40 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of August 12, 2024
![40 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of August 12, 2024](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/0/1135890_320x180.jpg)
Fede Álvarez’s Alien: Romulus chewed through nearly $7 million in opening-night ticket sales alone, and the interquel is expected to land 10 times that amount by Monday. Fans aren’t the only ones excited for the latest installment in the chest-bursting, deep-space horror series either — theater chains have gone all in on their commemorative popcorn buckets and novelty drinks to honor the new release. Alamo Drafthouse even crafted a special menu with nods to the franchise, like the “Xenoburger” and “Zero Gravity Shake.”
The menu, however, also included a chili-based item, and as one Twitter user noted, if you order the “Facehugger Fries” in a movie theater, then you’re an animal with zero impulse control.
Chili-inclined theatergoers weren’t the only ones getting roasted this week, though. Other digital burn victims included coffee shops, a kid-approved charcuterie board and the nation of Poland.
![ximena I 41 DAYS @xoxoxiimena 2d im sorry that horse is ugly af FILMCRAVE Film Crave @_filmcrave. 3d Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield in John Crowley's 'WE LIVE IN TIME'. 37K 8.6M 675 442K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/3/0/1135930.jpg)
!['@HailEternal . 2d *thunderbobs Florence Pugh Daily @bestofpugh.3d marvel's thunderbolts 26K 14 876 471K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/9/1135929.jpg)
![@FireWaIkWithJoe . 3 3d joe eras tour for men WO Wrestle Ops @WrestleOps.3 3d John Cena confirms that his farewell tour in 2025 will consist of around 36 dates around the world. (Interview w/@Collider) ME M W JOHN CENA =THE= JOHNCENA LAS 2 25 FAREWELL ****TOUR **** TIM FAREWELL :IS= NOV TOUR 56 8.5K 71K 2.6M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/8/1135928.jpg)
![julia @juumelo_.22 when men say they have a lot going on right now they mean their sports team is playing bad 27 484 3.9K 265K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/4/1135924.jpg)
![Cade Onder @Cade_Onder 2d all that to get 36% on Rotten Tomatoes, barely break even at the box office, and be the 10th most watched movie on Netflix 8 months later RR The Streamr @The_Streamr. 2d Sony delayed 'KRAVEN THE HUNTER' so that it can alllow J. C. Chandor to have reshoots that would sharpen the characters and tighten up the plot. Sony feels confident that the film will be more in line with the 'VENOM' film's success. A trailer will be coming soon. (@DEADLINE) 97 877 16K 649K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/1/1135921.jpg)
![Lys @lyssah_a 3.3d ... grab my hand, baby... OTNN TMZ TMZ @TMZ.3d Colin Kaepernick Wants Back In NFL, 'Still Training, Still Pushing' | Click to read more tmz.me/1bl6Y9R 106 3.3K 30K 1.3M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/9/1135919.jpg)
![M @bukowskiasagirl. 2d Former Japanese Princess Mako Komuro looks loved-up as she strolls hand-in-hand with commoner husband in NYC after he failed bar exam for a second time By Alyssa Guzman For Dailymail.Com 00:52 25 Jun 2022, updated 16:20 27 Jul 2022 608 7.8K 139K 5.9M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/3/1135923.jpg)
![Salem Horror Fest @salemhorrorfest . 3d POLITICS REPUBLICANS On the Campaign Trail With Marjorie Taylor Greene 35 MINUTE READ ULLY 2 33 773 15K 586K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/2/1135922.jpg)
![a ressentiment woman @ANNVYSHINSKY. 3d Absolutely 0 rizz. Не should be studied for science. Tom Jones @93vintagejones - 3 3d LOVE BEING BACK ON THE APPS Lily ... Chat Profile Start the chat with Lily Thu, 8 Aug 07:37 Prepared to match your energy but not if it involves running | used to hate running training (Although | was pretty good) | like 5ks, they're horrible but they are very short Sat, 10 Aug 09:44 Was 5k the wrong distance 14 2.1K 90K 12](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/0/1135920.jpg)
![Jesse @RequiemArm 4d ... Elle King shouldn't count as a перо baby. If Rob Schneider is your dad the government should give you a scholarship or something V Variety @Variety - 4d Elle King Opens Up About 'Toxic' Relationship With Rob Schneider, Says Her Father Is 'Just Not Nice': 'You're Talking S--- About Drag and Anti-Gay Rights... Get F--- ed' variety.com/2024/digital/n... 28 1.4K 22K 662K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/6/1135926.jpg)
![Gay Gay Hunsecker @stockpiledclay . 3d Trump coming back to Twitter is a level of desperation I've only ever seen before on grindr 10 470 9.1K 248K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/7/1135927.jpg)
![C.Meal. @vcamillexo 4d A toddler charcuterie board. Matt Pinner @Matt_Pinner . 4d What do you call this ? 125 7K 108K 3.1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/8/1135918.jpg)
![Isaac @GalaxyPeaBrain 2d BORDERLANDS HAD THEIR FUN 0% Tomatometer 10 Reviews IT'S CROW 2024 TIME FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 2d FKA twigs and Bill Skarsgard in 'THE CROW.' In theaters August 23. 52 2.1K 31K 830K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/2/5/1135925.jpg)
![chef sweetie pie @nearwi1d... 1d ... this is how dating apps feel to me wyabt @wy4bt.1d you ever seen a movie before 10:02 PM Today Some 1 5:37 AM -Sent that's fire 6:01 AM 20 2,809 57K 1.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/7/1135917.jpg)
![Sesame Chiccen @Loccdaw... 1d ... I'd have HR at your desk before the timer hit zero WyldKat @ANiMaList... 1d Quite frankly, I don't think there's anything wrong with microwaving leftover chitlins in the break room. 54 6,160 28.1K del 1.1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/3/1135913.jpg)
![Cole. @losangelesbey. 1d ... Lame VP pick, not campaigning, email leaks....v welcome back Hillary Clinton Alex Isenstadt @politicoalex. 1d NEWS: Trump's campaign says it has been hacked The acknowledgment came after POLITICO began receiving emails fr... 165 1 4,374 140K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/5/1135915.jpg)
![Caroline @weirdassfishes.20h I was talking about piercings with the little girl I babysit and she was like some people have piercings in their nose I saw them at the coffee shop Oh im sure 32 2,363 73.9K del 1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/4/1135914.jpg)
![Mel @TheBaddestMitch. 18h ... Не just be doing shit cuz he 5'3 and don't believe in Jesus Sydney Colson @SydJCol... 19h What is Tom Cruise on?! This is so intense Imao 49 799 4,201 217K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/6/1135916.jpg)
![Summer Bulk @JuliusIrvington 1 1d ... this is exactly what it is like to have a girlfriend @milosmiata.2d spent $300 on emergency vet just for them to tell me he basically was acting weird for attention 49 59.6K . 2.3M 5,948](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/9/1135909.jpg)
![Alex Noonan @AlexNoonan6. 3h ... If your middle manager is a mid 30s workaholic with no kids you're in for a rough time 25 327 4,201 221K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/1/1135911.jpg)
![Caroline @weirdassfishes 3h ... JOAN DIDION This b1tch always had a screw loose like what are you smiling like that for in the middle of reading The Year Of Magical Thinking J@geniusgirlalert 5 512 6,973 148K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/0/1135910.jpg)
![HOURLY shitpost @ho... 1d ... quieres kkyoin just gonna start killing people i dont find funny cthuluguu National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255 kkyoin shut the fuck up 30 4,954 126K 1.8M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/1/2/1135912.jpg)
![ally @vampritez- 1d Have never met someone this stupid i don't like being Be'd mean to idk how to say the sentence 180 3,027 72.6K del 1.6M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/8/1135908.jpg)
![ALEX PTAK'S TEST KITCHEN 3d Always funny they gotta card you when you're like 35 in the off chance you're an incredibly busted teen 61 1,117 38K 648K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/7/1135907.jpg)
![Nik @gemzcore. 3d Untwist it Sia R @sadlysiaa.3 3d Well, this is my personal favorite. Cornbread with a twist 193 6,533 76.2K 2.8M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/6/1135906.jpg)
![larry davids mistress @b1gdumb1diott - .2d ... Do you think God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created here on earth? Dexerto @Dexerto 2 dd Cinnabon is making cinnamon rolls topped with Warhead sour candy WARHEADS CINNABON KONVO SOUR POPPIN ARABHEAR CINNABON 14 - 1.1M 1.4K 20K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/5/1135905.jpg)
![Roger @iamtherog 1d Hard to believe that little orange guy there is the director of Infinity Pool. DepressedBergman @DannyDrinksWine -1 1d David Cronenberg & Clive Barker on the set of Nightbreed (1990). 7 584 6.9K 211K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/4/1135904.jpg)
![Columned (Wake Up Dead Man) @Columned_ 1d ... This is gonna be a box office bomb but the film is gonna be generational @worldofreel.1 1d Reel Updates PAUL THOMAS ANDERSON's latest film, starring Leonardo Dicaprio, has a reported budget of over $140 million (via @WSJ) tinyurl.com/4n2fknu5 34 522 11K 395K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/7/1135897.jpg)
![kie @criminalplaza 1d me when im an american girl doll who made a wish to become human shadon @pvrekhs. 1d he loves to show those 2 teeth and USA gettyimages Credit: John Nacion 12 190 9.7K 212K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/2/1135902.jpg)
![Five Star Woman @bonyamericangrl. 1d Awwww I would have hated Glenn in elementary school caro @stylesgala 1/28/23 YOUNG GLEN POWELL AND LOGAN LERMAN THEY DID THIS FOR ME vans MFO. SINCE WHETEEN SIXTYSIX 30 442 23K 869K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/3/1135903.jpg)
![flughey @flughey 18h ... Pics taken from the secret Vaseline dimension @temitopepr. 3 3d TemiTope.PR been so long i saw my family. 9 613 17K del 269K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/0/1135900.jpg)
![lew @inlew_of 1d yo coworkers: 0000 bitch it stank wikiHow Cello/Phn @Cellowphane.1 1d I'm so musty at work omg 127 7.7K 94K 4.1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/1/1135891.jpg)
![SR(X)K Nephew @KELVIN_FILTER. 1d If you're eating chili in a movie theater you belong in a zoo gracie O SAW XI HYPE @coffinposting.2d alamo drafthouse romulus menu omgg aw ALIEN ROMULUS SPECIAL MENU 12-95 ESCAPE HATCH QUESO Hatch green chile queso, Shiner chili, cotija, cilantro, served with corn tortilla chips 13.95 FACEHUGGER FRIES Fries topped with Shiner chili, Hatch green chile queso, Tillamook cheddar, cotija, bacon, cilantro, scallions, sriracha sour cream XENOBURGER 16-95 Shiner chili, beef patty, cheddar, honey mustard, red onion, toasted bun, served with fries & ketchup ACID BLOOD 10.95 Malibu Coconut Rum, Midori® Melon Liqueur, pineapple juice, lime](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/9/0/1/1135901.jpg)
![ThePeoplesElbow @Idris_Elbow_.1d derby Follow back @derbydefi the persecution of short people is worse than racism 2:02 PM 8/14/24 From Earth 60 Views You're unable to view this Post because this account owner limits who can view their Posts. Learn more 202 12K 197K 5.1M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/8/1135898.jpg)
![vo @vanillaopinions 1d ... this is what every group of teenage boys looks like to me 34 4.3K 78K 2.2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/9/1135899.jpg)
![Guelly002 @SnailSnurch 1d now y'all can open indeed POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave 1d Grindr is currently down for all users. 16 1.4K 24K 767K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/2/1135892.jpg)
![Paul Phillips @BlueFlameBlues 3d ... Coffee shops that open at 8AM: You are not serious people. 196 1.9K 35K del 1.3M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/4/1135894.jpg)
![The Sietch of Sci-Fi @TSoS_ 2d The Sietch of Sci-fi I want to study your brain in a lab BLURAYANGEL @blurayangel. 2d I'm the only one willing to speak the truth #DeadpoolAndWolverine MARVEL STUDIOS DEADPOOL WOLVERINE > DUN م PART TWO 93 950 26K 708K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/5/1135895.jpg)
![Boluda @doubtpointv2.2 2d I hate polish people like what are you saying 9 32 344 26K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/6/1135896.jpg)
![Chris Stephens @ChrisStephensMD-2 2d ... asking people in the front row if they're a couple Matt Rife is living his comedy dream. Now for the hard part - maintaining it saying Uh oh! Trouble in paradise? Los Angeles Times 254 7.6K 7 193K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/9/3/1135893.jpg)