39 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Why did he do that?
39 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, May 21, 2024

Although Steve Carell won’t be returning to the Dunder Mifflin telematic universe, audiences will get to see him tackle another comedy. HBO has ordered a 10-episode, straight-to-series comedy from Ted Lasso creator Bill Lawrence and fellow Scrubs writer Matt Tarses. Lawrence described the opportunity to work with the Morning Show actor as “an immediate career highlight.” The still-untitled single-cam project is “set on a college campus, centering on an author’s complicated relationship with his daughter.”

Meanwhile, as The Apprentice makes waves at Cannes, there’s one person who is definitely not a fan of the film: the apprentice himself. Donald Trump’s campaign spokesperson Steven Cheung issued a statement to The Hill, threatening legal action to “address the blatantly false assertions from these pretend filmmakers.” Cheung went on to describe the “garbage” film as “pure fiction which sensationalizes lies that have been long debunked.” Director Ali Abbasi, however, isn’t concerned about potential legal action, and even offered Trump a private screening. As Abbasi told reporters, “Everybody talks about him suing a lot of people, they don’t talk about his success rate.”

Win or lose, the timeline isn’t about to stop firing off hilarious tweets. Today’s funniest include those about neverending cicadas, a spider that was assassinated and the art of locking in — on an individual ceiling fan blade.

Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy 1d ... my pregnant wife is stepping on chicken shit RAW as we speak. u jealous yet Joel Berry Follow @JoelWBerry My wife is currently at home, barefoot and pregnant, feeding chickens in her flower garden, and I'd bet money she's happier than you x.com/ thesarahyork/s... This post is unavailable. 108 739 11.8K 4.7M
Sarah Edwards @eddy_sarah 11h ... Had a new experience tonight: on hour one of a six-hour flight, I got up to use the bathroom and when I came back the guy beside me was wearing my sweatshirt 131 1,797 74.3K du 2.5M
sugarplum @proseluvr. 1 1d applying for jobs is so humiliating I feel like a medieval peasant holding my coin pouch in front people begging them to give me some money 27 6,568 47.2K del 960K
breathing exercises guy @Asce... 1d ... getting rea(lly good at locking in on individual blades of my ceiling fan even on the fastest speed 15 307 3,653 126K
erica @ericanextdooor-1 11h hey i quit your job for you do you wanna hangout 41 1,418 14.9K del 617K
lily (DVNO) @sabybeal 1d this is one of my favorite tumblr posts rumour: slavetrade: my mom is literally the most selfish person in the world what about stingy from lazy town 20 3,909 43K 557K
Alyssa Leader @alittleleader-11h ... Just walked to the grocery store at 10 PM and saw a disgruntled father walking out with his teen daughter, who was holding a tri-fold poster board and looked harried. Pray for this family. 77 1,184 36.1K 724K
@timeimmem... 1d ... Kevin Finnerty my girl listening to me work on my tony soprano impression in the shower before we head out to have dinner with friends CC 163 3,848 40.1K 4M
SpacedMom @copymama 1d ... My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said That would be like sitting in a field of french fries. 76 8,828 120K 2.5M
innes @innesmck•1 1d ... they should invent a hobby that is good for your posture 356 6,298 82.9K du 1.8M
rob @ok_but_still.8h (woman from tinder kneeling down on the carpet) oh wow he's scary. what's his name? (taking my action figure back) he's a good guy actually. 16 893 10.9K del 294K
nope @PrinceHAK33M· 1d You wouldn't know about the ones that are working because that's the point. lil duval @lilduval 1d What's the purpose of a NDA? Cuz i ain't seen one work yet! 81 8,712 81.9K 2.5M
@CanPanicNow. 20h ... Being a lawyer is so funny because someone will have their dog off the leash at a park, barreling towards my dog, and jog screaming oh, he's friendly and I'll scream back And you have strict and total liability if he isn't and suddenly they turn into Usain Bolt 57 2,999 53.1K del 1.1M
Harrison Weinreb @harriweinr... . 19h ... Just said a joke and heard crickets. Crickets laughing their asses off 1 193 3,070 del 116K
Claire Penis @ZeroSuitCamus 13h ... At this point I would give up tbh a @angelinyourhead.16h 5 15 ODA SKODA KO Oge at 192 3,378 63.1K del 2.1M
paul | iwtv spoilers @paulswhtn. 1d whoever made this wanted him so bad ? @ xenomorph247.2d Young Abraham Lincoln statue. x.com/nebulimes/stat... 119 7,929 200K 5M
Jacob deNobel @Jacob_deNob... 12h ... Laying next to my wife in bed and I hear her solemnly say Oh, I see to her phone. I roll over and this is what she's looking at 44 1,263 28.6K 787K
elizabeth handgun @OneFeIIS... 11h ... just learned that the oldest spider known to science was 43 years old........ she didn't even die of old age...... her wikipedia page quotes a scientist who said she was cut down in her prime........ 34 904 23.2K 708K
Othellius Maximus @Thellius_d.... 1d ... This the type of shit the GZA raps about Massimo @Rainmaker19....2d This katana becomes engulfed in flames when drawn  2c Kiwamu Miyakubo 40 3,591 29.7K 1.2M
bfa agonistes @superloafcat- 1d we used to be a proper country CLICK SUSSERCE 6:44 / 8:45 Man Eats 87 SpongeBob Stickers in an Alley SHOENICE Subscribe 497,083 98,124 + Add to Share ... More 1,899 307 24 560 6,762 218K
i cant do a backflip @fart 13h i would like to recognize for a moment how funny it is that the apple watch definitely knows when you're jacking off but has been programmed to not say anything 47 646 18.1K 635K
Pyramid Chad @pyrameadhead-1d ... 8:32 PM Google How to get a dragon scimitar mouse cursor 8:43 PM Google How to get rid of a computer virus 6 747 9,961 232K
weird medieval guys BOOK... 17h ... it's crazy that the best piece of artwork ever was made 2,200 years ago and no one has made anything better since. and yes you can bet your bottom dollar i'm talking about the ancient roman mouse eating a walnut mosaic 53 1,764 10.8K 250K
Terrell Mallory @_Twinndiesel-1 11h ... That Orangutan could ruin everybody night if he feel like it. They lucky he just vibing wit his grapes. @HappyP... 17h Happy Punch Ryan Garcia casually singing to an orangutan eating grapes in a mercedes 29 1,254 22.5K 302K 13.8M
DON'T CRASH paddle @ipaddlearound 1.1d KEEP DRY DON'T CRASH KEEP DRY u can turn 30 at any point in ur 20s DON'T CRASH 99 2,979 25.6K del 1.1M
John Frankensteiner @JFranke... . 11h ... I am not a Costner guy, but him writing a $38 million dollar personal check for a four-part Western epic as his wife is like, Kevin, I'm leaving you if you do this is one of the funniest things to ever happen and I have to respect it 103 904 18.6K del 1.9M
jenna @jennnnarose 15h ... Thinking about the Barbera Bear I saw walking alone with no purpose in South Philadelphia yesterday BARBERA BEAR 0:02 24 194 2,163 132K
abby diebold @thediebster. 1d ... so close! it was actually because you didn't have to pay rent amanda @THECOOLISSUE.2 2d hold ON Life got sweeter when I realized: the magic behind childhood wasn't because I was a child, it was because I was present. 27 10.3K 126K - 2.4M
lesbian mothman @verys... 18h ... just realized my partner of 6.5 years and i have never been bowling together.......i am shaken to my core. is the true self not revealed through bowling?? what if it breaks us 10 183 7,208 216K
Daniel D'Addario @DPD_.19h no offense but it feels like the cicadas that come out every 17 years happen every single summer... 73 1,124 31.7K 956K
lil arab @sweatyhairy 16h ... sometimes u just gotta say im gonna kill myself then keep it movin @blessedtfup 1d Vegeta i'm going to kms-a person who's going to be alive tomorrow 81 25.7K 119K 3.4M
Drew Mackie @drewgmackie 18h ... just found out that the German title for John Carpenter's The Thing is DAS DING and I rushed here to tell everyone JOHN CARPENTER'S DAS DING AUS EINER ANDEREN WELT 59 832 5,492 456K
Jason Diamond @imjasondia... 17h ... I stopped by a table of Girl Scouts selling cookies. All of the girls had their sashes on and were all smiling and Wanna buy some cookies, except one. She was eating the cookies, had crumbs all over her shirt and told me, We've made a thousand dollars today. Icon. 18 274 11.8K del 137K
swag 900 @ecco401k· 1d one of the most universal female experiences is when a guy sends you a song he made and it sucks 159 4,709 26.8K del 1.1M
kay @McKayla_tt-18h ... Skill issue Etukmma @EP_Uwah 1d You can't fuck someone into loving you. x.com/juliethardt/st... 145 3,711 12.9K del 925K
@liIpochaco 20h  so is this like biblically accurate 3 2,833 19.4K 275K
emily @emilykmay. 20h hands down the worst part of parenting is when you have to follow through on a boundary you set like ok i didnt want to actually leave the pool and now i have to be a woman of my word!!! 94 735 24.5K du 623K
Joe Kwaczala @joekjoek 1d ... google's Al is so smart, it's honestly scary Other actresses in their 50s include: Michelle Yeoh: 61 Annette Bening: 65 Laura Dern: 57 Helen Mirren: 78 33 751 32.6K 723K
1 - - - - i ... - katie @focusfronting 16h do you think fish are proud that they're in such iconic company with cheese, fear, and war as the only things you can monger 219 1,489 20.2K du 658K


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