46 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, August 16, 2024
![46 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, August 16, 2024](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/7/9/5/1135795_320x180.jpg)
Jeff Goldblum can add “healthcare hero” to his extensive resume. During his guest-hosting appearance on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, Goldblum helped “working-class” actors qualify for SAG-AFTRA health insurance by offering them the role of a lifetime: Jeff Goldblum. The late-night show cast a chorus of actors who were all around $500 away from SAG’s minimum earning requirement for medical coverage, and had them don silver wigs, thick frames and “rather ravishing” outfits reminiscent of the Jurassic Park actor. This is the second time the show has used its platform to help actors secure health insurance after Kerry Washington directed a similar bit during her guest-hosting stint in 2022.
Meanwhile, Nicolas Cage is also donning a new look. The actor is slated to portray John Madden in David O. Russell’s long-gestating film about the NFL legend, but it won’t entirely be about the coach’s time with the Oakland Raiders. Sources say that the Amazon MGM Studios film will be an origin story of Madden NFL, one of the most successful video-game franchises of all time.
As we head into the weekend, the timeline has provided us with a healthy dose of hilarious tweets to get the good times rolling. Today’s funniest include those about an honest trombone instructor, the real face of goofiness and Paul Mescal’s unwavering commitment to one haircut.
![@luvinthot.14h ... i didn't ask for the attitude i know, its on the house Delivered iMessage 10 1,994 8,217 213K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/7/1135837.jpg)
![Andrew Nadeau @TheAndre... 4h ... Introduced a friend to Parks and Rec but told them Rec stands for Reconnaissance because spies are trying to infiltrate the parks dept. They keep saying they can't tell who the spies are and I just keep going, I know, right?? They're really good! 7 161 5,539 133K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/4/1/1135841.jpg)
![six bomboclart eggs @TheLast... 1d ... I accidentally texted my boss instead of the plug 153 D Daniel > Sounds good Today 10:16AM Yoo I'm finna cop Edited Today 11:28AM Cop what Come in late* I have a doctors appointment Delivered 104 3,297 191K 2.8M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/4/2/1135842.jpg)
![e @totallynotems_.16h ... This girl jumped in front of me in the line at the store and I didn't even bother saying a word cause 5 min ago I heard her tell her friend that her charges just got dropped 280 3,630 99.4K 2.4M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/6/1135836.jpg)
![depths of wikipedia @depths... 14h ... love the citation here WIKIPEDIA The The Anankastic conditional From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia An anankastic(1) conditional is a grammatical construction of the form If you want X, you have to do Y. where Y is required in order to get X, insisting a peremptory conditionate. For example: If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends. 2. ٨ Spice Girls (1996), Wannabe, Spice, Virgin Records 15 522 4,233 103K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/4/0/1135840.jpg)
![big content guy @bigconte... 14h ... imagine having 10 beers and driving this 19 Manish Kumar @manish... . 1d In Baby Driver (2017) While actors were busy performing, the real driver was on top of the car. 10 271 10.9K 539K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/4/1135834.jpg)
![DElterio @NxtDeterio : 23h Jesus of Nazareth: one of you here tonight will betray me Judas Iscariot: 12 936 10.2K 194K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/1/1135831.jpg)
![grovy @grovymango 15h ... Um no I don't. This is a very normal way to relax I wind down by Going on Facebook marketplace. And rotating a mango in my mind You have issues bud 2 88 3,107 35.5K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/9/1135839.jpg)
![slavic princess @missh8ter 19h ... hot guy on the street saw me talking to myself GIF 13 1,115 12.1K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/2/1135832.jpg)
![Austin @adoptedhighway. 11h ... COLLEGE PHOSE what a relief, looks like my social security number is safe and sound! LeakChecker.net Austin 415-39-4523 Search NPD Breach Check. Great news! We don't see your social security number (415-39-XXXX) in the leak. 47 1,229 55.7K 808K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/8/1135838.jpg)
![letterboxd reviews with threat... 1h ... ConnorEatsPants Borderlands 2024 1/2 BORDERLANDS Watched Aug 10, 2024 About 35 minutes into the film, my son Samuel detonated an explosive device he had strapped to his chest, killing himself instantly. LIKE? 3,446 likes 22 854 17.2K 396K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/5/1135835.jpg)
![Syd Divine @SydDivineTarot•1 15h You want to go to spirt with me SPIRIT deviantdore it's time to go 23 3,697 16.7K 598K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/9/1135829.jpg)
![raina @quakerraina. 14h well i just spent an actual dollar of real money on candy crush gold bars because the level was so hard. which I'm hoping triggered some sort of alarm which sends a wellness check to my apartment 6 36 1,502 38.5K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/8/1135828.jpg)
![princess mononoke @coconutwa... :4h ... your job perhaps Gulaboo @aabechuphoe. 9h saw a hickey on my manager's neck today what should I do? 1,045 15.2K 200K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/3/1135833.jpg)
![Zack @credulousexpert-14h If your shrooms guy looks like this, start slow westerosies @westerosies. 1d George R.R. Martin in 70s 9 192 3,037 114K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/3/0/1135830.jpg)
![The Middle-earth Mixer @....15h ... This goes crazy Laocoon of Troy @Laoc... 19h English actor, Anthony Daniels, on a break between scenes during the filming of Star Wars, 1976. 70 4,746 85.3K 2.6M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/6/1135826.jpg)
![Darren Richman @darrenrich... . 19h ... Richman King shit Tomris Laffly Follow ... @TomiLaffly I love THE NOTEBOOK, great film. But referring to Gena Rowlands as The Notebook actress is like referring to Robert De Niro as the Meet The Parents actor. 04:08 . 1 15/08/2024 From Earth .32K Views 37 Reposts 4 Quotes 561 Likes 5 Bookmarks Most relevant replies Ben Stiller @BenStiller. 3h What else was he in? SOURCE 54 18 1.2K del 22K Ben Stiller 7 378 13K 217K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/5/1135825.jpg)
![@stargoddesssage 1d sage what even is that? im gen Z and i dont even know what that is Pablo Rochat @PabloRochat.2d dvd butter CC 1,348 2,206 79.3K 4.4M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/0/1135820.jpg)
![Hannah Posts @HannahPosted 1d ... Middle one's gotta be a pregnant morton salt girl X Cookie Cutter Identificati... Join ... Stacy Money 4d We're stumped! 652 1.4K comments 12 shares 64 112 4,873 96.8K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/8/1135818.jpg)
![@heyjaeee. 1 1d With grindr going down & tinder going down I couldn't help but wonder....v when was anyone going to go down on me 49 1,382 15.5K 489K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/3/1135823.jpg)
![Destry @DestryBrod 1d If I had a stalker they would die of boredom and sadness. 36 977 5,459 del 115K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/4/1135824.jpg)
![trevy @chillextremist.21h ... Walking to a destination and acquiring an item feels so good 9 533 3,984 81.5K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/7/1135817.jpg)
![jay @kendallhosseini 19h ... obsessed with him having the exact same haircut no matter what time period he is in @cravemedia_ 1d 6 572 23.1K 500K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/6/1135816.jpg)
![UwUTangClan @Executivejeff1.1 1d ... keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break 10 1,006 8,471 del 151K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/9/1135819.jpg)
![C Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roy... 17h ... That drive-by racism hit like a sniper Drek @UnholyGrailz.19h Cuh....I'm at Fogo de Chão and I go to the salad bar and get watermelon cuz theirs be hittin, why did a white guy walk past me and say Like a moth to a flame??????? 40 793 4,349 162K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/1/1135821.jpg)
![Glowja Cat insta: selfcare... 19h ... Hair not done Icewater D @markmerlot.22h When a woman say I been dealing with a lot lately. What she mean by that? 6,321 15.2K 671K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/2/2/1135822.jpg)
![ava @wownicebuttdude 13h ... My friend just revealed to me that he has 1.4 million points at Dave & Buster's. Не showed me the menu and said Get anything you want. The most expensive meal is 2200 points LES A - HARPE and it E azio frul even 263 2,631 109K del 2M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/5/1135815.jpg)
![maddie @uhquaria 20h ... cuz she's goofy like she wasn't lying Izzzyzzz @IzzzyzzzArt.3d this photo kills me bc how did she even make that face Just now Not me being goofy I- 1 682 26.3K 452K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/2/1135812.jpg)
![Queen Liza @Krystal... .11h ... feep deet DIVING ON SEET DEEP 5 FEEP DEET 56 4,516 35.9K 1.3M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/4/1135814.jpg)
![bonky @shesbonky 19h ... my 10 year old son is about to start trombone lessons this year at school. his band teacher's intro email has me howling! Inbox BAND-0001 - BA... < 10. Remember, you will sound like a sick farm animal when starting to learn your band instrument. You are expected to practice at home a minimum of 80 Minutes Each Week. Consistent practice = less animal noise and more music! 206 773 16.4K 236K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/1/1135811.jpg)
![i like food @messedupfoods-7h ... dream big,. fart loud 20 837 5,089 447K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/0/1135810.jpg)
![Genius Of Lunch @ConorHalo... 4h ... Human connections and owning up to your mistakes CATHAL ME 13:12 I am truly sorry for being hard to get into contact with man I'm just a little all over the place recently That's ok. Did you hear about Hawk tiah 3 167 3,072 44.2K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/1/3/1135813.jpg)
![shreya @shreyabasu003.2h ... Tic Tac respects all women tic tac Tic Tac USA @TicTac... 10/8/16 Tic Tac respects all women. We find the recent statements and behavior completely inappropriate and unacceptable. 5 43 892 17.8K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/9/1135809.jpg)
![noah! @brysonstotter 16h ... me when my google maps ETA goes up 2 minutes: ah well. so much in this life is beyond my control ne when my google maps ETA goes down 2 minutes: no doubt due to my unprecedented skill behind the wheel 10 3,133 45.6K del 640K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/7/1135807.jpg)
![lorna shawty @lornashawty 17h ... me whenever anyone asks about my job: yeah i absolutely love hospitality! every day you get the chance to make someone's day and it's incredibly rewarding:) me 0.5 seconds into a shift: they should invent a slur for customers 10 494 5,842 88.7K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/8/1135808.jpg)
![harper! @marigoldmoths. 1d did yall know that chewy sells estradiol Have a Chewy account? с Sign in to quickly add sign In prescription details. HOLD chewy Pharmacy RX Estradiol (Generic) Tablet 2-mg Give as directed **Koop out of reach of children.** Strength: 2-mg 1-mg 2-mg Count: 30 tablets 1 tablet 30 tablets 60 tablets 90 tablets 98 833 20.6K 1.6M](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/6/1135806.jpg)
![8N @aidenstwt.11h quitting shampoo before cigarettes is crazy cig @cignewtons_.1d Haven't shampooed my hair in 3 years that shit a scam WAY ONE 56 2,284 56.2K 936K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/7/9/9/1135799.jpg)
![Sam Jones @SamJonesMCR 20h ... Spent the evening varnishing my Grandparents dining room floor. Here's a list of things they offered me in the three hours I was there... - A pork pie - A cup of tea I A glass of milk I A bacon sandwich A Cricket bat A Drinks cabinet A diet plan because I'm 'looking big' - The number of a landscape gardener A picture of Josh - Training to be a wrestler Chocolate - A small statue of a boat in a bottle A pair of trousers Six muffins - Four muffins At least take](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/7/9/6/1135796.jpg)
![Philly Sports Sufferer @mc... 13h ... Blowing a five run lead and then holding a hawk tuah press conference is absolute insanity ets.com citi Mets SNY SNY citi com FIELD C ets.com citi M NY SNY citi 55E Ma CI 137 696 13.3K 964K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/2/1135802.jpg)
![Charlie James @malecowgirl - 1 11h ... couldn't help but notice you've barely touched the dessert i strong-armed you into agreeing to split with me 111 1,844 del 36.5K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/3/1135803.jpg)
![Gravantus @Gravantus - 8h ... The more things change, the more they stay the same... Across the Ages Pod @_A... -23h 4th century ВСЕ Greek mug. The Etrusca ROSS Museum of Villa Giulia. SD 31 3,859 37.7K 586K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/0/1135800.jpg)
![sheeva @sheevasmells 16h ... this pre show curtain at the idina menzel concert tonight is sending me into outer space GENTLE defiant Brave SENSUOUS Feisty sexy heartbreak stuck wife GEMINI baughter sister mother fiERCE GestüNe RIDICULOUS QUEEN hold gorgeous JOY RAW PASSION HOT IRREVERENT Mast hopeful Mes ALIVE delicate TOUGH Mother SHAME LONELY HELPLES'S Aw NG DIVA ebirth 97 573 17.2K 550K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/4/1135804.jpg)
![pehrse @cheikhspire.19h ... you meet someone you thought would be normal and then you learn that they enjoyed those immersive van gogh experiences 7 363 3,978 del 119K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/7/9/7/1135797.jpg)
![cam @cammunism_.16h ... shaving below the belt before meeting a buddy for a beer 6 287 6,273 105K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/7/9/8/1135798.jpg)
![r. @xxoorita 2h im accepting new friends applications btw bae do u go thrifting? Today 3:55 PM yes !! why? bc i can smell it 1777 6 25 811 15.4K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/1/1135801.jpg)
![Will McCrabb @mccrabb_will - 11h ... Alien was the first film to have a spaceship crew member look like this. 155 1,346 19.5K 421K](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/8/0/5/1135805.jpg)