John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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22 of the Funniest Things Fathers Did That Were ‘Peak Dad’

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22 of the Funniest Things Fathers Did That Were ‘Peak Dad’

Dads are truly the epitome of “guys being dudes.” 

Whether it’s stocking up on a week’s worth of frozen dinners because mom’s out of town or traveling well over 2,000 miles for a free hat, the fathers of these Redditors have displayed some “peak dad” behavior. It’s not like they can control it either — once men become fathers, dad-isms become part of their DNA. Sure, you can laugh at the dad who has two distinct lawn mowers (one for lending and one for personal use), but you can’t call it nonsensical. 

And so, lace up your New Balances, grab a crisp Coors Light from the basement fridge, and get ready to learn what Peak Dad Form™ really looks like.

Salonqualitymustache . . 5y Не used to in my teenage years when I had friends over randomly kick open the door to the room we were in, loudly fart then run off giggling and telling my mother he got em again. ... 382

Ungoliantluvsu . . 5y Yelled Free Bird during one of my senior year high school band concerts in between songs ... 244

 0 5y My brothers and I came home from school and he ran up to us and asked, Do you guys want to see something cool? Не then excitedly lead us up to his bedroom and threw open the door to show us...his new air conditioner Get it? Cool? Isn't it cool? ... 41

Sassquapadelia . 5y When he stops a car that he's driving.....he makes the noise that a semi truck makes when it stops. ... 99

svelt-marsh . 5y When I was younger Dad used to take me to the pub and bribe me with salt and vinegar chips and a raspberry drink if i i didn't tell Mum where we were. Aussie Dad thing to do. ... 101

SimonPeggMe . . 5y Every time my dad would walk downstairs for something (we had a split level house) he would say, hey! look at me walk down the stairs! And he would pretend he was fake walking down the stairs while actually walking down the stairs. Не thought it was hilarious every single time. ... 63

Lakeveloute. . 5y When we were kids my dad used to have my siblings and I wear our clothes for the next day to bed....so we would be ready to go in the morning... this seemed normal until my first sleepover. ... 154

Heliotrope88 . 5y Parents are divorced, he lived a few states away. Не once sent me a six pack of bear for my birthday. Six small stuffed bears in a six-pack beer box. I was 12. ... 160

appa-ate-momo . 5y Screamed for me when he was on the second floor and I was all the way in the basement, just because he wanted me to hand him the remote that was out of reach. ... 550

muddyGolem 0 5y Не took all us kids to the ice cream parlor to get banana splits for lunch. Not for dessert, for lunch. Of course with the admonition, don't tell your mother about this. ... 516

dal-dal 5y Не was on a business call in his office, door closed. Sisters and I are chilling on the couches in living room. Dad comes out of the office, still on the call, and heads over to me. I think he's going to ask me for a cup of water. I was mistaken. Dad turns his back to me and lets out an earth shattering fart right into my face. Walks back into his office like nothing ever happened. I still smell it. ... 513

KidOrenge . 5y The dad tax. If he bought a snack for me, he'll take a bite before handing it over. ... 560

katherine_rf. 5y Не has two pairs of Crocs and refers to the ones with the fuzzy liner as his winter crocs. ... 262

punkterminator 5y One time, my dad travelled 3500km to get a free hat. Many years ago, my dad bought a very dad hat. This dad hat happened to have a lifelong guarantee, in which should the hat fail, you can bring it to any flagship store and get a free new one. After many years of good use, my dad's hat ripped and upon finding out that the only flagship store in Canada is en route to where his grandfather lived (RIP), my dad kept it for several months and arranged our travel plans to visit my great-grandfather so that

NeedsMoreTuba . 5y Не has permanent tan lines on his feet from wearing the same pair of sandals since 1995. Even in the winter. ... 174

AnyLamename . 5y The furnace broke at 4 AM on Christmas and he stomped out to the shed, dragged out a backup burner he found on the side of the road, and had it running before my brothers and I woke up. ... 739

KnittinAndBitchin . 5y Не has his white sneakers for mowing the grass, his white sneakers for shoveling, and his dress white sneakers for fancy events. Any attempt to get him to wear an outfit that doesn't involve cargo shorts is met with lots of complaining and arguing and bargaining to get him to put on something that isn't fucking cargo shorts for the love of god we're going to a nice restaurant please wear actual fucking pants ... 1k

 . 5y Without being asked, Dad built my brother and me the best treehouse imaginable. It was spacious, with a shingled roof, windows, and custom chairs and accessories so we could invite our friends to join us and be comfortable. ... 129

DarkLordFluffyBoots .  5y Can we go to McDonalds? Sure we can Really?! Yeah but we won't ... 1.1k

themorethenerdier . 5y Not my dad, but my boyfriend's. Last family gathering he walked into the kitchen and excitedly said Let's talk about Menards! Dads fucking love Menards ... 262

all_ways_all_ready. 5y Не has two lawnmowers, one for Lending, one for Using. If someone asks to borrow the lawnmower, he gives them the Lending lawnmower so nothing befalls our good lawnmower. It's like your grandparent's nice couch that only guests can use, but in reverse. And with lawnmowers. Peak dad. ... 1.6k

 . 5y While driving us all home after dropping mom off at the airport, we stopped at the grocery store and he told us to each pick out a week's worth of frozen dinners. ... 550

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John Early Is Figuring Out How to Be Sincere

As the star of the sharp new indie ‘Stress Positions,’ the irreverent comic works in a more serious vein. He tells Cracked why he’s getting comfortable with being earnest — even if he’s scared everyone will think he’s pretentious

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