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46 Crazy Scenes From Comic Books That Would Never Fly on the Big Screen

August 18, 2024

For a despondent loner, Batman sure gets a lot of action.

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46

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS YOU SHOULD SEX AND THE MONEY I... 60.BUT is THAT AND I USE IT THE WAY I SHOULD WANT TO use IT. PROBABLY WHAT YOU WANT TO DO? 60. LOOK. YOU DON'T HAVE TO- I KNOW I DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING. I DO WHAT I WANT WHEN WOMEN DO IT FOR FREE. THEY'RE CALLED SLUTS. WHEN THEY DO IT FOR MONEY, THEY'RE CALLED WHORES. SO WHAT DO THEY CALL YOU? Before Watchmen: Nite Owl #3 TWILIGHT LADY & NITE OWL II The two team up to investigate a case together, and then team up again — Source

45

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Tale WE ARE NOW WHOLE rc AND LIKE OUR .. CREATORS, READY TO ATTAIN OUR OWN LEAP OF EVOLUTION... BATMAN & SUPERMAN cry while watching tentacle sex The heroes have a tender moment together as two alien tentacles leech on human emotions, have sex, then die in their species' mating ritual. It's oddly beautiful, with an emphasis on odd. THEY...THE ... AND WE THANK GLOWING WITH the RETORNED AOKAS or YOU, PROFOUNDLY, THEY BECOME LIVED... EMOTION, THE TWO MEN WEEP... THEN TURN AND EMBRACE OVER THE ASHES O FOR GRANTING A SPARKLING DUST WHICH us — Source

44

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Titans #16 HE HS MY SOUL MATE : WILL LOVE HIM TO THE END OF MY DAYS AND : BELIEVE I WILL ALWAYS M IN HDG HEART NIGHTWING & STARFIRE RECENTLY, WE MADE : CAN GEE PASSIONATE WHERE DONNA LOVE MIGHT TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY, KORY. In this issue we are treated to a timeline of the relationship between the two lovebirds, culminating in a steamy encounter. OH. YES НА, НА YES YOU MYUUDDRESTAND WE WERE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF A DEMONIC ENTITY THE CHILDREN OF TRIBON MADE US SUCCUMB TO DESRE CRACKED.COM — Source

43

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Freedom Fighters #6 PHANTOM LADY & BLACK CONDOR The two Freedom Fighters have a quickie, with Phantom Lady practically perched on Black Condor CRACKED.COM — Source

42

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Swamp Thing #34 POK ABIGAIL ARCANE eats SWAMP THING'S sex tuber Since Swamp Thing lacks the necessary anatomy, he creates a potato-like growth on his body for his girlfriend to eat and have a sexy, psychedelic trip. S'LIKE A SORT OF PERFUME TASTE... CRACKED.COM LIKE CARDAMOM... — Source

41

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS The Dark Knight Strikes Again SUPERMAN & WONDER WOMAN Supes takes Diana to the skies for some divebomb sex. It ends with her passionately telling Clark, I'm pregnant again. GRACKED.COM — Source

40

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS DC Hellblazer #60 TALI & CHANTINELLE Heaven and Hell collide in the sinful sense when angel Tali and devil Chantinelle make love and conceive a child together. CRACKED.COM — Source

39

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS NITE OWL II & SILK SPECTRE II Dan and Laurie celebrate their post-save-people- from-a-burning-building superheroics with some love making - with the costumes on, as it helps Dan's little owl stay ready for lovin'. Watchmen #7 CRACKED COM — Source

38

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Teen Titans Vol. 3, #35 WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? RAVAGER & & ROBIN Ravager just goes for it and throws her naked body onto Robin. Things would get cut short when Kid Devil interrupts (probably for the best). I'VE BEE WAITING A NIGHT. CRACKED.COM — Source

37

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS NO WE HAVE SILK SPECTRE II & DOCTOR MANHATTAN & DOCTOR MANHATTAN Laurie is being massaged by multiple Manhattan hands, and gets a little wigged out by Jon replicating himself for her pleasure. AAAAAA Watchmen #3 GRACKED.COM — Source

36

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS THE M BETTER OFF WITHOUT EVEN SHE THEM. HAD THE GOOD CATMAN'S SENSE TO QUIT GOING SOFT BEFORE I SHUT DEADSHOT RAN HER MOUTH BACK TO HIS SUICIDE FOR GOOD. SQUAD THE MINUTE WE RETURNED FROM HARLEY. AZERBAIJAN. EVEN THAT CLOWN- GIRL-- Secret Six SCANDAL & KNOCKOUT Homosexuality and bisexuality weren't really normalized in DC comics until Gail Simone and Dave Eaglesham's Secret Six. While this scene is post- coital, it was particularly taboo for two woman characters to be casually nude and affectionate toward each other in mainstream comics. YOU KNOW I THOUGHT I'D — Source

35

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS I'M SO SORRY I WASN'T HERE FOR YOU. IF I'D KNOWN, I WOULD'VE BEEN BACK IMMEDIATELY. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? THERE'S SOMETHING G-GRAYSON, I NEED TO JU-JUST SHUT UP TELL YOU... AND HOL-HOLD ME! ORACLE & NIGHTWING Nightwing Annual #2 SSHHHHHH. In a series of panels showcasing the characters' relationship over time, there is a passionate love scene saucier than your typical superhero fare. CRACKED.COM — Source

34

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Green Arrow Vol. 2, #34 GREEN ARROW & BLACK CANARY Ollie and Dinah try for a child in a scene which is pretty risqué for 1990 superhero books. YES. DC . CRACKED.COM — Source

33

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS CHEATER. LISTEN, MIDNISHTER... I'M Midnighter & & Apollo #1 SORRY. I'VE BEEN WANTING TO-- I NEED TO... TODAY. MIDNIGHTER & APOLLO The couple take a break from washing dishes to make love in a passionate yet character- developing series of panels. EXPERMMENTED ON YOU. TOOK YOUR MEMORY. MADE YOU A FIGHT MACHINE. PERFECTED YOU FOR MURDER, I KNOW YOU KLL. AND I HAVE, TOO... BUT WHAT THOSE KIDS SAW. HOW YOU DO IT. WHEN YOU CHOOSE TO... ...IS KILLING ALWAYS THE SOLUTION? GRACKED.COM — Source

32

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Suicide Squad #3 HARLEY QUINN & &DEADSHOT The two take a break from risking their lives and have a conjugal visit of their own. While clothed, it's a pretty aggressively passionate scene. THIS REMINDS ME OF A JOKE ABOUT A CLOWN CAR... CRACKED COM — Source

31

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS Damian: Son of Batman BATMAN & TALIA AL GHUL A scene features both Bruce and Talia fully naked and going to town. We guess they aren't using protection, because... well, look at the title. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS CONSIDER YOURSELF TOLD. All Star Batman & Robin BATMAN & BLACK CANARY In one of the most bonkers moments in comic book history, Batman and Black Canary have aggressive, masks-on sex on a pier while their enemies burn to death in a nearby building CRACKED.COM — Source

29

SEX SCENES IN DC COMICS an - NATURAL - 100% GUAM R /N Catwoman #1 BATMAN & CATWOMAN This panel in the New 52's comic caused a bit of controversy, but readers eventually figured that a rooftop romp between the two was totally canonical. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

HOW YOU HAD BEEN POISONED WITH SPIDER-MAN: REIGN RADIOACTIVITY! HOW YOUR BODY SLOWLY BEÇAME RIDDLED REVEALS THAT WITH CANCER! MARY JANE DIED OF RADIATION POISONING I DID. FROM SPIDEY'S I WAS...I AM FILLED WITH RADIOACTIVE TOXIC SPERM. BLOOD. IN THE STORY, SPIDEY IS AN OLD MAN EXPRESSING HIS REGRETS TO MARY JANE'S CORPSE. AND NOT JUST BLOOD. EVERY FLUID. LOVING ME... TOUCHING ME... LOVING ME KILLED YOU! CRACKED.COM Spider-Man.Reign 2006 — Source

27

WHEN LEX LUTHOR WAS A TEENAGER, НЕ WORSHIPPED SUPERBOY. LITERALLY. WITH A STALKER WALL AND EVERYTHING. ONE DAY THERE WAS AN ACCIDENT IN HIS BOY GENIUS LAB, AND SUPERBOY SWOOPED IN AND BLEW OUT THE FIRE. SOMEHOW THAT CAUSED A CHEMICAL REACTION THAT MADE LUTHOR GO BALD. WHAT GOOD LUCK! SWIFTLY, THE BOY OF STEEL HURTLES DOWN INTO SUPERBOY IS FLYING HELP ACTION... BY ON PATROL! SUPERBOY. LUTHOR'S INSIDE THAT FLAMING ALCOVE! I'LL EXTINGUISH HELP!! THE BLAZE WITH A MIGHTY SUPER-PUFF OF BREATH! AS THE FLAMES VANISH, SUPERBOY ENTERS THE BUT AFTER THE BOY OF STEEL DEPARTS DAMAGED ALCOVE, EXPECTING LUTHOR'S — Source

26

WHEN THE WHILE ACROSS THE PACIFIC OCEAN. ANOTHER SOCIETY IS MEETING:A SOCIETY WHOSE IDEALS ARE JUSTICE FAR REMOVED FROM THOSE OF THE BLACK DRAGON -THE JUSTICE SOCIETY- NEWLY COMMISSIONED JUSTICE BATTALION! LEAGUE OF FELLOW MEMBERS- WONDER WOMAN, HAS VOLUNTEERED TO AMERICA BE OUR SECRETARY WHILE WE ARE AT WAR: -NOW FOR BUSINESS! ADDED WHAT BUSINESS HAVE WE, BUT THE WONDER WAR? WOMAN, IT WAS AS A SECRETARY. THIS IS IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT THE WHO FIRST TIME THE WANTS JSA MET WONDER COFFEE? WOMAN, SHE HAD JUST SINGLE- HANDEDLY TAKEN DOWN TWO LANDING FORCES OF JAPANESE SOLDIERS WHO — Source

25

WONDER WOMAN ONCE REFERRED TO JAPANESE SOLDIERS AS LITTLE YELLOW DOGGIES. COME ALONG LITTLE YELLOW DOGGIE! YOWP. 4 AND WHEN SHE LEARNS THAT THE SOLDIERS USE THE EXPRESSION SAVE FACE, SHE DRAGS THEM THROUGH THE DIRT, FACE-FIRST. CRACKED.COM — Source

24

WHEN SHE ARRIVED ON EARTH IN 1959, SUPERMAN DUMPED SUPERGIRL INTO AN ORPHANAGE. SUPERGIRL IS SUPES' TEENAGE COUSIN, WHO SOMEHOW MANAGED TO SURVIVE THE DESTRUCTION OF KRYPTON. INSTEAD OF PUTTING HER UP IN, SAY, THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, SUPERMAN TOLD HER SHE WASN'T READY TO BE A HERO, AND DROPPED HER OFF AT THE MIDVALE ORPHANAGE TO GET RAISED. OH, HOW THRILLING, NO, KARA! YOU'LL NEED SUPERMAN! LONG PRACTICE BEFORE CAN I BEGIN MY YOU CAN USE YOUR SUPER-CAREER SUPER-POWERS PROPERLY RIGHT AWAY? MEANWHILE, THIS ORPHAN- AGE WILL BE YOUR HOME! MIDVALE Go Forward ORPHANGE CRACKED.COM 5 Action Comics #252 — Source

23

SUPERMAN DECIDED TO FIGHT CRIME BY DESTROYING POOR PEOPLE'S HOMES. IT'S NOT ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT THAT YOU'RE DEUN- SUPES CAME QUENT-- IT'S THESE SLUMS TO THAT - YOUR POOR LIVING CONDITIONS - IF THERE CONCLUSION WAS ONLY SOME WAY I WHEN НЕ COULD REMEDY IT--! APPREHENDED SOME KIDS COMMITTING PETTY CRIMES. НЕ DECIDED THAT THEIR LIVING CONDITIONS WERE TO BLAME. UILDING AFTER BUILDING CRASHES BEFORE HIS ATTACK! THEN HERE'S A JOB FOR IT! - WHEN I FINISH, THIS TOWN WILL BE RIO OF ITS FILTHY, CRIME- FESTERING SLUMS! SO НЕ SENT THE KIDS HOME TO EVACUATE THE NEIGHBORHOOD, THEN НЕ — Source

22

IN SUPERMAN, INDIAN CHIEF, SUPES TRAVELS BACK IN TIME TO PERSUADE THE EARLY NATIVE DWELLERS OF METROPLIS TO SELL THEIR LAND TO THE WHITE MAN. НЕ DOES THIS TO PREVENT A MODERN-DAY DESCENDANT FROM HAVING A CLAIM TO THE LAND. CRACKED.COM All-StarComics_8148 1950 — Source

21

IN THE COMIC BOOKS, SUPERGIRL HAS A FLYING HORSE NAMED COMET, WHO HAS A HUGE CRUSH ON HER. НЕ LAMENTS TO HIMSELF THAT HE'D GIVE UP ALL OF HIS SUPERPOWERS IF ONLY НЕ COULD BE A MAN SO THE TWO OF THEM COULD HOOK UP. IF I WERE A MAN... IF I WERE FREE TO TELL HER OF MY REAL FEELINGS, FOR A GIRL LIKE THAT, I'D EVEN GIVE UP ALL MY SUPER-POWERS! CRACKED.COM 2 Action Comics #292 1962. — Source

20

SPIDER-MAN ONCE GAVE BIRTH TO HIMSELF. A VILLAINESS CALLED THE QUEEN TURNED PETE INTO A SPIDER BY KISSING HIM. YADDAH YADDAH, НЕ DROPPED DEAD, AND THEN BURST OUT OF HIS ARACHNID CORPSE AS A HUMAN. AH-UHKK! RRTT FULL-GROWN, AND WITH ALL HIS MEMORIES. GRACKED.COM Spectacular Spider-Man #20 2003. — Source

19

WHEN НЕ REFUSED TO SIDE WITH HIM AGAINST SUPERMAN, BATMAN ERASED ROBIN'S MEMORY AND SENT HIM BACK TO THE ORPHANAGE. THE STORY TAKES PLACE IN A TIMELINE WHEN BATMAN THINKS SUPES KILLED HIS R PARENTS. WHEN ROBIN REFUSES TO GO ALONG WITH BATMAN'S CRAZY REVENGE SCHEME, SHIT GETS REAL. FURIOUS, BATMAN BREAKS THE PARTNERSHIP AND AND SO DICK GRAYSON GOES TO AN ORPHANAGG AND A GRIM BATMAN TAKES STEPS TO PROTECT HIS IDENTITY-SECRET: STARTS ON HIS CAMPAIGN OF VENGEANCE...ALONE! I'M TAKING EVERY YOU WILL FORGET EVERYTHING ABOUT ME... FORGET THAT YOU WERE EVER ROBIN ! YOU'LL REMEMBER SCIENTIFIC INSTRUMENT THAT MIGHT — Source

18

DON'T WORRY! BUT LIPON REACHING THE CHAMBER THE X-MEN SUDDENLY STOP IN THEIR TRACKS RESPECTFULLY, AS AS THOUGH I THEY SEE... I COULD HELP DON'T WORRY, SIR! REMEMBER WORRYING ABOUT HOW WELL YOU'VE TRAINED us! BE CAREFUL, MY THE ONE I LOVE! T BUT I CAN NEVER PROFESSOR ERS TELL HER! 2 HAVE AY NO RIGHT! NOT MAY WHILE I'M THE TO LEADER OF THE X HAD THE X-MEN. AND CONFINED TO THIS WHEEL- HOTS FOR CHAIR! JEAN JEAN GREY GREY WHEN SHE WAS 15. I AM WHAT WAS. WHAT I-- IS, WHAT WILL BE-- AM-- IN FACT, BEFORE XAVIER — Source

17

JFK POSED AS CLARK KENT IN A 1964 ACTION COMIC. IN THE STORY, НЕ KNOWS SUPES' SECRET IDENTITY, AND HELPS HIM OUT BY POSING AS CLARK KENT AND MEETING WITH SUPERMAN. DISTURBINGLY, THE COMIC HIT THE STANDS AFTER KENNEDY'S ASSASSINATION. I REALIZE THAT, SIR!I KNEW I WASN'T RISKING MY SECRET IDENTITY WITH YOU! AFTER ALL, IF I CAN'T TRUST THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES WHO CAN I TRUST? THE END CRACKED.COM Action Comics #309 1964 — Source

16

BACK IN THE 'GOS, THE FANTASTIC FOUR FACED THE HATE MONGER, A VILLAIN WHO SHOT HATE RAYS AND WHEN THE WORE A FOUR FINALLY UNMASKED HIM, PURPLE НЕ TURNED OUT TO BE A CLONE OF KLAN HOOD. ADOLF HITLER. AND THEN .AS THE CONCEALING BUT HE'S I CAN'T ADOLF HITLER!THE MAD HOOD IS LIFTED... BELIEVE IT!I SUPPOSED FEUHRER! THE MOST EVIL TO HAVE JUST CAN'T! HUMAN BEING THE WORLD IT AND YET, BEEN HAS EVER KNOWN! CAN'T IT FITS! KILLED BE !IT ITALL YEARS НЕ LOOKS TIES IN! JUST AGO! THE THE HATE-RAY MUST JUST LIKE AIN'T WHOLE HIS PICTURES! HAVE — Source

15

AUTHOR TOM WOLFE HAD CAMEOS IN DR. STRANGE AND THE INCREDIBLE HULK. WHAT'S THE WOLFE HAD BRIEFLY MATTER, REFERENCED DR. DOC? STRANGE IN HIS HAVEN'T GOT A SECOND FOR OLD BOOK THE ELECTRIC FRIENDS AND KOOL-AID ACID JOURNALISTS? TEST, SO MARVEL GAVE HIM A CAMEO AS A FRIEND OF DR. STRANGE. DON'T WORRY... I WON'T ASK FOR ANY FREE THEN НЕ APPEARED IN AN ISSUE OF THE ASPIRIN! INCREDIBLE HULK THAT WAS BASED ON том! ONE OF HIS ESSAYS. IT'S ABOUT A TOM GROUP OF RICH LIBERALS THROWING A WOLFE! PARTY TO BENEFIT THE HULK. CHARRUMPH! HULK. I NEVER DON'T — Source

14

WHEN BEN (THE THING) IS KILLED, THE FANTASTIC THREE GO TO HEAVEN TO RETRIEVE HIM, AND MEET GOD... Well? YOU coming or ...and there ...WHO TURNS are plenty of stories still left Wh--? in you. OUT TO BE A Aw nertz. CARTOONIST. FIRST НЕ DRAWS BEN BACK INTO EXISTENCE, AND THEN НЕ DRAWS HIM BACK INTO THE THING. GRACKED COM Fantastic Four #511 2004 — Source

13

DAREDEVIL ONCE BROKE INTO A PRISON HOSPITAL SO НЕ COULD FORCE BULLSEYE TO PLAY RUSSIAN ROULETTE. DD IS THERE TO AVENGE ELEKTRA'S DEATH AT THE HANDS OF BULLSEYE, WHO IS NOW PARALYZED. НЕ ALTERNATES FIRING HIS GUN INTO HIS OWN HEAD AND BULLSEYE'S. AFTER FIVE MISSES, НЕ AIMS SHOT #6 AT BULLSEYE'S HEAD. AND I GUESS THAT'S WHAT ITALL COMES DOWN TO BULLSEYE... WHEN I FIGHT YOU. AND BEAT YOU AND KNOW DEEP IN MY HEART THAT I'M RIGHT IN WHAT I DO... KLIK MY GUN HAS NO BULLETS. SURPRISE. NO BULLETS. CRACKED.COM Daredevil #191. 2009. — Source

12

HE GIANT TRIES TO BREAK BATMAN ONCE USED THE EVER-TIGHTENING ROPE! THE BAT PLANE TO LYNCH A MENTAL PATIENT. AN EVIL SCIENTIST A FEW MOMENTS LATER... GAVE THE PATIENT HE'S PROBABLY BETTER OFF THIS SUPER-GROWTH WAY SERUM, TURNING HIM INTO A HANDY HENCHMAN, MUCH AS I HATE TO TAKE HUMAN LIFE I'M AFRAID THIS TIME IT'S 4 NECESSARY! BATMAN GUNS DOWN THE TRUCK HE'S RIDING IN, THEN ROPES THE GUY AND FLIES OFF WITH HIM DANGLING THERE. 5 THE CAPPER? BATMAN HAD AN ANTIDOTE TO THE SERUM. MAT... TAT TAT GRAGKED.COM Batman #1 1940 — Source

11

IN 1989, BATMAN SQUARED OFF AGAINST A VIGILANTE CALLING HIMSELF ANARKY. НЕ SPOUTED ANTI-ESTABLISHMENT CATCH- PHRASES AS НЕ ATTACKED THE RICH. CLOSE COME ON OUT -KIDI 'Afr НЕ TURNED OUT TO BE A 12-YEAR-OLD BOY WEARING A FAKE HEAD AND SHOULDERS. CRACKED.COM Detective #608 1989 — Source

10

ANGEL AND HUSK HAVE AIRBORNE SEX IN FRONT OF EVERYONE, IN UNCANNY #440. THEY FLY UP INTO THE AIR WITH THE X-MEN AND HUSK'S MOTHER WATCHING, AND THEIR CLOTHES RAIN DOWN ON THE ONLOOKERS. WOLVERINE CATCHES HUSK'S DRESS, AND MOM AVERTS HER EYES. Oh, my. Ido not want to see this. CRACKED.COM Uncanny X-Men #440 2004 — Source

9

FOR A TWO-YEAR PERIOD IN THE 90S, THE SPIDER-MAN UNIVERSE WAS CRAWLING WITH SPIDEY CLONES. AT ONE POINT THERE WERE SIX SPIDEYS SCURRYING AROUND. IT WAS CALLED THE CLONE SAGA, AND EVEN CROSSED OVER INTO THE ANIMATED SERIES. CRACKED.COM — Source

8

IN TEEN TITANS #36, ROBIN AND WONDER GIRL MAKE OUT WHILE LYING IN A PUDDLE OF SUPERBOY. ROBIN'S BEEN TRYING TO CLONE SUPERBOY, WHO DIED A YEAR AGO. IN FRUSTRATION НЕ SMASHES HIS CLONE TANK. WONDERGIRL HEARS THE CRASH AND COMES TO CHECK ON HIM. LONG STORY SHORT, THEY WIND UP BLUBBERING AND KISSING, SINKING TO THE FLOOR INTO THE PUDDLE OF WHATEVER ROBIN WAS GOING TO CLONE SUPERBOY FROM. CRACKED.COM Teen Titans #36. 2006. — Source

7

ORSON WELLES APPEARED IN SUPERMAN COMICS, AND PAIRED UP WITH SUPES TO FIGHT NAZI MARTIANS. WELLES FLIES TO MARS ON AN EXPERIMENTAL ROCKET AND DISCOVERS THE HITLER-INSPIRED MARTIANS PLANNING TO INVADE EARTH, AND RADIOS FOR HELP. SUPES POPS OVER AND THE TWO OF THEM SORT THINGS OUT BY USING THE MARTIAN LEADER'S UNCONSCIOUS BODY AS A VENTRILOQUIST DUMMY. INSIDE THE PALACE OF MARTLER, RULER OF MARS... ...I ADMIRED YOUR HITLER AND HIS NAZIS. I AM MARTLER, AND WITH MY SOLAZIS I WILL BLITZKRIEG THE SOLAR SYSTEM! I WILL START MY CONQUEST WITH EARTH, FOR IF YOU HAVE URANIUM WHICH WE — Source

6

IN 1961, SUPES MARRIED LOIS LANE AND KEPT HER CAPTIVE IN THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE, UP AT THE NORTH POLE. - - НЕ BUILT HER A BULLETPROOF СУЕТ ODDLY TRANSPARENT) BUBBLE CAR TO GO SHOPPING IN, AND SHE HAD A FLOCK OF SUPERMAN ROBOT CLONES TO KEEP HER COMPANY, YET SHE WASN'T HAPPY. THE CAPPER? НЕ STILL DIDN'T TELL HER HE'S CLARK KENT. CRACKED.COM Superman's Girl Friend Lois Lane #25 1961 — Source

5

HAHHAHA- HAHAHA! IT'S A SPIDER !! IN THE MANGA VERSION OF SPIDER-MAN, SPIDEY FANTASIZES ABOUT LETTING EVERYONE DIE. THEN НЕ CHUCKS HIS SPIDER-MAN OUTFIT INTO THE RIVER AND QUITS. CRACKED.COM http://www.mangatank com/manga/spider-man/v1/c3/6-15 — Source

4

IN INVINCIBLE IRON MAN #30, TONY STARK'S IRON MAN SUIT COMES TO LIFE AND FALLS IN LOVE WITH HIM. IT THEN KIDNAPS STARK AND TAKES HIM TO A DESERTED ISLAND, WHERE IT TIES HIM TO A TREE AND TORTURES HIM. TO BE IRON MAN. JUST SAY YOU WILL BE ONE WITH ME - JUST SAY IT AND I'LL SOMEHOW IT FEELS STOP! THAT IT CAN CONVINCE ME TO JOIN IT IN ITS MURDEROUS WAYS. THAT I WOULD JUST SIT BY AND WATCH AS IT PUTS EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE IN DANGER. CRACKED.COM Invincible Iron Man #30 2008. — Source

3

WONDER WOMAN VILLAIN EGG FU IS A GIANT YELLOW EGG WITH A FU MANCHU MUSTACHE WHO SPEAKS IN BROKEN 'ENGRISH.' THE AMELICANS WOULD BE WARNED IF THE LOCKET WERE FIRED AT RONG RANGE! SO--WE WILL WAIT UNTIL THEIR FLEET COMES TOO CLOSE FOR THEM TO ESCAPE ANNIHILATION ! AND OUR SCOUT PLANES LADAR WARNS US THAT WILL BE VELY VELY SOON! HEEEE-HO! HE'S A COMMUNIST WHO TRIES TO TORPEDO THE NAVY FLEET. CRACKED COM Wonder Woman #157. 1965. — Source

2

DEBUNKED SPOON BENDER URI GELLER APPEARED IN AN ISSUE OF DAREDEVIL, НЕ HELPED DAREDEVIL FEND OFF A GROUP OF BAD GUYS BY BENDING THEIR WEAPONS WITH HIS MIND. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU'RE SUPPOSED I HAVE ABILITIES PLEASE OBSERVE BY YOU TO URI GELLER! TO BE AMAGICIAN TO READ MINDS TO MERELY THINKING, GELLER? VOR SOMETHING-- LIFT OBJECTS AND TOUCHING THIS IVE HEARD YOU BEND METAL, AND MOVE THEM, HEAVY LENGTH OF OF YOU. KEYG AND SUCH, PIPE... AND, YES, TO I BELIEVE BEND METAL. NOT A MAGICIAN, to I CAN CAUSE DAREDEVIL, IT TO BEND MY FRIEND.. GRACKED.COM IN — Source

1

...AND WE THANK THEY... THEY YOU. PROFOUNDLY, THEY BECOME LIVED... GRANTING A SPARKLING FOR IN A 1983 COMIC, us SUCH A DUST WHICH SIFTS TO THE PRECIOUS FLOOR.. WORM-LIKE ALIENS GIFT. CRASH AT THE FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE (WHERE BATMAN AND SUPES ARE HAVING A SLEEPOVER), HAVE LOTS OF TENTACLE SEX, THEN DIE. BATMAN AND SUPERMAN CRY. ...ONLY THE END. -AFTER A BRIEF HOUR FEELING, CRACKED COK OF OF BEAUTY TO DIE. World's Finest Comics #289 1983. — Source

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