40 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, September 9, 2024

Rent used to be like $100
40 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, September 9, 2024

Over the weekend, the Television Academy began doling out Emmys at its two-night Primetime Creative Arts ceremony. The Bear got a little taste of what’s to come by winning seven Emmys ahead of the main event on Sunday. Two of those awards went to guest performers: Jamie Lee Curtis, who is now halfway to an EGOT, and first-time winner Jon Bernthal. As for the non-Bear-related winners, John Mulaney’s appearance on My Next Guest earned the David Letterman-hosted nonfiction series a win. And Eric André finally won an award for his self-titled sketch series, while Maya Rudolph brought her victory total to six with another award in the Outstanding Character Voice-Over Performance category for her work on Big Mouth

The ceremony also paid respect to a certified living legend when Dick Van Dyke’s 98 Years of Magic won for Outstanding Variety Special. After his win, the prolific performer told the press room that he hopes to be remembered for “making people laugh for 75 years.” Surprisingly, Van Dyke isn’t the oldest winner of a Creative Arts Emmy as he now shares that honor with the late Norman Lear, who set the record back in 2020. But you never know what the future might hold, as the entertainer joked that he’s “looking for work.” 

Over on the timeline, the internet comedians let the creative juices flow to get the new week going. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a Chicago-style meal, how Elon manages to do it all and the real Liam Gallagher.

madeline odent @oldenough... 1d ... a fun thing you can do, if you're from the southern USA, is make sweet tea in front of a British person and just like watch their face 129 439 8,773 252K
Lara @Himejoshi... . 1d ... Dafoe does not look fucking real in this photo, idk how to explain it he just feels like an animatronic or a wax statue A SHOT A Shot. @justashottt_.2d Willem Dafoe and Jenna Ortega on the set of 'BEETLEJUICE BEETLEJUICE'. 1,290 12.3K 325K del 5.7M
Isabella @lev_glebovich - 1 17h ... we were all incredibly touched by your dj set 60 3,955 30.7K del 668K
hawktu twins @sicksadchris 18h meeting beyonce and telling her i loved i her in goldmember and mentioning nothing about her music career just to see if it throws her off 85 2,300 40.8K 681K
Grip Bayless @talleyberry.... .1d ... ok but in a good way Michael Harriot @micha... 1d Bananabread tastes like it went to college to be cake but got pregnant freshman year. 13 1,052 4,782 190K
poly 3: @delta8victim.1 1d Excellent way to Fart so much like so fucking much Eatinerni @eatinerni.2d Steak Alfredo is a thing?? 28 957 25.7K 1.2M
AT @primediscussion 22h ... I've officially decided I don't wanna eat at any restaurant with a DJ. 70 1,696 3,955 740K
@sweerie_ 1d Ayanda r Everyone who comes to visit me in the hospital is leaving with a baby @Theola... ...2d Oládélé After 23 years of waiting, God blessed her with 3 boys and 3 girls. And some of you still say you don't believe In miracles Congratulations 260 10.2K 129K 3.3M
«Isr TEL +970 @daanjiji 15h ... I wrote your tweet boys can't get pregnant? -Betrladn, 2024 Sep 8,2024, 8:38 PM CL @crtrlndn1 1d boys cant get pregnant? #KeepPounding 62 18.5K 147K 2.3M
@ifeelgoodto 1d ... ruins my mood when i say girl to a guy and he says I'm not a girl like damn babygirl relax fr 401 40.5K 290K 4.1M
M @batmanstwink.1 1d ... because that would ruin his pretty face and they like it next question DC KAL @ARKHAMPUNK. 1d i've always wondered why the batman villains don't just try to shoot him here ? 84 6,584 120K 1.8M
julia @eathedocument-17h ... an essential part of watching old movies is having your inflation calculator ready 86 2,826 41.7K del 698K
tgm. @TGM_007.19h OMG you should watch FRIENDS, it's so funny!! Me watching FRIENDS: ija 428 10.2K 62.2K 1.3M
sorrel @Sorrelish 20h The 'people' in question: Metro @MetroUK 1d Thunder and lightning over London left people 'worried the world was ending' trib.al/EleiOnZ 14 293 9,685 256K
Rob Fox III @RobFoxThree 16h ... Mahomes and Kelce look like the dipshit henchmen in a Jason Statham movie. GUCCI ULCCI 180 1,151 20.7K del 620K
big content guy @bigconte... 13h ... she dressed like a Peruvian coke dealer 19 FOX NFL NFL on FOX Podcast FOX 16h PODCAST SPORTS I play my best when I'm having fun. This group allows me to do that. Baker Mayfield is with @LauraOkmin after the @Buccaneers win YOU'VE SCURED arms BOWNS RAYMONDJAN FOX NFL nr SCORED FREE RISCH GARDERS 2020 LA 2002 cc N season getting the winning FOX quarterback and still talking about some kinks 199 3,308 47.6K 2.1M
wyabt @wy4bt.15h MALIN DECION the garbage shit boy Pa @davedittell if you fuck up a meal just call it Chicago style and serve it anyway 6 476 11.7K 191K
Zack Budryk @BudrykZack 1d ... Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they've used it yet Populism Updates @Popul... 2d Tell me your most radical position that cannot be placed on the left- right political spectrum 100 1,592 17.5K del 565K
Pookie @PookiesParadise 18h ... y'all gotta stay off them youtube shorts Sosa @ihysosa 19h y'all not ready for this conversation 115 3,422 74.6K 1.3M
evan loves worf @esjesjesj 15h ... Easy. Не doesn't actually do any work at any of the companies and he doesn't raise his kids. a molson @Molson_Hart-2 2h someone needs to figure out how this man runs 6 innovative, intensely competitive companies with 12 kids, multiple baby mamas, and still somehow finds the time to go sporting events and play video games Sawyer Merritt @SawyerMerritt-3h Elon Musk with the Founder and Former CEO of Activision Blizzard at the US Open today in NY. 428 152 3.2K 280K 927 12.4K 150K 1.9M
lezra @lesbians4snoopy2 23h so happy for my oasis oomfies but i hope you guys know that every time you mention liam gallagher i am picturing this guy 100 6,880 70.2K 1.2M
ray of torchlight @GaterHouser 1d ... i love running errands for my girlfriend feels sort of like this 4 185 4,361 121K
Lucavi @lucavi_ftw.- 1d what's wrong dear, u barely touched ur Хана Монтана pizza TCKO еню SUMMER PLEASE ери DON'TGO шунка, ٩ слини/ 00 л6. That my pizza Хана Монтана /дом. COC, кашкавал, шунка, луканка/ 8 00 300 лв. гр. АЛКИТЕ ARTV 188 7,752 97.3K 2.6M
Blake TM @NeilNevins 1d I was the only one rushing to get my phone out for this during an architecture tour -PEED WITH Summer of George Chicago, IL 64 477 8,273 262K
Rides That'll Beat your A... . dd ... KEEP HONKING! I'MLISTENING TO SKA AND YOU'RE IN THE BAND NOW PROGARUST ARDSTICKERS WASHINGTO I BELIEVE IN CUBE EARTH PLEASE HIT ME W TO I NEED TO HIT ROCK BO 2.5M 86.1K 6,611 143
AntifaPuddin'Pop @Andie00....1 1d ... I just had the worst Instacart experience ever. I'll spare you details. So I'm mumbling this dude is getting 1 star and the doorbell rings. This dude is a high school kid. On. His. Bike. Не blurts out I'm so sorry but I am not used to the supermarket yet. Yeah. Extra $10. 213 658 23K 393K
hawktu twins @sicksadchris - dd this could be about at least 53 songs Niccoya @niccoyat.2 2d Janet Jackson was a freaky frog for that song. 69 9,074 42.4K del 1.3M
bobby @bobbyonmain1 1d i love having people over at my apartment like yesss sit on my couch and drink from one of my glasses 42 6,306 65.9K del 1.2M
ang @cybermrcury 22h ... Listening to music my friends don't like ... 31 6,323 45.2K del 714K
Benny @SlippinBenny-1d ... Ok Seek help from professionals trained in mental health care. 171 8,699 126K del 2.7M
Sean @seantmcdonough1 : 1d ... When covid is mentioned in a show/ movie 292 11.5K 261K 3.8M
Larisha @bylarisha 23h kind of comforting to know that no matter how bad of a day you might be having, kendrick lamar is going to make sure drake is having a worse one POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d Kendrick Lamar to perform at 2025 Super Bowl Halftime show. i NFL SUPER BOWL 274 31K 341K 6.6M
don't @ me @itslinzzzz 1d A sci fi movie about boy moms? I'm intrigued malcoholic @lepetitereboot.1 1d This one is WILD. A scientist lady creates clones to give to her son because he's a serial killer and needs victims hulu ALL THAT WE DESTROY INTO THE DARK 10 1,167 7,194 228K
pipperberry @pippercorn. 1d 4 year old has a new bit where he pretends to have a fatal scooter accident. it's very funny but the other patrons of the farmer's market seemed alarmed 187 6,157 163K 2.3M
90s WWE @90sWWE.1d -90s- WWE THEY THINK THEY KNOW ME @90SWWE 69 3,665 31.2K 1.1M
John Donoghue @JohnDonogh.... 1d ... Quiet please... Lemon Raspberry Loaf is sleeping Reduced-Fat Very Ber Lemon Raspberry Loaf $2.25 $2.45 572 28.5K 295K 6.3M
chris @askappnot2track-1d ... GRAT This has to be a scam text but what's the end goal here? Text Message Today 2:46PM Hi, is this dentist John? iMessage Today 3:53 PM It is not Sent as Text Message Text Message I have a toothache today. My friend Mia recommended this number. It would be great if you could recommend a dentist you are familiar with 463 1,421 87.5K 3.1M
Velvet Milkman @velvetmilkma... 1d ... Slept in jeans last night and I'm afraid to check my texts this morning. That's how you know you got after it 21 692 21K 702K
Michael McKean @MJMcKe... 23h ... You know, the Cybertrucks aren't that impressive up close. LEGAL A FOUNDATION LOS ANGELES LAFLA.ORG 205 3,189 105K 1.2M
ben e @jeanpierreload 19h they're making up a new guy FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d Lorenzo Zurzolo in Venice 33 251 8,171 278K

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