33 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, April 1, 2024

‘Where could it be, honey?’
33 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, April 1, 2024

It might be April Fools’ Day, but this news is no joke. Emmy- and Tony-winning comedian Martin Short will be adding a new role to his prolific career: mayor. The Only Murders star is set to succeed co-star Jane Lynch as the Mayor of Funner, California. The position will call on Short to “protect fun, good times, laughing out loud and positive vibes from the negative influences determined to turn a smile upside down” in the small town home to Harrah’s Resort SoCal for the next two years. Once inaugurated in May, Short will work with the town’s city council to promote fun and elevate tourism within city limits. The comedian will be the city’s fourth mayor in all, following in the footsteps of Lynch, Rob Riggle and David Hasselhoff. 

No stranger to fun, jokes or pranks, it’s just a regular Monday for the denizens of the timeline. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a group of diabolical movie-theater employees, one man’s standing truth and elder abuse against an aging gaming console.

vlada. @SUPERMODELSIN.1 1d 2 III FragranceNet.com TRUSTED ONLINE SINCE 1997 Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Very Wolf of Wall Street with a Cocaine vibe Written by Jeremy Fragrance on April 19, 2020
Justin Boldaji @justinboldaji • 1d ... When I worked at a movie theater we all purposefully said enjoy your movie after the person paid just to try to get them to say you too so we could laugh at them 17 57 1,227 29.1K
Douglas Cheape @CheapeDou... 1d ... I am currently helping my wife look for the Lindt chocolate bunny I ate on Thursday. 470 6,390 128K 4.2M
240p slabs @two40ftslabs.1 19h they call him Philip Seymour Hoffman because the seats of the movie theater Fill Up to See More of him Often 26 1,080 13.2K 423K
@cryst6l . 1 13h ... OBEY 12h April Fools Just A Regular Ass Day For Me ..I Been Lying. 146 13K 59K 1.6M
CEIRA @THEEPROBLEMCEE-1d whenever i'm having a bad day i'm just like dang imagine if i i had kids too 218 16.7K 77.4K 2.7M
good reddit @GoodReddit - 1d ... H ks 6m Ok Mr statistics. Did you know that chihuahuas kill more people than pit bulls. In 2019 chihuahuas killed 21,042 here you go Mr Statistics 1 dwc151 3m THAT'S PEOPLE WHO DIED IN THE MEXICAN STATE OF CHIHUAHUA. 1 42 2,381 59.1K 1.6M
Brock @brockomole. 1d ... It's like you don't even listen to what I'm saying Q hit the quan x Cancel When the Sun Hits Slowdive 4:45 It Was A Good Day E Ice Cube 4:20 i like the way you kiss me Artemas 2:22 SMASH MOUTH All Star Smash Mouth . 3:20 21 1,812 29.9K 443K
Brendan Kelly: Juggalo @badsa... 1d ... One time my friend opened for the Ataris and opened his set with a cover of boys of summer and I think that might be the funniest thing that has ever happened 39 173 2,299 del 177K
il Fagottino Prezioso @nof... 22h ... The Partir Cookier* welcome to my abode, love. can i pour you a refreshment McDonald's M MeDian 16 190 2,220 65.2K
nateDgrate @DmvSoci... 1d ... So the Pastor asked for all the single ppl to come to the front for prayer...I'm in my seat minding my own business when he then says Naé, your momma say come up here 230 2,066 19.6K 571K
Dayton from Nebraska @Brave... 1d ... Baves Fortunately, no one else has a similar name and an association with that number. 42448 MLB Jersey Numbers @Nu... .1d с Chadwick Tromp (@trompicalstorm) switches from number 48 to number 45. Last worn by LHP Brad Hand in 2023. #Braves TROMP 45 1M 28 368 12.5K
depths of wikipedia @depthsof... 1d ... WIKIPEDIA < Back W Mental health of Jesus Study of the psychological state of Jesus The question of whether the historical Jesus was in good mental health has been explored by multiple psychologists, 5,762 . 2.2M 178 60.4K
flames from the side of my face 1d ... this straight couple brought a BABY into a GAY BAR and got MAD when I joked these twinks look younger every year 224 4,048 95.6K 3.3M
@witnessborne - 1 1d ... I worked with a weary stoner type who told me a room in his apartment was full of chairs he picked up for free from the side of the road, chairs wall to wall. I asked what was his favorite to sit in. The honest truth is, I prefer to stand, he said in a plain voice 37 1,725 28.9K 584K
animals going goblin mode 18h ... dillard @dillythebish.3d ... Covered the dang dog like it's an enchilada kyle bhet - . . - @im_lo... 7/26/23 okay i covered him in tomato sauce (i only had the diced kind okay) BUT НЕ WONT STOP EATING THE TOMATOES!!! and НЕ STILL STINKS x.com/im_lowkey_asia... DICED 29 2,340 53.4K 1.3M
dr. umaria johnson @notkianna... 6h ... A doctor told you something and you askin twitter (a bunch of fuckin idiots) if the doctor is right Weed Twitter The Guy 1924 @CharlesMil... 6h So my Dr told me to stop smoking, because it increases my risk of schizophrenia by 20%, is this bull or nah? I am a 30 year old male. 85 4,842 22.2K 740K
Tee Lopes @TeeLopes 16h ... Forcing OG Xbox to stand is criminal. No respect for the elderly Buffaloking @Buffaloking5....1 1d What is Xbox's peak generation? #gaming X80X 122 9,417 116K 2.9M
kishmish @acchabaathai 10h I think i am bad influence Can i get a small room cooler so i dont kms in summers 12:51 pm (Dad) Yes, sure, but is it allowed in hostel? 12:54 pm And kms means? 12:54 pm (Mom) Kill my self 12:57 pm Message 90 3,837 67.3K 1M
il Fagottino Prezioso @nof... 22h ... welcome to my abode, love. can i pour The Restr you a refreshment McDonald's MODO M McDon 16 190 2,222 65.2K
Hannah Al-Othman @HannahA... 1d ... Absolutely mugged us off. Spent the past two hours knocking on doors asking people to check sheds and searching under bushes for a deceased cat. Got home and he was in the fucking house. 301 1,051 38.8K 716K
Mama Keni @Mamakeni_.21h When your 3 year old takes your photo 213 1,996 76.5K 957K
SSJ4 M. @maven_marlon.1 1d ... My folks send me something like this and all the passwords getting changed instantly Mike Scollins @mikescollins. 1d brutal Notification Center X Mom now M You don't make enough money to get the Hulu with no commercials??? 114 11.5K 71.5K dJ 2.4M
Amoeba @curnbucket. 1d the fuck was I on Amoeba @curnbucket 12/4/20 my hand is just a fork covered in skin 543 12.7K 260K 5.4M
charlie @StyledApe. 1d 12 Imagine waking up after being shot and GENTON the first thing you see is Steven Seagal pretending to be a doctor Jacob Charite @j... 4d Steven Seagal visited the victims of the terrorist attack at Crocus in the center of Pirogov, the Ministry of Health told RIA Novosti. Не thanked the doctors for their work and wished the patients recovery. minde any 413 6,089 66.3K da 3.1M
Patrick Cosmos @veryimportant. 1d ... I used to do this with my friend when he worked at the Marathon gas station DF DiscussingFilm @Discus... .1d Jack Black was regularly hanging around on set for Francis Ford Coppola's 'MEGALOPOLIS' Не won't star in the film, he just wanted to watch Coppola work. (Source: Deadline) FRANCIS FORD COPPOLA'S GALOPO 6 123 4,074 154K
stephen @stepheniscowboy- 6h Metro Goldeya Mager EDITION SPECIAL TRACK MARK Ok MALKOVICH JOHN GARY SINISE MICE AND MEN phantom @phantomspirits_. € 6d The power of friendship isn't working anymore I need to kill this motherfucker 27 2,534 28.5K 1.2M
Shay-Boogie @HeartBre... 1d ... Well what are they saying now? Cause I'm still saying off the chain tHE.IAST TOP @jusLikeMik.... 1d I said lit during a conversation today and my nephew and niece laughed and called me old and said who still says lit GIF 153 1,977 12.7K 636K
Minister for Spuds at the Dept... 1d ... The peaceful and completely uneventful 1940's 391 490 11.6K del 802K Nelson Follow @nelsonhands20 Replying to @historyinmemes when the world wasn't totally a mess 112 3,669 130K 1.5M
COME Oscar Meyer Lansky @Medium... 1d ... OUT YOV CVCKOLD What if you just go back? You mean walk in Sunday morning like it never happened? 18 2,294 27.5K 899K
Beer Enjoyer @YungGiamatti 1 1d ... The TV jumbotron over the pool table is SOLLYWOOD START insane CAMINOS N A e EXIX 113 1,295 25.7K 1.3M
howdy howdy howdy @Anthra... 17h ... are you hungry babe, we can go to either Pizaa Het or HOCKEY + an ICE ARENA 23 TD/ EXITES J 23 Reed Lebster Class: Graduate Student Ht./Wt.: 6-0 / 188 29 320 4,071 264K
teddy @Iemonsproda•1 19h Suggested for you Jesse Fowler 2d I spent countless hours turning aluminum welding wire into this chainmail blanket. WHY? I like having weight on me when I sleep, and I like to be cool. The heat dissipating properties and weight of Aluminium are perfect for this. 277 4,461 83.8K 2M


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