John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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29 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of March 25, 2024

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29 of the Funniest Burns from the Week of March 25, 2024

Despite her career-making run on Stranger Things and a number of other Netflix productions, Millie Bobby Brown recently shared a shocking confession: She’s not one of the 50 million viewers who tuned in for her latest film Damsel. In fact, the British actress doesn’t really watch movies at all. Brown told The Sun that she rarely has it in her to “to sit there and look for a screen for that long” and watching movies is just not something she has in common with her film-buff fiancé Jake Bongiovi. Sharing her negligent movie-watching habits might have been a mistake, though, as someone on the timeline noted that it explains “why her acting is the way it is,” which is obviously not a compliment. 

Luckily, she has two Emmy nominations to comfort her — along with the fact that she was far from the only one getting roasted online this week. Other burn victims included the Number One Boy, unoriginal crossword clues and Chicago White Sox fans. 

kpg @notoriouskpg 13h i guess that explains why her acting is like that 4F @DiscussingFilm n 1 8h DiscussingFilm Millie Bobby Brown says she doesn't really watch movies because I just can't sit there & look at the screen for that long People come up to me and say, 'You should definitely watch this movie, it would change your life'. I'm like, 'How long do I have to sit there for?'... Show more SIRA 58 1.6K 43K 2M

Matt Stocaí Bána @OHeirican_Dream 1d Sox fans on their way home tonight Spooky Sydney @spookysydney-3/19/23 today my dad saw a cop giving a clown a roadside sobriety test ENTER POLICE EMERGENCY DIAL 911 7 111 3K 345K

b @bryhatesyou. 3d I : know his gay ass be singing both parts to promiscuous @PopBase. 3d Pop Base Drake reps Nelly Furtado shirt in new selfie. VELLO 206 8 2.2K 105K

grace @amandayoungdyke - 22h average tuesday for kendall roy I am paradoxical @poptwats - 1/1/24 ??? 156 DRINK 52 LOSE HIS MIND 5 LEAVE/DIVORCE 11 CHEAT 3 KILL HIMSELF 7 4 fox26houston.com 20 1.3K 23K 1.2M

Kennnnn @kennn037.4d Getting categorized as Reddit Rap is the music equivalent of a hate crime Dro Vinyl Collection @99Vinyl_.4d Never been more curious in my life BANDCAMP RAP 21S REDDIT RAP TUMBLR RAP SOUNDCLOUD RAP KANVEIGOOD 77 1.2K 34K 1.3M

Heben Nigatu @hebennigatu. 1d I hate a see 13 down ass crossword clue. Bitch if you don't get your own identity 9 1.7K 29K 690K

Paul McCallion @OrangePaulp 19h ... I buy frozen broccoli like twice a week at my neighborhood grocery spot and this time as I'm checking out the cashier goes you know... we sell fresh broccoli too. gather me sister... 38 653 32K 1.1M

joe bro @jbromovies 2d Funniest possible color choice given how all their shows look DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm .2d Disney+ has changed their logo color Do you like the change? Disney+ Disney+ 1.3K 59K 3.1M 41

sean @_sn_n . 1d ... FEW fuck every word @fuckeveryword. 11/11/23 fuck poors 3.1K 19 37K 855K

TheNCSmaster @TheNCSmaster. 20h WB WARNER BROS, NO! WHAT? WB SORRY, FORCE OF HABIT PARAMOUNT, NO! DF DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm.20h Paramount has seemingly written off 'BIG NATE' and the 'RUGRATS' reboot. Both shows have been removed fro... 25 2.8K 21K 527K

Heben Nigatu @hebennigatu - 3d Sam Levinson writing the script: let4lpm kksjcnslnd smy snodin vikdhis Islfkn dmb.c bl dkmvix .veldkmyl mdndfinelted + K.,xvm. ds yd.v dsd. fmil s.d rmg/s vki mdg link milk and cookies - Irmeoleit9r eitkflec9g eeg 3ifpbbbbbbbbb 3igrbbbbbb r9gotbbbb e9bbb FILM UPDATES Film Updates @FilmUpdates 4d Production on 'EUPHORIA' season 3 has been delayed indefinitely as Sam Levinson has yet to finish the scripts. The actors have been given permiss... 12 1.9K 36K 1.1M

StarCaster @indigoshan1.3d Nobody told you that shit MIKA The Barber @tammikaje 4d my NATURAL teeth that gets accused of being veneers onna daily x.com/tammikaje/stat... 185 2K 17K del 1.1M

mallory mecklenburg @malmeck. 1d Happy #OpeningDay ! FOX ABREU S45 79 HAPR R 5 ELIMINATED KV CHICAGO WHITE SOX 110 985 17K 1.2M

Gay Jailer @normanrockwhale-2d she looks like people who resell stuff on facebook marketplace 6 234 5.4K 124K

DeWitt В. Fartin @DeWittBFartin • . 1d 5'8 dudes will say I'll get to the bottom of this as if they're not already there 36 827 11K 475K

carter hambley @carterhambley 2d ... girl on hinge told me i look ticklish. anybody need anything from the rope store 35 584 18.1K 813K

caroline (going woman) @soo... 22h ... guy who was really excited about the idea of a Pop Tarts movie until he heard it had Amy Schumer in it david ehrlich @davidehrli... 22h A POP-TARTS MOVIE ON NETFLIX WRITTEN, DIRECTED BY, AND STARRING JERRY SEINFELD CIRCA 2024 WITH AMY SCHUMER 49 1,527 34.2K 915K

louisa @stabfreeman 3d y'all.... it happened again.... i wrote another story where the main character was my self insert and ONCE AGAIN everyone in my writing class said they loved that my main character was a bad person GIF 64 1,874 57.4K 933K

+ @cartierbedrock• 1d ... old people on facebook will repost shit like this then bother their city commission to get rid of the playground by their house because the kids are too loud The Best @ThebestFigen.1 1d What you don't control, controls you. CG 1:17 81 13.9K 113K 1.6M

Isaac @GalaxyPeaBrain 23h Netflix 2009: Say goodbye to annoying late fees from blockbuster! Netflix 2024: Watch this 2 hour long SNL sketch in sobering silence with your parents when you visit because it was the safe choice. 4F @Discus... .1d DiscussingFilm The first trailer for Jerry Seinfeld's Pop-Tart film 'UNFROSTED' has been released. Releasing May 3 on Netflix. 29 - T-minus three... 24 636 12.4K 433K

THANK New York Photos @new_york_... 22h ... YOU! Falafel place by my house is doing incredible things LOONE TUNES That's all Folks! sibuli STINIAN BEASEFIRE - IL حافته RM PRO-AMERICA THIS BUSINESS STANDS WITH PALESTINE ANTI-TRUMP IN - HAVAR FOOD SWIS WITH SOUT 1980 - ... 11 266 5,181 130K

Tony Roundtree @Tonywithyy 2 2d ... This looks like one of those tweets where for every like it gets they make Flagg's head smaller and this picture is like the third one SPORTS @Com... . .2d Complex Sports Paolo Banchero surprised Duke signee & 2025 projected No. 1 draft pick Cooper Flagg with the Gatorade National Boys Basketball Player of the Year award. - - - 5 2018 2 2021 2019 2022 2022 AN ZONE ELITE F

rare insults @insultsrare. 12h Lmaoo Audrey Hockey 1 week ago listening to this from australia Reply 474 Hide replies ^ 1 week ago Max Key That's so sick!! thanks for the support Reply 38 Audrey Hockey 1 week ago i didnt say i liked it or it was good cunt Reply . 521 Audrey Hockey 1 week ago sounds like shit dumbass 135 2,085 49.7K 1.2M

chris @tophlo.2d ... i can't believe ClubChalamet called me broke GIF ALT Club Chalamet @Clu... . 2d Replying to @tophlo It's not that hard to invest if you have the funds to do so. 11 314 12.7K 485K

dash is watching satc (s4) . th... 3h ... this is the type of stuff an uber driver will tell you when you have your earphones in and obviously don't want to talk LB @_Luckyladybug.1d IM so GLAD CHRIS BROWN NAME WASNT MIXED WITH THE GAY STUFF. Him being a crackhead is okay with me 11 472 3,335 91.8K

Shellby Woo @Sneaker_Barb-4h ... Soooo this isn't funny but..... my grandma has dementia and my dad handles her money for her. So she called him and asked him for money and he asks how much? And this lady goes how about fuck you and hung up 80 1,795 16.5K 419K

boor @hotbillorani.2d the worst person you know is studying law 1,054 14.7K 55.2K 3.8M

Paul McCallion @OrangePaulp . 19h ... I buy frozen broccoli like twice a week at my neighborhood grocery spot and this time as I'm checking out the cashier goes you know... we sell fresh broccoli too. gather me sister... 39 679 33.6K del 1.1M

Auzy @xalareyth 23h ... if they put your brain in a dog it would oink. Cuff Da Gr8 @cuffdagr.... .1d Baby they can't make me hate Bill Cosby, R Kelly and damn sure not Sean Combs 70 2,166 13.7K 337K

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John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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