21 Old Insults We Need to Bring Back

‘What you, egg?’
21 Old Insults We Need to Bring Back

Though many things have advanced in recent decades, it would be foolish to act like all of that advancement has been for the better. Culturally, there’s been a certain oomph lacking from many facets of our lives, including insults. People now lean into whatever one-word roast is of the moment, but there’s something very special about the roasts of yore. If someone hurled an “OK, Boomer” at me, I’d probably just consider it par for the course. I wouldn’t necessarily be unscathed, but it’s nothing I haven’t heard before. However, if someone told me, “I’d be surprised if you can count to 20 with your shoes on,” I’d not only need to take a minute to understand what that meant, but I’d need to be ready to fight once I did. 

Along those lines, these are the two-punch insults Redditors want to bring back into the popular lexicon, and damn if we don’t agree that calling people “egg” is the way forward.

Gear_ 0 5y You have a face for radio ... 119
jack_watson97 . 5y Troglodyte ... 760
TechyMitch1 5y In MacBeth, when one of the murderers stabs Lady MacBeth's son, he yells What, you egg? and I fully intend to call people eggs as an insult from now on. ... 209
KingShish . ! 5y I'd be surprised if you can count to 20 with your shoes on ... 18.3k
aouid . 5y I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire ... 12.2k
VampVape . . 5y Is your Family Tree a circle? ... 40.8k
NotChristoph . 5y who is this clown? because 1) you're calling them a clown and 2) you're saying they're not even a well- known clown ... 8.8k
niamhara . 5y Rapscallion ... 4.5k
RudolphClancy88 . . 5y My two favourite have always been chump and, especially, dunce. They just roll of the tongue so well. ... 5.9k
tutormonster . 5y I'd agree with you, but then we would both be wrong. ... 15.4k
dalvikcachemoney . 5y You're about as useful as a screen door on a submarine ... 16.2k
AviaryLawStream . 5y My dad used to ask his buddies when they would have breakfast together on the weekends: How is your wife and my kids? ... 15.6k
LockeRobster . 5y Shitbird. Classy and vulgar all at once. ... 1.8k
mannequinbeater. 5y Sit your five dollar ass down before I make change ... 4.7k
Nuffininit 5y Go take a long walk off a short pier ... 13.4k
creatorofstuffn . . 5y You're not the dumbest guy in the room, but you'd better hope he doesn't die. ... 15.3k
EasyWind24. . 5y Jabroni Or Your mother got the clap so many times the doctors call it the applause. ... 428
JonnyGoodfellow. 5y You're not pretty enough to be that stupid. ... 4.2k captainlvsac . . 5y When my so does something air headed, I just stroke her hair and say you're so pretty ... 335
Mrhappy-not . 5y If your brain was gunpowder, you wouldn't have enough to blow your nose. ... 5.3k
Janitarium . 5y Alternately, you couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel ... 4.9k
recesstheOry . 5y My favorite has always been: You don't know shit from Shinola. Shinola was (still is?) a shoe polish that very much looked like actual shit. I still use this...my wife thinks I'm an idiot. No one even knows what that means anymore. If you have to explain it to people, it isn't that funny. Not true. That's the best fucking part. ... 1.1k
SvenRipa . . 5y That reminds me of you couldn't hit water if you fell out of a boat
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