57 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of September 16, 2024

That’s the Trichinosis talking
57 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of September 16, 2024

There was a time when being in a blockbuster film could turn hard-working actors into global phenomenons, which is why David Schwimmer has some regrets. The Friends star was a guest on Origins with Cush Jumbo, and admitted that his decision to withdraw from Men in Black probably wasn’t among his best, and that the film could’ve made him a movie star. While Schwimmer used the film’s success to support his claim, he neglected to acknowledge that Will Smith taking his place is likely what led to the out-of-this-world box office. 

The timeline, of course, wasted no time making that fact very clear to him, letting Schwimmer know that he shouldn’t have any regrets, because Ross Geller could never “make this look good.” 

Schwimmer was far from the only person feeling the heat this week, though. Other digital burn victims included the actress doing yet another streaming show, the wig that could amplify your voice and the very plain state of corporate rebranding.

YFK @YourFriendKyle_.2 2d This is genuinely more gay than being married to another man kaleb @reebelleeous.3d you see this happening at the store wyd first TALIA ACA PLA - - - 858 12K 12M 277K
Yotes Vs Everyone @YotesVsEveryone 6d They kind of look like the uni's the villain team in a sports movie would wear Brian Schnee @brian_schnee 6d Those new @utahhockeyclub sweaters in full display! 49 CCM 0:15 73 5K 132 252K
Harlo @ultraviolet_end . 2 2d I can. That shit looked like it was made out of microphone J*jo S*wa is 40 years old @arieella_ .2d I can't believe this was a wig People MOA MOITART2IHIMOA ALTER - my 2301770 ٢٥١ GIF ALT 4.1K 43K 139 1M
Sasha @sashashefierce • 2d Genetics are crazy because he looks like a turtle and she looks near perfect POP CRAVE @PopCrave. 3d Pop Crave Billie Eilish and Finneas endorse Kamala Harris in a new video. 0:32 6.6K 1.4K 210K 9.5M
alexa la cerva @diegoIunas.4d why is he the same color as the background DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm .4d Jeremy Allen White's acceptance speech for his second Emmy win. See the full winners list: bit.ly/EmmyWins24 LIVE Lead Actor-Comedy Series JEREMY ALLEN WHITE The Bear 513K 1.1K 22K 13M
Harry @hdwmovies. 10h ... Ahsoka was a major step forward in the industry, being the first tv show to have a blind cinematographer kat @kyber_kat. 1d one year ago today, we found ezra bridger x 47 451 15K 449K
clintoris @clintoris 4d ... Whole group chat moved in together except for me so now they stop responding when they're home and can just talk to each other irl and I'm just like HEIN 190 3K 154K 2M
Agita Christie @pagan_hoetry• 5d Laura Loomer won't see your mean posts about her appearance but your friends who look like yassified Jigsaw will 41 2K 34K 709K
ash @prcviderr 4d ... we fosho wasn't donnie @xonationz 4d YALL WASNT THERE LIKE WAS Danger FORCE 291 5.5K 98K 1.8M
Saqeezy @saweezo 5d Swear he used to have a jaw Ca Va? @psg__chief -5 5d We need to start a conversation about Messi's barber A 6 &$!#% 415 2.7K 154K 9.6M
Ryanair @Ryanair 4d no Хоутро Aпó MIKPÓ @spyrakos01.4d @Ryanair . after this shot I think I deserve some free tickets Corfu , Pontikonisi R GRYA Galaxy A53 5G 1.5K 6K 153K 7.9M
ash! @spaceashes 5d broke ass had to pirate recycle bin abby she/they/it lipettle #1 shipper #11... . 5d confession/// everything here is pirated H VR OSU! J MyFone 10 Vision Corel Mega Hack asulliazer RetroArch BlueStacks Proklemon TunnelBear CapCuz Steam TOKY Para Fram VokBox Photo V. DESIGNER for University f Google Play Corel Font XVL Studio VMware Sonic Audacity Total Minesraft Paper Mano Getter Kon DELLARUNE ToolBox Games peta Generaso Manager 2 Carel Edi Workstat security The Thous you'se adidas 7z Driver ChessCraft The Murder Xenoverse Olympus imomna Google BlueStacks Pokemon Nooepad.ne Pinnacle Opera Wondersi Booster Demo of Sonic L Cirome TCG uve
j @UranosKing 4d deport her ass omgg @PopBase.4 4d Pop Base 'Emily In Paris' has been renewed for Season 5. A NETFLIX SERIES EMILY IN PARIS 130 5.5K 110K 3.2M
a girl @buggirl29.3 3d ... She needs a wellness check How r u Read Yesterday Today 10:42 AM Who dat who dat I-G-G-Y 210 5.9K 101K 1.9M
cat @catwthewires 4d europeans do this and still get mad when americans don't know where goopenshittenberg is Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps. 5d Map of the USA showing what Europeans consider to be the 'South' WA VT ME MT ND OR MN NH ID NY WI SD MA WY CT MI RI PA IA NJ NE NV OH DE IN IL UT WV CO MD CA VA KS MO DC KY NC TN OK AZ SC NM AR AL GA MS TX LA The South AK FL HI 946 14K 253K 11M
@NJGov3 3d New Jersey ANADA ALBANY n g N E W YORK Lake Erie © autauqua Lake Erie Alleghery Reservoir alamy Susquehanna River a a UcspnH Delaware Allegheny R lamy Scranton Rouge Williamsport Wilkes-Barre Wallenpakpack New Castle HIO alamy PENNSYLVANIA Easton State Bethlehem New College NEW Allentown Pittsburgh Altoona O JERSEY Reading Bethel Park Monongahota River HARRISBURG Bank TRENTON Levittown Norristown Lancaster Ohio Susquehan Philadelphia York River ala Chestero a Potomac R MARYLAND WEST VIRGINIA DEL. ATLAN VA DOVER Creepy.org @creepydotorg•9 9/12/24 If Disneyland is the happiest place on Earth, where do you think is the saddest place on earth? 5.9M 1.8K 7.7K 96K
catalina @fiImaker. 3d She has to remind her fans to wake up before 9 am POP CRAVE @PopCrave. 3d Pop Crave Charli XCX tells fans to set their alarms for tomorrow at 9 am EST. 360_brat charli XCX Coming september 17, 9am est POP Liked by terrencefoconnor and 22,382 others 360 brat set - CRAV 917 45K 1.3M
- @leftistexe 3d .. X From Create Mode > | will love and accept whoever my child brings home... as long as there's only ONE of them!!!! #Polyphobic 326 18K 249K 4.5M
P @BAULAPARRANTES. 3d ... 68 : BULLES 90 90 9 9 LO F=ESPN 1-1 22 ELI TON 21 1-1 FINAL TRADITIONAL TELECAST AVAILABLE ON ESPN kyle @knickstape99-9/25/23 Funniest shit during nfl games is when they cut to fans in crowd and it's fully grown men dressed in the dumbest outfits imaginable 139 10K 199K 4.5M
@daniposting 3d She flopped for having an ugly name Letícia @yxakirves - 5d leighton meester for ym magazine, 2001 NO LIFEGU ON DUT 54 255 10K 398K
1N3KO @1N3K0.2d atlanta is DOOMED G. Globe Eye News @GlobeEyeNews.3d BREAKING: Georgia officially bans LGBT propaganda, same-sex marriage, and gender reassignment surgery. 670 9.6K 201K 6.1M
John Ganz @lionel_trolling 3d ... its really amazing how poly people managed to make having sex with a bunch of people uncool 136 2.8K 74K 2.1M
sarah forever @beetsforever 3d ... saw the most divorced car in the world today Huel® Huel® TEXAS VLC-7585 153 1.6K 43K 1M
Dígame Concejal @RSGAT 5d This shit looks like I should be able to select a raspberry fanta. Jessica Ray @jessicaray0. 6d CarPlay looks interesting on the new Mini Countryman's circular display SPEED LIMIT O P FUEL 25 POWER 272 mi mph D 3 Messages Maps Music Phone News Podcasts MINI Now Playing OFF all 5G OFF SYNC AUTO OFF 73 °F PARK 11:09 am EXPERIENCES ENGINE R N P REAR D/L m MAX m 574 31K 517K 14M
Ghost City Press @GhostCityPress 1d GHOST CITY DO NOT tell the poets PRESS Pop Base @PopBase.2 2d Earth is set to temporarily obtain another moon on September 29th. The asteroid known as a 'mini-moon' is expected to make a single orbit journey around Earth, ending on November 25th. 26 502 3.7K 118K
malcoholic @lepetitereboot. 21h MEN WORKING Kay @KaylarWill. 1d Ladies what's yall fav sign for a man? I wanna know! 56 3.8K 12K 506K
Future Winfrey @CaressLepore 2d They look like people dressed up as Wendy and Charlemagne SinnamonSCouture @SinnamonCouture. 2d Wendy and Charlemagne were truly a moment! Whew you can tell that they had a time!!!!! DED bee G Con 1949 432 10K 92K 2.7M
Elai @elaifresh . 3d Bay Area-ass survey categories Imao What is your annual household income?* Under $75,000 $75,000 - $149,999 $150,000 - $224,999 $225,000 - $299,999 $300,000 - $374,999 $375,000+ 27 656 41K 636K
Peter Raleigh @PetreRaleigh 1d ... Truly no offense to him but this is like learning that the role played by Antonio Banderas in The Mask of Zorro was originally offered to, say, David Schwimmer V Variety @Variety - 1d David Schwimmer Says Rejecting 'Men in Black' Offer Was a 'Brutal Decision' and It 'Would've Made Me a Movie Star'; Не Chose to Direct a Film Instead variety.com/2024/film/news... 57 1.1K 22K 885K
@PEACHYBLACKG0RL 3d they should add this mohawk to the charges Tev @TevRebranded . 3d 34 years old x.com/el_budget/stat... 1.2K 21K 165K del 7.7M
Nick @n_c_l.2d sorry for going nonverbal a boring person was dominating the conversation and | was envisioning myself elsewhere 2 420 4.2K dJ 120K
Carter (Chilling) @Absurdosic 3d There is no greater kiss of death for a NFL team than a fat comedian showing up to their home games NFL @NFL. 3d NFL Shane Gillis in the building for the @Eagles home opener EAGI IGLES W WHY YC S SOMETH NEVER D 39 1.3K 76K 11
big content guy @bigcontentguy . 1d ... i'd smoke Moo Deng for 12 hours like a brisket 19 325 3.3K 40K 2.5M
@katehasinsomnia•2 2d it's like trying to communicate with a kindergartner 10:58 LTE zzz Tanner < NEW TANNER Why are your boobs big ME i i keep riddles inside of them 358 7.1K 196K 5.4M
Youngmi MAYER @ymmayer 2d this person is white australian and white australian food is so bad that no one even knows what it is. outback had to invent a deep fried onion Dr. Sydney Watson @SydneyLWats... - 17h ... It really, really isn't. Jeff @_FlipMan . dd Indian food is the best on earth. Fight me. 3.9K 2.1K 53K del 6.2M Dr. Sydney Watson @SydneyLWats... 17h .. If your food requires you to put dirt spices all over it in order for it to be palatable, your food is not good. 1.8K 1.5K 4.2K 4.5M 919 6K 116K 2.7M
no @plznoah 3d ... idk about you guys but i'm super excited to see katy perry for $25 on her next tour POP FLOP Pop Flop @PopFlopHQ.3d Katy Perry's new album 143 drops in 4 days. -There is currently no hype for the album. 99 493 15K 815K
Lxl Awacc @comptonasstre 3d i'm not settling down W nobody named Gretchen. i'm sorry IlyDari @ilydari0z . 4 4d Just wait til i settle down Gretchen 995 4.9K 54K 2.9M
multitude container @lllliatttt .2d ... sorry if i've been a bit offline; a few days ago i suffered a severe clintonian reaction to seeing a male friend's living quarters for the first time 107 2.7K 108K 2.3M
Alex @allowedtohit.2 2d what a powerful quote IGN @IGN.2d You can do anything you want. You're Joker. Check out this brand new trailer for Joker: Folie à Deux: bit.ly/3XLMvrl 58 501 523K 15K
MAUD @MAUD_IFY.2d r u serious Wifi in de trein Mobile data Post char @char_bun dutch people are like stop making fun of us!!!! and then U go there and you're riding the train to your friends house and your phone is like there is 1 open network: wifi in de trein char @char_bun . 2 2d dutch people are like stop making fun of us!!!! and then u go there and you're riding the train to your friends house and your phone is like there is 1 open network: wifi in de trein x.com/char_bun/statu... 6.6K 96K 1.3M 47
harrison @HarrisonQuinnO . 1d Nicole Kidman 23 mins 1 like and I'll do another streaming show Like Comment Share Nicole likes this. Nicole Kidmanok Like Reply 2 23 mins Write a comment... IndieWire IndieWire @IndieWire 1d Oscar and Emmy-winning stars Nicole Kidman and Jamie Lee Curtis are expanding their respective TV empires.... Nicole Kidman BREAKING NEWS and Jamie Lee Curtis Cast as Sisters in 'Scarpetta' Prime Video Series from Blumhouse IndieWire 353 1 5.4K 225K
Mik | Designer + Strategist @OkSoMik 1d This is Twitter in a nutshell because did I ask? The Jolly Olly Ma'am @HolaCarmitooo. 1d coworker: what did you get for lunch? me: soup coworker: I hate soup me: I don't?? GIF ALT 120 25K 5.1M 276K
Sherman McCoy @wasphyxiation - 1d Putting this on my Volkswagen David F. @NJGuitarBoy . 4d Replying to @elonmusk This sums it up. Bought it before we knew how awful he is. 477 9K 247K 7.8M
buldak horseman @phildonephy· 1d literally changed people's lives by teaching them to be kinder and better. not me. but many others. Pop Base @PopBase. 1d 'The Good Place' premiered 8 years ago today. Welcome! YOCURT YOGURTE Everything is fine. 137 14K 145K 3.8M
Mano @ManoReborn 2d It's not worth 44 billion anymore cause of you LMFAO Elon Musk (Parody) @ElonMuskAOC 2d Sorry Mark your card got declined I bought X for $44B. You're 39 Billion dollars short. x.com/DramaAlert/sta... F PROFILE Mark Cuban Owner, Dallas Mavericks Real Time Net Worth $5.7B as of 9/17/24 #557 in the world today 8.4M 4.8K 15K 365K
aLec robBins @alecrobbins - 1d ... you gotta separate the art from the artist. like, for example, sometimes the artist is really nice but their art sucks 151 4.6K 66K del 1M
9 @earthdistance 1d Semamaque I seriously hope these aren't gift horses i have nitrous @NotTramBraxton 2d Look at these baby horsies getting their first teeth 256K 211 6.3K 94K 4.1M
Nicolas_Dream @afraidofwasps 1d Long day at work, let me decompress by logging on and reading racist tweets by some guy named Wrath of Odysseus 7 510 6.9K 161K
teddy v 2.0 @teddyvalenzuela 2d Just found a vans sticker that got the landlord special. Can't believe this one didn't make it off the wall first 60 3.4K 1.1M 101K
i make beats t @DonDadaNYC. 1d ... Tshego what waist m @_tshego_m . 2d Raw bacon is so good! 282 25K 370K 11M
John DiLillo @JohnDiLillo 1d ... I do think it's funny to talk about other indie distributors the way people on here talk about A24. you KNOW it's gonna hit when you see that bleecker street logo! things of that nature 72 192 2.8K del 117K
chloe @ChloeNumberIII. 20h Don't disrespect your elders. aya @ayasfilms 1d these 2 pics had the longest run in film twt 47 1.5K 47K 955K
slommy @sammichluvrrr 1d CC when I was 10 someone said that jess @jessdee040.1d came out to this idiot parked right on my car so i left them a note slenderman style You PARK LIKE A BITCH 39 3.4K 68K del 2.1M
alexis @unconfide 1d I DO NOT FW CYBERTRUCKS OR POLYAMOROUS PEOPLE!!!! BOTH so UNNECESSARILY BIG AND GREEDY 75 8.1K 94K 1.8M
Papi Tré @Tremaynee_ 1d I picked my nephew up from daycare today, Mind you, he's biracial but looks like a white kid. They asked him if he knew who I was and why did this man look me dead in my face and say he didn't know me... Had them people ready to call the cops on me. 1.6K 12K 230K 5.4M
Kathleen @kathleenkatkath 2 20h ... Pontius Pilate: Benny @SlippinBenny 20h Jesus SUCKS get him off the field 5 254 2.7K 182K
Tim Urban @waitbutwhy 1d Graphic designers now just open a blank document, make the font size 80, type the company name, and that's the logo. @TrungTPhan 1d Trung Phan $ PayPal's bland logo redesign was inevitable x.com/ dexerto/status... Google Google Microsoft Microsoft airbnb airbnb Spotify Spotify® Pinterest Pinterest ebay ebay 1.2K 279K 27K 8.1M

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