30 of the Worst Times People Were Embarrassed by a Child

‘I don’t like the smell of you!’
30 of the Worst Times People Were Embarrassed by a Child

There’s something about a child’s combined ignorance and perceptiveness that makes them capable of humiliatingly incisive observations. For this reason, it’s acceptable to cry yourself to sleep after being embarrassed by one of them. One Redditor remembers the time she rushed over to help a kid who fell on the playground, only for the child to back away and say, “I don’t like the smell of you!” Unfortunately, the Redditor admits that it “was a hot day,” so the child wasn’t necessarily wrong, which is even more embarrassing. 

A number of other Redditors have revealed the times a kid got the best of them, and all of these would qualify as villain origin stories.

 13y ago Sorta in the same vein, my 3 year old called a black lady at Target Chocolate. Her reaction was the worst possible one...she laughed. And for a fucking month he called every black person we saw Chocolate. 25 ...
LiliBlume 13y ago 6 Edited 13y ago When I was a kid, my mom and I went to the grocery store. As we're checking out, the cashier gives my mom the total, and my mom starts writing out a check. I look at her confused and say rather loudly, But mommy, I thought you said you didn't have any money in the bank??
mxrara 13y ago My sister taught her 5 year old daughter the proper names for genitals. One day when my sister was filling her car with petrol, my niece pointed at a lady near by yelling look mummy, that lady has a big vagina! Everyone heard. The lady had a camel toe 48 ...
 13y ago My dad once told me about the time he took me to a grocery store to just do some basic grocery shopping and I ended up wandering off and started screaming HELLLLLLLLLP as loud as I could when he found me. As I was a blonde fair-skinned kid and my dad was a tall Greek/Italian with dark hair and tan skin, security ended up restraining my dad since they couldn't believe we were related and my mum had to be called over to confirm that I was his daughter. 155 ...
Curious-Back-5491 3y ago My middle was about 7 and we are in line at a checkout and he's reading the magazine titles and he says Mom this says What men really want in bed. What would men really want? Breakfast? Yes, breakfast. Well you NEVER take dad breakfast in bed. The checkout lady is laughing hysterically as is the lady behind me. These 3 boys of mine embarrass me on the regular. 394 ...
SurlyJason 3y ago At a store one day I was stuck by a urgent need to go to the bathroom. Had a 3-year-old with me, so I just hauled him in with me. I gave him my phone, but my pooping was a cacophony of don't sit on the floor! Don't touch that thing! Etc. I created a single, enormous excretion, cleaned up and left. It was fine. Next time we went to a store he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward a bathroom. Come on, dad! I want to see a big poop! 413 ...
dramboxf 3y ago I'm a portly fellow. Coming out of the supermarket about 3 springs ago and a girl scout asks me if I want to buy cookies. I pat my belly and say, Does it look like I need any more cookies? Without hesitation the little she-devil comes back with, No, but it looks like you like cookies! 440 ...
1980pzx 3y ago My older daughter(5years old at the time) and I were over at my girlfriends (wife now) parents house when we first started dating. They have horses. We were all checking them out and one of the horses farted, without skipping a beat, my daughter said that sounds just like yours daddy. I thought I was gonna die right there. My future in-laws were laughing their asses off but I was not. Funny as hell 15 years later but I was extremely embarrassed at the time. 506 ...
kitskill 3y ago I taught my 11 month old daughter to say Clonk when she fell or ran into something. Her pronunciation wasn't fantastic though, which led to her running into a toy when my parents were visiting and shouting COCK! 569 ...
 3y ago When I was 15 I worked at a concession stand in an arena where I live. These 2, very sweet, girls came up to the counter and started to talk to me. They were 6 and 7. We talked for a good 30 minutes, it was a very slow day. The older one asked how old I was, I told her I was 15. She then looked at me with a disgusted expression on her face and says wow so you're gonna die soon huh? Like you're real old It was more awkward than embarrassing. 645 ...
joseph_hunt1 o 3y ago I don't remember this. When I was very young (2, 3) my dad took to the toilet and when he was peeing I shouted wow dad, your willys massive! And a load of people started laughing. 740 ...
Beign_yay 3y ago I'm a preschool teacher, we were on the outside playground and it was a hot day. A kid fell off the swing-set so I rush over to check on him. He's full on sobbing, leans against my body then pulls away suddenly yelling Eew! I don't like the smell of you! I couldn't even laugh it off 1.1K ...
BrownNpound 3y ago My 4 yr old and I were waiting in line to grab a shopping cart at Walmart when she yells as loud as possible to the crowd of many Daddy, we are at the people zoo you talk about all the time, right? 1.5K ...
Pentacostal-Haircut 3y ago I was on a plane trip with my three year old. Не used the tiny restroom then I did. There was a line. I thought I'd secured the door but hadn't. Не slings the door open to tell me something he was excited about. There I sat in open humiliation for all the line to see. I had to convince him to let me shut the damn door! 1.3K ...
calypsodweller 3y ago My 3 year old son was with me in Macy's at a jewelry counter. I asked the clerk a question. My son asked why does she have such a huge mark on her cheek? The color draining out of my face, I quickly recovered and said, That's where God kissed her. The woman said, Congratulations. That's the best one I've heard so far. 3.1K ...
finiteresource 3y ago My wife was out with my 2yo daughter who pointed at a lady wearing a traditional indian dress and stated piss-ed. The lady probably heard piss-head, but what daughter was trying to pronounce was princess. 2.3K ...
ksandifer138 13y ago My daughter saw a woman at a store who had very large breasts. She yells out MOMMA THAT LADY HAS BIG BOOBIES! WHY YOU HAVE LITTLE BOOBIES?!? 61 ...
CodexAngel 13y ago When my son was about 3, we went to Jamba Juice. It was packed of course. As I was ordering, he skwirmed out of my hand and went about 20 feet away from me, proceeded to walk back and forth throwing his arms around and yelled at the top of his little lungs Fuck, fuck, fuck! Не looked like a crazy homeless person. I was completely mortified. 441 ...
fat_bloated_jesus 13y ago My boy when he was learning to talk, he said cock instead of clock. Не was infatuated with them and would point and scream cock cock. One day we were in Target and went down the clock aisle and the next thing I hear is him screaming There are cocks everywhere. 775 ...
sailorsara e 13y ago At a bakery near my house my sister asked my mom; That man has big bum, how does he fit on the toilet? Не heard and so did everyone else in the store. My mom found a new bakery. 150 ...
 3y ago I don't remember this story but my mom tells it all the time. When I was five my mom took me into the stall in the women's rest room because she had to go. She had been in there awhile and the bathroom had been crowded so she asked me, MindfulMuser, can you take a look and see if there is a big line out there? I excitedly screamed, A LION?!? And flung the stall door open. There was a big line. 4.1K ...
TotallyCrebe . 3y ago . Edited 3y ago I was at work. I worked at the movie theater in my late teens at the ticket booth. A young girl came up with her mom and was like Eww Mom, she's so ugly! Talking about me. She had to have been between 5-7. Her mom hit her and promptly apologized. And the little girl was like, Whaaat? She is. I felt like utter shit the rest of the day.
SurlyJason 3y ago Took my 4 year old swimming. At the completion I took him to the men's locker and getting into dry clothes. Amidst dressing he says loud enough for all to hear, I love your penis, Dad. 4.7K ...
EhlersDanlosSucks 3y ago . Edited 3y ago My child was 3 while we were waiting in a doctor's office. An exquisitely dressed elderly woman was sitting next to us and started talking to my son. Kid is fascinated by all the sparkly jewels and such, and says, I love your shiny necklace, and your pretty earrings...and your yellow teeth.
copycatcactus 3y ago I had some people over and my 4 year old nephew starts shouting is anyone here afraid of spiders? Once he had everyone's attention, he told us all that if anyone was afraid of spiders they needed to leave because he found cobwebs, and cobwebs mean spiders. Не then proceeded to point out every single cobweb in the house to our guests. 4.9K ...
Awkward_Aspy . 3y ago My little brother likes to tell people that my tummy may look like it's full of fat. But it's actually full of love. It's both sweet and awkward. 1.8K ...
Beign_yay 3y ago I'm a preschool teacher, we were on the outside playground and it was a hot day. A kid fell off the swing-set so I rush over to check on him. He's full on sobbing, leans against my body then pulls away suddenly yelling Eew! I don't like the smell of you! I couldn't even laugh it off 1.1K ...
MagalyHoldman . 3y ago When my sister was 9 she shouted white power while waiting in line at dorney park. We are Hispanic. 6.3K ...
amberdowny 3y ago I was bagging a lady's groceries and her kid asked me, why are you so fat? My brilliant comeback was, why are you so short? To which he replied, I'm not short, I'm 5. 785 ...
Zuraziba 13y ago My dad said he was both embarrassed and proud when we were at the supermarket one time and I saw a dumpruck. Me being 1 and 1/2 at the time pointed at it and started yelling dumbfuck, dumbfuck, dumbfuck! Не tried to correct me, but I just kept shouting out dumbfuck! 82 ...

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