30 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, October 16, 2024

The dilly dallying is mandatory
30 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, October 16, 2024

Despite appearing in Happy Gilmore and Multiplicity, there was a time when Julie Bowen didn’t find herself very funny. The actress admitted on Andy Richter’s podcast The Three Questions that she was confused by her agents sending her out for comedy auditions. She recounted telling them not to give her “those three-jokes-a-page kind of things.” But the joke’s on her — not only did she land the role of Claire Dunphy on Modern Family, but she nabbed two Emmys during the show’s 11-season run.

Meanwhile, Ariana Grande knows that she’s funny. The pop star showed off her comedy chops during her Saturday Night Live hosting gig over the weekend, and drew in nearly 5.6 million viewers — the biggest audience since Elon Musk hosted the show in May 2021. Similarly, Grande’s parody of the summer hit “Espresso” as well as a sketch featuring her Jennifer Coolidge impersonation are already among the most viewed posts on the SNL TikTok account. I guess Spirit Halloween was wrong!

The timeline, of course, also knows it’s funny, and we’re certainly thankful for the jokes they provide. Today’s funniest tweets include those involving the Mediterranean sober lifestyle, good morning messages that require a PhD and peak boyfriend behavior.

public universal friend @ada... .22h ... good morning messages il y a 3 min good morning another way of thinking F about the differential equation thing is that suppose you had an infinite dimensional vector space with basis... 64 1,195 15.4K 424K
stella @brokenbrds - 1 1d im a top im a bottom okay???? im vengeance??? i i am the night??? i'm batman?? 172 21K 125K 2M
elle @itselleokay 1d i laughed out loud Stop using anti-arthouse film language @thefilmmemes Instead of: Say: Boring Slowburn Pointless Ambiguous ending I fell asleep Dreamlike atmosphere Hard to watch Challenges you Requires multiple Confusing watches j @thefilmmemes 161 8,309 89.5K 2.6M
Mr. Chau @Srirachachau 16h ... Oweebook Hotel I like that it's unclear whether Pacino July sta 19 even knows who Shrek is. Не just loves his daughter @Discu... 18h 4F DiscussingFilm Al Pacino shows off his Shrek phone case. My youngest daughter gave me this & said 'it's Shrek dad!', I said 'Shrek? Wow... okay l'll hold onto it CC TikTok bbcnews 0:30 0 views 73 3,915 94.3K 1.8M
jay @kendallhosseini - 1 13h close enough welcome back logan roy bethany @kimwexlcrs.20h People AI Pacino Confirms Не Doesn't Live with 16 Month Old Son Roman-but Says Не 'Texts Me from Time to Time' 4 609 10.4K 235K
The Troys Are Back In Town 19h what a powerful mind Perry denied drinking. When the officer informed Perry that his speech sounded slow, Perry responded that the offcer's speech was fast. Perry refused to take a MMA Mania MA @mmama... . . 23h Mike Perry arrested and charged with DUI as it appears on Mugshots Lake County website. 91 2,228 50.3K 2.6M
race card driver @racecard_dri... 17h ... bully: hey where'd you get that skirt me: Gaytown Sportswear, Toronto STYLE 584 62 2,862 56.6K 799K
reedrolling @ReedRolling 19h ... bisexual friend is trying to convince me to go as the blonde one from challengers with him and his gf...feels like a trick 143 1,891 73.5K del 1.4M
zach °+٠٤٥ O 63 + @z444ch 16h ... i i was flirting with this guy and he looked at his friend and said help me. out loud and everything 60 168 5,990 du 169K
juju $ @ayeejuju 23h my fat ass cousin in the house S Today 4:31PM VII 42 - were Sun a T& N CHEVE SOFT A a - INIEUR SK в VISTICO 2030 - a Sun an Sun Sun Sun GOLD . 30 BAGS pana HD - 0.8 go head Delivered + iMessage 477 1,759 57.4K 1.8M
lola:) @lil_miss_idk.1 12h inventing a new lifestyle i call mediterranean sober where i don't really drink except for wine and bizarre liqueurs. and also of course there's the dilly-dallying 31 1,009 18.3K 340K
chase @_chase 17h my boyfriend will whisper bye room when we're leaving the hotel we stayed in for 1 night 554 5,453 169K 3.2M
Lucy @LucyXIV.3h ... my boyfriend has been looking at me incredulously and shaking his head because I said I've never once looked at the Wikipedia page for a battle 23 18 682 17.3K
Rob Milton @therobmilton 10h ... - me as soon as Thong Song comes on. 19 1,421 4,169 97K
Meg @megannn_lynne 17h ... Oh you're my age and you're announcing something you recently accomplished? But did you consider how that would make me, a jealous bitch, feel? 12 1,230 12K del 177K
Horace Goodwill, tonicke purv... . 1d ... In a way I think it's kind of sweet that there's a Nobel Prize for economists. It's like giving a child a fake steering wheel so they can pretend they're driving the car too 111 3,368 52.5K del 1M
Jason Goes to Hell @benedictsr... 1d ... A small group of white people is called a dollop. 43 1,155 14.1K 354K
raccoon aesthetic. @racco... .20h ... GOD IS TESTING ME AND I HAVE NOT STUDIED 23 7,166 38.8K 1.1M
Liam NissanTM @theliamnissan 17h ... Even if you found a feral child near the dumpster behind a Dairy Queen and then educated it on absolutely nothing but Dukes of Hazzard reruns and Mountain Dew nutrition facts, that child would still have a better understanding of the U.S. Constitution than Lauren fucking Boebert. 372 3,702 27.6K 302K
cameRon @madonnasoldmore 18h ... this might be the worst insult madonna has ever gotten к @doorky2.23h Replying to @iamdazon shes madonna of our generation The Secret ofu 11 368 7,478 123K
kenny/cooper mw ace ... 1d ... reverse age regression where i pretend to be 70 years old and my care taker has to sit with me and watch jeopardy 56 4,509 33.5K del 402K
Katie D @KatieDeal99.16h ... Every year on my birthday my daughter asks how old I am and then cries and tells me she doesn't want me to die so that's a fun tradition 49 167 3,963 67.8K
Noor @itsdaaboi2. 1d u ever looked at someone and be like damm you really a liar like u just don't stop 372 14.2K 52.7K del 1.5M
Omar Sakr @omarsakrpoet-17h ... My 2.5yo has taken to pointing at empty spaces in the house and saying he's going to get you, Baba and I cannot stress enough how not okay I am about this. 6 34 684 18.1K
sophie @netcapgirl . 1 16h ... oh you have an ipad kid? mine is already building dashboards that give executives deeper insight into critical business functions 25 639 8,093 del 172K
@himerinniki - 2 22h tangerine Society really is improving Men's Sexy Orange Womens Prisoner Prisoner Costume Costume Orange Top Trousers Convict... €24.99 54 9,712 93K 686K
Steven Glansberg @Stev3nGL... 20h ... Just finished my exam, you know what that means 070 ALL-ST 54 1,110 23.4K 1.1M
greg @gurreggg 21h he just said no tea, no shade ............wait a minute greg @gurreggg 22h hanging out with my republican ex army brother that doesn't know i'm gay, AMA 28 70 4,047 92.5K
T @Mad_Dad2020.1 12h We went thru my kid's iPad. My wife is upset but Latina twerk compilation has me crying tears. 152 2,114 19.9K 437K
MD @mdoogan97.10h Bloke in work fell asleep at home time yesterday, which is a regular occurrence, walked in with a 2 litre bottle of Pepsi and a couple of chocolate bars for breakfast. A real mystery as to why he can't stay awake AX VICTOR CNC DB 45 45 3,075 295K

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