUS Kamala Harris is not winning lowa. I'm so certain of it l'll castrate myself on camera if it happens. These people are just full of absolute sh*t in the final days of this election. 7:22 PM 11/2/24 578K Views 3,107 23.2K 210K 3.6M
m @medhuuwhu 7h When was your birthday january Ahh Your an aquarium 112 1,780 18.4K 345K
JL @spooky_JL 18h ... 5pm and it's dark. God this is so fucking cool. I love this. I am not going to use any alcohol to cope with it because it's so awesome 33 1,939 24.7K 520K
Lone @lonelytiefling 1d Patrick Bateman if he was played by david byrne ULTRA BLAST @ultrak... 1d Ridley Scott on the set of ALIEN 46 2,279 29.9K 877K
owen * @gatorcomputer. 3h ... new piercing idea: the full-body piercing. let me know what you think 64 1,904 19.1K 165K
tall spice @bigbodybae.1 19h ... they saving ALL the daylight damn???????? 161 12.3K 79.4K del 1.5M
Remembering Joey Garcia @NotJosephGarcia 15h  does anybody know who I give this too? 54 2.8K 48K 1.1M
George Civeris @georgeciveris 4d ... KitKats are really good for you... they are mostly air, which is oxygen. 11 241 3.5K 261K
josh (fiendlord99) @oldfriend99 19h Friendly reminder that gulp is with a hard G. i once said julp as my bullies were closing in and it only made matters worse 27 661 9.3K 201K
Natalie @jbfan911 - 6 6h wide awake at 4am. No particular reason. The day ahead will be normal and fine, I am not concerned! amsti tm stime time dreamstime.com ID 22756611 O Ana Santos 773 9 12K 169K
S Norm Charlatan @normcharlatan 20h A lot of people being like, I gotta log off, things are too bad and stressful, and I gotta be honest with you, this is where I thrive. I am where I belong. 32 679 6.3K 228K
Toast @Thembflcation. 20h ... IDC IF YOU NON-BINARY HELP ME LIFT THIS SHIT OUTSIDE! 23 63K 4.4K 990K
BEJALVIN @bejalvin 1d Just one of those nights < BACK REVIEW ORDER 1 2 3 4 Review Order Name Receipt Pay Milk $39.50 x 50 Diablo Sauce Packet x DIABLI 1 was FREE 5 132 2.4K 49K
Awen @Zeroawen 1d lasagna Why don t you Garfield, Im transitioning. transition my my name is Jean now. lasagna from the freezer to the oven, Jean. AR 289 18K 230K 2.6M
Louis Staples @LouisStaples 1d me listening to my own voice notes immediately after sending them NBC 78 10K 104K del 1.9M
clayt n @dfwclayton 20h It's election eve! Don't forget to leave khakis and adderall out for Steve Kornacki when you go to bed tonight 13 440 8.9K 275K
Grant Ginder @GrantGinder. 1d ... So excited to say babe it's only 7pm isn't that wild every night until March 22 4.3K 75K 2M
the prince with a thousand... 16h ... being 24 at the office vs being 24 in college Okay en there's a 56 year old woman here 120 15.2K 192K 2.8M
Jon @jonbir90.20h Nearly time for posts like 'Winter Wonderland with this one x' and the fella looks like this. 23 466 12K 729K
jr @jamesearl23.16h Nowadays you gotta write in your will  do NOT let her in my closet @slutforpop 2d CUSTOM GUCCI AND THE ORIGINAL PRINCESS DIANA NECKLACE??? KIMBERLYYYYY!!! 114 5,736 85K 1.4M
James @zemblamatic.20h I love America but it should stay on tv where it belongs 10 1,686 19.7K 328K
Cait @CaitCamelia 18h Ever since I was a little girl I always dreamed of buying a home at 56 years old SPECTATOR INDEX The Spectator Index 19h UNITED STATES: CNBC reports the average age of the US homebuyer has risen to 56 52 3,982 59.8K 1.3M
särõ @fin_martre 15h ... People move to nyc and just start posting pictures of anything 90 1,393 19.2K 419K
Jonothan Jacobo @Colin_Fiel... 20h ... Oooo let's just post the shirtless pic next time Pao @paocls . 1d I'll do the cooking 42 722 30K 753K
Chris Stedman @ChrisDSted... 18h ... Need this backstory so bad DUE TO RECENT EVENTS OUIJA BOARDS ARE NO LONGER PERMITTED ON THE PATIO your ППИО - in - 671 18.6K 216K 5.2M
Kayla @luv2read13.19h ... in a effort to both drink more water and practice my g splitting I have resorted to this GUINNESS GUINNESS 38 278 17K del 696K
Lucavi @lucavi_ftw 18h ... my dms mostly go look like this, asking for ancient forum stuff Hey can I have the guy I'm mad at someone Yes hold on zzz 8 =D here you go 18 70 2,129 50.5K
Kevin т. Porter @KevinTPorter 12h ... The Substance (2024) 1 91 1,271 41.7K
Accidental Bronson @Accide... 12h ... tallulah @lilcutieorange Can ur boyfriend even caramelize onions?? bitch 5 480 3,942 del 111K
cigaret easton ellis @genderis... 14h ... as a child i never realised winnie the pooh's friend piglet was wearing a jumper. i always interpreted it as some kind of segmented carapace 144 2,519 32.7K 484K
Jada Lynn MM MM @Jayyyyyy_25.21h ... Grandparents buy their grandkids anything DURO 467 4,527 61.2K 1M

Image provided by Cracked

Kath Barbadoro: REBORN @k... .21h ... twitter feels like this now EXXON SUNOC ATE - TACO M BELL RY XON McDonald's GIFTS & SOUVEN Restaurant CELL - adidas Perkins THE TRO:2 Quezoos Sus PE BOLUBE - adidas جامع EXON Clas Cash Self Dirrer 658 - WAL SAMS R 305A I 39 EXON - 4271 170 4,264 61.7K 888K
the federalist stinks!!!! @rajan... 21h ... Nice/chemicals is a false dichotomy from which Americans have freed ourselves Charlotte H V @Charlot... . 2d Americans, are these actually nice? They look like they'd just taste of chemicals x.com/flvttershy_/S... 40 1,996 29.7K 754K
Daniel M. Lavery @daniel_m_l... 15h ...  well, you know what they say, A Pope's nephew dies twice; the second time like all men, the first time when his uncle dies. -Cardinal Albani 12 414 6,586 139K
annie @annieroooney- 16h When someone says I tweet too much Joyce Carol Oates @JoyceCarolOates it takes 20 seconds to tweet. if you tweet five times a day, that's just a few minutes, but it might seem to the observer like much more, like most illusions. 3 417 4,302 119K
Púca @pucamusic 19h ... Can't wait to go to a record shop and ask for this. No, not that one, i'll say Lindsay Lohan Fan Updates 1d Republic Records will be releasing a pink 7-inch vinyl of Rumors by Lindsay Lohan this month to celebrate its 20th anniversary. gies day single singles day sin PERE' LINDSAY LoHAN GHN 200033 sir Singles day 10 348 7,007 234K
The Serfs @theserfstv.8h RFK Jr closes out his final day of campaigning AP The Associated Press 9h The butchered remains of a dolphin were found on a New Jersey beach. Feds are investigating apnews.com/ article/butche... 65 4,706 61.9K 1.8M

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