36 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, October 31, 2024

Zoomers are so cooked
36 of the Funniest Tweets from Thursday, October 31, 2024

Given that it’s Halloween, Julia Louis-Dreyfus is sharing one of her scariest stories. On her podcast, Wiser Than Me, the Veep actress divulged a “cringy” moment that helped shape her career. She and three other “complete and total unknowns” from Chicago’s Practical Theater company performed in the Saturday Night Live offices “under fluorescent lights, in the middle of the day, in front of 20 very cynical, unfriendly SNL cast members and writers.” Unfortunately, the “sketches that had killed in Chicago died a terrible, terrible death that day,” but according to Louis-Dreyfus, at least she got a taste of the humiliation that would be her SNL experience.

Speaking of SNL, new hosts have been announced for the next couple of episodes. John Mulaney is getting ready for his sixth hosting gig, and Bill Burr and Charli XCX have been added to November’s lineup. Burr will take on the show’s post-election episode, while the Brat singer will perform double duty as musical guest and first-time host the following week. 

All the while, the timeline is proving once again that comedy can’t be relegated to one day of the week. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the duality of the college student, the dedication of Keanu Reeves and a number we can’t pronounce.

alté babe @Kat_Upendi 11h ... These are the monitoring spirits they talk about K @Kelebohileem . 23h October dump with the fries you posted in May ? 146 5.3K 26K 748K
may م و @littIefreakmay- 1d this role model guy is so unserious i might have to stan Quizzes TV & Movies Shopping Videos N Notes ... Done 5 MY ENEMIES: Celebrity Posted 2 hours ago -Pop Crave -Pitchfork Harry Styles Has Won -People Magazine/Harry People's Sexiest Musician Alive, And The Singer That Came In Second Place Seems Genuinely Upset About It You had an opportunity to really do something for the culture. To create this beautiful ending to an underdog story. And you didn't. by Abby Zinman BuzzFeed Staff 56 491 16K 430K
cass city @HeavenlyGrandpa-14h imagine if this is how jesse eisenberg found out CINEMA SOLICI Cinema Solace @SolaceCinema 20h Jesse Eisenberg to write and direct an original musical- with all songs also written by him. (Source: @KellyClarksonTV) 43 482 18K 524K
antipodean scourge @guywhoiswoke 15h Me every time I see my gf's ass Zero Blog Thirty @ZeroBlog30.16h AA Cueale 3 368 6.1K 332K
debo @killmefam - 1d ... Starving SAVE 19 168 3.5K 163K
Robbie @DumbNerdBoy 14h Yankees before Yankees after the 5th inning the 5th inning 2 112 1.2K 40K
jamie @veryhotmomm. 4h i know a pinot grigio with two ice cubes hates to see demi coming tima- margaret qualley's pr manager @fa... . 2 21h two divas making history in cannes 0:09 5 47 2.4K 66K
Igbt doug bowser @dancommadirty. 1d swimming has been legalized in the ocean like POP CRAVE @PopCrave. 1d Pop Crave Jaywalking has been legalized in New York City. 37219 NYPD 45 8K 194K 2.7M
wakoami @wako20000.14h ... Imagine joker 2 was this 21 561 9.7K 142K
íl cavalíere @scott_bowser 14h ... And thus began the Curse of the Jabroni. R Razzball @Razzball.14h 2422 BALL No 28th ring for you RLD RIES 182 2.8K 44K 1.6M
ZCKRY. (spooky) @ZAC_IMPACT. 1d loving the mental image of Keanu tearing up while reading Shadow the Hedgehogs wiki page going Jesus... Maria was just a kid... DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm. dd Jeff Fowler says Keanu Reeves didn't just show up and read the script to voice Shadow He really wanted to create a very fan faithful version of the character. Не did research... he very clearly had gone and done his homework (Source: gamesradar.com/entertainment/...) 77 6.3K 65K 1.1M
Asad @AsadFromNYC 22h Currently in Spanish Harlem having Italian pizza made by Bengalis. Allah's Bounties are plenty for those with eyes to see. Cola 355 mL 69 968 279K 13K
mirrorball @penthouseheart + 18h IM FUCKING CRYINGGGG 27 444 24K 245K
$ Corey Harris @feathersworth4. dd Being a senior in college is so interesting. My buddy is about to propose soon and I've been playing call of duty for the last 3 hours 83 2.4K 82K 1.5M
Christian Becker @TheAmazi... 18h ... Has Major been taking the fall for him all along?! corinne_perkins @corinne... ...19h U.S. President Joe Biden bites a baby during a trick-or-treaters celebration for Halloween at the White House in Washington. Photo by @SmileltsNathan Reuters GRIS 23 800 19.3K 601K
lyssa @lyssashateblog. dd We in dem places you can't pronunce San Antonio, Texas + 29.6K 441 IO 1,695 197 10K 146K . 2.8M
fredesque @FredTaming 1d ... lol. Imao.  i hope etc. you realize setting the timer counts as part of this 15 minutes Jared Gilman @realJaredGil....1 1d i know i'm not a parent but this seems like a comically low bar to clear PARENTS WHO SPEND 15 MINUTES PER DAY WITH THEIR CHILD CAN IMPROVE THEIR HEAL TH AND WELLBEING Tuscan 12 1,441 38.4K 842K
max @fleetwoodmaxpng• 1d ... i just got this resume from a new applicant Resume $ Download - 100% 3 Reset Upload This will be my first job 2,243 9,922 327K 6.5M
Logan M. Davis @LoganMDavis 1d ... This is-not being hyperbolic here - the funniest thing ever tweeted by a political party. CO - Colorado Republican Pa... 1d Replying to @catturd2 Work with us @catturd2. We have a plan to hold her accountable but we need people like you to be successful. 18 285 3,875 162K
melden ring era @memegodmel - 1 1d ... I love when cartoon characters eat something and then assume the shape of the food they just ate luxx @LUXXINDREAMS.1 1d he's so cuuuuute 204 26.4K 479K 7.8M
AARON @lidolmix. 1d girl how do you even pronounce this number POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d A Russian court has fined Google $20,000,000,000,000,000,000,0 00,000,000,000,000 for blocking their content. 984 15.4K 322K 10.3M
t. @thandoau 1d ... i i don't know if this year was just overall an expensive year or if we aren't getting paid enough or if i'm mishandling my finances or if the inflation rates are just too high but whatever it is, it MUST never happen ever again. 49 6,923 24.2K del 570K
derek guy @dieworkwear 2h ... wrong size you DUMB ASS Why you should have a... 20h m the - A 99 612 12.3K 317K
the mind @Fredward3948576.2h ... guys, please be safe today. The monsters 94 11.4K 47.4K 604K
b @rosenstein_.16h ... AM A ARDCOM CHRISTIAN hey im omw over do u have garlic ? Can you throw it out. Also how bright is your place 47 3,653 36.4K 574K
ash @tripnf4ll.19h My cousin thinking Jr. was short for Joctor 4 225 2,639 del 70.9K

Image provided by Cracked

rock and roll photos @yesitsmy... 1d ... The Rizzler's teenage years are going to be hellishly brutal 314 1,253 105K 2.8M
trevy @chillextremist-1 16h My name jeff lol FILM UPOATES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d Channing Tatum and Zoë Kravitz have broken up after 3 years and called off their engagement, PEOPLE reports. 97 3,173 90.1K 3.1M
audrey @denniscooperfan 13h getting out of a movie and having 0 notifications is comparable to being shot in the head 76 4,335 65.7K 864K
NAH @treyfive_.11 My bro said he getting a matcha and going to Pilates ok Kourtney kardashian heard you 81 1,958 22.3K del 476K
Весса Supreme @beccasu... - 20h ... Can't believe you revealed Spider-Man's identity like this S @6thofdecember 1d my daughter really think she spiderman so when yall see her costume tomorrow just know it was requested. 71 7,077 63.5K 994K
lacey cencula @dddrop_the_la... 21h ... early voted yesterday, got my covid vaccine today... what crooked liberal radical leftist task should i do tomorrow? anyone need me to perform their child's gender affirming surgery at school or something? 363 3,816 89.6K del 1M
Daddy Whorebux @c0smicj0ke- 1d ... I've actually never done a walk of shame it's always more like ayyyy Imao 19 1,414 14.1K 300K
mrs papaw @mrsballs69.17h - They're becoming too aware r/mensfashionadvice 7h ... What are the sluttiest gray sweatpants this year? Budget $60-$75 10 40 13 85 2,889 77K
harky @theharkyp 19h ... The concept of Raya is so embarrassing... like here are a bunch of successful people who are still struggling to fuck 71 1,452 42K del 968K
ErnestBOO-rgnineGRAVE-al... . 16h ... Probably a sign your team is not in great shape when your local broadcast is showing graphics like this. GREEK MYTHOLOGY 101 WHO IS SISYPHUS? *KING OF EPHYRA, DEVIOUS TYRANT WOULD KILL VISITORS OF EPHYRA TO SHOW OFF HIS POWER, WHICH ANGERED THE GODS PUNISHMENT: ROLL A BOULDER UP A HILL, WOULD ROLL BACK DOWN EACH TIME MUST REPEAT THIS ACTION FOR ALL ETERNITY 220 8,648 89.8K 2.2M

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