38 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Pitch: Jesse Plemons gets to chill
38 of the Funniest Tweets from Wednesday, March 20, 2024

Months after tweets were unearthed that had the timeline questioning Travis Kelce’s intelligence, the powerhouse tight end might be getting the last laugh. The three-time Super Bowl champion is in talks with Prime Video to ask one of the most iconic questions in game-show history: Are you smarter than a fifth grader? Kelce would be stepping into comedian Jeff Foxworthy’s hosting shoes (cleats?) with a retooled, celebrity-centric version of the quiz show. Should the deal go through, Kelce would join the likes of Michael Strahan and Peyton Manning, who have also taken their talents from the gridiron to prime-time game shows, hosting The $100,000 Pyramid and College Bowl respectively. 

Elsewhere, Variety reported that the Neverending Story is staying true to its name, as the German classic is set for a new adaptation from the team behind The Power of the Dog and Slow Horses. Michael Ende Productions and See-Saw Films are bringing Fantastica back to the big screen with a series of movies that will provide “a fresh perspective” with “new layers and meanings” for a new generation getting acquainted with the spectacle of Ende’s prose. 

Meanwhile, things on the timeline are wholly original today thanks to these hilarious posters. Today’s funniest tweets include those about a Dark Age punishment for yappers, a poly couple that’s not so secure and a mobile game taking the phrase “aim for the head” a little too literally.

That Boi @_That_Boi_ 1d YOU WANT ME TO DO WHAT?!?!??!?!?! Level Objectives Blow off Zombies 10 times CONTINUE 228 6.9K 80K 2.2M
Matt Downs @cmattdowns.19h MetLife stadium field turf. FJ FanDuel Sportsbook F7 @FDSportsbook.20h Who's stopping this trio? S NEW YORK 17 C 8 81 53 2.3K 37K 1.6M
b @thefantasticbri. 8 8h Well she did a terrible fuckin job POP CRAVE @PopCrave. 9h Pop Crave Ally Brooke tells Keke Palmer that she was the glue of Fifth Harmony: After we were formed, Simon pulled me to the side and he said, 'You are the glue who holds the group together.' And I was like, 'Oh my God, what?'... It was like a crown that he was giving me. 134K 10 182 3.6K
mal @mvlqk - . 1d rejected the cookies from a website cause it's ramadan 68 7.8K 57K 1.3M
cleo @punishedcleo. 1d film guys according to tiktok: you've not seen this 7 hour film from luxembourg made in 1893? loser! film guys i've met irl: not to sound like a filmbro but i really like fight club film guys on twitter: have you seen the 1998 tony scott joint enemy of the state? it rips 62 680 10K 453K
ettingermentum @ettingermentum 4h sungbo cleamy Yesterday at 10:24 PM (complimenting my muslim coworker's outfit) i thought you weren't allowed to eat right now 5 27 4.4K 50K 1.2M
&rew @skoobydroo 1d Natalie Portman in black swan: JP @jpbrammer. 1d just received some startling news from a public bathroom mirror 25 6.2K 69K 2.3M
Kakashi Hatake @grandtheftnoise 5h THE I said real in an interview 94 427 3.2K 121K
mama p @portiaarenee. 21h They would've had to put 2 on me Creepy.org @creepydotorg.2d During the middle ages, talkative women were punished by being forced to wear metal cages on their heads. 88 8.4K 52K 3M
Carl Kinsella @TVsCarlKinsella. 23h ... the hype Follow @TheHyyyype olive oyl: i'm going to the store, be back later popeye: ok just don't forget the S- olive oyl: i'm not gonna forget the fucking spinach. jesus christ V Variety @Variety • 1d EXCLUSIVE: A new Popeye movie is in development from screenwriter Michael Caleo (Sexy Beast, The Family).... 1 237 3,681 119K
out of context dogs @co... . 12h ... MOTALA EXPRESS SELLEXPRESS 458 13K 196K 5.9M
Peter Twinklage @PeterTwinkla... 1d ... annual reminder No, you're not an icon. You're not a slay queen or an e-boy. You're a sinner. Brigham Young Virginity Club 90 5,529 45.8K 1.6M
mom said it's my turn wit... 10h ... LISAN AL GAIB Mr. Chau @Srirachachau 20h Pacino should've been in Dune just to hear him say all that stuff 17 358 5,565 388K
ki snow @kiaraimanii_esq 19h ... The paper towel roll when I enter the kitchen to make a full meal: GIF ALT Rasta Pasta @azaw_ras•1 1d Paper towels don't stand a chance when I'm in the kitchen 94 15.6K 105K 3.8M
chase. @cfree94.1h ... work crush told me he broke up with his gf and i accidentally said thank god right to his face 17 79 2,762 69.5K
- - / un . - - ! katie @focusfronting 17h ... once I was hanging out with a bunch of native spanish speakers and one of them was like you know, it's nice talking to you because it helps my english. you put words in orders I have never heard before and everyone else started nodding. still unclear if compliment or insult 50 854 27.6K 485K
Mollie Goodfellow @hansmoll... 6h ... I can't believe the internet is real, every day is a gift if you just choose to see the light zensa LIDOCAINE CREAM DIN 02449684 30 g Come with me to remove the tattoo1 got matching with my mom BEFORE I found out she was sleeping with my husband. 5 19 342 25K
alex goldman @AGoldmund 1d Your OG ... @LRNROSE jigsaw wouldnt scare me either. cus i'll just die. thts fine. im not doing your lil pranks 9:18 PM - 3 3/29/21 Twitter for iPhone 3 575 6,390 del 118K
WHITE bug spray cody @aevris_ 17h ... the weighted blanket isn't enough i need to be put in a contraption Ads . Shop small contr Autism Steam Roller 137 5,175 43.8K 1.4M
sophia @pastoralcomical.4h ... roommates ... .. the coworkers of the home 1 37 838 13.8K
yuuko from nichijou @headfal... . 1 10h ... son of a bitch 08:29 to edge perchance to goon Top People Photos Videos Latest Including results for to edge percance to goon Search instead for to edge perchance to goon clown @bugsquelcher 05/12/2023 To jerk, to edge-to edge, perchance to goon - ay, there's the rub, for in this tugging of pud what dreams may cum... 1 8 433 33 1,214 23.7K 552K
chelsea @clitcruiser.1d messy ppl always eating some damn chipotle 345 3,454 16.8K del 1.1M
lolcow laureate @notbenfish . 1d ... (talking about something I've seen a few people on the computer say) It's sad that everyone thinks like this now 4 383 2,520 del 76.8K
hannah strong @thethirdhan.1 19h concept: a movie where jesse plemons IR just has a nice time and is neither witness to or responsible for atrocities 54 1,107 20.8K del 829K
ilove urr girl ginger @pepr... 23h ... there was a body in the water reservoir ilove urr girl ginger @p... 2d first photo is the school dispensed water from the water fountain WHY IS IT GREY HYDR DEER YOUR PARK REWA E CYCLE PLEASE rewards drop, 217 2,459 32.3K 811K
evil björk @lynchiandoll.22h ... this what i think of when someone's says lana del rey aesthetic ... not that coquette stuff that's always trending on tiktok m @morg_alexx-1d me & who LIVE LOBSTER RED LOBSTER 49 3,217 54K 1.4M
molly @mollyEatsTofu - 1d ... Broke my self imposed 2-year ban on bringing my dog on dates and he sat on the man's lap and stared me down like this???? ROASY 11 96 2,890 93.4K
Aidan James @mcandidate. 9h thank you Photos for throwing up this treasured memory today TESCO -- PENNE m THE MADE IN ITALY - Its hollow centre and distinctive ridges hold sauce well I I PAU - pasta Sugar و ١٥ - 0.4g 19g 0.24 1.1g 12 تر 2% 2% 2% mins 15% Hob of the reference interest Typical values per von Energy 199kcal is 4 years ago 18 110 6,017 124K
broti gupta @BrotiGupta 1d Thanks for offering me a bump of cocaine but unfortunately my best friend in college and I used to celebrate Friday nights watching Seinfeld while enjoying one glass of wine, a tradition we called Wine-feld so it's probably a no 5 75 3,768 del 141K
zach reinert @zachreinert0.1 1d You couldn't do another 9/11 in 2024. The plane would fall apart in air before it hit the building 19 706 8,174 315K
Hannah Posts @HannahPosted. 16h ... Не should marry Anya Taylor-Joy and they would be Aaron and Anya Taylor- Johnson-Taylor-Joy POP CRAVE Pop Crave @PopCrave. 1d Aaron Taylor-Johnson has been offered the role of James Bond, taking over from Daniel Craig, The Sun reports. Не is expected to sign the contract in the next few days. 128 4,032 60.5K del 2.4M
seraph @antipsychangel. 1d i hope they're doing okay FREE polyseeure polysecure Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nosmonogamy Jessica Fern A breword 2 in Eichert - Nore polysecure Nonmonogamy Attachment, Trauma and Consensual With Jessica Fern 1 foreward of Englident 1 Nors أ 1 Comp of Set KINGWA I на F a: 60 2,083 33.6K 1.3M
four @four1221669.8h yay i'm going to japan!!! 17:55 447 DI daddy - iphone > Fuck you ! I hope you burn in hell ! Fuck you to death ! Me saying sorry to you ?! Kapal mo! You r just an ungrateful spoiled piece of shit ! Putang ina mo ka! Bakla! Friday 18:09 Do you like to go to the US this July on ur vacation or Japan? 398 7,645 79.1K del 2.8M
mary @theoceanblooms- 19h ... Who Framed Roger Rabbit is one of those movies where as a kid you're like, this might be the greatest movie of all time, and then you watch it again as an adult and you're like wait how the fuck did they do this. 445 10.4K 119K 5M
caveman having a beer @swit... 17h ... When the bedtime got severe thunderstorn warning 3 349 3,592 61.6K
girl fieri @realgirl_fieri 17h You cannot check the Taco Bell bag before leaving. You get whatever Taco Bell wants you to have. There is no appeals process. 13 18 393 8,606
J @INSTAH0E.1d ... My 4 year old patient just asked me why I talk and act like a girl.. Babe it's 8:30am can I catch a break? 281 1,016 34.2K del 1.6M
MISTYGWIGS @MistyGQuartz-21h ... how you be wearing Dior but not DIORDORANT 81.8K 149 2.6K 2 1,462 19.2K 309K


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