20 Historical Figures Who Would Be Nightmares in the Social Media Age

‘Diogenes would spend all his time trolling Plato’
20 Historical Figures Who Would Be Nightmares in the Social Media Age

Considering it’s only been around for about .0001 percent of human history, it’s impressive how completely social media has taken over modern life. It’s become the primary method by which we get the news, make friends, connect with professional networks, express ourselves and complain to airlines.

Certainly, if you want to achieve anything as a public figure, you can’t just stay off social media. Unless the eccentric shut-in thing is part of your deal — and it’s a perfectly respectable deal to have — you’re going to have to embrace the selfie. This is also how we tend to find out that our celebrities are the most insufferable people alive.

But imagine how much worse it would be if social media reached back even a little farther into the anthropocentric timeline. You’d quickly realize even the most revered figures of history are nothing but trolls and attention queens in frillier clothing. 

At least, that’s what everyone realized when user realitywut asked r/AskReddit, “Which historical figure would be the most obnoxious Instagram ‘influencer’?”

mollytmartin 6y ago Socrates. Dude loves to stir the pot
Pseudonymico 6y ago Diogenes. Dude would spend all his time trolling Plato.
aliceinwonderland168 . 6y ago Rasputin would be that annoying MLM person
L8nighttalk25 6y ago Alexander Graham Bell. He'd always be the one writing first in the comments.
 . 6y ago I feel like Aleister Crowley would top Jake and Logan Paul in terms of doing crazy stunts to stay relevant.
 6y ago Alexander the Great. Constantly posting Instagram selfies with stuff he re-named after himself
wesevans 6y ago Joan of Arc. Non-stop photos of nature pics inscribed with bible verses and inspirational quotes, but all of her IG stories would be her doing CrossFit.
 6y ago Louis XIV of France, the Sun King. Не was a fashion icon in his day, and his favorite hashtag would be #letatcestmoi
neenamonners 6y ago I'm gonna go with Lord Byron. Не already had the emotional, broody thing going on. I could see him playing a mysterious-and-secretly sensitive fuckboy.
Beeftech67 6y ago Ohhh, good one. Henry VIII, I just picture that fat asshole picking fights with half his followers while trying to bang the other, all while claiming some divine right blessed and showing off his estate...
tlst9999 6y ago Edited 6y ago Cassandra of Troy. She'll post all sorts of weird future prophecies probably about a volcano erupting and destroying New York city. WHY DOES NO ONE BELIEVE ME???!!!
 6y ago Oscar Wilde. His famous quotes would seem pretty douchey as captions on Instagram photos. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars. To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.
Edna_Mode_mood 6y ago Edited 6y ago Queen Victoria She would be one of those mom bloggers/influencers posting perfect happy family pictures, but really she can't stand her kids. Also going on all the time about her hot hubby and how much she loves him.
 6y ago Voltaire. 150 tweets an hour. 4 blogs. An Instagram of him in different wigs. Passive agressive facebook posts about Frederick the Great and Louis 15th. Cleb shots of him with Mme De P as his profile photos.
sodazen 6y ago Edited 6y ago Did someone say Freud yet? Ugh. His page would be borderline creepy to browse. I can totally see him endorsing his washed up but filled with potential psychologist colleagues with their merchandise or product lines, like showing jewelry on a model and going, yeah, shoutout to my patient for being such a sport !! ;) also, fuck jung - #notinvitedtoasorree
PippinIRL 6y ago The first Roman Emperor Augustus. Не essentially invented the idea of mass consumption propaganda for the Roman People so every one of his posts would be humblebrags of his achievements. Check out my new statue, oh the fancy artwork on the breastplate? Yeh that's the Parthians giving back our lost Legionary Standards. Did I mention that they gave them over without a fight? I must just be that intimidating I guess. Oh well guess we can all enjoy ~200 years of unprecedented peace and stability because of my achievements, no biggie #PaxAugusta
aand_Peggy 6y ago Alexander Hamilton. Не publicly published his mistress's letters in the paper because he wanted to disprove rumors about him, and got into fights with everyone. Do you know how much tea he would spill if he had an internet connection? Plus, he completely bankrupted himself to pay for a lavish lifestyle that made him look like he had more money than he did. Не is definitely someone who would take out an expensive lease on a Lamborghini just to get some good selfies with it.
millhows 6y ago Andy Warhol. It'd be constant-1000 new posts a day; too much to process! I'd probably follow him anyway.
inksmudgedhands 6y ago Good Lord, Henry David Thoreau would be HUGE on instagram. Like a 19th century version of today's all natural, all good: the simple life, the real life, hipster-like influencers. Just endless pics of his cabin that end with #thetinylife.
dittozhan 6y ago I recently found out that Walt Whitman published Leaves of Grass, got a positive review from Ralph Waldo Emerson in a letter, and consequently republished Leaves of Grass with that review printed on it. So him. He's got that self-promotion thing down pat.

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