41 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, October 11, 2024

I mean…they’re not…
41 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, October 11, 2024

Everybody loves John Mulaney — everybody at Netflix, that is. The Baby J comedian, who already has a lengthy history with the streamer, is expanding their joint catalog with a live variety talk show early next year. The official Netflix account simply tweeted the news followed by “THAT’S IT. That’s all we know!” but the streamer’s Chief Content Officer Bela Bejaria called Mulaney’s previous Netflix talker, Everybody’s in L.A., “bold and original and fresh and then unpredictable,” and is expecting much of the same from this latest venture

Since Mulaney isn’t interested in hosting the Oscars, the Academy is still looking for someone to take the gig. The newest plea for an emcee apparently includes a plan that’s somewhat derivative of the hostless 2020 ceremony, which would see multiple stars working together. According to Puck News, the format would include appearances, stunts and musical performances from a list of possible celebrities, including Ryan ReynoldsHugh JackmanAmy PoehlerDwayne JohnsonWill Ferrell, Cynthia Erivo and Ariana Grande. Should this plan fall through, it may be time to just hand that blank check over to Steve Martin and Martin Short.

Meanwhile, the weekend is getting off to a great start thanks to a timeline that refuses to quit. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a brutal Simon Says request, a server who isn’t exclusive and Las Vegas’ Northern Lights.

Vegetal Puppet @kuwabarbara.18h ... i'm not allowed to see the northern lights because i am spiritually warped and emotionally malformed 2 254 1,398 28K
GROUP NOCK The THIN TE robotfucker unlimited @some_... 5h ... anything i want? Pop Base @PopBase • 14h Elon Musk says Tesla's new Optimus robots can do anything you want. 153 5,006 52K 638K
nyah! @JINKIESBTCH 1d girl what's goin on with ur hot pocket jen @penandjen 1d how many times a day do u change ur underwear?? i i do 3x a day. in the morning, when i get home from work, and after i shower/before bed. is this excessive ?? 101 2,912 86.7K 2.4M
Spooky Wizard @YeWiseW... 13h ... epicsauce Follow ... my evil chalice came in but its so fucking small. goddamnit. they're going to make fun of me at the wizards circle tonight 33 3,021 47.2K 358K
Drew Landry @MrDrewLandry.2 21h ... 2 Mega 2 Lopolis The Hollywood Handle 1d Francis Ford Coppola teases his final film: The last one will be immense. 72 2,844 66.5K 1.8M
out of context dogs @cont... ...20h ... 30 4,889 24.6K 1.2M
Sam @roosterboostee 18h Getting bit by a normal spider and gaining the power of normal 7 130 1,469 31.7K
Chad Tyson @chadtyson 15h ... WDVE most of the country tonight: northern FIGHT lights vegas: VEGAS Las Vegas Locally 16h The Sphere is a giant Chicken Big Mac ad tonight 29 Bly 7 909 25.7K 700K
Jackie Memphis @Jayleejnr • 5h Traffic was crazy in the bathroom MUS JAYOR Kamala's Wave @Mesh... 6h Being late to a wfh job is comical. Because why? 16 1,743 10.7K 356K
Meg @megannn_lynne.3 3h ... Whenever someone hops on a Zoom meeting and is like Sorry I look like such a mess, haven't had my coffee! or like Please excuse the lighting! it's like....babe...l'm physically incapable of not staring at my own reflection for this entire meeting. You don't even exist to me 3 539 120K 9,471
Jenny Nicholson @JennyENic... 10h ... The guy at the drive thru complimented my kirby headrests and said My friend was just telling me as a kid he ate meatballs 'Kirby style.' But that story had a scary ending I was like Oh no, he choked on a meatball? No, he said he saw a shadowman 49 756 13.4K del 321K
scary spice @denpawing 1d Let's getting started and here!! - Black Peas 12:22 . 02/03/23 - 224 Views 10 916 9,655 265K
rock and roll photos @yesitsmy... 1d ... If I ever made a Faustian bargain I would probably find a way out of it when it was time to hold up my end 2 92 839 33.2K
BJ. @coenobyte 1d ... My bf is an Al chat bot Today 11:04 AM Do you like candles Read 11:08 AM They smell nice! 3 1,215 65.2K 877K
Chris @GawkingGeek 17h ... the northern lights are incredible 280 13K 155K 2.8M
Isabel Steckel @IsabelStec... 16h ... i sent my sister a picture of the outfit i wore to a party last night 8:43 .II 5G LS Lily > What was the theme no theme Delivered 14 297 26.3K 465K
Father John Misty @fatherjohn...' .1d ... I was supposed to tell a publication about 11 things once. I couldn't think of anything. Some time later I did or said some embarrassing thing and the writer assigned to the piece, smelling blood, came on here and said this is the guy. The guy who only likes Gatorade. 41 99 2,230 del 165K
starsleeps @starsleeps 1d ... why does this look like it takes place in the same universe as sharkboy and lavagirl 2000s @PopCulture200....2d 23 years ago, linkin park released 'in the end' cc even know I wasted it all just to watch you go 641 25K 364K 5.9M
seb @froggings 23h am i close seb @froggings 23h been in the bathroom for 20 minutes trying to do the mr beast smile 716 6,336 215K 3.6M
evan @rainstormblue 1d if landlords opened a restaurant alx @alxoh0lic. 1d Dinner is servedddd 121 4,217 114K del 2.4M
xavier @nahimdifferent.1 15h i i was gonna tip but i saw u laughing W that other table im sure they got u 33 2,558 37.6K del 675K
Mandalynns23 @mandalynns23.1 1d ... We told my 4yr old I was pregnant and she was NOT happy about it. After she cried in her bed she came downstairs hands on hips and asked in the most accusatory tone And where exactly is this new baby gonna sleep? like we were two teens who hadn't thought this pregnancy through 1,160 14K 369K 7.4M
melissita @mcdonaldscult - 19h ... Reply to cool's comment you have the low income white girl eyes + 75 ... 4 1 74 1,510 46.5K 1.1M
Jack Bensinger @JackBensinger 17h ... kept my mouth shut on this for a while. These are not scissors 174 1,634 53.6K 1M
Dr. Samantha Montano @Sa... 17h ... Not my parents taking this opportunity to photograph their giant skeleton. 98 3,367 81.4K 784K
Queen Iseabail, the Sassy L... 1d ... This is still one of my favourite things on the internet A Pole goes to an ophthalmologist. The doctor shows him: CZJWINOSTAWCZ - Can you read this? -Read? I know this guy! S Photo Editor 986 172 comments 3 shares Like Comment Czjwinostawcz Chrabaszcz I really don't find this funny. 355 8,586 137K 4.9M
Jamie @spacej_me 21h ... someone left their corn in the women's bathroom at Dulles International Airport 161 949 14.4K 2M

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Zonnique @Zonnique - 23h ... driving and conversing in the car with my child then she says simon says just drive don't talk gagged tf out of me 451 6,682 115K 1.9M
Brazy! @emogangbanger-1 17h ... once u got me checking my phone to see if you replied that's how i iknow it's time to k*II myself 82 7,249 37.9K 579K
garfield super fan @lesbiancarl... 1 1d ... fuck it, unsilences your hills IGN @IGN.2d Silent Hill 2 Remake mods can remove all the fog and make the town bright and welcoming. bit.ly/481vLjU Park 125 14.7K 168K 2.8M

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Charles Bramesco @intothecre... 3h ... This reads like someone making a pretty good joke about streaming content FILM UPOATES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d 'NOBODY WANTS THIS' has been renewed for Season 2 at Netflix. 8 543 10.8K 230K

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Ruby @Personhavingfun - 23h ... Telling someone i cant hang out because i want to be alone and it feels like i just shot them 14 2,445 15K 215K
thomas violence @thomas_vio... 13h ... a lot of insane comments in the replies from weirdos who have never had a proper steamed flank on spaghetti water lil piss baby @11kmrn 1d dinner 22 173 5,806 174K
happy @thinkcentres• 17h ... tried to take a pic of the northern lights at my house and ended up just recreating that one american football album cover on accident 71 2,129 43.6K 484K
Bilbro Braggins (parody) 22h I think I found the clitortoise 39 1,308 20.6K 578K
not pel @pelisahh· 16h my godddd he has a test tomorrow he needs to study Antidepressant Content 1d The cat entered the library late at night CC 0:04 78 20.1K 146K 3.3M
maddie, hot dog enthusiast @... 5h ... Yesterday I said to my kindergarteners alright my little noodles and one of my boys whispered to himself in wonder I'm spaghetti? 6 91 2,647 32.5K
Dolly D @thevivianbanks.20h ... When I am president...color contacts will be banned. You've been advised. 66 3,626 18.7K 378K
Jack @HoeannaNewsom. .20h When a recipe calls for unsalted butter it's like...girl it's not that serious 45 846 15.7K 267K

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@jaboukie. 1h i moved out of the city and im so much happier love that for you but i need see a 1970s arthouse film at 2:30pm on a wednesday in theater with 15 unemployed strangers or i will die 13 1,080 9,181 193K

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KR DonkusMan @poondonkus. 1d no earthquake (MAX think... 1d we need to figure out how the image of three children in a trenchcoat passing as an adult-something which has never happened-entere... 13 1,967 25.4K 328K

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