38 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, August 20, 2024
![38 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, August 20, 2024](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/2/7/1/1139271_320x180.jpg)
Donald Glover and Maya Erskine may be the stars of Mr. & Mrs. Smith, but the show’s supporting cast has gotten a significant amount of buzz, too — so much so that now some major Hollywood players want in. The Prime Video dramedy corralled the likes of John Turturro, Sarah Paulson and Parker Posey for its inaugural season, and it paid off with a whopping 16 Emmy nominations, five of those being in the Guest Acting categories. As a result, showrunner Francesca Sloane told The Hollywood Reporter that her phone is ringing off the hook with “legendary character actors,” “icons” and “real heavy-hitters” itching to be a part of the show’s second season.
Meanwhile, another legendary actor did the exact opposite and begged for less screen time. Michael Keaton recently revealed that one of the stipulations for reprising his iconic bio-exorcist in the Beetlejuice sequel was that the film not overdo it with his character. Keaton only appeared as Beetlejuice in the 1988 original for a total of 17 minutes. And he felt that any more than that in this new installment would “kill it.” Thus, while the “Ghost with the Most” is making his long-awaited return in Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, he won’t “drive the story.”
Over on the timeline, the comedians of Twitter are also taking exactly the amount of time that they want. Today’s funniest tweets include those about knowing your worth, how to troll babies on Facebook and the key to lowering your phone’s screen time.
![tate @50FirstTates 1d ... nobody will remember: -your salary - how busy you were - how many hours you worked people will remember: - the one time you misspelled that word in the chat - how badly you misspelled that word - god you are so stupid they will literally never let you live that down 61 5,570 40K 789K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/5/1139055.jpg)
![Braxton Rotsniffer @BRotsniffer.1d ... Just passed a freshman with a printed out map of campus and his buildings circled in highlighter 754 3,819 149K 5.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/4/1139054.jpg)
![Scoon @Scoon_ATL 15h ... Yall scammers done made it hard for everybody Applied for a new spot and the income verification is ridiculous. They basically want me to take a picture of me holding my bank statements in the bank while shaking the hand of the branch manager while holding today's newspaper. 427 5,887 43.7K 1.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/2/1139052.jpg)
![Johan Lenox @johanlenox.14h ... commenting AI... look at the hands on ppls baby pics 9 943 19.5K 500K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/3/1139053.jpg)
![@buffys 20h Hera @herasyndulla . Jun 1 megan thee stallion and timothee chalamet are the same age and height 22 3 249 Sabine @sabwren . Jun 1 they have the same middle name too WOW 17 2 26 28 1,404 27.8K 343K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/1/1139051.jpg)
![Eric @odailybitch.22h the text i just received from my 10 year old niece after her first day of school Today 2:20PM Guess what? I got a gay best friend he's so nice. And super zesty. 30 763 43.7K 824K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/5/0/1139050.jpg)
![cockgaming32 @cockgaming32.18h ... no seraphine @yrinsanel... . 1 1d do you guys ever wish ur online names were ur real names lol 107 8,465 110K 2.1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/9/1139049.jpg)
![sarah @sarahradz_.1d One of my favorite parts of 2020 was when I had a baby and went out into the back alley and held him up like Simba and all the Italian grandmas on their balconies cheered 17 387 14.9K del 147K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/8/1139048.jpg)
![Stephanie/Citifanía @SFGee... 22h ... Know worth your REFUSE TO BE STORED IN BLACK PLASTIC SACKS AND PLACED IN THE CONTAINERS PROVIDED 25 1,122 12.9K 268K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/7/1139047.jpg)
![galatic overlord reese @CENT... 15h ... if i was a tattoo artist and someone came in and asked for this i would beat them to death Jhonny ** @JhonnyWhi... 23h tattoing your partners name is in the past.. 70 3,008 72.1K 1.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/7/1139037.jpg)
![Syd Divine @SydDivineTarot-17h ... what are your talents i can get real sad real fast® for no real reason 32 11.9K 59.1K 2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/0/1139040.jpg)
![CurtiMagurtti @_Curtdoggg.9h ... 2:59 5GUC 57 Jack'd Guys are sad too Follow < HD KING ... Aug 12 i be crying at funerals cuz i'm jealous Haha Comment N Send Share 180 3,013 16K 565K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/4/1139044.jpg)
![AP @PriscilliaLi• 20h ... People dming me from this tweet, does this sound like a tweet of a good woman AP @PriscilliaLi• 1d I'm tired of switching my football team for new talking stages 99 1,790 14.8K 608K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/6/1139046.jpg)
![chase @not_chasebank.19h ... just found out the olympic muffin guy is a married father of 4 children i thought he was like 17 73 2,456 89.5K 2.5M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/1/1139041.jpg)
![sierrawuff MFM @SierraO... 16h ... SOON friend got mad at me for referring to their polycule as a ship of theseus situation 71 2,303 47K 722K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/9/1139039.jpg)
![Kafka, esq. @metalgea... 17h ... There's nothing like commuting by car that reminds you that within each of us is a deep capacity for profound evil 15 733 7,587 105K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/2/1139042.jpg)
![b @communemami - 1 1d ... I love being so openly embarrassing that people feel like they can tell me anything 16 3,513 17.6K 353K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/8/1139038.jpg)
![b @halfateaspn - 1d ... going to the doctor feels like talking to a cop most times 31 1,814 14.5K 215K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/3/1139043.jpg)
![Maizie @postboob.1 1d ... the call comes when the call comes and all you can do is be ready 1d @whotfareyoudude ج Its barely noon Your day at a glance 38m ago Touch yourself. 5 813 13.3K 564K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/4/5/1139045.jpg)
![GRAY @felidfang 1d Follow Fresh out the egg with my big feet 28 2,381 22.6K 418K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/6/1139036.jpg)
![Paris @goodyhilton .22h You are going to fart levy @1929stockcrash 1d hey guys! im on a new low carb diet so I replaced the sandwich buns with mozzarella-hope y'all recreate and enjoy Oce @DANIELA_DISH Cupidon It 0:07 39 1,437 35.3K 1.5M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/5/1139035.jpg)
![Connor Ewing @ConnorMEwing 15h ... Me standing in line at the campus coffeeshop after students have returned for the fall semester: Andrew Tettenborn Are too many young people going to university? 15 August 2024, 6:46am 425 7,386 148K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/4/1139034.jpg)
![vague skies @galacticdad.17h ... Photo memories just reminded me of the funniest push notification I've ever gotten 5 25 : 28 sz GT 2:10 X x KILL YOURSELF NOW!!!!!!!! 28 5,697 92.3K 1.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/3/1139033.jpg)
![$hady Spice. @iamshadyspice-23h ... A I Mum Lol...its because texting is not formal.english...the dots show you the pause in my thoughts...tell that man I said kiss my ass.... M Text Message Cash Malik Mclntyre @malikd... .2d I always wondered why when black people get older they start putting....in between their words... when they...text. Like where does th... 62 3,368 36.2K 768K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/2/1139032.jpg)
![Hbomberguy @Hbomberguy 21h ... Finding out the state of Grimes' child custody battle from a screenshot of her response to Elon the kkketamine addict is one reason why I remain trapped here. It rules here in hell marzzz @GRIMESBIAN.1 1d sobbing i'm so happy for her Elon the kkketamine addict @Elonk... 15h ... Did you get back your child? 1 16 2.9K Jhon reposted Grimes @Grimezsz Yes ofc ! 10:51 PM 8/17/24 5.8K Views 13 Reposts 16 Quotes 241 Likes 8 Bookmarks 66 7,338 79.4K 1.4M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/1/1139031.jpg)
![John Christo @WhitePepperG... 19h ... The fuck you need 4 ovens for with no family MFL MLFootball @_MLFootb... .20h MUST WATCH: том BRADY WITH A MESSAGE (basically) то TUA ABOUT HAVING HIS CONFIDENCE HURT BY HIS COACHES CRITICISM, in a video from back in January pic.twitter.com/ nq1bquW7rX If the coach was gonna be HARD ON ME, I was gonna ACCEPT THE DIFFICULT COACHING, BECAUSE NEED TO HEAR... Show more PAT 1.30.24 MCAFEE 23 ТОМ BRADY 7X SUPER BOWL CHAMP.. 3X NFL MVP... . GOAT SEATGEEK TICKER ble to play 23 years.. I just loved playing so much and never wanted](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/2/1139022.jpg)
![droid mom @droidxmom . dd my kids aren't allowed to watch a fake animated kids show because the girl dog is blue :- The Art of Purpose 3d PARENTS ONLY Do you believe it's appropriate to let your children watch Bluey - while they openly state that they are challenging gender norms? 'S of Bluey h Bluey is a gir ims to challe gender norms 489 3,738 72.6K 1.3M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/3/1139023.jpg)
![uncle gworl @_uncle_gworl 13h ... the bushwick delegation is present ICAGO 30 PM BREAKING NEWS EMARKS BY UAW PRESIDENT SHAWN FAIN DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION 14 280 10.2K del 261K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/8/1139028.jpg)
![m ID @BITCHLESSJAY.23h Running a Andrew Tate news account Tate News @TateNews_.3d What's an obvious sign of low intelligence? 68 7,486 161K 2.7M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/9/1139029.jpg)
![kels! @holdmelikeaknfe-1d ... Imao the difference Sabrina Carpenter Saturday SC 7 days whores and my new deluxe Ip is here Hozier Saturday H Unaired ЕР out now DEAR SOULS, | WANT TO THANK EACH AND EVERYONE OF YOU FOR... 26 2,907 63.4K 734K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/7/1139027.jpg)
![shannon55 @shannond... 13h ... (flirting) you're kinda dogshit at this game actually 30 1,185 10.1K 235K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/4/1139024.jpg)
![marang a letsatsi. @sup3rsun 5h ... Women in male dominated spaces >> @thatafalooo.9h she said she cried cause she couldn't stop cheating bro 10 1,128 8,060 194K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/3/0/1139030.jpg)
![The Ball Is Orange @theballiso... 2h ... Happy anniversary to this disaster 3 YEARS AGO 2:09 Twitter Kara в Chat Profile On that note! What's the craziest thing that happened at your high school and also where was said high school? Oh man...so I went to High School in Florida Already off to a hot start In Parkland timehop ОН NO 20 457 26.3K 685K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/0/1139020.jpg)
![ryan @scubaryan_ 1d ... land of the free? heh. good one, kid. S 3 ass eagle glocc @lilglocc1k•1 1d american eagle been goin thru it CC 252 16.4K 211K 6.1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/5/1139025.jpg)
![no context memes @weirdd... 3h ... Dad now Turn your blue tooth off as your still connected to my ear phones + I had my bum hole stitched up,do I still fart? 20.1K 44 194 9,182 395K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/1/1139021.jpg)
![maha @mahaaaay 1h ... your screen time is down thank you i have been spending more time looking at medium screen (laptop) and big screen (tv) 2 186 2,839 30K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/2/6/1139026.jpg)
![mol @mollllymoon 1 1 16h TV Caldo de Rez @klssthesvn.2 21h you look like you're from san antonio (derogatory) 22 3,793 47.4K 1.7M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/1/9/1139019.jpg)
![joe bro @jbromovies 20h ... All this for $3 opening weekend @Disc... 20h 4F DiscussingFilm Creepy CGI marketing for 'THE CROW' at the Statue of Liberty. In theaters this Friday. 23 S 75 1,445 45.7K 1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/0/1/8/1139018.jpg)