27 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, April 2, 2024

Bring them back to life, maybe?
27 of the Funniest Tweets from Tuesday, April 2, 2024

One of New Jersey’s finest is ready to bring something new to the big screen. According to a report from DeadlineKevin Smith’s latest film, The 4:30 Movie, has been acquired by Saban Films. The coming-of-age comedy follows three teenagers who spend their weekends lurking the theaters of their local multiplex — which is no different than how Smith spent his childhood — and the debilitating shake-up when one of the boys brings his crush into the fold. A slew of veteran comedians, including Ken Jeong, Sam Richardson and Rachel Dratch, are set to star alongside newcomers Austin Zajur, Nicholas Cirillo and Reed Northrup. 

Meanwhile, Danny DeVito’s directorial breakthrough War of the Roses is getting a new flavor — of the beans-on-toast variety. The 1989 film originally starring Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas is being remade by Austin Powers director Jay Roach, with Benedict Cumberbatch and Olivia Colman as the titular warring Roses. The remake, simply titled The Roses, will be the second adaptation of Warren Adler’s 1981 novel about the “perfect couple” whose marriage ends with a bitter divorce and nasty battle over their possessions. 

The timeline also has a bunch of loudmouth comedians ready to have their piece heard. Today’s funniest tweets include those about the perfect housewarming chemical, the men who found Waldo and someone whose metaphor got a little too literal.

Mark Lewis @marklewismd 6h ... Honestly don't know how to earn that 5th star Dr Lewis saved my life! 319 2,647 68.6K del 1.4M
Teddie @Teddie2point0.1d Jasper broke his arm yesterday and on the way to the hospital I was like I'm so sorry baby and he said no I'm really excited I've always wanted this 67 945 36.1K 909K
Shane 626 days until Avat... 18h ... Buzzing my Jeopardy! buzzer first and immediately saying I don't know every time 13 445 6,435 149K
@queeenthang. 1d sunny в ... Cierra Boddie Follow ... Mar 15 *Cornered by KKK members* Them: Any last words? Me: .....what the fuck is a klux? 123 4,254 63K 1.9M
Peer Richelsen - oss/acc Calcom 1d ... ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalised bowling ball 41 1,463 22K del 907K
flglmn @flglmn 19h ah well. it was though Watcher.Guru @Watcher... 1d JUST IN: Sam Bankman-Fried speaks out after being sentenced to 25 years in prison. I never thought that what I was doing was illegal. 30 740 22.1K 977K
Cody @AltHistCody 18h RIP she would've loved cigarettes and Facebook Ancestral Whispers @Sulkalmakh 1d Facial reconstruction of a woman found in the Moesring Mountains, Solstheim, dated to the Late Merethic Era. Her well-preserved remains were found encased in a block of stalhrim. Wounds around her abdomen suggest that she was killed by a powerful thrust, possibly with a spear. im Merethic Era Solstheim Merethic Era ralwhispers.org ancestralwhispers.org 80K 124 3.9K 2M
Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969 .5 5h ... decades-long manhunt finally ends SA the ATLANTA PANI 24 289 1.8K 42K
2024 Disliker @WindingDot.20h Widespread Severe Columbus CLEVELAND VAYNE PIT WIDESPREAD SEVERE COLUMBUS NCINNATI 35 414 4.4K 229K
ari @angeldisrupted . 1d ... can't have chocolate without pronouns now. because of woke. HERSHE DOD 29 3.3K 840K 58K
°+٠٠٥ clione chan 63 @boople_snoot·1 11h love when i give my friends my new address and they mail me uranium 2 IOSAT I you - - AMBEX SAT an Certificate of Measured R 2024 CAUTION Radioactie Material LA bees any балина Meter (Eben CAND package 1001-01 138 844K 2.9K 42K
brian @milkshapes 22h There are cathedrals everywhere for those with the eyes to see 38 1.1K 25K 494K
lan @IanxEnger . 1d Every time we stop at a gas station this shelf talks to me like the green goblin mask ... #1 Hostess Hostess donettes - e donettes GLAZED ومنا Hostese ettes doneti Sonetics West ettes du donette SUMBO don MBC densh 6 Danish 1 Snoballs CH and CupCakes Нен ZAZBAR KAZBARA Maiff كتاد KAZBARS Baby Democratic Baby Bundy Ciping SUMBOdoneng KAZHéRE DUMBOdoncies Baby Bus Dinis nanist Fruit Pie - 120 7.2K 60K 1.7M
... Oluwajomiloju @JomiAdeniran14h Paige Bueckers vs Caitlin Clark on Friday Exciting Whites LIVING LAP IVINGST LIVING CHABLIS LIVIN CHABLIS EL LIVEX PINGS Pic CAV CHA SWEET CABERNIT 1.9M 56K 4.6K 107
Brunette Bohemian @Jane_Doe82. 1d {guy pitching Chuck E Cheese} okay so it's a giant rat and the 8 year olds are gonna gamble 7 1.9K 23K 745K
Orwell & Goode $TREN @OrwellNGoode 1d Experience taking it easy at home Nov 2019 - Present same old place 60 13K 82K 2.9M
John Horton @johnjhorton 16h ... I told a grad-student co-author try to imagine me as the guy from 'Memento' who can't remember anything & needs clues to pick-up the thread on projects and they said I believe you, because you already used that memento analogy 16 583 12K 425K
annalisa al gaib @ryangosIingfan 23h No one is more excited for this movie than my dad. This is one of the only things he's talked about for months 173 dad > Today 2:02 PM 5 hours to go until Godzilla... Today 3:11PM HIT 11 rast RIZE TOBETHER DE FALL ALONE ONKY IN THRAGERS ENT IS MARCH 29 MARCH 29 IMAX - MAX Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire rottentomatoes.com Check out the Audience Score - 92% !! 639 21K 42 373K
TaylaFromLegal @TaylaPinto 23h Monday did such a good job at being Sunday, we should give her the gig permanently 28 6.7K 33K 747K
cold @coldhealing. dd ... ARCTIC G The SECOND that you have and CHIL a crush on a guy you need 43 ADL 22 ITALIA - to sign up to - volunteer somewhere. Google volunteer opportunities in my area and create a standing volunteer reservation. HOME - TikTo 23 2,209 27.2K 687K
rare insults @insultsrare. 1d crust @freakingaverage god really made me 5'6 wtf 8:33 . 1 24 Jul 20 Twitter Web App 96 Retweets 1,173 Likes Apollo @Xiv_Apollo 1d Replying to @freakingaverage Не put the 6 inches some where else 1 10 crust @freakingaverage 1d no he did not 2 87 355 4,530 131K 4.2M
Jamie @jami0mckay 13h omg she really does Ringo Starr's granddaughter looks just like the legend Anthony Harvey/Getty Images 23 1,304 36.5K 807K
beersmoker26 @beersmoker26.14h ... Why are they Indigenous loser retard @ripsquadfan 1d When she's never seen the classics drive (2011) What da hell is this?? Dorit Cheetos pepsi Duction Cherby #Me Mon V 111 1,504 44.2K 2.2M
KamYe @Kamreeee 23h Know who didnt lie? @Epithymia_ . 1d LinaRaye 50 Cent lied on MTV Cribs, JoJo admitted she was homeless and lied on MTV Cribs (it was her uncle's home), Ja Rule lied О... Show more 132 4,758 22.5K 1.4M
Cigs @UsingCigarettes 1d Is this guy a creep or just European Jeremy Fragrance @Jeremy... . 1d Jeremy FRAGRANCE Pose. #jeremyfragrance 646 2,431 74.3K 3M
Ms. Grace Kuhlenschmidt @... 22h ... thought this was a candle but it's just my friend's completely full glass of milk 85 929 36K 932K
It Meat As Well Be Spring 23h ... Need to hear them all say naur at once Christian Cortave @CCorta... . 1d Naomi Watts, Sarah Snook & Nicole Kidman together ALT 5 714 14.1K 572K


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