33 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, July 17, 2024

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33 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, July 17, 2024

This year’s Emmy nominations were announced this morning, and not surprisingly, The Bear dominated the comedy categories. It earned a whopping 23 nominations, breaking 30 Rock’s 15-year record for the most nominations in a single year. Meanwhile, the Best Actress category proved to be the place for best friends, as Quinta Brunson and Ayo Edebiri will face off alongside Saturday Night Live besties Maya Rudolph and Kristen Wiig, who are nominated for Apple’s Loot and Palm Royale respectively.

As for Best Actor, Curb’s final season scored Larry David a nomination. He’ll duke it out with Only Murders in the Building’s Martin Short and Steve Martin. But more notable in that category is What We Do in the Shadows’ Matt Berry finally being recognized and Reservation Dogs star D’Pharaoh Woon-A-Tai earning his first nomination. Other first-time nominees include Selena Gomez and Paul Rudd, who worked together on Only Murders, and Paul W. Downs for his work in front of the camera on Hacks. On the flip side, the iconic Carol Burnett received her 24th overall career nomination thanks to her work on Palm Royale

The ceremony will take place on September 15th, with a yet-to-be-named host. 

While there’s no Emmy for Outstanding Comedic Tweets, we know some people who would definitely be nominated. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the worst part about watching movies, a battle of the bios and a buddy who is definitely cooked.

elena @gaystargirlco . 1d just sent two emails using my phone 48 10.2K 131K 2.2M
Gryffyn @Misbego... 20h ... My brother just sent me this LOL Divorced dad of 2 gifts. Christ driven and committed to helping people find Jesus t Joined July 2020 243 Followers Wednesday, January 4 He/him in your profile 3:08 PM You accepted the request No wife in your bio 5:48 PM -Seen You can no longer send Direct Messages to this person. Learn 81 6,115 155K 1.7M
The Discourse Lover @Trillbur... 16h ... Your tribe is so fucked lol. Your shaman has ZERO insights, he's just some regular guy. How'd that happen? None of your people blessed with divine madness? 51 2,547 25.4K del 631K
Nick Prueher @nickprueher 22h ... My new thing is making fake magazines and leaving them in waiting rooms. GIAMATTI'S trailer! NE adidas ide PAUL GIAMATTI'S tratter! Actor 140 Tobolowski gracter Tells AIL ctor WALSHI KAN WALSH Emerido SEURA MUSC KAM S will you be S Emmat our ountiel Fashion Des - with ANN with - - Paymer-mania! DOWD Paymer-manial our puntie? Juley secrets from you favorite City Sticker 200 - break - Fashion - City Sincer Dom & Dairy Mad about ANN DOWD STEVE Done BY you 1 Mac - STEVE! 485 2,666 23.9K 926K
sophie @leggyinbio 1d ... i'm so fucking mad right now i just found out that my computer has been giving me error messages for the past month saying it thinks system32 doesn't exist because THIS IMAGE DIDNT PROPERLY TRANSFER FROM MY OLD PC AND GOT PUT IN THE OPERATING SYSTEM FILES 188 4,983 64.3K 1.1M
Ron Iver @ronnui_ 22h ... My dad: I'm taking you into the city to see a marching band Me: ok My dad: When you grow up would you be the savior of the broken the beaten and the damned Me: ok 11 303 3,699 80.9K
twunk princess diana @promisi... 1d ... Just saw a non-monogamy visibility week post on Instagram. We see you girl I promise 12 714 16.2K 473K
alejandra @mtzxale 19h at the TWISTERS screening and they're playing rain and thunder sounds in the theater, a person in a cow costume is here - this is what cinema is all about folks 45 3,739 56.8K 984K
Turdis L'Szechuan @Cur... 1d ... I used to have a high IQ then I ate at least three xanny bars a day for over ten years and now my brain is Swiss cheese baronvonsavings 09:08 doesn't really seem like something a high iq person would do 2 .09:20 2 91 4,624 98.2K
meggy @dogmatic_shorty- 1d ... I love talking to people. Who knows what they'll say 4 1,195 5,604 del 120K
Sunk Cost Pharisee @Liamjsm 19h ... Women get so mad. A long time ago a girl I was dating and I were arguing and I told her to put herself in my shoes and she did a funny walk and said, These are too big for me and my boyfriend is an asshole. She was still furious tho. She was doing a physical gag apoplectically 10 392 11.6K 243K
Peter Raleigh @PetreRaleigh.1 15h ... I love watching movies. Very few things I love more than watching movies. But choosing what movie to watch? WOATed activity. Bottom of the barrel use of leisure time 63 1,092 11K 286K
Hugh The Wrench Janus MBA 1d ... Is my buddy cooked? Dude It's 330 am At my sisters house And I'm playing cfb 25 I took a break cus I'm bored There is food and beer all over the coucb just jacked off And there's a camera on in theroom I forgot they have dog cameras I'm so cooked tions silenced 183 1,294 53.5K 3.9M
adam mcintyre @theadammci... 21h ... youtube break up vids r so funny cuz what do u mean u posed like this for the thumbnail YouTube Joey Graceffa - 14:30 we broke up Watch > 224 5,587 154K 2.8M
honey @saintpattinson 1d ... this is probably my favorite picture of my dog ever THE BAT W 46 795 23.1K 223K
brooke @b_pruck 1d absolutely nothing sexier than a man locking tf in for trivia night 174 8.7K 102K 4.2M
victoria @vicwingly 1d let it hang sister UNTUCKIT Accus 00 9MIRHE 68 55K 4.5K 922K
olivia @boygirlwife 19h being in public with ur dad is like oh don't mind him he's socially inept and being in public with ur mom is like so sorry about her she doesn't know about empathy 250 20K 189K 3.5M

Image provided by Cracked

jor @jor_nyc 22h ... Claire, it's French TM PARiS 2024 205 14K 139K 3.2M
Joe @balf4our.23h Yes sir Sub-Wait 4 95 2.1K 121K
den without the nis @onth... . 12h ... ase ball Dalgar ONLY lesbian mothman @ver... 1d dislike seeing adult twins in public. feels like they're going to ask me a riddle 376 5,294 126K
Soundwave @LocalSoundwave 22h ... pay per views on here felt like the most important events in human history PKSparkxx II #BlackLives... 1d What y'all know about big screen TVs looking like this? 151 4,565 39.5K 1.2M
naomi @lachancenaomi27-2 21h I got hired to be a waitress at a retirement home. Did one shift and calculated you would make $100+ more at Olive Garden. When I quit the lady said oh we're a nonprofit so I looked up their 990 and told her how much their CEO makes 101 3,385 96.3K 2.5M
Robert Komaniecki @Koman... 1d ... There should be a platinum life insurance policy where you elect to have people post stuff like this after you kick the bucket Trace Adkins @TraceAdkins 17h Oh my God. One of the all-time GREAT vocalists. Joe Diffie was my friend. RIP, buddy. @JoeDiffieOnline 142 495 4.2K Heather Jimenez @Heather75807729 Replying to @TraceAdkins and @JoeDiffieOnline R.I.P. Joe Back in 87, he and I had a one night stand. The cowboy was very well hung. Unfortunately he never called me back. Heaven gained another 10 inches. 5:30 PM-Mar 29, 2020 Twitter for Android 32 Likes hoto/1
zach fulk @zachfulk3.23h Incredible lineup of items he is bringing to camp Harold R. Kuntz @Harold... 23h Hunter Nourzad ... welcome to camp. #Chiefs w HELLO 21 MONSTER ULT KEA 37 856 35.8K 1.2M
Jeff Sharlet @JeffSharlet. 1d ... The daily apple. Every night around 6:30 we walk out to the swamp across the road and deliver an apple to the beaver. 265 1,512 19.9K 548K
Jared Holt @jaredlholt. 1d My wife thought JD Vance was a character on The Office. I will defend this amazing woman from the brain rot as long as I'm able. 27 92 3,292 92.6K
no context memes @weirdd... 5h ... How it feels to verbally explain something funny you saw on the internet + 53055 23 285 3,924 112K
ppp @gIockinmyrari - 1 1d ... Lowkey my grandma died today НА НА what the fuck do you mean by lowkey 82 4,113 83.6K del 1.5M
small madam @Nechiii_ 1d You guyssss!!!!!! My dad kills me Today Money received pop pop 1:23PM Thank youuuu 1:23PM You have continued to drain me 1:25PM Daddy don't talk like that 1:27 PM It's very negative talk 1:28PM 1 UNREAD MESSAGE Do something positive and send it back 1:28PM + 459 5,448 54.2K 928K
@EsOnHerChest-20h Big Mellie ... Peninsula, maybe. INTERIOR PORN @INTER....21h I'm in love with this kitchen island 334 5,403 94.6K 2M
Sunny Jay Real Estate @cleami... 1d ... NFTs for white women yven yvenola12 SAW TAYLO... 2d this is kinda insane.. THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... 2024 2024 2024 2024 2024 2024 16 22 36 30 35 35 user score (20) user score (16) user score (10) user score (11) user score (10) user score (9) THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO. THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... THE TORTURED PO... 2024 2024 2024 2024 2024 2024 42 24 20 19 47 75 user score
Dígame Concejal @RSGAT.1 1d ... Love to be writing notes in a legal pad for a closing argument, flip to the next page, and find this: 38 41 1,459 25.2K

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