28 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, April 22, 2024

Why, Dr. House!
28 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, April 22, 2024

There’s at least one opponent who Venom is no match for — the next president of the United States. The third and final film in Sony’s Venom trilogy was originally set to release on November 8th, but last month, the studio announced, without rationale, that the sequel would be pushed up a week. In a report on politics in Hollywood, Variety revealed the reason for the date change was so that the film didn’t get overshadowed by the presidential election. Most of the other studios are doing the same thing, as there’s a glaring gap in major releases from October 25th through November 22nd.

For his part, Stephen Colbert will certainly speak his piece on the upcoming Biden/Trump rematch, but he has other ventures on his mind as well. Colbert got candid with Ben Schwartz at this year’s PaleyFest when he told the comedian that he still can’t totally shake the acting bug, as it was part of his life for more than three decades. The late-night host also revealed that his dream role was Richard Rich in A Man for All Season, but he was sure to make it clear that this was no desperate plea to casting directors and that he’s not abandoning his post at the Late Show desk anytime soon.

Over on the timeline, the week is getting started with big belly laughs thanks to some prolific posters. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a compliment fit for Earth Day, outtakes of biblical proportion and the most horrifying nightmare imaginable.

Matthew Fellows @fattmellows 1d Dads will watch an entire movie stood in the doorway like this 56 1.6K 48K 916K
ms pippershnippetz @lolumOKUR. 1d ... i had a nightmare i was at my ex's house and i ate one of his bagels and he was like you owe me $1.99 for that 29 186 4.6K du 108K
Matt @ItsMatt_Again 1d In 3-6 months we'll be seeing an OnlyFans promo from this exact flat Liam @L4nkyLi4m.1 1d Obsessed that the old Dudley police station has been converted to studio flats, and for one of the advertised lettings they've kept the holding cell as a feature. 35 2.9K 49K 1.8M
Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy 23h I hate when healthy me does the grocery shopping 6 380 3.8K 97K
chloe @slantd_enchantd 19h ... my sister found a bar that prints images onto Guinnesses and has been going in and asking for Zendaya's Big Hat MAI Ten 51 4.7K 70K 1.8M
Paul Bronks @SlenderSherbet. 1d So if I'm reading this right, there must be a new cardboard box in the house 45 973 14K 324K
josey @joseyokok.23h a real life thumbs down is real hate Street Thoughtz @streetthotz. 1d Omg @ihatejoelkim was SRSLY beefing with a heckler during his DC show 68 5.7K 79K 2.6M
Matinee Mode @MatineeMode - 17h One perfect shot não MEDIA 5 260 3.3K 69K
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit . 21h ... Need Chris Pine to get embroiled in a surreal, darkly comedic LA murder mystery directed by the Coen Brothers or PTA immediately Prince of the Milky Way Ghetto @wonderm... . . 3d Chris Pine is serving legs langersdeli Big Boy 32 228 5.9K 317K
kc @powcampsurvivor 23h i like when people here make simpsons/sopranos/ seinfeld/evangelion crossover posts because it's like superwholock for adult men 12 313 3.1K del 71K
... rust belt city enjoyer @rustbeltenjoyer 21h I FINALLY GOT THE BILL CLINTON CAR Thank you for your help Violators may be asked to leave the premises and/or vehicle and could be subject to civil or criminal penalties under the law Metro Public Safety Available 24/7 CALL: 314.289.6873 TEXT 314 300 0188 PASSENGE 1 Press Butt 2. Wait For Ор 3 Inform Opera FOR EME President Bill Clinton rode MetroLink on June 24,1994. This was the car he rode in. 295K 12K 265 28
thesis hell @yuyu_finale 21h yuyu ... this is what real gender equality looks like @_Yume_Hana_ . 1d April Automated WHY WOULD YOU SELL THIS DE AD HERS HERO PURE GURE WASHI Have 125.95 if O SNIX KING OF ANTIST LOFFY BREW High KING UF KING C. ST ST = POLICE call MONATE & LOFFE ANYIES 65 7.3K 56K 989K
Rick Burin @rickbur1n 12h Great deleted scene @historycalendar - 2 21h History Calendar The Virgin Mary punching the Devil in the face, painting from с. 1240. AM IV TEU 17 1.9K 32K 874K
h @jamtoastaurchai -2 22h ... It's April 22nd which means it's officially Earth Day so if you want to tell me I'm your whole world or something, now is your chance 68 12K 47K 1.9M
Pree @diabolicalpree. 21h .. I was just resting my eyes - а man that was in the deepest sleep 135 7.1K 50K 2.4M
@orangypops. 1d orange ... Jacob Venom Snake 2 @H... 5h turned around after my prostate exam and the doctor was taking his glove off like this HOUSE.. FOX 2.9K 784K 32 46K
the thicc husband & father @lukeisamazing 18h you think the Empire ever put up signs like this? Dinosaur Dracula @DinosaurDracula 5/6/23 i live by one rule STAR WARS EPISODE THE PHANTOM MENACE YODA FIND YODA WIN CASH 6 993 11K del 279K
Ryan Moulton @moultano. 1 19h ... Every parent when giving their kids internet access. Ellis Rosen @EllisRosen.20h His It's just the abyss, dear. Try not to gaze into it. 2.8K 38K 12 974K
Daniel @dadogeking 1d ... Dont care didnt ask plus your pessimistic outlook on life is exhausting 7 3.7K 12K 350K
x - avier @dicnowder. 4h is he... y'know... *imitates crab claws*... from maryland??? 35 1.5K 14K del 506K
@heluvstat.1 16h tatyana no compliments is crazy i i like my man foaming at the mouth when he see me tbh 12 3.3K 14K 466K
alex - wip: 20k @tellalextowrite. 17h not a full-time writer or a part-time writer, but a secret third thing (a sometimes writer) 18 3.4K 10K 262K
Jen @NHLhistorygirl - 15h ... NHL trying to add depth like WE BUY MEN USED 29 AND UP 7 168 2.1K the 104K
ruth @tomwambswife . 15h you wouldn 't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me Are They Gay? - Captain : America and the Wint... Alexander Avila 21:40 GAY? 824K views 7 years ago Are They Gay? - Hannibal Lecter and... Alexander Avila 7:30 1.2M views 7 years ago GAY? Are They Gay? - Sherlock Holmes a... Alexander Avila 19:50 1.4M views 8 years ago GAY? GAY? Are They Gay? - Brokeback Mountain Alexander Avila 1:31 200K views 8 years ago Are They Gay? - Dean GAY? and Castiel (Destiel) Alexander Avila 18:33 989K views 8 years ago 68 3.6K 29K 539K
Mets Fan Brian (NEW) @metsfanbrian2 - 2 20h DRINKWATER Telling my kids this was Freddie Freeman 56 553 10K 677K
World's Spiciest Ramen @dezgostang.20h is he not allowed to wash his hands Afeerah @syedaafeerah 1d Hard working man, caring and loyal girlfriend> 52 1.6K 34K 607K
Rohita Kadambi @RohitaKadambi 13h ... Hard R Café? You mean Cracker Barrel? Hard Rock CAFE + 2 25 302 12K
WATMEE (KOMS CLOSED) @watmeedraw 6h Me and Godzilla i will show you... any huge how to dangerous love scary character me 7 290 1.9K 27K


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