35 Funny Non-Emergencies That Someone Called 9-1-1 About
‘It was a semi-deflated blow-up doll’
![35 Funny Non-Emergencies That Someone Called 9-1-1 About](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/4/9/2/1116492_320x180.jpg)
Fires and carjackings are obviously emergencies, but there are people out there with different definitions of “dangerous,” like the woman who called 9-1-1 multiple times to report a turtle on her lawn. Or the guy who called because he was worried that his neighbor’s table saw, which was several houses down, would catch wind, blow into his house and injure him.
Other Redditors have remembered emergency calls that turned out to be very serious non-emergencies, and maybe we should have a separate line just for the neurotic among us.
![iamalwaysrelevant . 8y ago I was called to a convalescent home at 3am (I had been sleeping in my ambulance) for chest pain. I arrive to check vitals and take assessment. She was gassy. 83 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/9/1116529.jpg)
![Representative-Ad754 2y ago 40 celcius outside. I received a call from someone calling for a stranger they saw walking down the sidewalk without a water bottle. No distress, nothing. Kid woke up with a night terror. Parents called 911. 25 Share ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/6/1116526.jpg)
![actuallorie . 2y ago There's a black bag on the park picnic table. I just thought you should know. - yesterday 42 Share ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/5/1116525.jpg)
![turbulence17 . 8y ago I was once dispatched to a woman who needed a bandaid, she had no working lights in her house so she didn't want to get up and look for a bandaid. 175 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/8/1116528.jpg)
![ninjasdad 8y ago my mom once called 911 because she thought someone shot at our house when really it turned out to be a firework. in her defense, it was nowhere near the 4th of July, but still 55 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/7/1116527.jpg)
![obsessedwithhippos 8y ago One time around Christmas there was a lady who called 911 because she was convinced her neighbor's were being held hostage and were trying to signal for help by blinking their Christmas lights in Morse code. Responding deputy had a long conversation with neighbor about blinking Christmas lights and how they are not Morse code. 45 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/2/1116522.jpg)
![Buzkilll 8y ago Paramedic here, Once we had a young woman call 911 around 2am saying that her legs were turning blue. Turns out she had worn a new pair of jeans to the club that night. 2.2K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/4/1116524.jpg)
![cold_toast_n_butter . 8y ago A friend of mine once called 911 when when he was a kid because his aunt was having a baby.... At the hospital. 6.7K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/1/1116521.jpg)
![itlookslikeafraggle 8y ago Not me, but my husband who was my boyfriend at the time had to respond to call for the fire department. The lady had burned bacon and it was smokey in her kitchen. I laughed pretty hard hearing it on his radio. 34 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/0/1116520.jpg)
![HeyDep 8y ago Cop here. One time, some guy called 911 because he had multiple women in his bed that he didn't know and who refused to leave. Another time, a woman reported either a fox or a werewolf standing on a street corner. 39 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/2/3/1116523.jpg)
![boxdriver419 8y ago EMT here, I once responded to a man in his mid to late sixties lights and siren. On arrival instead of finding him experiencing abdominal pain like he told the dispatcher he simply had an itchy belly. I get that it itches and that sucks, But do you honestly think this is a good reason to occupy an emergency ambulance? Not only did he make us take him to the ER but asked why we weren't driving with the lights on. Good thing stupid isn't contagious. 1.1K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/5/1116515.jpg)
![Sluggerjt44 8y ago Old man from Palos Verdes near the ocean called because the ocean was too loud and asked if you could lower the volume. Put him on hold for a few minutes and got back on the phone and said I turned the sound of the ocean down sir it should be much better now. His response was ahh much better. 106 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/9/1116519.jpg)
![Dues1987 . 8y ago I had someone a few months ago call 911 to ask if a tablespoon was the big spoon or the little one. 65 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/8/1116518.jpg)
![phoenix25 8y ago Paramedic here. I had a guy who picked his wart at 3am and it was bleeding. That's it. That's the story. 6.3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/3/1116513.jpg)
![RealPokeFan11 e 2y ago An operator visited my internship program last summer to talk about his career and answer any questions about the profession. I asked him this very question, and then he told the story about a stupid lady who called 911 because there was a turtle on her lawn... MULTIPLE TIMES. Share 100 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/7/1116517.jpg)
![greenshields 8y ago . Edited 8y ago Sent to a lady whose 2 year old kid had licked a baby wipe, like touched it to his tongue, then he made a face and went on with his 2 year olds day. Best part was that mum was a nurse and thought it might have 'burned his lungs'. Ridiculous. edit: spelling 314 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/4/1116514.jpg)
![Schloozin E 8y ago Edited 8y ago Responded to a medical alarm (i.e. Life Alert) activation, with the patient not responding to the dispatcher's questions. Turns out it was an old lady who wanted someone to fix her TV. You're goddamn right we fixed it. 205 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/6/1116516.jpg)
![lovethemuffin 8y ago My dad is a firefighter. Не has a regular who calls 911, because they get stuck on the toilet. No, they didn't fall in or get their intestines ripped out by flushing. They are so large that they lose feeling in their legs that they can not get off of the toilet. Не knows the guy by name now, and my dad says he's a pretty nice guy. Не just needs to not sit on the toilet for so long. 220 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/2/1116512.jpg)
![broiled 8y ago Several years ago, when I was a Paramedic for a Volunteer Fire Department, we were dispatched for a possible heart attack. Arriving upon the scene we grabbed all of our equipment and started to run towards the house. We were stopped by the house's owner, who was screaming, She dead!! She no move!!, and pointed towards his car. Не had called 911 because his car's battery was dead. 215 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/1/1116511.jpg)
![lyssian 8y ago Not quite in the same vein, but I worked at a vet clinic that received a report from the local overnight emergency vet for a dog the owners thought was having a seizure in the middle of the night. The dog was diagnosed with dreaming. 525 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/1/0/1116510.jpg)
![slash178 8y ago Briefly shadowed a small town fire department. Lady called in that some dude was impaled by a branch while pruning trees. Rushed over there... it was all makeup. They were shooting a film. All the neighbors had been notified but she forgot apparently. 1.3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/8/1116508.jpg)
![Snaiperskaya 8y ago I got called for a woman experiencing stomach pain, which she calmly claimed was a 10/10. Must have been quite the trooper since her husband drove her 30 minutes across the county (past the hospital and 2 urgent care centers) to let her mom look at it before calling the wee-woo. For someone who had been having unprotected sex for seven months she sure was confident she wasn't pregnant. The nurse who had to explain to her the way these things work was right on the corner of amused and pissed. 1.9K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/9/1116509.jpg)
![wantagh . 8y ago Report of a woman drowned in shallow water off the south shore of Long Island. It was a semi-deflated blow up doll 3K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/6/1116506.jpg)
![Dacino 8y ago Dispatched for a very strange gas-like smell in the backyard. We got there and walked around with our sensors. All levels were normal. Well miss, everything is normal.. What's that smell then? She asks. All we smell is some mulch. She exclaims Is that what that smell is?! They just had mulch put in behind us yesterday. How long is that smell going to be around? Are we going to have to keep our windows closed for that long? I'm sure I could come up with many more, but that one sticks out. + 528 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/7/1116507.jpg)
![ffreudiannipss 8y ago Lady with Alzheimer's called 911 for a spider in her kitchen, but described it as someone in her kitchen. As if that isn't silly enough, the spider didn't even end up being a spider. It was a dead fly on her windowsill. 1.6K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/4/9/6/1116496.jpg)
![SmellTheLoktar 8y ago I'm not the emergency personnel in this situation but I called 911 because I found my neighbor, an elderly lady, lying on the ground outside. She was slurring, unable to get up, and generally dizzy looking. I thought she had a stroke. They got there and were talking to her for a few minutes before telling me that she was just drunk. 1.7K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/0/1116500.jpg)
![Catscatsmcats 8y ago During one of my 24 hr ambulance shifts for EMT basic training we got a call to a Big Lots for a laceration on a finger. It was essentially a paper cut from a rough edge of a chipped candle. I got to practice my EMT skills by applying direct pressure to a non-bleeding index finger, even got to put a bandaid on it. The girl was acting like she could not look at her finger and was going to pass out from all the blood. The gauze strip I held on her finger didn't even have](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/5/1116505.jpg)
![abetterson820 8y ago 20 something year old guy called 911. Не bought new shoes a few days before. They were too tight. His feet hurt. Не was still wearing them when we got there, but I successfully extricated him. 864 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/4/1116504.jpg)
![weepysplash . 8y ago A mother called 911 because her son spilled at bottle of Tide soap and was walking in it. She even called poison control before she called 911 and poison control told her there would be no side effects. The only advantage was the whole house smelled like lavender. 656 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/1/1116501.jpg)
![JamesT3R9 2y ago Drunk people complaining they got the wrong order ar McDonald's. It really is a thing. 173 Share ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/2/1116502.jpg)
![2y ago When my daughter was 5 she spent a week with my dad. Не gave her an old iPhone to play with. Не said he got a kick out of it bc she has been fake talking to someone all week. Well towards the end of the week she handed the phone to him and he played along and said hello. It was a 911 operator! She had been calling all week to chat with them. They weren't mad but wanted to let my dad know that out of service iphones can still call 911. 472 Share ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/4/9/9/1116499.jpg)
![karsizzle 2y ago One caller was concerned for his safety when going outside his house because the neighbor a couple of houses down had his table saw out in his garage and he was afraid the wind would blow the blade over to his house and injure him.. I really need to start writing these down.. Share 5.2K ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/4/9/7/1116497.jpg)
![HeyDep 8y ago Guy moved out into the country. His 1-2 acre lot was surrounded on three sides by farm fields. Come harvest time, he calls 911 and blocks the farmer's access to their field with his vehicle. Wants me to force the farmers to stop harvesting because when he leaves all of his windows open, the inside of his house becomes dusty. 574 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/4/9/8/1116498.jpg)
![Byzantium42 2y ago My grandma used to call 911 to have the fire department being her milk (she lived next to the fire department). She did this multiple times. Eventually the fire chief gave her his direct line and he brought her milk until she came to live with us. She passed away in 2004. My grandma was in early stages of dementia when this was happening, and it was a small town fire dept with a chief who had known her 30 years. 3.9K Share ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/5/0/3/1116503.jpg)
![8y ago Ski patroller here. This kid wandered into the woods off the trail, took off his ski boots, got cold and started walking down hill in just socks, and then shat his pants. Не then screamed bloody murder until we showed up and put him in a toboggan. Не was 100 yards from a restroom. 74 ...](https://s3.crackedcdn.com/phpimages/imageset/4/9/5/1116495.jpg)