34 Funny Insults That Don’t Sound Like Insults

‘I hope someone names a child after you’
34 Funny Insults That Don’t Sound Like Insults

The worst thing someone can do while insulting you is make you think. While it’s preferable to not be insulted at all, you have to appreciate more straightforward fare like “You’re an idiot” over “You’re at the top of the bell curve,” because the mere act of taking out your phone to google “what is a bell curve?” only proves their point. 

On that note, Redditors have revealed their favorite insults to lob when they want to force their victims to think things over, including quite a few you can use on that coworker you hate. 

ahjteam e 1y ago o That's nice dear aka the granny version of cool story bro + 196 ...
 E 1y ago I was hoping for a battle of wits .... But you appear to be disarmed. + 270 ...
TheyCallMeChunky . 1y ago You're all spare parts bud + 206 ...
Sikte E 1y ago I admire a man that can draw so deep from such a shallow well of wit. 344 ...
WeirdIndependent1656 1y ago I'm certain you tried your best. 539 ...
Warlitz . 1y ago There is beauty in simplicity, and you are truly beautiful 827 ...
Shatter4468 1y ago You constantly find ways to surprise me. (Sounds very much like a compliment but can easily be an insult) 588 ...
New_Trick_8795 . 1y ago Idk why but hitting people with a really dry Good talk. Does the job real wells 886 ...
llikepancakes87 . 9mo ago You are exactly as smart as you look. Share 33 ...
Orleron . 9mo ago I wish there were 100 people like you, but there are a thousand. 39 Share ...
OneQuadrillionOwls 1y ago I once listened to a relative-in-law go off for quite a bit of time on some far-right conspiracy mongering tangent about all the research she'd been doing, which no one asked for. After she finished and there was a pause I said, well, the important thing is that you're having a good time. 954 ...
WillSoggy E 9mo ago Well you are sharp as a pound of wet leather. 30 Share ...
dma1965 9mo ago It seems like your life is less about goal achievement and more about regret management. + 207 Share ...
Remarkable-Cup-7074 . 9mo ago In the words of my 95 year old grandfather, he's got enough steam to blow the whistle, but not enough to pull the train Or my personal favorite: that boy's as lost as last year's Easter eggs 169 Share ...
Radkin069 9mo ago I have neither the time nor the crayons to explain this to you + 2.6K Share ...
CaptainTime5556 9mo ago I used this one at a roast of my ex-boss when he was transferring departments: The respect and leadership you've shown our team simply cannot be stated. + 1.2K Share ...
N-y-s-s-a . 9mo ago You're a few trees short of a forest, aren't you + 257 Share ...
leflamme14 . 9mo ago Is your head just ornamental? + 569 Share ...
junkeee999 1y ago Just give a normal compliment, but begin it with, I don't care what anyone says... It's an simultaneous compliment and blow to their self confidence. 4 ...
Umpire . 1y ago You sir, are a cult of 1. 2 ...
OzmaTheGreat e 9mo ago I envy people that haven't met you. + 851 Share ...
DRhexagon . 1y ago I'd agree with you but then we'd both be wrong 10 ...
whyunoletmepost . 1y ago I wish I had the confidence to wear that. + 1.6K ...
cafwen 1y ago I will give your suggestion all of the consideration which it deserves. i-) + 2.5K ...
curvyinfiltration36 ОР . 1y ago My personal favourite? Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster. + 3.7K ...
chriswaco 1y ago There's a Yiddish one: I hope someone names a child after you. It sounds nice until you realize that Jews don't name children after living relatives. + 12K ...
DefiantEmpoleon . 1y ago It's a good thing you're pretty. + 1.9K ...
Astramancer_ 1y ago I hope the rest of your day is as pleasant as you are. + 12K ...
kolarisk . 1y ago You're at the top of the bell-curve + 12K ...
Unknownkowalski e 1y ago From the movie Spanglish Maybe your low self esteem is just common sense. + 4.7K ...
FelixCulpa01 . 1y ago It's impressive how you manage to stay so confident. + 41K ...
Elbonio 1y ago I once made a moderately humourous remark among some friends and one person said to me: That's the funniest thing you've ever said I think they meant well but it really was quite the burn. + 11K ...
Library_Easy . 1y ago . Edited 1y ago it's hard to underestimate you + 15K ...
lendergle . 1y ago On a letter of recommendation: I would gladly recommend this employee to another manager. 208 ...

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