35 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of July 1, 2024

Liza strikes again!
35 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of July 1, 2024

Thanks to an exclusive first look from Vanity Fair, we finally got a glimpse at Ridley Scott’s epic Gladiator follow-up. While the sequel’s official trailer won’t hit screens until next week, the photos set some expectations that have been over two decades in the making. They featured a “pretty gnarly” clash of titans between Paul Mescal and Pedro Pascal, a powerfully regal-looking Denzel Washington, a bird-like Joseph Quinn and the triumphant return of Connie Nielsen. 

One quote pulled from the article pointed out that Mescal wanted to look “big and strong” for the film, which resulted in a Twitter user asking a very valid question: Did Paul Mescal’s mother say that?

That said, the timeline had its knives (swords?) out for more than just the Aftersun actor during this abbreviated holiday week. (Happy belated birthday America!) Other digital burn victims included the man with a name fit for Bridgerton, a movie straight out of 30 Rock and the quick-fire sandwich shop that’s 0-for-2 when it comes to spokespeople.

starrvin @legdayinspo 10h ... passed through here and everyone knew you The Fresh ( ve of Gray FORGOTTEN Summer Vibe enter BOTTOM Wharton St MARUTA - THE - Cals Diagnostic orth Auto Renair 30 1.1K 12K 450K
goo @vulniccura 19h this isn't even a poo crave post oh shes broke fr POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave.23h Lily Allen has joined OnlyFans for feet content. Lily Allen FTSE500 4 6 316 Lily Allen FTSE500 @lilyallenftse500 Seen 24 minutes ago Just here for the shoes P 30 457 26K 763K
mars I the bear s3 @lesbiwankenobi 1d ... he's like the homophobic dog but for straight people 5 570 11K 149K
Frazier Tharpe II @The_SummerMan 19h Bridgerton ass name 21 @21metgala. 1d Sophie Turner and Peregrine Pearson at a polo match. 2 15 456 24K
Abigail Jackson @abigailmarone.2 23h ... The staffers behind the White House's post-debate strategy 66 759 12K del 714K
rhyme @Rhymestyle . 1 19h ... Damn they really went 0/2 so far VNN Victory News Network (VNN) @VictoryNe... . 2 2d  The Subway sandwich chain has officially ended its sponsorship deal with controversial streamer Dr. Disrespect. An internal memo has instructed franchisees to immediately remove any signage depicting the streamer, and to remove his signature sandwich from all menus. GET YOUR VNN GAME ON WITH DR. DISRESPECT'S LUNCHTIME LOADOUT TRY THE NEW Subway Quietly Ends TERIYAKI TERROR LOW FAT Sponsorship Deal with KIDS MEALS AVAILABLE Dr. Disrespect July 1 2024 Tech & Media 114 1.5K 23K 756K
Taylor Salami (Reborn) @SalamiTaylor.2 21h ... I bet your 9/11 is filling out a job application Honest James @JILexander.1 1d This is my Pearl Harbour Zack Snyder Photo - 00 - 21 m Thank you, my friend, for making this happen. #Blessed 8 461 12K 245K
y @ysmammri 8h ... gm to u too Today 09:50 Finna get yo name tatted on my foot So when you piss me off imma stomp so fucking hard on it + iMessage i the i'm t W r q e u i o y p d h a S j k | f g b Z X с V n m x 123 return space 222 19K 1.9K 619K
Margaret Molly Rasberry @RasberryRazz. 1d ... Jon Voight's genes didn't even try thank god. DepressedBergman @DannyDrinksWine-1d A young Angelina Jolie with her mother, 1970s. 58 1.5K 39K 1.9M
төя CHIA @kingtorc. 1d If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighbourhood. 197 12K 114K 3.3M
T @telfezzyt 2d Mind you she's talking abt her sister.... who's a TODDLER Bored +2 Near Poor Sim Scarlett is in the presence of poverty, she can just tell... HAPPY S7,014 33 424 7.9K 258K
Matt @pericopapiii • 1d I always wonder what Latinos in weird ass states be doing. Like fym you're Dominican in Alaska 389 6.6K 67K 2.1M
Tom @tomrmartin 1d Gay guy at club: Ahhh, I look so crazy. I need to put on something to look less crazy- 25 200 3.2K 433K
mary @theoceanblooms-1d ... This tweet is so funny to me for the way it's forcing people who don't even like J. J. Abrams to become shooters for him lol. nebula the secret of us @gotmeovernight - 3 3d there is literally no way you knew JJ Abrams before Gracie unless ur like 50 like be for real x.com/ b4bylonlovers/... 31 399 11K 426K
julian X_X @im_rotting 2d one time i thought this happened to me and then the venue sent me an email with my signature on all the receipts timmygami eyes @deliclit. 3d Credit card got stolen at the rave and they bought 400 dollars worth of drinks 121K 3M 39 4.4K
3 @liIpochaco . 2d ... they put me in instagram jail for calling someone an idiot like ok sorry i didnt realize this is club penguin 7 29 1.1K 34K
Club Butler @thedirtbird - 4h ... Elmo kinda dunked on Shonda's ass here shondarhimes 1d + It's July. How did we get here? 2.6K 221 99 elmo 1d ... Elmo thinks we got to July because June ended! 8.5K 121 307 7 587 8.7K 161K
loud mouth too @hhbackupone 22h Why he at the gas station NAVE CHEENI Wave Check @thewavecheckk.td Lil Baby got the Red Cybertruck Synergy STOP P IF Supergy STOP A Exon - 89 2.9K 11K 625K
alexa @glusong 1d the universe is giving you a sign S م و SEEING SABRINA @ilvedyoufirst.2 2d so my signed vinyl came in like this! does anyone know if i can do anything? 27 805 32K - 876K
a$ap mommy @bongsandbuicks.4d ... :/ Today 2:17PM You kinda look like Marjorie Taylor green i'd rather you just call me a slur Delivered 16 20 1.2K 92K
saturn hope @audrcyz . 3d anxiety in inside 2 303 7.3K 106K 2.4M
OK @shinola90.2d Whoa watch out! This group of 6 guys had 2 to 3 light beers OK each! Roady @roadsoda69420.4d causal beers has turned into a blitzkrieg IH TH TH THEIT an DUIC SC HT ung ROSS 156 2K 73K 4.8M
vicious chihuahua handler @very_foof . 1d did paul mescal's mother write this Mescal wanted to look 'big and strong for Gladiator II Movie 1 93 2.9K 78K
sagey @btwnrevolutions 23h What the hell is DoorDash suggesting me rn + $367 $5.99 Fat & Weird Cookie ( Big Booty Dough S Cookie (5 oz) 7 2.7K 40K 1.3M
nosfy @comfyvampy· 3d your man looks like he drops common loot when defeated 245 12K 87K 3.1M
alondra @alondramaren.2 2d ... i i don't want no man with a social media presence. bye icarly 8 6.2K 35K dJ 986K
Aybee @_abdurrahmaan_.2d ... ? Today hey lol you don't have to reply but this is to disrupt your healing 1:18 PM + 154 5.9K 69K 2.4M
daf @daffytaffy01 - : 3d oomf would kick it with a rat if it had poppers 8 146 994 43K
Sturgeon's Law @Sturgeons_Law. 1d It is not hard to believe that Black Panther lost to Green NYP Book. Brian Rowe @mrbrianrowe.3d Still hard to believe that Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, The Favourite, Roma, and A Star is Born all lost the Best Picture Oscar to Green Book 162 938 42K 2.6M
MartinLuther Lean @xSirLean.2 2d ... Y'all really be idiots man Weed Twitter @ry2tarded . 2d do edibles show up on drug test 28 1.2K 4.3K 218K
rob @SSRI_Binger 1d The fakest movie we've had in a long time Will they make history... or fake it? FLY METO THE MOON 135 407 736K 15K
anna livia @not_a_heather 1d one pro in the kamala argument is imagine hilary clinton living to see a woman president and its not her 402 6K 87K 5.1M
sarah hagi @KindaHagi 8h i i have never touched her recipes bc of how she speaks like a dog that has become human Brodie Lancaster @brodielancaster . 17h Topping their boigas wit chovies makes me feel insane Liked by empschultz and 7,934 others mollybaz i just really feel like more ppl should be topping their boigas wit chovies 5 136 4K 335K
LizaMinnelliOutlives @LiZa... 3h ... Liza Minnelli has outlived Rudy Giuliani's law license. The former NYC mayor has been disbarred. 34 783 6,971 183K
sorrel @Sorrelish . 1 1d You should have to apply for a ukulele license like it's a firearm. ROB KELLAS @RKELLAS - 1d Since that Dua Lipa video is trending, here's our exact same experience at Parklife 2023 loooool 2 24 1.2K 30K 949K


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