30 Funny Stories About ‘That Guy’ at the Office

‘I work with a guy who eats the plastic caps off of water bottles’
30 Funny Stories About ‘That Guy’ at the Office

Every now and then, the workday comes with a little reward — usually in the form of an outburst from “That Guy” at the office. And while, yeah, the concept of somebody being extremely weird isn’t relegated to one gender, guys are the main culprits. For instance, one Redditor cited his elderly Italian coworker who “pretends to pee in wine buckets” in front of customers and prank calls restaurants by saying “Go fuck yourself!” and hanging up. He also smokes constantly and is “never on time.” 

Sorry to say it, but that guy rules. 

Other Redditors have shared the tales of the guys whose antics entertain their workplaces, and it includes a full retelling of Jack Bones and his very large friend.

deefjuh 13y ago Oh We have one. Не is polite and will help you with anything. He'll then ocasianally will drop the Hobby-bomb and if you bite you'll be stuck for at least an hour and he will be a recurring event for the rest of your career there. Не has hobbies. A lot of hobbies. And he'll force it down your throat if he has a tiny suspicion you'll like the hobby in question. Pictures, walkthroughs, talking, babbling etc.
9volt 13y ago One guy I used to work with was an still is terrified of rabbits. We would mail him pictures of a cute bunny eating grass and he would jump and scream like a little girl. Не got very cross about this and went to HR talking about legal action. IT'S NOT FUNNY, GOD DAMN IT!. The bunny mails increased in severity. 31 ...
Caellum2 6y ago I have no idea what this guy does, but I see him daily and he never says hi. Passing in the hallway, walking by each other's desks, dead silence. That's cool, I'm antisocial too, so whatever. But if we happen to be in the restroom at the same time, he can't shut the fuck up. Dude only wants to talk when we're standing at the urinals midstream and dick-in-hand. 44 ...
Bobcat2013 6y ago While we're sitting at lunch she scrolls through her Facebook feed narrating it for all of us as if we give a shit. We just talk over her. 52 ...
Arjaybe 9y ago . Edited 9y ago Karen. She has the be the first to know everything and the fist to tell everybody all the gossip. If somebody disagreees with her on a certain subject, that's it, you are forever (and I mean FOREVER) in her bad books and everything you do will be wrong or gossiped about. shes terrible BUT obviously she pretends that she is everybody's friend, so stupid people like her.
hermyandthor 9y ago Work in an office. We have a woman who tells people that Jesus performed a miracle on her eyes. The miracle? LASIK. She's also a vegan and likes to give out advice on ridding our bodies of toxins through Chinese foot pads or some shit. 74 ...
 9y ago I work with a guy who eats the plastic caps off of water bottles. 34 ...
rickdod3 e 9y ago There is a salesman in the office that tells me everyday that I need to get a hair cut and laughs every time ...I'm bald. 59 ...
n0th1ng_r3al 8y ago At my old job there was a guy called Melvin who had a major foot fetish. And he would openly look at feet on his computer at work. Не would come in early before his shift and spend 3 to 4 hours looking at pics and printing them out. Because of him printing out all that stuff we all got banned from printing and they took the printer out. 9 ...
fully_torqued_ 9y ago I have an older coworker who is close to retirement. We've gone to remediation before because I try to not address him all that much, for fear of getting held up with a long winded story about decades- past. His newest thing is to stand at the edge of my peripheral vision and stare at me, and when I address him, he says, I didn't say anything, and walks away. 171 ...
Costner_Facts 9y ago Ah yes, I think you're referring to Jeff. Не clips his nails at his desk a couple times a week. Is he a werewolf? Не sings It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood almost every morning. And then he says Hi neighbor and I hate it so much. Не farts so much. :( 1.1K ...
drew1111 8y ago We had a guy that worked on the manufacturing floor that would bring in every Christmas, the Peanuts Christmas tree. One year someone stole it and he freaked out at 5AM. Security escorted him to his car to leave and take the day off. Не returned with a new Peanuts Christmas tree, went to his desk and light it on fire in a plant. Не lost his job that day. 25 ...
Metallicreed13 8y ago Edited 8y ago She is drop dead gorgeous, but complete nitwit. She's 28 years old, acts like she's 13. She recently told us that she's afraid of pooping at home around her boyfriend so she tries to poop at work. So afraid of pooping at home that she told us she once pooped in a plastic bag in her kitchen while he was showering so he wouldn't know. She told us that she missed and peed all over the floor. She told us all of this on her first shift working with us. She's a nurse, and
drewtangclan 8y ago There is a woman who sits about 10 feet away from my desk and talks constantly about what foods her grandchildren do and do not like. She gives unsolicited updates each week to everyone around her. I do not understand why. 104 ...
lesupermark 9y ago I'm a waiter, and one of my co-workers is an italian old man that is so close to retirement that he doesn't care anymore. Не pretends to pee into wine bucket by tuurning his back at the customers and emptying a water bottle in them. Не pranks calls the restaurant by calling and going :Go fuck yourself. Before hanging up. Smokes constantly and is never on time. 4.4K ...
hank_moo_d 9y ago Whenever he wants to say something, he pauses in the middle of the sentence, like he's waiting for you to react to every bit of information. So, my son was watching netflix pauses for 4 seconds, eye contact all the time and he told to join him pauses again to start watching Jessica Jones Не usually do it with a glass of water, and take a sip during the pauses. 1.1K ...
teashoesandhair 6y ago We had a woman at my last job who had coeliac disease, meaning that every time she ate anything with wheat in, she suffered from what I will politely refer to as 'monster, life-threatening shits'. Whenever she didn't want to do something she was asked to do, she would eat bread and go home sick. Backfired a bit when she was hospitalised and had to quit her job, but there you go. 490 ...
Mexicasian27 e 6y ago Pete. Eats birthday cake out of the break room before we've sang happy birthday 168 ...
HillbillyGainTrain 8y ago There's a 30ish year old Hispanic man at my work who's super chill and works really hard. He's a really funny guy. But he acts like he doesn't speak English to avoid talking to customers (he's a landscaper and admittedly does have a heavy accent) and one 17 year old girl keeps insistently trying to teach him English. Imagine someone talking to a puppy or a baby. It's so annoying. Не just smiles and looks at her with a blank stare. We all think it's hilarious bc shes a know it all and actually thinks she's superior
BOOM4035 9y ago There is this one man in the office, i'll call him tim Tim is a very elderly and angry man, known for this woman's cardigan he wears every day as well as his many heated conversations of which the snippets are pure gold. Last week out of the blue he proclaims he was up to his knees in blood while on a phone call. Yesterday he said he would rather be doing blow down the streets of new york One of my favorites included Sometimes in life you're the chip sometimes you're the dip i love and fear
brohamut66 9y ago The guy who eats several hard boiled eggs every morning for breakfast... in an open cube environment. The smell is somehow worse on Monday mornings. 801 ...
zarley33 . 6y ago THAT person just walks around and asks ridiculous questions all day. You can be eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch and he'll be like, Hey Bob, did you make that? No, I found it in the parking lot. 614 ...
corrupted_one 13y ago I worked with a guy who put up a very small picture on his cubicle wall of a political figure that killed millions of people. A coworker finally noticed it and we all started talking about it, many of us thinking it is similar to having a picture of Hitler. Since we were all mellow programmers, we said fuck it and moved on. But every few weeks or so, he would replace it with a slightly bigger picture than the last. At one point, it was taking up most of the cubicle wall. They guy was a
dd4y 13y ago I worked at a mine in northern Manitoba. One of the old miners was a guy named Jack Bones (not made up). Jack was known for having the largest penis around. Every night when the miners come up from underground, they shower before going home in large open shower rooms. Whenever there was a new rookie working there, Jack would make a point of showering beside him. Не would lather up his privates with soap and then proceed to use a huge floor scrubbing brush to scrub his dick, thereby giving himself a huge boner and stand
DavidisGoliath 13y ago A direct quote: I woke up on an old mattress next to my boyfriend's brother, in an abandoned church, wearing a bikini, in Tuscaloosa. And that was the first time I'd ever done Xanax. She also brought a pink briefcase full of dildos to work (at a law firm) because she had a sex toy party to host later in the evening. She lived in a house that didn't have a kitchen. She has 2 pet squirrels, and her husband plays in an awful nu- metal band. She also crushes pills up on her desk with her
DigitalLD 13y ago A woman at my company has decided instead of paying on her student loans, she will simply get more degrees. She's 40+, on her 4th masters degree, and does nothing but complain about school work all day. Probably at least a hundred k in debt. No comprendo. 422 ...
missnixon 13y ago Working in an open concept office where we used an instant messenger to communicate. One day working late, it's only myself and That Guy. Не disappeared for 20 minutes then came back, but I didn't notice much. Не types to me Hey do you like my haircut? and I look over and he has just LOCKED eyes with me after shaving his head with a razor in the bathroom. 874 ...
 13y ago We have a One Upper at work who is a gold mine. I can only recall his most recent outlandish claims. They were: Не has been in 19 weddings this year. Not attended, but been in. Не had an overweight friend on the TOP FLOOR of the World Trade Center on 9/11, who made it down to safely, and now runs 15 miles a day. 596 ...
 13y ago Edited 13y ago I used to work with Brian - about 230 pounds of pure software geek. Не had a full beard like Grizzly Adams. Baths and showers were not on his list of important things to do. Once we flew him to the client site to help solve a pesky problem. I reminded him to dress for the occasion. I greeted him at the front lobby and was shocked to see him with a collared shirt that had never been ironed, and his tie TIED DIRECTLY TO HIS NECK! Not under the collar, just wrapped around his neck.
ImmortalityLTD e 13y ago Skippy did a lot of stuff, but the one that stood out the most was when he tested out his new digital camera by taking pictures of himself making faces in his office. Не then proceeded to save them to the shared network drive. 12 ...

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