37 Funny Ways People Ruined Things As Children

‘I chemically melted a carpet’
37 Funny Ways People Ruined Things As Children

While the source of a parent’s joy is often seeing their child learn to walk or talk, I’d argue that witnessing their first major screwup is equally important. You don’t know that your child is normal until they accidentally light the garage on fire or throw something dangerous into the ceiling fan.

One Redditor remembered the time they used an entire tub of Goo Gone to get gum out of the carpet, resulting in the disintegration of both the carpet and the padding beneath it. Even worse: The process created noxious fumes that almost killed their entire family. Thankfully, everyone lived, and their parents could sleep better at night knowing they had a normal child. 

To that end, other Redditors have revealed the hilarious ways they ruined things as children, including the Redditor who learned that there’s more than one way to weaponize a rock.

 12y ago I burnt my house down when I was three trying to microwave a cookie for an hour, my mom said when she walked up to me after we out of the house I was crying because I really wanted that fucking cookie. 11 ...
takescontrol 12y ago . Edited 12y ago When I was a kid and I was helping my dad wash the car. I wanted to see how much water I could put up the exhaust pipe with the hose. Apparently that's not good for the engine. 11 ...
Reforging_Souls 12y ago When I was three years old, I backed my father's '68 camaro into a tree. 12 ...
 в 12y ago My mom would occasionally make a coconut cake, and this was back in the day when you had to go out and kill your own coconut. (Yes, I am old.) One Saturday I took it upon myself to clean up the kitchen, so I dumped out the dishwater in a glass by the sink. It was the coconut milk she was going to use in the cake. The lack of cake was punishment enough. 12 ...
 12y ago When I was little, I put a cricket through my mom's favorite cookie press from the 1960-70s. Grossed her out so much she threw it away, and was upset about it for years. She finally ended up finding a new one on eBay several years ago to replace it. 12 ...
hamburgaler 12y ago One time I remembered my Dad showing me how you can remove a dent in a ping- pong ball by lighting a lighter underneath it. When I was 8, I tried doing it myself and the ball caught fire instantly. I dropped it on the carpet in my basement and burnt a whole straight through to the cement. I then tried to cover the burn by sliding the TV stand over a few inches, but being 8, I just tipped the entire thing and destroyed a brand new TV. Safe to say, it was a good day.
All_the_other_kids 12y ago Wow I just remembered this. About 20 years ago I was sleeping over at a friends, his mom decided to make us some playdoh ( salt+flour?) anyway we had like 20 pounds of the stuff and decided that to maximize our fun we should throw globs of it into the ceiling fan set on tornado speed. They exploded on impact and as we walked around it stretched the wet playdoh into floor spikes that turned into hard as fuck spikes. They had to tear the carpet out 13 ...
Zeebuss 12y ago My little sister and I were once tossing a beach-ball-sized stuffed Pikachu around the living room. It hit the clock and knocked it down, shattering the glass cover. But the clock still worked. So we trashed the glass and hung it back up. Years passed before my mom finally realized there was no glass cover on it, and was thoroughly confused. 13 ...
 12y ago I chemically melted a carpet once, and almost killed myself. I dropped some gum on the carpet in my room, and 7 year old me decided I could get it out by myself. After trying the typical methods, I went into the garage, climbed a shelf and grabbed the can of Goo-Gone (which is a HIGHLY toxic cleaner). I tried a little dab of it, but the gum still wouldn't come out! So, clearly, the only thing to do, was to dump out the entire can, and let it sit overnight. The next morning, when my parents
ST_Foxtrot 0 12y ago I took a giant flathead screwdriver and stabbed 50ish holes in the roof of our old car. I was fixing it. 14 ...
 12y ago Learned to cook before my spelling was what you'd call excellent. found a little package in the cupboard, of what I though was quick rice, turns out it was quick-rise yeast. I will never forget the smell of boiling yeast water. 14 ...
 . 12y ago I carved my name into the side of my moms Buick with a rock. I shattered my dads truck windshield with a rock. Helped my friend bust his moms windshield with a rock. At least I didn't do like my cousin and write my name in my moms car with the claw end of a hammer. 18 ...
AHill134 12y ago I destroyed countless of my dad's tape measures. I used to pretend they were swords. 19 ...
BandGeekFTW 12y ago I was learning how to walk, and my dads recliner had the foot rest open. I put my left index finger in the little metal V things (at the time they didnt have to be covered) and my dad put the foot rest back. Off came my finger, blood on the carpet, the footrest wont go back down, and i scarred my mom for life. 44 ...
javakah 12y ago When I was 2, there was a baby gate preventing me from getting into the kitchen. One morning there was a phone call and so my mother ran to another room to get it. I grabbed a laundry hamper, turned it upside down against the baby gate, got on top of the hamper and went over the fence. I then turned one of the knobs on the stove, managing to light something there on fire. At that point my mother tracked down where I had gone and put out the fire. And that's the story of my
emeyeteeguy 12y ago When I was in the third grade, I didn't want to do my homework, but if I threw it away, my parents would find it in the trash. So I cut a hole in the back of the couch and stuffed all my homework in there. About ten years later, we're moving and we discover my hidden cache. Very embarrassing. 24 ...
i1vanya 12y ago I thought a candle would burn brighter in the dark... so I climbed under the bed with it. The mattress looked pretty cool as it lit up inside - then once the whole bed became engulfed in flame I started freaking out and ran outside crying waiting for the FD to come. The Fire Chief gave me a nice long lecture after that one... 25 ...
swifteh 12y ago I'm not even sure where to begin! My most memorable screw-up was when I was five. At the time I wanted to be a teacher, so for whatever reason drew a calendar, schedule, and class roster on the living room wall. My parents rented at the time. They were not pleased. 30 ...
 12y ago Not sure how old I was but I was put in time out and was not happy about it. I put pipe cleaner in the electric socket, one end in each slot, and my mother had to run to the breaker to turn the power off. 28 ...
mason2113 12y ago When I was a toddler my grandma and mother went shopping, leaving my grandpa and father to look after me. They ended up falling asleep watching golf and I made my way to my grandparents china cabnet and then to the kitchen. The women get back to a living room full of sleeping adults, a dining room full of my grand parents 25th anniversary china broken to pieces, and to a kitchen covered in flower that I had thrown everywhere. Even though I was the one who made all the mess, my dad continues to catch shit
Malsententia 12y ago I learned how to use a screwdriver at a young age. Few electronic things around the house got reassembled. 29 ...
snapzor 12y ago I was playing with a candle (running my finger through the flame), accidentally knocked it off the table and landed between the table and couch it was near. Dog hair under the couch lignited quite quickly, and burned a decent chunk of the couch and carpet. 62 ...
lululurline 12y ago I once put a peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR and pressed play. I learned that not only do peanut butter and jelly sandwiches have terrible visuals, but that just because something fits in the VCR, doesn't mean it belongs there. 31 ...
Kahr82 12y ago o Edited 12y ago When I was eight I decided that I wanted a club-house, so I sawed a hole in the brand-new drywall in my newly- renovated room, imagining plenty of space between the walls. At the realisation that my hopes weren't true, I hid my dresser over the hole where it remained for another eight years, until I finally came clean. 348 ...
Not_So_easy_eh 12y ago When I was four, I snuck into my mom's bathroom to try out her fancy red nail polish. Instead of putting the polish on my nails, though, I covered the bottoms of my feet with the candy apple red. I immediately ran to show my mom the masterpiece I had created--leaving little red footprints through the brand new white carpeting in my parents' RENTAL apartment. My parents spent that night with scissors trimming the carpet. The landlord never noticed a thing. 39 ...
Stevo182 12y ago A guinea pig. I was about 4 and thought the guinea pig deserved to smell good, so I sprayed it down with deodorant. It died. My sister is five years older than me, I found out she did this same exact thing at the same age with the last guinea pig we had. 158 ...
cheerleader4thedead 12y ago When I was younger I had a stuffed owl. It was like a puppet where you stuck your hand on the inside and could twist its head. Well me and my sister were playing one night and the light in our room was on. We discovered that if we placed the puppet owl over the light that the owl would glow. We did this a few times until we noticed a burning smell. Next thing we knew our mother ran into the room and quickly took off the owl, exposing the fact that the owl had almost
VXX 12y ago My father bought a brand new multimeter and a wire cutter. I couldn't resist and cut the covered wire to the measuring tip in little pieces. Today I work with electronics. 60 ...
AnotherDrunkCanadian 12y ago I used to ruin freshly made cookies. Apparently when my mom finished a batch, I would take a single bite out of all of them. 475 ...
e1r4n 12y ago I was watching TV, sister wanted to switch the channel, argument proceeds, sister pinches the absolute shit out of my arm, I run to chase her brown ass, think i'm some kind of freestyle runner and try jumping over my moms marble table, broke that shit into 2 clean pieces. I got the living daylight smacked out of me. 134 ...
Sevenrue 12y ago Me and my brother were playing with paint thinner in my garage growing up. We would put a little on the floor and start a fire. It was so cool because it spread kind of slow. But one time i dumped about half the tin onto the floor and the ENTIRE floor caught fire. My brother ran out of the garage but i grabbed a towel and started whipping the fire. Surprisingly it worked and my brother runs in about 30 seconds later and throws a cup of water on the floor. Like what the fuck adam?
warr-den 12y ago A bit late for this, but oh well. When I was younger I had a ton of legos. When I sorted through them to find that one tiny piece in the giant rubbermaid container, they would get everywhere. I would have to spend 25-30 minutes picking them up when I was done building. When I was about 10, I decided to find an easier method. I got out the vacuum, changed the bag, and tried to vacuum the legos up. Ideally this would have ended in me emptying the clean bag full of legos into the container,
 12y ago When I was little, I didn't know you had to bake potatoes to make them soft. I thought they were already like that. So, one day, I was hungry, and decided to enjoy a nice, big potato. Well boy was I ever shocked when it was crunchy and disgusting. I didn't want to put this potato with a bite mark in it back in the bag, nor did I want to throw it away and have my mom yell at me for getting into the potatoes. Keep in mind, I lived on a farm, surrounded by woods.
BloodyNora 12y ago A mate of mine was lighting small pieces of paper and blowing them out and putting the pieces in a straw waste paper bin in his bedroom. Needless to say the bin went up in flames. Не kicked it to try and put it out, but this only spread the fire onto his carpet. His solution was t throw his duvet on top. This pretty much put the fire out but there were some glowing embers, so he ran downstairs and grabbed the vacuum cleaner and sucked them up. End result: vacuum cleaner insides melted, duvet burnt/melted,
CarolExMachina 12y ago My sisters and I were pretending to be moles and the garage was our den. We decided to clean our den by shutting the garage door and running the hose through the window. We didn't ruin anything per se but did cause a sloppy mess. Also later I put a hose through the living room window to water the carpet and make it grow. Idk, hoses man. 218 ...
nakedbootleg 12y ago My sister and I (we were ages 7 and 5) washed my Dad's company car with the Brillo pads we found under the kitchen sink. We were so excited to get the car REALLY CLEAN for Dad! When it dried, and we saw the extent of our screw-up, we panicked and just kept wetting it down with the hose. The circular scrub marks weren't so obvious then. I still don't know how my Dad avoided a stroke on that one. 275 ...
DingoMontgomery 12y ago I got a metal detector for christmas once. I wondered if there was metal inside the tv... 11 ...

Tags:

Scroll down for the next article
Forgot Password?