John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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27 of the Funniest Things People Did to Their Siblings

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27 of the Funniest Things People Did to Their Siblings

I feel sorry for only children. While they’re alone in their rooms, creating imaginary friends and staring out the window, kids with siblings are terrorizing each other and creating traumatic memories that will last a lifetime. Like one Redditor who, when his brother was being particularly annoying, duct-taped him to a bed, locked the door and left him there for four hours. That’s brotherly love, baby! 

On that note, other Redditors have dug deep into their well of childhood traumas and remembered the times they tormented their siblings, and some of these evil plots are straight out of a Hitchcock film.

palermoguy1. 11y I'll never live this one down. I was 7 or 8 at the time and my parents had just picked me up from karate and dropped me off at my grandparents place where my sister was. Eager to try out my new moves I asked my five year old sister to go into the hallway with me where I carefully told her to stand with knees bent and remain still. I distinctly remember how excited and cooperative she was. I then positioned myself in front of her and screamed out loud Ready Stance -- KEEEE YIEEEEEE and kicked her

laundryandblowjobs . 11y Described my older sister's pubic hair to a boy in her class, when she was in 7th or 8th grade. (I'm so, so sorry...) ... 99

Rojosapien . 11y Sister was drinking a vanilla milkshake at a fast food joint. Saw they had mayo packets right next to the straws and instantly an idea formed. Carefully sucked the mayo into the straw so the entire straw was now filled with the stuff. When she wasn't looking I swapped the two straws. She ended up vomiting all over the floor. Still one of the better pranks I have ever pulled. ... 357

LightBrownBear. 1 11y I filled a weather balloon with fine glitter in my sisters closet. It was to big to get out of the door so her only option was to pop it. Every single article of clothing she owned was coated in glitter for over a month ... 181

jckgat . 1 11y I hit my little sister in the face with a baseball bat when we were both really little and knocked her front teeth out. She got me back years later with a wooden croquet mallet to the temple. ... 13

tombombadil3rd . . 11y Brothers bed didnt have a bedframe but boards that went across under the mattress. I removed them then filled a container used for keeping sheets under the bed with water and ice. I then delicately replaced the mattress without it falling into the water. It was the hardest thing ever to wait patiently for him to fall for it but the bellow of rage from the other side of the wall was completely worth the wait. ... 409

Rriley2 . 1 11y Christmas morning when we were young, I threw one of those tennis ball-sized jawbreakers right at my older brother's head from across the room. I got him square in the temple. First you hear a crack, then a thump, then a never-ending bloodcurdling scream. Не told me Santa wasn't real. The dick. ... 73

hectorwc . 11y I have a little brother who is 8 years younger than me. When he was about 6 he had a Specialized bike helmet. I took off the iz stickers so he rode around for a few months with a helmet that said Special ed. That was not nice. ... 984

awerre . . 11y When I was 11 and my brother was 9, we were out walking our dog. I unclipped the leash, attached it to those little loops on the back of his sneakers, and let him walk away while I was holding the leash. Не faceplanted on the sidewalk. I was not a nice kid. ... 29

CplThemo . 11y My younger sister once wanted to do some chores around the house to earn some money so she could go to the movies with her friends. While she was at school one day, I did ALL of them. For FREE. The look on her face when she got home was worth it. ... 98

sky6512 . 1 11y I dared my sister to go poop in the woods and then my friends and I speared it with a stick and we all pretended to take a bite. She hesitated when it was her turn, but didn't disappoint. ... 756

zOmbiegrl . 11y When my brother was little, I convinced him that his name was spelled S-H-I-T. Hilarity ensued. ... 403

aftqueen . 11y My brother is ten years younger than me. When I was 16 we got a dog who quickly grew to be about twice as big as him so he was terrified of her. I liked to tie dog treats to him and watch him run around screaming while she chased him around. ... 161

leprachaundude83 . 11y I once trapped my brother in the attic for four hours. I gave him a children's book for entertainment but would intermittently turn the lights off and on. ... 113

 . 11y I was the middle child, one older brother, one younger bro. The older bro and I cooked up pancakes made out of mud and told little bro how delicious they were. We can't help he believed us and ate one. I'd say we were 4, 5 and 7 at the time. haha. ... 67

supercaliohfuckit - 1 11y Brother was watching my dads new puppy a few weeks ago he is a very heavy sleeper. also tends to sleep till like 4 in the afternoon, so the day home my Dad got home i put bruno on the television spit into a BUNCH of tissues like forty set up the hand lotion and waited outside when my dad walked in. he doesn't let him watch the puppy any more. ... 34

CharistineE 11y When I was about 8 or 9 and my little brother was about 4, our mom had one of those 1970's style exercise bikes where the handle bars were on a spring and you pulled it back to use. If you let it go, they always sprung forward. One day I convinced my little brother to try an experiment. We would only pull it back half way and see which way it went when we let go. Being 4, he went along with me. I was on the bike pulling half back and he was in front of

LChurch 11y My sister (as most teenage girls do) had about 500 posters in her room of boy bands, actors... Etc. One day I went in there when she was out and turned every single one of them upside down. It was so non-threatening as a prank even my mother laughed at it. It took her a few months to finally be bothered to change them all back. Totally worth it. ... 214

Sundaylimes 11y I remember once I made some chocolate-chip cookies. I was so exited to take them to lunch the next day for school. I discovered the next day my sister had eaten all of the cookies, so in a fit of rage I hid 6 raw hotdogs all over her room. I don't really know why, but I mean, these were in places that would take forever to find. She found the first one about six months later all moldy and stuck inside the arm of a winter jacket. Hilarity ensued. ... 67

Anlmbroglio . 11y Locked my little brother in a minivan with four smoke bombs. It filled the van completely, and all you could see were his hands pressed against the window. Hilarious stuff, I tell you. ... 304

PotatoSalad . . 11y I told my sister that I put perfume on my butt and had her sniff it. At which point I then farted. She cried for the rest of the night. ... 58

vballkatie97 11y We were at the dinner table and she was sitting down to eat with a glass of milk in her hand. I decide, right before her butt hits the chair, to kick it backwards. She hit the floor hard, bruised her tailbone, and her milk went everywhere. It was the funniest thing though ... 34

Just_me_again 11y Brother was annoying during a Superbowl party. Told him we where gonna play a game...duct taped him to a bed and left him locked in a bed room for 4 hours....yeah I was a jackass back then. .. 202

Mattbelfast 11y I filled my brothers suitcase with condoms when he was going on his honeymoon. Think a big suitcase, filled with 250 condoms and a spoon. The spoon was so he would be stopped by security and it would be searched. Не laughed, his new wife did not. She still despises me to the day. ... 265

moon_J . 11y I slapped my brother with a piece of soggy pot roast once. Не retaliated with slapping me with a piece of bologna. ... 270

rr1252 . 11y Brother put dog food in my cocoa puffs. I ate them all, thinking they were just stale ... 49

nooneofconseqence 11y One brother hatches an evil plot, the likes of which the other has never seen. i have two older brothers, Ricky, the oldest, and then Kenny. Ricky was about 14 when the Ring came out in theaters. he was being obnoxious and bragging to Kenny that he was so old and so mature, that he could go see the ring and Kenny couldnt. so Kenny vows to have revenge on his evil brother. When Ricky returned home from the movies, all seemed normal, the house was quiet, he was home alone. or so he believed. Kenny had hidden in

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