31 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, September 4, 2024

Groovy, baby!
31 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, September 4, 2024

For almost a decade, Josh Radnor and the late Bob Saget weaved a long and intricate tale detailing just how Ted Mosby met the titular matriarch in How I Met Your Mother. Hilary Duff and Kim Cattrall went on a similar, albeit briefer, journey in How I Met Your Father, but the spin-off failed to recapture the magic of the original series. Despite this, Alyson Hannigan has a pitch to return to MacLaren’s Pub, and told PEOPLE that her idea centers around her and Jason Segel’s characters recounting their version of the series’ events because “everybody tells the story differently.” 

Hannigan’s idea also accounts for how much the cast has aged over the ensuing years without completely upending the original story. Who knows, with nostalgia being the latest Hollywood cash cow, maybe How He Met Your Mother is in our future?

Speaking of returns, there’s already talks for Matt Damon and Casey Affleck to stir up some more trouble in a sequel to their Apple TV+ film The Instigators. Despite being released to an onslaught of negative reviews, the comedy heist gone wrong wasn’t only a hit, but one of the streamer’s most watched films ever. In an interview with Deadline, Damon revealed that director Doug Liman is part of the package to return for seconds, which isn’t something Liman plans on doing with Amazon MGM and the Road House reboot he helmed. 

Over on the timeline, the amateur comedians have professional-grade jokes per usual. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the worst version of your grocery store self, plaintiff Sabrina Carpenter and something that always ruins a good day.

ARIOROI layne team future... @ink0... . 1d ... no one was autistic in the 80s LMAO00000000000OO Mila Joy @MilaLovesJoe. 2d Remember the 1970s and 1980s when no one was autistic, gluten intolerant, or transgender. ... 133 2,936 44.2K 1.4M
claire de lune @ClaireMPLS 15h ... instead of grunting i think tennis players should try yelling fuck out of here like they're melo 18 298 1,794 del 69.6K
Sophie Vershbow @svershbow.22h ... Has anyone figured out how to leave home without spending $40? 225 663 6,848 336K
Soggy Broccoli @soggybrocoli- 1d ... not now daddy, kitten is telling people to get divorced on r/AITA 3 1,015 8,003 del 170K
briana. @briasoboojie 1d Nicole Kidman works like she's on the verge of homelessness. FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpd... 1d The official trailer for 'THE PERFECT COUPLE' has been released. Starring Nicole Kidman, Liev Schreiber, Meghann Fahy, Eve Hewson, Dakota Fanning, Ishaan Khatter, Billy Howle and Jack Reynor. cc THE PERFECT COUPLE Am I under arrest, or can I go get something to eat? 135 2,091 34K 1.3M
sarah @sarahradz_.2 22h My 9yo on holding a very new baby: she is so cute... the size of four rats 19 214 4,998 del 102K
Tom. @NotThatTomGreen 19h ... Imagine being such a piece of shit that the only bigger piece of shit you can think of in your profession literally murdered his family. FADE @FadeAwayMedia-20h If Chris Benoit can do the crap he did and the fans still love him - Hulk Hogan on wrestling fans forgiving past mistakes (IMPAULSIVE) cc 0:13 52 966 7,463 del 279K
wargen @funeralpig 16h shouting corner! and behind! while heating up cup noodles in the office break room 9 296 3,671 69.3K
ian karmel @IanKarmel 11h We have, for too long, shackled the bakery to the morning. Night bakeries. Fresh croissants at 11pm. It is possible. 77 1,203 12.2K 297K
April (The Drink) @ericdoajoi 1d ... still kicking Ese Grinch 1d It's old. But it still bark!! Name @Name24363387.1d My ps4 still kicking 148 5,851 114K 3.8M
Sarah York @thesarahyork.2 21h Probably a better way to combine the words portable and monitor w History Bookmarks Profiles Tab Window Help ryork@gr x a Amazon.com : dual monitor x + com/s?k=dual+monitor&i=todays-deals&crid=2PD3635672Z5H&sprefix=dual+monitor%2 S OP Tastest delivery Tomorrow, Sep 4 Add to cart Sponsored Laptop Screen Extender,15.6 Dual Monitor, USB с Travel Extended Co Options: 5 sizes PORNITOR 73 50+ bought in past month 15.6 $29999 Disp 15. 15.6 Save $50.00 Wins & Mac os with coupon HD Driver Required vprime - FREE delivery Mon, Sep و Or fastest delivery Tomorrow, Sep 4 Add to cart Sceptre 30-inch IPS Monitor 21:9 I in Speakers,
Brack @brackNmild - 1d ... WHY DID YA STOP?! BRAIN FREEZE... wouldn't the mouth melt him? 11:22 PM go to sleep nigga Stubborn 11:24PM ammadi @lee_maaaaaa.2d Post a random photo otherwise everything goes wrong in September 255 9,070 187K 13.5M
Apocaloptimist @Apocaloptimi... 1d ... IQ is an accurate predictor of intelligence in that if you meet someone whose worldview is centered around it, you know immediately they're one of the dumbest motherfuckers out there. Boccaccio @Bocc_accio.2d The higher your IQ, the more rights you should have. 500 14.5K 204K 5M
@killthe_s... 22h scary girlfriend ... laughing maniacally like a king at his jesters while clicking the view button: yes yes. bring out the fool This Post is from an account you muted. View 86 16.9K 145K 2M
- Kingpin Kent @_MCKENTON_.1d ... Michael Jackson really got in the studio and said you ain't my bitch and that ain't my kid hehe wooohoooo 519 20.4K 173K 5.6M
nopeify @nopeify 18h Worst Headline you'll read today and there's like 10 wars happening Dexerto @Dexerto.1 19h The Hawk Tuah Girl is launching her own podcast under Jake Paul's media company PA levelan! 285 8,982 204K 7.4M
James Colley @JamColley.2 20h helluva way to sell a belt 0:30 No more stretched holes Shop now 4 61 984 55.3K
Grosdoriane @Grosdoriane 18h another one for the list Things that are only in NYC Corner stores Bacon egg and cheese breakfast sandwiches Pizza Paying attention to things Samuel F. Reynolds @Unlo... 1d If you're not from NYC or lived there, you might not understand this. One thing I loved about living in NYC is how it forced me to pay attention to... 123 2,354 41.4K del 1.4M
the notorious A.L.B @albs_wo... 17h ... Is she on peoples court? @sabrinathinker.1 1d sabrina carpenter, what a woman 48 1,844 39.4K 1.1M
carter hambley @carterhambley 2h ... the er waiting room should have a corner with some tools where you can take a stab at it first 9 130 2,062 41.8K
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy 23h ... if you ever make me food and I find out later that your cat was involved in every step of the process, I'm gonna be really mad Posts Of Cats @PostsOf... 1d That cat looks like it works a 9-5 and has bills to pay FC 190 YROLASNM 0:46 298 3,426 42.9K 1.9M
 @archer_uwu 1d ... being the only non-trans person in a large friend group of trans people - - - - main - 1 - - 2 123456789R 2 2 VISITORS 0 0 1010 3 HOME 1 0 002 1 I 0 - AT BAT 2 - - 3 02 mark - 1-1 - 4 - - - - - 1-2 PETER GRIFFIN 2 BALL STRIKE OUT 1 #1 TRANSGENDER FAN!!! 162 6.9K 95K 1.8M
paul tequila updates @hesafruit.22h ... I accidentally bought chairs from the set of It Ends With Us from Housing Works a few months ago so now I am asking the chairs what really happened between Blake Lively and Justin Baldoni ristie IT ENDS 50 from WITH US ddington SET DEC INVENTORY I DER - SHE SAID SET DUSTY CAFE 1326 PEALON - BOX 401 I - { ASSET #: N/A ontana Books ITEM their DESCRIPTION: 23 375 22K 468K
Scott Sweeney @SkipSeasoned 1d I agree. The next Alien movie should have Austin Powers in it | chancellor dalia I @etkralicesi 1d One thing I dislike about ALIENS is how Ripley was asleep for 57 years- a and she has zero problems adjusting to the new present. Austin Powers was in cryostasis only 30 years and he had a harder time adapting. 71 1.9K 32K 965K
luis @luisspears - 21h ... ducks when they see each other at the park: Today Yes boy 09:29 Fancy getting bread 17:10 33 1.6K 28K 941K
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric2 20h | don't like the person I become when the grocery store moves the aisles around. 61 338 2.4K 59K
worlds biggest planet of giants fan @NateluS... . 1d ... angry men tier list S A в с D 178 634K 2K 22K
Marissa @michimama75 1d Saw the washing machine only had 6 minutes left so I decided to wait in the basement until it was done. That was 4 hours ago. 47 236 6.9K 108K
tootss @liltoots_ 23h ... You can't eat chipotle with a house fork 196 3,681 21.7K 623K
Caroline Renard @carolineren... 17h ... You'll be having a good day and here comes a cyber truck. 62 2,602 15K 496K
Eld The SOARing Antifa Male... 21h ... me: i am fundamentally opposed to cops, history is a record of every case they fumbled, ACAB my therapist: that's fair me: but i love it when the fbi agents put on their windbreakers to go and investigate a rainy crime scene my therapist: who doesn't 21 833 12.2K 140K

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