21 Movies With Protagonists Who Aren’t Dumbasses

‘SNL’ Gave the ‘Seinfeld’ Finale the Perfect Follow-Up

Comedian Accuses Ricky Gervais of Bullying Him on Tour

That Time Big Bird Almost Blew Up on Live Television

31 Highly Cringeworthy Moments of Secondhand Embarrassment

40 Random Bits of Trivia We Juiced Out of the Brain of the Smartest Guy in Our Office

It did hurt, but he agreed it was worth it

40 Random Bits of Trivia We Juiced Out of the Brain of the Smartest Guy in Our Office

September 15, 2024

The dude was hoarding all this knowledge about Bob Saget. We set it free.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

40

Warner Bros. Entertainment was established in 1923 - WD ST XIXIXIXIX less than one year before the fall of the Ottoman Empire. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Source

39

Uma Thurman

Uma Thurman just hated her yellow tracksuit in Kill Bill, said Tarantino. Apparently, she thought it made her look like a banana popsicle. She finally sort of came around when he showed her Bruce Lee in Game of Death. CRACKED.COM — Source: 15 Big-Name Actors Who Hate Their Famous Roles

38

Madonna

CELEBRITIES that tried stand-up MADONNA alienated her audience. Jimmy Fallon had Madonna on The Tonight Show doing stand-up, and although the crowd was initially excited, they soon quieted after multiple bits about her collection of Picassos and Warhols. CRACKED — Ovidiu Hrubaru/Shutterstock
Houston Chronicle/YouTube

37

His classics are passed down generation to generation.

CRACKED DR. SEUSS' SALES AREN'T SLOWING DOWN. THE CAT IN THE HAT His estate was worth $75 million when he died in 1991, and since then, the movies based on his books, the books themselves, and merchandise earn him anywhere from 9 to 33 million dollars per year. — Celebrity Net Worth / NPR

36

SHOE STORIES CRACKED.COM SNEAKERS GOT NAMED IN THE 1800s AS SNEAKS. CONVERSE ALL STAR سمد THE RUBBER-SOLED SNEAKS LET PEOPLE WALK QUIETLY, UNLIKE ALL OTHER SHOES AND BOOTS OF THE TIME. — Source

35

The Plow King gets a helping hand from LINDA RONSTADT CRACKED.COM When the snow starts a-fallin', there's a man you should be callin', that's KL5-4796, let it ring! Mr. Plow is a loser, and I think he is a boozer, so you better make that call to the Plow King! — Genius

34

The Mars Climate Orbiter went kaputt because the ground control software used imperial units instead of metric ones.

CRACKED The Mars Climate Orbiter was lost when it burned up in the Martian atmosphere due to a software error. The ground control software supplied by Lockheed Martin used imperial units instead of metric ones, resulting in the orbiter being off course and eventually meeting its demise. — Bugsnag / Cornell

33

How much money could a dumb Jason Statham shark movie, panned by both audiences and critics, possibly make? THE TOMATOMETER ? AUDIENCE SCORE ? MEG 46% 45% liked it The answer is a reasonable $145 million... However we live in an unreasonable world and those are actually just the U.S. numbers. It grossed an insane $530 million worldwide. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

CRACKED.COM THE POLIC LEGO MOVIE The movie caused a 15% worldwide increase in Lego sales. The year the film was released, Lego sold 62 billion Lego elements. That would equate to 102 Lego bricks per living person. — Source

31

He-Man was a toy before it was a TV show. When trying to sell the toy a Mattel sales rep told distributors a TV show was in the works- which was a lie. However, the lie sold the toy- forcing Mattel to create a TV show around the action figure. CRACKED.COM — Source: He-Man.org

30

Katmai National Park in Alaska crowns the fattest brown bear every year. Fat Bear Week aims to highlight the park and wildlife conservation and compares photos of bears from the spring to photos of the same bears at the end of summer. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

29

Alfonso Cuaron

Alfonso Cuarón doesn't like the auteur theory. The auteur theory is the idea that the director is the author and primary creative force behind a movie. Cuarón says he doesn't buy into it. The auteur theory manifested from a certain snobbery of the 50s and 60s that I don't think I'm particularly in need of. It's a need to differentiate between 'real filmmakers' with a point of view and 'hacks' that can do plate films and entertaining films but don't provide a unity of cinematic elements. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Directors And The Things They Hate

28

Winona Ryder was rejected by a casting director who told her she wasn't pretty enough to be an actress.

Winona Ryder faced some rough rejection in her early days of acting. She was told by a casting director that she wasn't pretty enough to be an actress and should go back to school. CRACKED.COM — Tampa Bay / The Famous People

27

Believe it or not, Socrates had a marked distrust of writing, fearing it would cause forgetfulness and only a semblance of wisdom. According to him, readers would have learned nothing and they will be tiresome company. CRACKED.COM — Source: 17 Geniuses Who Are Surprisingly Stupid (In One, Glaring Way)

26

CRACKED.COM The Green Goblin was originally a demon. Stan Lee envisioned Spider-Man's foe as an ancient demon found in an Egyptian sarcophagus. Steve Ditko just ignored Lee's idea, and drew the Goblin as a guy in a costume. — Source

25

CRACKED Death and snake venom on FITZCARRALDO In Werner Herzog's 1982 film, several indigenous extras were killed or injured. A logger was bit by a venomous snake, and had to cut off his own foot with a chainsaw to stop the poison from spreading. — Source

24

In 2014, the satirical Ig Nobel Prize was given to inventors of the comb-over. CRACKED.COM The prize honors research that makes you laugh, then makes you think. The late Frank Smith and his son Donald developed the comb-over in response to Frank's baldness in the 1970s. Не even submitted a patent to mar- ket and sell a spray to keep the comb-over style in place. — Source

23

SONAR SCREENS LOOK LIKE THIS. AUT *36-73 Longs toda *02-33 4.7 are OK Status 025 day Mode ACTOVER LES chack END 22:07:07 FFF - Paper W-4-7658 Happy Survive Course - LANT C-0-9782 detecting screws Accounte Premissing - teraction - 80% People mostly use passive screens (right) that involve listening to highly sensitive microphones and complex calculations. CRACKED.COM — Source

22

Climbing experts, not job titles.

SHERPA IS NOT A JOB. The Sherpa people from Nepal are well-known for their mountaineering skills and friendly attitude. It's not a job title, though - it's simply an ethnicity. CRACKED — Alex Brylov/Shutterstock
Highland Expeditions

21

WEIRD WORLD In SC, a K9 bit a COW and got tasered -then in the COW kicked the cop with the taser. (illustration) The officer, who was responding to a burglary call, tasered the COW to protect it -- the dog got distracted by the COW and bit it for some reason. CRACKED.COM — Source: KFOR

20

Terminator: Dark Fate's de-aging involved digitally replacing actors' heads. They shot sequences with young actors, then replaced their faces with the stars' faces using a facial capture system from Disney Research. CRACKED.COM — Source: The Hollywood Reporter

19

China criticizes US for not handling the balloon situation calmly.

CRACKED CHINA ASKED FOR ITS SPY BALLOON BACK AFTER IT WAS SHOT DOWN. The ССР said it was for civilian use and criticized the U.S. for not handling it calmly. The Pentagon says acted fast to stop sensitive info being taken by the spy platform, but experts think it probably didn't work. — Fox

18

Wu Zao

Poet CRACKED.COM Wu Zao One of the great poets of the Ching Dynasty, Wu Zao's poems were popular even during her lifetime. Her poetry included blatantly erotic poems she had written to women. — Source: Legacy Project Chicago

17

In the Kong: Skull Island novelization, Mason's dad's death shaped her work. S RINING GNS FROM WAS Не always had super high standards that she failed to live up to--and, after he died, she used her photography as a way of searching for meaning. CRACKED.COM — CBR

16

THE PATRIOTS CRACKED.COM It's hard to imagine Tom Brady & The Patriots as underdogs, but Brady was the 199th pick in 2000 (with 6 QBs picked before him), and the Rams' Kurt Warner and Marshall Faulk had both recently been named NFL MVPs. Brady delivered an MVP performance in Super Bowl XXXVI, and beat the Rams 20-17 for his first of 7 championships. — Source: cnn.com

15

Amy Poehler The Wine Country star has her own wine shop in Brooklyn called Zula, which she opened with two musicians she met on the set of Wet, Hot American Summer. CRACKED.COM — Source: Eater

14

Source: TechCrunch

13

Natalie Portman was eating pizza with her mom. CRACKED 11-year-old Portman was chilling at a pizza joint on Long Island when a Revlon rep came over and told her she should be a model. Instead of immediately calling the cops, young Natalie says kept my cool. I told him — Source: Bio

12

Softwood and hardwood are determined by the way they reproduce.

Balsa wood, one of the softest woods, is technically a hardwood. CRACKED.COM The difference be- tween hardwood and softwood has to do with how they repro- duce, not the actual hardness of the wood. — Gizmodo

11

As anyone who's ever eaten a hot pepper on a dare can tell you, swallowing isn't as quick as you think. It takes approximately 10 seconds for your esophagus to transport food into your stomach. CRACKED.COM — Source: Britannica

10

The Last Five Years

BREAK-UP MEDIA The Last Five Years If you like musicals and a good cry over how terrible relationships can be, this Anna Kendrick and Broadway superstar Jeremy Jordan romance is a great choice. CRACKED.COM

9

'We all make mistakes,' says woman who got bit by an octopus she put on her face.

A woman was bitten by an octopus she put on her face, We all make mistakes she says. CRACKED COM When its beak entered my chin, it was the most intense pain, she said. It felt like ... a barbed hook. If I tried to release it off my face, I knew I was go- ing to tear skin or flesh away. — CBC

8

Illegal filmmaking Extras died in 1928's Noah's Ark. For the flood, cameraman Hal Mohr quit when director Michael Curtiz rolled his eyes at his safety concerns. Three extras died, another lost a limb, and a dozen suffered serious injuries, but Curtiz somehow escaped any legal repercussions. CRACKED — Source

7

Awful Sitcom Tropes Young people with huge apartments Friends handwaved the issue with rent control, but it was still a major offender. Similarly, apartments in How I Met Your Mother were huge, which makes us think sitcoms are set in a utopia where housing is cheap (and you date someone different every week). CRACKED.COM — Source

6

WEIRD WORLD A couple used Morse code to escape an assisted living facility in Lebanon, Tennessee. (illustration) They were kept in a unit with a locked door with an electronic keypad, and the man, who had used Morse code in the military, used his knowledge to figure out the door code by listening to staff hitting the keys on the keypad. CRACKED.COM — Source: Tennesseean

5

Johnny Depp

Johnny Depp has a room full of fancy Barbie dolls. Не reportedly uses them to test new voices. Не originally collected them for his daughter, and when she lost interest, he couldn't bring himself to get rid of them. Не has a number of limited-edition Babies, like Beyonce, Paris Hilton, Marilyn Monroe, and Audrey Hepburn. CRACKED.COM — Source: 19 Celebrities Who Are Huge Fans Of Surprising Stuff

4

SCLERODERMA

COMEDY NERD CRACKED.COM BOB SAGET DID A LOT OF WORK FOR THE SCLERODERMA RESEARCH FOUNDATION. Не had lost his sister to the disease, and that experience eventually led him to join the Foundation's board of directors and host benefits for the charity. — Source

3

Lightning can heat the air it passes through to 50,000 degrees. This is 5 times hotter than the surface of the sun, which sizzles at a relatively temperate 9,941 degrees fahrenheit. The sun makes up for this measly number by heating up inside to 27 million degrees. CRACKED NOW YOU KNOW — Source

2

Moon Knight: Past, Present, and Future

MCU Phase Four and Legacy CRACKED.COM Previous Moon Knight MOON KNIGHT Current Moon Knight It's a matryoshka doll of legacy characters. Prospective Moon Knight

1

Norm Macdonald

Norm Macdonald CRACKED.COM Norm did love those O.J. jokes. But fired for it? Come on! As the story goes, in 1998, Norm was fired for telling too many O.J. Simpson jokes. Writer James Downey (who was fired at the same time) said, That was all due to then NBC exec. Don Ohlmeyer. Norm and I were writing a lot of jokes about O.J. Simpson, and we had been doing so for more than three years. Don, being good friends with O.J., had just had enough. — Daily Beast

Tags:

Visual

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

Movies & TV

8 Supremely Dumb Sitcom Premises

Movies & TV

5 Depraved Acts That Must Be Included in Any ‘Sims’ Movie

Movies & TV

A ‘Far Side’ Controversy Led to Gary Larson Being Attacked by a Chimp

Science & History

5 of History's Least Fun Drinking Games

Movies & TV

Four Great Sitcom Characters Who Weren’t Added Until Season Two

Trivia & Jokes

14 Groanworthy Puns From r/Jokes That Will Make You Ashamed of the Entire English Language

VIRAL ON CRACKED

1

15 First and Last Lines Of The Best Characters On Beloved TV Shows

2

10 Classic ‘Simpsons’ Episodes the Internet Originally Hated

3

14 Groanworthy Puns From r/Jokes That Will Make You Ashamed of the Entire English Language

4

30 of the Strangest Rules Babysitters Had to Follow

5

30 Random Facts to Penetrate Your Brain Fog