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36 Bizarro Cultural Touchstones From the ‘80s and ‘90s That Might Explain Why Millennials Are Like That

The clothes. The dancing. The voices. You know what we’re talking about

36 Bizarro Cultural Touchstones From the ‘80s and ‘90s That Might Explain Why Millennials Are Like That

April 20, 2024

Millennials are like the middle child of the new millennium. Boomers were overprotective of Gen X, but Gen Z is allowed to have all the screen time they want. Millennials, meanwhile, came out over-scolded and under-indulged, and now they’re acting up.

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36

New Coke EW! 12 FL OZ 354 mL Coke Trade-mark ® GRACKED.COM After its much-hyped launch in 1985, New Coke crashed and burned so bad its name has become syn- onymous with failure. Ev- eryone can learn a lesson here: Do not buckle to the Pepsi Challenge. — Source

35

The McDLT CRACKED.COM The award for the most thoroughly '80s product, however, goes to the McDLT, a McDonald's hamburger that came in a special polystyrene container that sep- arated all the cold ingredients from the hot ones, to be assembled just prior to eating by the customer so as not to wilt those crisp, fresh veggies McDonald's is known for. It was obscenely wasteful, totally unnecessary, and mostly ineffec- tive. It was perfectly '80s. — Source

34

Fast Food Buffets SUPERBAR GARDEN SPOT GRAGKED.COM In the days of the universal salad bar, every fast food restaurant wanted in on the bar ac- tion, and we don't mean hotel mini fridges stashed in PlayPlaces for weary parents. Piz- za Hut, of course, had a buffet to accompany their obsolete dine-in service, KFC offered trays of pudding and chicken gizzards, Taco Bell challenged diners to all-you-can-eat cheap burritos, Burger King's traditional sal- ad bar went largely ignored, but the Wen- dy's Superbar was the true MVP, offering sal- ad, pasta, and a Mexican Fiesta. Honestly, we should bring this — Source

33

Lean Cuisine GRACKED COM Likewise, Stouffer's launched their line of healthy frozen dinners in 1981, and within two years, Lean Cui- sine was so popular that grocery stores frequently ran out. It's not clear whether this was because a tiny squirt of reconstituted potatoes and a fistful of salt are so unsatisfy- ing that you had to eat five at a time or people actually liked them. — Source

32

Steak- umms CRACKED CON Arguably the unholiest food to rise to power in the '80s was the Steak-umm, a thin slice of frozen beef that went national when it was acquired by Heinz in 1980. Sure, you could just grill a steak in the time it took to thaw, but the concept of beef doesn't have a sassy Twitter account, now, does it? — Source

31

Medieval Times CRACKED.COM All the way back in the '60s, a Spanish barbecuist and history buff got the idea to marry slow-roasted meats with live jousting, and twenty years later, his weird fetish came to life in the form of the first Medieval Times restaurant, which opened in 1983. Of course, it was in Flori- da. — Source

30

Dr Pepper Gum WRIGLEY'S Pepper Hubba cherry Bubba ARTIFICIALLY FLAVORE 5 PIECES GRAGKED.COM PUBBLE GUM Even though their soda failed, Hubba Bubba remained deter- mined to get into the soda game and finally found a winner (?) in soda-flavored gum with liquid centers, answering the question, What if Gushers, but it lasts way longer than anyone wants? — Source

29

Wine Coolers CRACKED.COM In the mid '80s, beverage manufactur- ers discovered an untapped market of people who couldn't handle a dry white wine or hoppy beer that nevertheless wanted to get fucked up, so they went all in on the wine cooler. Early wine coolers were more like bottled mimo- sas, but in true '80s fashion, they got more and more extreme until purveyors realized they didn't even need to con- tain wine, making way for hard lemon- ade and cider to become the stepping stone of choice between baby and big kid drinks for high school shoplifters. — Source

28

Tobacco Gum CRACKED.COM The '80s were a wild time for the chewing gum business, which also insisted on announcing Have some practice chaw, kids! with the introduction of Big League Chew in 1980. The shredded strands of stickiness looked just like that weird-smelling stuff all their favorite baseball players and least-favorite uncle were always chewing. — Source

27

Tie-In Foods GRACKED.COM The height of commercialism brought with it the height of pop culture or celebrity tie-in prod- ucts. You could eat your Pac-Man cereal with some Star Wars cook- ies on the side and an Ecto Cooler and never worry that someone wasn't trying to sell you some- thing every second of the day. — Source

26

Hubba Bubba Soda Bagno Diet SODA ubba Bobs CRACKED.COM abba a The madness of brands veering wildly out of their lines continued with Hubba Bubba Soda, because who wouldn't want to drink bub- ble gum? Everyone, it turns out. Incidentally, it was also available in diet, because just because you were chugging chewy sugar didn't mean you had to be intemperate. — Source

25

Taco Bell Burgers CRACKED.COM While McDonald's was busy trying to take over the world, Taco Bell used the distraction to weasel in on the burger business with, so help us God, the Bell Beefer. Every- one was trying to be some- thing they weren't. — Source

24

McPizza LICENSER DE M° Donald's HAMBURGERS HAMBURGE MARES ARO DRIN have So Ques 25BILLION CRACKED CON At some point in the mid '80s, McDon- ald's realized that if they could just work out the only American favorite they didn't yet serve, they could be gods. Fortunately for all of us, they never managed to get the price low enough or the cooking process fast enough for the McPizza to be sustain- able in the long term, and by the '90s, the whole thing seemed like a drunken fever dream. — Source

23

Sizzlean Swift sizzlean - - - - - - - - - - - 60% Leaner - - - CRACKED.COM If all that Lean Cuisine and Diet Coke left you sobbing for even one slice of bacon, there was a product for that, too. Sizzlean was a Frankenbacon of various meats pulverized beyond recog- nition, but at least it t - yeah, поре, it still had almost as much fat as regular bacon. — Source

22

Light Drinks Diet Diet Diet Diet Diet Coke Coke Coke Coke! Coke - CRACKED.COM The success of Diet Coke in 1982 per- haps led the company to fly too close to the sun. It kicked off a whole slew of light drinks, like Crystal Light and Bud Light, in response to the burgeoning health craze. Sure, they're not actually much better for you than their non-diet counter- parts, but you can't blame people for being desperate. Those leotards were not forgiving. — Source

21

Beverly Hills 90210 spanned the decade, 996 airing from 1990 - 2000. 1002 1002 1004 1005 1006 100 1485 1997 1998 19HR 1990 1991 In one fell swoop it 1997 1998 1999 pioneered the 1991 teen soap 1996 1997 1994 1995 drama and spawned a 1992 1993 small army of 1995 copycats. a and 1991 1999 CRACKED.COM NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s — Source

20

In 1993, Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband's d*ck while he 1998 was 1999 asleep. 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 Then she got in her car, 1997 1995 drove off, and 991 ditched 1993 it in a field. 997 1998 1999 1990 1991 395 1996 1997 1998 1999 CRACKED.COM NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s — Source

19

In 1995, Toy Story became the first feature-length 1992 film to be completely 99 1990 199 997 1998 1999 computer-animated. 995 1996 1997 NS SPACE Its release 1990 ushered 1991 1999 in 993 a 1994 new 1995 993 era in visuals, for Hollywood. 1993 1994 1995 1992 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

18

Some absolutely 1994 huge websites were 199 launched in the '90s. 1999 1993 1995 1994 1997 - MNM M/2K Sec SAGE Over Hoppe - BRANDA Beertween Dermtellung Vertad Facation 100% grough Association +tab Center - в Schweler - - Invtyliaren منا Google Disney Google Deutschland IMDb (1993), EBay (1995), Amazon (1994), GeoCities (1994), Netscape (1994), Yahoo! (1995), AltaVista (1995), ICQ (1996), Hotmail (1996), Google (1998), and Napster (1999). 1999 are CRACKED.COM NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s — Source

17

The '90s were the 095 19 decade the Spice 1993 Girls ruled the 1996 pop 1997 world. 1998 1990 199 1998 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 I AVAIL 1506 They were the most commercially successful British group since the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, 995 and Led Zeppelin. 1998 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 CRACKED.COM NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s — Source

16

If there was one cut that defined the '90s, 1990 92 1995 199 it was the Rachel. 1998 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1995 1996 1997 1998 One way 1993 hairstylist 1994 estimates that 1999 40% of her mid-90s clients 1995 992 1993 wanted that Rachel look. 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

15

1991 was a big 995 11 1994 year for Nickelodeon 993 cartoons. 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 993 1994 1995 1996 1997 It was the 094 debut of their first animated series: Doug, 1994 1995 Rugrats, and Ren & Stimpy. 1993 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

14

In 1990, Tim 1994 1995 15 1992 1993 1994 Berners-Lee created the first web server. 1999 1997 The قطب adidas حمد NOT JOWN PROPRIETE CERN 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 That 1991 first server made the worldwide web 1990 possible. 1991 991 1999 1993 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

13

Men were 100 1994 1995 15 1994 bleaching 1009 their 1992 1993 01 1992 1990 199 hair in 3 the late 95 '90s. 1999 Bangs for men 1995 were 1996 1997 also 1998 1993 1999 1997 big at that time, either 1994 1995 1993 flipped up or curtained. 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 CRACKED.COM NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s — Source

12

In 1992, Sony and Nintendo briefly 99 1992 1990 1992 joined forces. INHE 1997 1998 1999 1995 1996 1997 SONY SONY PlayStation + START SELECT Their love child was a single 096 1997 prototype that played both Nintendo cartridges and Sony CD-ROMs. 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

11

In 1999, we 1991 were all using the pause trick 1996 199 in Super Smash Bros. 1990 98 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 Nimendo + 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 It was a super-sweet 996 1997 Nintendo 64 move that'd 995 freeze the game in action. the NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

10

The first Harry 1991 Potter book : 1999 1990 published 199 in 096 1997. is 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1998 1999 the 1594 1995 1996 1997 J.K. Rowling says she 1996 1997 regrets having different titles in the U.S. vs. worldwide. 1991 1995 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

9

On April 17, 1991, the Dow Jones 1991 1992 1990 1999 1993 closed above 1993 994 3,000 1995 98 1999 1996 1997 for 1996 the first time. 093 1994 1995 1997 1998 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 The The world puts ice stock in UI - Tim 1997 1992 1993 1994 1995 These days the Dow closes 1992 1993 at well over 27,000. 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 CRACKED.COM NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s — Source

8

Sonic the LOS 1994 1995 IN 1992 1993 1994 Hedgehog 1999 1990 1996 made 199 090 1992 199 1994 1999 his 1998 debut 1990 in 1992 1991. 1993 1998 1997 1991 1995 And Resident was 10 STATE Evil was released in 1996. 1992 1993 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

7

The Human Genome Project was 1990 1991 1992 1998 1999 1990 launched in 19 1990. 1998 1999 996 1997 So was LOVE the Hubble 996 1997 1995 Space Telescope. 1992 1993 1990 1991 199 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

6

The '90s are 1994 1995 15 1992 1993 1994 sometimes called LAND the 1997 199 Disney the the 992 Renaissance. 1993 1994 1995 1996 1999 1997 in late with the wildly successful It began The Little 1989 Mermaid, 1005 1996 reached its peak in popularity with The Lion King in 1994, and ended in 1999 with Tarzan. 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

5

In the '90s, we 198 wore stupidly- 1991 1992 1999 1990 199 oversized jeans. 97 1998 1999 N5 1996 1997 And if you've 1992 202 got 1001 $300, 1997 1995 you can buy them now. 1993 1991 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

4

In the '90s we 994 1995 15 1992 1993 1994 watched crime dramas 1996 199 199 like 1990 Diagnosis: Murder. 1999 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 will 1000 PART And Jake and the Fatman. 1998 1999 1997 Because there's nothing more 1995 entertaining than formulaic 1993 crime-of-the-week bro dramas. 991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

3

Freddie Mercury 15 1994 November 1092 died on 100g TOOT 24, 1000 1991.H 1000 He v was LA 45. 199 97 999 1001 1000 1002 1001 1005 ДНА 1592 1993 1950 The cause: AIDS-induced 995 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 pneumonia. 97 1998 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

2

Seattle became 1993 1994 the 1. 1994 epicenter of new music, thanks 1992 to Grunge. 199 097 1998 1999 1995 1996 1997 1993 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 Seattle bands were getting 96 signed to major labels at the rate 1997 of one a week during April, 1992. 1992 1993 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

1

In 1992, President 995 19 993 George H.W. Bush met 199 with Russian President 1999 Boris Yeltsin. 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 1990 1991 1992 1993 1994 1995 the 1994 1995 1996 1997 1998 1999 At the meeting, they 5 1996 1997 994 1995 formally declared that 992 1993 the Cold 1993 War is over. 1990 1991 1994 1995 1996 1998 1999 NOW YOU KNOW: THE '90s CRACKED.COM — Source

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