35 of the Funniest, Wisest or Weirdest Rules People Live By

Such an ability to survive must be respected
35 of the Funniest, Wisest or Weirdest Rules People Live By

Feeling indecisive at a restaurant? Pick the entree named after the joint, it’s highly unlikely that they’d lend their name to a bad dish. Or trying to break a streak of bad luck? Go out and do something nice for someone else. 

While these rules aren’t hard and fast, they are the funny, wise and sometimes weird ones that the Redditors below live by. Some might genuinely change your outlook on life, a few are truly unhinged and others you might be doing unconsciously already. 

Go ahead and check what volume your TV is set to and report back.

 9y ago I follow the sleep-sex mentality when it comes to my bed. I only get in my bed to sleep at night or to have sex. Hell, I don't even nap on my bed, I do that on the couch. Only exception I have is low-key pre- sleep things, like reading. 16 ...
Owny_McOwnerton 9y ago I will never buy a car that is older than the one I am currently driving. With the exception of classic cars. 22 ...
chivasboy1079 9y ago I know I am late to the party but... Never fight anybody with more facial hair than you. 35 ...
dolan313 . 9y ago M&M's are eaten yellow-blue-red-brown-green- orange. + 56 ...
copenhagenfive 9y ago I will never eat the last of anything we have. I worry that maybe someone else was looking forward to having it and then would be disappointed when they get home because I ate it. 72 ...
IndeedDT . 9y ago Whenever driving by a cemetery or a funeral procession, I always turn the car radio off to show respect. 77 ...
Maxmanta e 9y ago Always eat the strawberry starburst last. + 134 ...
fa53 9y ago Never divorce the salt from the pepper Also, never divorce the iPhone charging cube from the iPhone charging cable. + 152 ...
robertdowneyjrjr e 9y ago I don't start peeing (or pooping) until I have toilet paper in my hand. + 185 ...
rdt156 e 9y ago . Edited 9y ago I hate to eat lunch before noon or dinner before 6pm. + 207 ...
LifeUplnTheSky 9y ago Always leave a restroom cleaner than when you came. This little rule of mine has turned me into a sort of vigilante janitor. Little messes add up to big messes so this keeps em in check 237 ...
CAN_ONLY_ODD . 9y ago Don't sample beer. Just commit and order a pint. I don't think the first sip is representative of the entire beer. And since beer is an acquired taste anyway, this has helped me broaden my beer- horizons + 250 ...
Yours_and_mind_balls 9y ago Always try everything TWICE. If you try something once and you either hate or love it, there's a good chance, in my opinion, that the judgement was mostly derived from novelty of the experience. Thus trying things again, you can more experience things as they really are. 280 ...
NexusMav 9y ago No Zero days. Don't feel like working out today, then just do a few sit ups instead. Trying to write a book, just write one or two lines a day. Instead of not doing X, just do the bare minimum. If it's important, you'll end up pushing yourself to do more anyway. + 316 ...
 9y ago . Edited 9y ago I always keep my popcorn until the movie actually starts. I always see fools who start eating during the trailers and are half done by the time the film starts, and I laugh with my mouth full of popcorn
thebugswillbite 0 9y ago Never waste a boner, never trust a fart. + 393 ...
ali_cat . 9y ago Always thank the bus driver. Always. 439 ...
 9y ago . Edited 9y ago Go for a run first thing every morning. You get your workout done early and the whole day is free. No dreading it, no worrying about fitting in time for it. It's just done. It wakes you up, makes you feel insanely productive all day, and just sets a great tone for the day. I've gotten to the point where I have a hard time functioning without my morning 10 miler. + 534 ...
couldwouldashoulda e 9y ago If I try to kill an insect twice and it is still alive, I let it live. Unless I need to make a mercy killing. + 556 ...
 9y ago Never pay less than a dollar for a hotdog + 561 ...
pizzak 9y ago When it comes to movies I don't listen to reviews. If I like a movie I like it. If I don't i don't. Some of my friends will be like, I'd rather see X than y because it has better reviews. Bitch I want to see that movie because it has awesome sifi or something. + 599 ...
daaanish e 9y ago I never ask someone to do something I couldn't conceivably do myself ,unless I can compensate them for it financially. + 607 ...
jerica_jem 9y ago when i get a new magazine, i go through the whole thing and take out all the postcards and rip out any of the perfume pages before i start reading so i'm not interrupted by a falling piece of cardstock. 625 ...
Moghlannak . 9y ago . Edited 9y ago Eat when you're hungry, sleep when you're tired. None of this societal meal times and sleep times crap. 799 ...
ASAP_SCRAFTY - 9y ago Things are only as awkward as you make them. I try to make every situation as comfortable for everyone as possible. 811 ...
LoneWolfComando 9y ago I don't trust companies with yellow logos. Sprint, Best Buy, Hertz, Shell etc. Red and Blue are much more trustworthy. Don't ask me why. + 1.3K ...
apk86 9y ago The volume setting MUST be at a level that is either an even number or divisible by five. + 1.4K ...
arse_burgers . 9y ago Always choose the stairs. + 2.3K ...
Underscore_Talagan . 9y ago . Edited 9y ago Always park in the farthest available parking space. Never have to fight for parking and it's not gonna kill me to walk.
PM_ME_UR_BOOKSHELVES 9y ago . Edited 9y ago I follow this 2/3 rule when I get ready in the morning for my hair, makeup, and outfit. So for example if I just want to throw my hair in a messy bun, I have to have a cute outfit on and do my makeup nicely.
ambiveillant 9y ago Edited 9y ago Principle of Least Regret. When making a choice, asking myself which option would I be more likely to regret not taking down the road. This tends to push me to try new things, to act rather than to observe passively, and to engage more with the world. + 3.1K ...
seriouswill с 9y ago . Edited 9y ago When something bad happens to you, go out and do a random nice thing for someone.
TheVitrifier e 9y ago If a restaurant has an item on the menu named after the restaurant, that's what I'm ordering. You don't put your restaurant's name on a shitty dish. + 524 ...
vegetarianrobots 9y ago Whenever I'm mad or frustrated at a loved one, friend, or dog (usually the dog) I think of the eventual day when they're gone and all I want is one more day with them. Also never pass up a chance to pee. + 2.4K ...
thegreatgoombah 9y ago I have a rule of 3 when people ask me to do things with them. I can decline twice, but the third time I'm invited to something I have to go regardless of interest. + 1.4K ...

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