The World’s Biggest Randy Marsh Fan Has Finally Perfected Her ‘South Park’ Shrine

Don’t Forget That the Olympics Snubbed Springfield Because of Bart Simpson’s Stand-Up Act

12 Trivia Tidbits for Friday, July 26, 2024

33 Video Game Facts That Dramatically Sprung Out of Us After a Robot Monkey Pelted Us With a Coconut

12 Weird Things Left at Famous Graves

46 Alternate Beginnings, Middles and Endings to Your Favorite TV Shows and Movies

‘E.T.’ could have been way different

46 Alternate Beginnings, Middles and Endings to Your Favorite TV Shows and Movies

June 04, 2024

The beginning, the middle, the end… that about covers the entire movie. No matter where you slice it, though, these classic films were almost wildly different.

Click right here to get the best of Cracked sent to your inbox.

46

Early drafts of movies WALL-E WALL-E battled alien blobs. In a final twist, the blobs turned out to be humans, which had become shapeless after centuries in a weightless environment. Then Pixar remembered they were doing a children's movie. WALLE CRACKED.COM — Source

45

Early drafts of movies The Truman Show It was going to be a dark Brian De Palma movie. The Malcolm Show was inspired by a dark comedy episode of the '8os revival of The Twilight Zone. By the time Peter Weir was set to direct, the script had gone through around 25 rewrites. CRACKED.COM — Source

44

Early drafts of movies Toy Story RASER LIGHTYEAR SPRUS net Disney wanted Woody to be edgy. Disney chairman Jeffrey Katzenberg said that the wooden cowboy had to have an edge to him - and the resulting storyboard reel tanked hard. Disney wanted to shut everything down, but Pixar instead made the movie they wanted to make. CRACKED.COM — Source

43

Early drafts of movies Terminator: Salvation The ending had a John Connor-Terminator hybrid. In John Brancato and Michael Ferris' dark original ending, John Connor died and his skin was grafted onto Marcus' cybernetic skeleton. The new Marcus- Connor Terminator then killed all the heroes, and the machines ended up winning. CRACKED.COM — Source

42

Early drafts of movies Alien3 The movie was set on a wooden monastery planet. Alien 3 had many versions, with one of them having an impregnated Ripley held prisoner by space monks who think she's possessed. A producer even called it artsy-fartsy. CRACKED.COM — Source

41

CRACKED.COM Early drafts of movies Spider-Man Spider-Man practiced spider-BDSM. James Cameron's '90s script had Peter Parker tying up Mary Jane with spider webs in a sexy way, and using the mating rituals of spiders as pillow talk. — Source

40

Early drafts of movies Jade The script didn't suck (according to the scriptwriter). Joe Eszterhas agreed with reviewers ripping the movie to shreds, claiming that his cerebral story was completely rewritten by director William Friedkin (as Friedkin himself acknowledged). CRACKED.COM — Source

39

CRACKED.COM Early drafts of movies Commando Gene Simmons almost starred in the movie. Jeph Loeb wrote Commando as a slow, introspective drama about an Israeli soldier who had turned his back on a life of violence. Nick Nolte and even Kiss' Simmons were considered, but the movie was rewritten when Schwarzenegger signed up. — Source

38

CRACKED.COM Early drafts of movies Star Wars The original title was quite a mouthful. Adventures of the Starkiller, as taken from the Journal of the Whills, Saga I: The Star Wars had Han Solo as a green monster, and Annikin Starkiller as a teenager saved by General Luke Skywalker. — Source

37

Early drafts of movies Return of the Jedi The Jedi did return- from the dead. Obi-Wan! Yoda! They all came back to life to... not help Luke, actually, but watch from the sidelines as he battled Vader alone (while offering running commentary like it was a sports show). CRACKED.COM — Source

36

Early drafts of movies Pretty Woman It was a serious, dark drama. J. F. Lawton was writing ninja movies when he penned this script called $3,000. Disney asked him for a lighter rewrite, and surprisingly he made it too light. Other writers were then asked to find the sweet spot and fix the melancholic ending. CRACKED.COM — Source

35

CRACKED.COM Early drafts of movies Dr. No Dr. No was a monkey. The writers were told to make the Bond villain menacing - which they somehow took to mean, make him an actual monkey with genius-level IQ. The producers Doctor-Noped the draft right away. — Source

34

S Early drafts of movies Ghostbusters The first script was more Avengers than Ghostbusters. Dan Aykroyd's idea was set in the future, it had multiple groups of Ghosbusters protecting Earth, and it ended with several ghosts and monsters fighting them. The studio passed on it, and Aykroyd was forced to scale the idea down. CRACKED.COM — Source

33

Early drafts of movies Back to the Future The original title was Spaceman from Pluto. The story was about a suicidal teen trying to off himself by getting into a device rigged up inside a car wash - which was actually a time machine. The ending had the time machine inside a fridge and propelled by a nuclear blast. CRACKED.COM — Source

32

Early drafts of movies Con Air It was going to be a character-driven drama. The first draft was by Scott Rosenberg, who had previously written Things to Do In Denver When You're Dead. It was rewritten to suit producer Jerry Bruckheimer's big action spectacle sensibilities. CRACKED.COM — Source

31

Early drafts of movies Jaws 3-D The movie was going to be a straight spoof. Written by John Hughes and to be directed by Joe Dante, National Lampoon's Jaws 3, People o was going to be a mockumentary about the filming of a third Jaws movie. Spielberg apparently threatened to leave Universal if they didn't stop mocking the franchise, which means no one has told him what the third Jaws movie actually ended up being. CRACKED.COM — Source

30

Early drafts of movies Raiders of the Lost Ark Indiana Jones was a pedophile. George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, and Lawrence Kasdan thought it'd be amusing for Indy to have had an affair with a young girl - as young as 12. As Lucas put it, they shouldn't go higher than 16, because then it's not interesting anymore. CRACKED.COM — Source

29

Early drafts of movies E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial It was originally a horror story. The initial script, titled Night Skies, was about a home invasion by aliens, one of which was friendly. The entire idea became E.T, and the horror element turned into Poltergeist. CRACKED.COM — Source

28

Early drafts of movies Live Free or Die Hard It wasn't written as a Die Hard movie. Inspired by a Wired article, David Marconi wrote a cyber thriller called WW3.com, which was immediately shelved after 9/11. Years later it was rewritten by Mark Bomback as the Die Hard sequel we all know and tolerate. CRACKED.COM — Source

27

CRACKED.COM SEBS DE Early drafts of movies Birdman The original ending was like a lame SNL sketch. Michael Keaton's play was a success - and then the story began again, with Johnny Depp sitting in a dressing room next to a Jack Sparrow poster. The poster then came to life and asked him: What the f**ck are we doing here, mate? — Source

26

CRACKED.COM IS CHILDS THE THING? IS IT MACREADY? MAYBE NEITHER OF THEM? OR PERHAPS... HOW ABOUT ANOTHER DOG? An alternate ending to The Thing shows the, well, Thing escaping from the burning camp as a dog, just as it had arrived earlier on. — Source

25

RICK BECOMES FAMOUSLY CHUMMY WITH CAPTAIN RENAULT AT THE END OF CASABLANCA. A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP! BUT... НЕ WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ARRESTED. In the original, unproduced play, Rick is taken into custody for helping the fugitives escape, and presumably sent to a concentration camp. CRACKED.COM

24

IN STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN, SCOTTY LOOKS VERY UPSET BY A BOY'S DEATH. AND NO WONDER. IT WAS HIS NEPHEW. Scenes establishing they were related were cut from the theatrical release, making it look like Scotty was all weepy over some random crewmember. CRACKED.COM — Source

23

46 Alternate Beginnings, Middles and Endings to Your Favorite TV Shows and Movies — Source

22

46 Alternate Beginnings, Middles and Endings to Your Favorite TV Shows and Movies — Source

21

46 Alternate Beginnings, Middles and Endings to Your Favorite TV Shows and Movies — Source

20

CRACKED.COM ROCKY IS A STORY ABOUT PERSEVERANCE. ROCKY BALBOA NEVER QUITS, NO MATTER WHAT. THAT'S JUST THE FINISHED MOVIE, THOUGH. ORIGINALLY, НЕ DID QUIT. The first script had Rocky throw the fight after realizing he didn't actually want to be a boxer. — Source

19

IN SCREAM 2, THE KILLER BEHIND GHOSTFACE'S MASK IS MICKEY ALTIERI. THAT WASN'T THE PLAN. НЕ REPLACED DEREK AND HALLIE. The identity of the killers was changed after the script was leaked on the internet. CRACKED.COM — Source

18

CRACKED.COM IN THOR, LOKI SEIZES THE THRONE OF ASGARD. НЕ DIDN'T NEED TO. IT WAS MEANT TO BE HIS RIGHT. Loki is made Odin's heir and rightful ruler of Asgard in a deleted scene. Still a villain, but within the law. — Source

17

16

SCAR IS DEVOURED BY HIS HYENAS, WHICH IS PRETTY HORRIFIC FOR DISNEY. BUT... ORIGINALLY, IT WAS EVEN WORSE. In an alternate ending to The Lion King, which was storyboarded but never animated, Scar believes that he's won and is engulfed by flames as he celebrates. CRACKED.COM — Source

15

IN ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND, JOEL AND CLEMENTINE ERASE ONE ANOTHER FROM THEIR MEMORIES. NOT JUST ONCE OR TWICE, BUT... 15 TIMES IN 50 YEARS. In a version of the script, Joel and Clementine keep coming back together and then getting mind wipes repeatedly over several decades. CRACKED.COM — Source

14

CRACKED.COM THE RULED THE T. REX TOTALLY RULES THE ENDING OF JURASSIC PARK. HOWEVER... THAT WAS AN AFTERTHOUGHT. The scripted ending had Grant and Hammond killing the raptors themselves. Then Spielberg realized that the Rex just had to come back. — Source

13

IN THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES, THE ENTIRE DURSLEY FAMILY REMAIN UNSYMPATHETIC TO THE END. HOWEVER... IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY. In the books, Dudley Dursley makes amends with Harry after years of mistreatment. The scene was filmed, but ultimately scrapped. CRACKED.COM — Source

12

CRACKED.COM THE BRIDE IN KILL BILL IS NOTORIOUS FOR HER KATANA. BUT AT FIRST... SHE ALSO HAD A BOOMERANG. An early draft describes the Bride using a steel boomerang in the fight against Gogo Yubari. — Source

11

CRACKED.COM RIPLEY KICKING ALIEN BUTT AT THE LAST MINUTE SPAWNED A FRANCHISE THAT STILL GOES ON. EXCEPT... SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO LIVE. Alien was going to end with the creature biting Ripley's head off and mimicking her voice to record a final log entry. — Source

10

YOU REMEMBER MARVIN GETTING SHOT IN THE FACE IN PULP FICTION, RIGHT? ORIGINALLY... IT WAS A SHOT TO THE THROAT. According to Phil LaMarr, who played Marvin, his death was a mercy kill after being accidentally shot. It was changed to make Jules and Vincent look less unsympathetic. CRACKED.COM — Source

9

GRAGKED.COM IN STAR WARS' SOAP OPERA, UNCLE OWEN IS VADER'S STEPBROTHER. BUT AT FIRST... НЕ WAS OBI-WAN'S BROTHER. I took you to live with my brother Owen, on Tatooine, Obi-Wan reveals to Luke in the script of Return of the Jedi. — Source

8

FERRIS BUELLER IS AN ADORABLE, FREEWHEELING TRUANT. PERHAPS YOU DIDN'T KNOW... НЕ WAS ALMOST A THIEF AS WELL. In an early draft of Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Ferris steals his dad's saving bonds to fund his day off. GRACKED COM — Source

7

CRACKED.COM SE7EN IS A BLEAK MOVIE WITH A BLEAKER ENDING. HOWEVER... THE SCRIPT WAS EVEN DARKER. John Doe was originally supposed to take Detective Mills hostage and kill him. Then Detective Somerset would torture Doe and burn him alive. PLEASE HANDLE WITH CARE FRAGILE — Source

6

THE XENOMORPH'S BREEDING CYCLE IS ALREADY NIGHTMARISH ENOUGH. AND YET... IT COULD HAVE BEEN EVEN SCARIER. A scene deleted from Alien showed Brett and Dallas cocooned, used as food for new facehugger eggs. CRACKED.COM — Source

5

THE FINAL BATTLE IN THE LORD OF THE RINGS: THE RETURN OF THE KING COULD HAVE BEEN EVEN MORE ONE-SIDED. ORIGINALLY... SAURON WAS GOING TO FIGHT. A duel between Sauron and Aragorn was filmed, but not used, as that would have distracted from Frodo and Sam's quest to destroy the One Ring. CRACKED.COM — Source

4

CRACKED COM OBI-WAN HIDES LUKE'S PARENTAGE FOR NO APPARENT REASON OTHER THAN PURE SEMANTICS. ORIGINALLY, НЕ HAD A BETTER MOTIVE. YODA MADE HIM DO IT. In a clip deleted from Return of the Jedi, Yoda fesses up that he forbade Obi-Wan from spilling the beans. — Source

3

YOU KNOW SHEEV PALPATINE, EMPEROR OF THE GALAXY IN STAR WARS. BUT ORIGINALLY... HIS NAME WAS COS DASHIT. It's too bad he was renamed after the first draft. His original name was truly da shit, man. CRACKED.COM — Source

2

CRACKED.COM HANNIBAL LECTER SACRIFICES HIS OWN HAND TO SPARE CLARICE'S WHEN SHE HANDCUFFS HIM. BUT VERY EASILY... IT COULD HAVE GONE THE OTHER WAY AROUND. In an alternate ending to Hannibal, she just lets him go, implying that she is making a sacrifice for him. — Source

1

IF YOU THINK OF TITANIC, YOU THINK OF THE I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD! SCENE. EXCEPT... THAT WASN'T IN THE SCRIPT. Jack didn't even have dialogue in that scene. The line, which made the movie 100% more memorable than it'd be otherwise, was thrown in by Leonardo DiCaprio. GRACKED.COM — Source

Tags:

Visual

Scroll down for the next article

Must Read

Trivia & Jokes

35 Random Bits of Trivia Airdropped to Us by a Stranger on This Airplane

Trivia & Jokes

33 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, July 26, 2024

Movies & TV

‘Shaun of the Dead’s Winchester Pub Survived Zombies, But Not Gentrification

Movies & TV

The Olympics Kick Things Off by Drowning The Minions

Movies & TV

Jon Stewart Says That Traditional TV News Is Icing Him Out

Movies & TV

Jordan Peele’s Horror-Prank Reboot Sounds Like a Real Nightmare

VIRAL ON CRACKED

1

33 of the Funniest Tweets from Friday, July 26, 2024

2

27 Real (Surprising) Stories Behind Huge Songs

3

34 (Unintentionally) Disturbing Children's Products

4

19 Awesome Survival Tips (You’ll Probably Never Need)

5

We’re All Trying to Find the Guy Responsible for the Wienermobile Roll-Over Crash