32 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of May 6, 2024

True happiness costs nothing
32 of the Funniest Tweets from the Week of May 6, 2024

Another week in the books means a bunch of new laughable headlines. Dana Carvey revealed that after Opportunity Knocks flopped, Bill Murray told him to make like a disgraced politician and leave the country to avoid bad reviews. Hollywood powerhouse Bette Midler revealed that she wanted to sue Lindsay Lohan, who walked out on their forgettable CBS sitcom after the pilot episode. And in a lawsuit worthy of Ryan Murphy’s Feud, TikTok is fighting against the American government’s potential ban, claiming it encroaches on their First Amendment rights. 

Meanwhile, Hacks also returned for its third season, and one of its stars made a shocking revelation. Kaitlin Olson explained to Vanity Fair that she originally turned down the role for bona-fide sitcom legend Deandra Reynolds. The Always Sunny actress took issue with the fact that Rob McElhenneyCharlie Day and Glenn Howerton had all the funny lines. Luckily, McElhenney and company reworked Dee’s role, and she’s now one of the funniest characters in TV history to never be nominated for an Emmy.

The week also gave us an abundance of funny tweets. The funniest ones included those about the ultimate future wife guy, a lifesaving meal and a wild pivot for an Australian pop star.

ci @cicireion 18h rate the eats??? i know the chef personally so be cool 456 2,522 58.2K 1M
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad5h ... Surprising even myself with the gut reaction good for her! NEW YORK New York Post POST @nypost 15h Southwest passengers baffled after woman climbs into overhead bin for nap trib.al/c7WYGXQ 8 13 262 16K
Super 70s Sports @Super7... 21h ... This door weighed more than the entire fucking car you drive now. 256 931 15.8K 494K
Rebecca Rideal @RebeccaRid... 23h ... Everything here is perfect - words, image, all of it. No notes. i The reader interview Interview Ian McShane: 'When I was about to get it on with Richard Burton, he said I reminded him of Elizabeth' As told to Rich Pelley ALT The actor on the fate of Lovejoy's leather 33 652 5,537 297K
в @isabellayonce• 22h Boy math is being afraid of gold diggers when you only have 3 pairs of socks to your name. в @isabellayonce-22h What is boy math? 192 15.8K 122K 3.8M
JOEL GOLBY STAN ACCOUNT 1d .. sabrina carpenter: so what's the joker? barry keoghan: he's sart of like an evil porson 29 2,114 35.8K del 1.4M
Dr Victoria Austen @Vicky_Au... . 16h ... Email received from student: I was planning to come to office hours today but on my way I found myself in a situation of saving a baby duck so can I schedule another time to meet?. They then attached picture of said baby duck. 10/10. No notes. 74 2,667 92K 1.3M
gabica @thosegrose.2 22h ... sorry for traumadumping what are you talking about this word is of no relevance to me. you could cry a river and i i will build us a raft to float on 101 19.8K 99.7K 2M
Uzo Njoku @uzoart. 21h I was speaking down south in a predominantly white neighborhood and there were light refreshments before the speech. Why was it jollof rice, plantains, etc I locked eyes with the chef who looked so proud and a tear rolled down my cheek as I ate the worst jollof rice in my life 177 2,290 41.2K 1.1M
lil bruh @fitfuljest 1d ... we both got cheated on by the same guy, i love girl power MAY 1 AT 8:03 AM annual trauma check in how are we feeling a year later this is like the reunion !! 5:57 PM GIRL Message... 1 39 1,732 30.3K
vodka chicken parm @IdahoB... 11h ... Repressive society. No one should have to apologize for this @arin Japanese Politician Says Sorry For Doing Pull-Ups on a Train After 74.9K Downing 3 to 4 Beers 1,426 433 easypullups Follow 5 111 2,405 38K
Carey O'Donnell @ecareyo 17h ... Yesterday at CVS I heard an older gay say into his phone And you know her, the Queen of backpedaling before disappearing into the parking garage. I can't stop thinking about it. 11 405 13.9K del 277K
almondmilkhunni @almo... 14h ... u bitches never wanna just go to the park and that's exactly ur problem 132 15.8K 89.8K du 1.7M
Rilakkuma @Rilakkumamemes . dd ... Ozempic has fallen into the wrong hands @Kumabou_0617-2d 15 1,160 18.3K 599K
Dan Sheehan @ItsDanSheehan•1 18h ... If I was Sisyphus I would just start doing insane stuff with the rock. I would start going wild with the rock in ways the gods never expected and they would be so embarrassed at how much fun I was having. 9 175 1,242 36.8K
mike ginn @shutupmikeginn- 2d losing a competitive 1v1 eBay auction feels kind of amazing. not only do i i not have to pay for the stupid thing i don't actually need, but i made my enemy (guy exactly like me) pay an extra $80 for it 69 3,696 67.4K 2.1M
@frenchmarlboro - 2d he wakes up everyday and cannot believe this is his life Pop Base @PopBase. 3d Tom Holland shares Zendaya's Met Gala looks on his Instagram: tomholland2013 4,432,966 likes tomholland2013 View all 28,735 comments 179 349K 22K 7.7M
sugar gay @anewmisery 2d ... do not kill yourself chili's will save you / S TOUR CHIND S WEY 11 ZUSAN CHILIS.COM/REWARDS f MY CHILI'S MADE DAILY RESH CHIPS S LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO PAY MY CHILI'S CHIPS & SA REWARD CHILIS.COM/REWAR 447 12K 98K 6.7M
MaDlaba @sipheshezie 2d he'll know what to do. My boyfriend Myth @iamblackmyth.2d This dragon attacks your city, who do you call first ? 370 15K 91K to 9.7M
Nick @nm234 2d Gay people with their emotional support English teacher Minogue Updates @MinogueUpdates - 2d kylie minogue and troye sivan at the 2024 #MetGala CC Troye Sivan & Kylie Minogue 88 5.9K 72K 2.2M
Sneaker S*ge Knight @JerLisa_... 1d ... Reba was really going through some shit. Finding out your husbands mistress is pregnant during family therapy after you asked him to come home. THEN your 17 year old gets pregnant and her bf moves in cause he has nowhere to go. Then the kids get married. And the mistress friendly 177 3,300 34.4K 1.6M
@planetmari_. 1d ... being sensitive and a little slow is funny because not only did I misinterpret what you said it also hurt my feelings 94 14K 86K 2.1M
Chelsea Pope @chelseathepo... 14h ... Dang had no idea the impulse-purchase clothes I got at Target in 2014 would be The Clothes I Wear For The Rest Of My Life 32 543 11.5K 254K
Maizie @postboob.1 13h ... having a hairline that never recedes is the male equivalent of having big naturals 200 1,950 31.9K 2.3M
tata can do it with a broken h... 15h ... Normal texts from my 11 year old. 5:05 69 Ch Today 5:04 PM Hey idea we don't need 2 cars But we do need to go to the eras tour 84 876 28.7K 560K
sarkastik knight @airjaxx 1d ... yours is the perfect size. the big ones hurt cg 0:03 Pizzylee @oyinloye_s.3d 10. What sounds like a compliment but isn't? 685 7,551 40.2K 10.7M
Dre @DRE777_.21h and its my middle finger st rgrl @itgirldiyah 1d i only got like 1 serious bone in my body fr 33 20.4K 84.5K 3.2M
regular david @OrdinaryAlso. 18h ... what if i i hugged you really tight and then loosened my grip slowly and then told you your blood pressure is 140/90 37 550 4,257 134K
janito @yassnito 17h i guess they're having a baby baby baby ohhhh like Pop Base @PopBase. 17h Hailey and Justin Bieber are expecting their first child together. 469 31.7K 313K 9.9M
Nick Miller @NickMillerMusic. 8h ... This edible isn't doing anything 20 minutes later: 12 311 9,569 288K
BANKROLL @BBY... . 1d ... on me ill pick this bitch up n put it in the car n go home Everything Georgia 1d. Chick-Fil-A delivery robot spotted crossing the street in Woodstock. Chick-fil-App 126 1,001 12K 793K
count dykecula @gothesbi... 15h ... she needs to be saluted When people think they can hurt my feelings but it was my job to enforce the mask mandate at Crackerbarrel when i was a seventeen year old butch lesbian + 3,854 ... 86 42 2,580 56.4K 554K


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