32 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, March 25, 2024

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32 of the Funniest Tweets from Monday, March 25, 2024

Marvel finally got a perfect Rotten Tomatoes score, and it came at the hands of some certified fresh mutants. The first two episodes of the Disney+ series X-Men ‘97 nabbed a 100 percent, making it the highest-rated X-Men project as well as the top-ranked Marvel series. While critics are praising the revival for its pitch-perfect blend of reverence for the original series with a fresh take for new audiences, the road to 100 percent hasn’t been without its controversies. Just days before the premiere, Marvel Studios announced the abrupt dismissal of series showrunner Beau DeMayo for reasons that still remain unclear. At the same time, right-wing outlets lambasted the series for “going woke” with LGBTQ characters — including a nonbinary mutant — despite the fact that X-Men has always been an allegory for minority communities. It’s been more good than bad, though, which is fortuitous given that two more seasons are in active development. 

Despite a disastrous performance from first-time host Jo Koy, CBS is committed to more Golden Globes. After airing the ceremony for the first time in more than 40 years, Deadline reported that the network has secured a five-year deal to broadcast the awards show on CBS and in-house streamer Paramount+. The new deal is a complete 180 from the one-year contract the two parties agreed to ahead of this year’s ceremony. Hopefully the reconfigured deal includes a clause about securing a host that’s better equipped for the gig. 

Meanwhile, the posters on the timeline have successfully evaded a case of the Mondays by blessing us with some hilarious tweets. Today’s funniest include those about the existential terror of accidentally closing a two-year-old tab, the most insane pregame playlist and a grocery store employee’s separation of church and state.

hb @h3xenbrenner2.20h (signing off an email) I don't trust you 3 250 2,422 del 59.6K

withered old crone @Fla... 9h ... what if a make-a-wish child's dying wish was to order $100 worth of mcdonald's on doordash and not tip 26 405 7,993 231K

SALLS Everything Out Of Context 1d IVI mom > I'm ju speechless ht now Humphis - - Speech 100 - - I 163 13.1K 219K 4.9M

out of context house m.d @noc... 1d ... When Your Circle Small... But All Y'all PERFORM MEDICAL MALPRACTICE !!! 38 4,057 36.9K 771K

baber @bakerbakerbaker.2 20h the god damn aldi forces $149 ALDI - - S 499 boths - Pack ALDI DEAR 14 STAINERSS DE STE TUMBLER MEST 88 1,686 33K 1.7M

alex WILL PASS UPCAT AND... 23h ... because the frappe was so good she literally said it robbie @Robertvrse. 1d ok but fr why would she do this Sky Rian 6h Frappe was SOOOOO good had to ride it 103 10.5K 167K 4.4M

holmes @charlesxholmes. 18h the dj dropped bulletproof last night and lemme tell y'all the white folks went fucking nuts. never seen nothing like it. i owe la roux a big apology. wasnt familiar with the game 26 283 6,324 217K

Jennifer @JennSalerno310.1d His journey to sobriety starts now SNY SNY @SNYtv. 1d I'm addicted to the playoffs J.D. Martinez expresses his desire to win on.sny.tv/cjB8AE8 LA 164 479 9,371 1.2M

Jenée @jdesmondhamis - 15h ... My friend went out with a guy who works at Trader Joe's and when she mentioned she likes the new brookie caramel candy clusters he said he didn't want to talk about work 34 265 11.3K 515K

gal pacino @weyes_ass. 1d Me when something utterly droll happens Oh No Не Didn't @ohnohed.... 1d Patrick Ewing eating popcorn at the Knicks game MSG NEW BKN 34 9:58 0 NYK 28 2ND| 14 1 262 4,206 258K

Mehmet Okurrrt @Natural_OneDurr - 2 20h You're a mass comm major? How does one stop the presses in the digital age? HAPPY CJ Fogler account may or may not be not... 20h Kim Mulkey consoling Savannah Wheeler MARCH MADNESS ESPN MIDDLE 33 NKES ESPN 04 abc 40 771 9K 907K

ping @bigbamboos 1d You have to imagine yourself outside a gas station in orlando forida with a cigarette wearing this and some stuffed animal slippers to understand jack @wackkay . 3 3d Who in gods name is responsible for this Lana merch lanu Rey Relige منتم BEAU ديم ARK SAUTISU Paradise cherr list - and - Lana de WEALTHRAL ВО ra Не DELREY TC Stars check intmy oyes HOSPITAL BEAUTIFUL say VIOLETS DAR se ROSES Apr cherr 10 378 5.3K 266K

ess @peachybaz. 1d i always got so fucking mad at these quizzes bc they'd ask things like do you want to kiss girls? and i was like I dont know! That's why im asking you! Kate Austin (she/her) @KateAustin_ 2d taking an am i gay quiz in middle school and the result being yes C 0:03 54 1.8K 51K 1M

The Devil's Advocate @DammmnCam 1d Doc gone yell Kobe when he toss ya feet in the garbage is ist, يرور @CyresKenneth . 2d They trying to kill us lol Americanving Nutrition Facts Total Fat 0g Serving Sixt Sodium 10ng P Thode (814eL) Total Carb 32g ORiginAL 2 Amount DE serving TO Supan Kig Calories 140 bed Sig Added Sugars G ORiginAL kittles Protein ORigin TRopical Skittle Skittkittles CA CASH REFUND 148 ENR UNDED DRINK FOR 14 FL OZ (41 CELS SAMPLE SIUS CE LEMONADE - CERUGAR ORANGE CI C C C CELSIUS CELSI LIVE FIT CELSIUS CELSIUS. CELSIUS LIVE et LINCA CELSIUS LIVE FIT D FIZZ-FREE RAZZ F DL LIVE F11 FIZZ-FREE

Sam Jeske @Sam_Jeske 7h ... Day 1 of gaslighting my family into thinking there's a new New York Times word game @NYTGames 6:49 LTE 96 D BJ 4 NJ day ones Jumble 6 54 922 42K 1.7M

unholy meat obelisk @bisexu... 19h ... hate someone who won't play along W a bit. i'm inviting u to spend time with me in this world i've created and your pride disallows joining me. fucker 14 4,082 29.8K du 585K

leastfavorite! @leastfavorite_. 1d ... disgruntled fifty year old polyamorist: sorry boys, can't go out.. got ketamine night with the ol' ball and chain and chain and chain and ball and ball and ball and chain 12 1,590 18.5K 547K

erica @ericanextdooor-1 12h no he was 3 boyfriends ago, my great great boyfriend 99 4,584 52.9K del 1.4M

xtian @AOWTOUDOUZAT 1d ... Last night I ordered nachos and I was like is it enough food? and the waitress said yeah it's five pieces and I was like huh ok wonder what that means...... they brought me FIVE TORTILLA CHIPS with scoops of cheese and chicken LMAOOOO 315 396 9,215 658K

lex @lexlugar_ 17h Told you y'all not real borrowers crab dip was amazing and so was the cast iron dish 106 981 13.8K 586K

@lexxijeannnnnnn - 1d ... just got a new pet his ass do to much 373 3,856 66.4K 1.6M

Megi @reaIsnowhite 1d me omw to the club with the essentials 7 1 e Babybel PROVISIONAL DRIVIN I A H HD4 L 21 1,870 35.1K 1M

kathy M @KATHODE_RAY1d Icelandic stoners be like pass me the bjong 17 1,253 19.7K 685K

jatz crackers #Pray40 @iconsp... 1d ... function about to go crazy... 8:30 62 PREGAME PREGAME Animal Crackers In My Soup Recordings shirley temple Original Shirley Temple ao Miss Botto Davia I've Written A Letter To Daddy Bette Davis Everything's Coming Up Roses Ethel Merman KEET 17.L0011 . The Trolley Song Judy Garland, MGM Studio Chorus 27 11.4K 1,152 378K

Laura @fairycakes 1d just accidentally closed a tab I've had been meaning to read for the past 2 years 342 14.9K 156K 3.3M

Jill Twiss @jilltwiss 19h ... On the first day I was interning in the Senate, I got lost and accidentally exited out a door the President was supposed to go through at that moment. And like 100 reporters came running at me yelling questions. I said, NO COMMENT and cried the whole way home. ethan !!! @slimeguyet... 3/14/24 share a piece of lore about yourself 30 741 32.3K 1.4M

paddy fox @snoxyy14. 22h for just 7 grand you can look like a 1970s IRA member. MENU GUCCI Share look 52 31 284 4,335 del 206K

mother earth @feminterru... 23h ... he put his coc between my teau twins 25 1,230 10.4K del 365K

Corn @upblissed 15h Каро P Hartnabrig Mar 9 When she suck the head only oh bitch u must want my grandma necklace Haha Comment Share You, Greg Marshall and 8 others 2 Shares Gloristine Higdon My God what's that about 2h Like Reply Antoine Williams Gloristine Higdon nun grandma it just a post 269 4,768 67.4K 3.4M

diddy @diddyfiles 1d my sister passed out so we get to the hospital she finally wake up the first thing she ask me is where her iPad im irritated!!! 368 1,397 42.4K del 1M

DK. @7daijak·1 1d Don't invite me to game night & y'all playing those freaky ass card games. I like to play uno .. a lil jenga. I am not trying to lick nobody ear. 162 13.9K 98.1K 2.4M

michael wave @SzMarsupial.3 3h ... yeah, great place to be fighting guys, real smart, this can only end well PASAREIS ... our ALT 129 2,474 33.3K 773K

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